


Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time

by LaCroixWitch



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Alaric Saltzman/Elena Gilbert Friendship, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst and Porn, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Bonnie Bennett, Bisexual Damon Salvatore, Blood Drinking, Blood Kink, Blood Sharing, Break Up, Caroline Forbes & Stefan Salvatore Friendship, Cigarettes, Clubbing, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Damon Salvatore-centric, Delena, Depressed Elena Gilbert, Diary/Journal, Drug Use, Drunk Sex, Drunk Texting, Drunk!Damon, Drunk!Elena, Elena Gilbert-centric, Elena Lets Loose For Once, Eventual Elena GIlbert/Damon Salvatore, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gratuitous Smut, Human Damon Salvatore, M/M, Magical Accidents, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minor Caroline Forbes/Stefan Salvatore, Minor Katherine Pierce, Minor Stefan Salvatore/Katherine Pierce, MotherHen!CarolineForbes, Partying, Sassy Damon Salvatore, Self-Harm, Shameless Smut, Smut, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Teen Angst, Teenage Rebellion, Underage Drinking, Vampire Caroline Forbes, Vampire Elena Gilbert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-03-01 03:15:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 33
Words: 116,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18791869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaCroixWitch/pseuds/LaCroixWitch
Summary: Elena is tired of everyone else telling her what to do. The precious doppelganger, she is under constant protection by her friends, family, and most annoyingly, Stefan. Always cool, calm and compassionate, it's hard to live up to good-girl expectations as a teenager- especially one who has been through all the trauma she has. After standing up for Damon one too many times, Stefan has started to think that maybe Damon is a bad influence on her. What nobody realizes is that she doesn't need a bad influence to misbehave.





	1. High as the sun, uncomfortably numb

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, stories or concepts of The Vampire Diaries, neither the series nor the books. If I did, I would have given Bonnie a well-deserved tropical vacation.
> 
> Song inspiration for the story: Don't Threaten Me With a Good Time- Panic! At the Disco
> 
> Chapter title song reference: 'One of the Drunks'- Panic! At the Disco

It's a balmy Saturday night in Mystic falls, yesterday's rain leaving a heavy and humid blanket of air over the town. Stefan was out hunting for bunnies, and Damon was in the living room of the boarding house, alone, nursing a glass of bourbon. Call it old-fashioned, but he wasn't one to use air conditioning too often, instead choosing to lounge about shirtless and in his boxer-briefs. It was rare for there to be a weekend without some form of supernatural drama, but he was happy for the quiet. Shifting himself to lay down further on the couch, he opened his copy of  _Catching Fire_ to the page he left off before. The page was bent from where he folded it, but nobody was ever going to find out that he read this book anyway, let alone know he was disrespecting the paper of the pages.

About 50 pages in, he got a text from Stefan:

_going out. be back some time tomorrow_

Stefan? Going out? Impossible. He and Elena must have made up and went somewhere together. His stick-in-the-mud brother was not the type to just go out to a club or a bar on his own. Damon took another swig of his bourbon and settled back into the world of Katniss and state-sponsored killings. His peace and solitude only lasted another half hour though, when he was interrupted with another text message- from Elena. A flurry of shorter messages from her bombarded his phone after that, arriving faster than he could read them.

_Damnn_

_imean *damon_

_Can u come piCK me up_

_Im at Witmoree_

_Fi sigma fiiii_

_Thx 3_

It was starting to seem like Elena and Stefan weren't out together after all. Damon was a little bit bothered by how her messages felt like more of a command than a question, but hey, he wasn't that busy anyway. Putting away his book, he glanced at the clock. What the hell is Elena doing at Whitmore at 3am? Wait, he's an idiot. Phi sigma phi? Whitmore? She's at a frat party. He shot her a quick text back.

_On my way._

He rushed upstairs to throw on a white v neck and jeans and hopped over the door into his open-topped Camaro, thankful that he didn't choose to binge drink bourbon and read a book instead.

90 miles per hour was probably a little too fast to drive the winding roads to Whitmore. The tree lined roads were flying by, and anyone without vampire-sharp eyesight probably would have crashed by now. But he was Damon Salvatore, and he was not about to let precious little Elena spend one more minute at a frat party. Thankfully, in some of his more wild times, he had spent more than enough time on Whitmore campus to have a solid idea of where the frat house in question was. He pulled up outside the deceptively stately looking den of iniquity, the bass from shitty party speakers flooding out the windows. Parking right in front of the lawn, he hopped out of the car to find Elena. It would be a lot less creepy to call her phone and listen for the ring. But it was loud, and even with vampire hearing it might be hard to pick out the ring from a distance. He could, however, use his vampire smell and find her. He would know her smell anywher-

Lost in thought, he was caught off guard when a pair of slender arms grabbed him from behind and spun him around.

"DAMON, YOU CAME" slurred Elena. She was hugging him around the neck now, her body a bit wobbly; she was quickly becoming dead weight, and he shifted his hands to her back to support her. The smell of alcohol was rolling off of her. What was it? A true alcohol connoisseur, Damon was able to narrow it down to Tequila, Vodka and terrible, keg-stand quality beer. But there was something else.

"Wait, is little perfect, good girl Elena ...  _cross-faded?_ "

"Pfft of course not Damon" She said the last word like she was a petulant teenager talking back to her parents. "I've just had a couple drinks, and maybe … smoked a joint or two?" She tried to hold her fingers an inch apart to emphasize how little she had partaken in the substances, but instead her fingers were touching and it looked ridiculous.

"Oh my mistake, I see it now. You are completely sober."

Instead of making an annoyed face at his sarcasm, she just let out a huge, full body giggle. Her black mini skirt was riding up her legs, and her tight red silky top was hanging on by one strap, the other hanging off her shoulder. She had clearly put a lot of effort into her makeup, considering the amount of lipstick smeared onto the back of her hand and the eyeliner gathering under her eyes. She still looked beautiful to him, but she embodied the definition of a  _hot_  mess. Looking down at her feet, he realized she was barefoot. In her hands, she was clutching only one shoe.

"Well Cinderella, your carriage awaits. Wouldn't want to wait too long, or it will turn back into a pumpkin"

"Ooh ok yes that would be … bad" She was fading fast. He tried to hold her hand and help her walk to the car.

"NO, I can do it myself. But after a few staggered steps, she suddenly jumped on his back instead. "THERE. This is better" She rested her head on his shoulder, and he couldn't help but notice how her legs were wrapped around his back. Should he take a second and just enjoy this? Sober Elena was never this rambunctious. When they got to the car, he swung her around him in one swift movement, and he held her in his arms, putting her down on the passenger seat.

The second they started driving back to mystic falls, this time at a reasonable speed, Damon realized that this was the closest way to compulsion that he could get some honest answers out of Elena. He didn't really know what was going on between her and Stefan, but he would be lying if he said he didn't want to know.

"So answer me this Elena. Why did you text me to pick you up instead of Stefan?" This question was a test to see if she knew that he went out or not, because now he knew for sure that he was not at the party with her. He doubted that this would get more information out of her than that, but it would at least tell him if Stefan bothered to tell Elena he was 'going out'.

"I couldn't. He wouldn't get it. He would be all ' _Why are being so reckless Elena. This is so irresponsible Elena. You shouldn't smoke pot Elena. Getting that drunk is dangerous Elena. You can't just go out partying and drinking like Damon does Elena. Damon is rubbing off on you too much Elena."_  She emphasized the word 'Elena' harder each time, making the conversation sound like Stefan was a strict parent as opposed to her boyfriend. That last line particularly caught Damon's attention though.

"Stefan thinks that I am a bad influence on you?"

"Yeah but he's wrong. You're good. You don't let people know it but you're GOOD."

If her words weren't slurred, the might have had a bit more of an effect. Her feet were up on the dashboard, the wind from the convertible tousling her already messy hair. As she pressed play on his cassette player, he was incredibly thankful that he had left a cheap trick tape in and not something embarrassing like the soundtrack to  _A Chorus Line._  She looked so carefree, despite her tirade about Stefan. It was like she wasn't engulfed in a vampire drama for once, just having teenage girl problems indulging in underage drinking. Damon wished she could just be like this forever. She deserved to be young. But, she was a doppelganger, and neither of them could change that. He couldn't help but feel the irony in the lyrics.

_I want you to want me_

_I need you to need me_

Suddenly Elena was singing along and tapping her hand against the door. Her hand fell to his against the stick shift and this was torture for him. She was smiling when he looked over, and despite being completely trashed, she was radiating with happiness.

As they were getting close to Mystic Falls, he was so tempted to just drive her to the boarding house and take care of her himself. He was tempted to do other things, but not while she was this way. With the resolve of a much more honorable man than he was, he turned down the road toward her house instead.

"No Damon! I can't go home, Jenna thinks I'm at Bonnie's. Take me to the  _Salvatore_  house" Her tone was downright suggestive, and wait, did she just wink at him? Just a single flick of her eyelashes and he could already feel the fire building inside of him. Against his better judgement, he was going to give into what she wanted.

"Your wish is my command" wheels squealing as he pulled a quick u-turn. She pushed into his body a bit from the quick turn, and he swore he heard her heartbeat a bit faster. It was probably from the reckless driving. Pulling up to the boarding house, she stumbled a bit as she tried to get out of the car. Damon rushed to catch her immediately.

"Humans really can't take their alcohol. We are getting you to bed, and I'm going to make you drink water even if I have to compel you to do it"

Closing the distance so there was only an inch between them, she purred "What _else_ are you going to compel me to do"

Now that was downright unfair. He took a deep breath to try to keep his composure, trying to ignore just how much his body wanted to show her exactly what he wanted to do. Her human warmth was radiating through his body, adding fuel to the embers he had been fighting to extinguish. She was being a tease- a dirty tease. His pants began to tighten, his body wanting to pin her against the front door. He tried to save face and muster up his best eye roll, but it didn't have the same sarcastic effect. A shock shot through his nerves, and if he felt the closest thing a vampire could have to a blush flush across his face. He was losing this battle.

Once inside the boarding house, he went to the kitchen to get her a glass of water, attempting to rebuild his resolve to not give in. Elena was drunk, he couldn't let her intoxication trick him into acting out his daily fantasies with her. Walking back to the living room, he expected her to maybe lay on the couch and immediately pass out. He wouldn't be surprised if she threw up on his Persian rug. What he didn't expect was for the living room speakers to start blasting dance music. The volume was cranked high enough to make the paintings on the wall vibrate. This was going to be more difficult than he thought.

Elena was dancing around the room, bottle of very expensive bourbon in her hand, pouring him a drink.

"Nobody likes to be the only  _drunk_  one. Also, I've never seen you NOT drunk on a Saturday Damon." A small growl escaped her faded crimson lips as she uttered his name, making it sound like a sin. She shoved the glass into his face, almost spilling it right on his shirt. He couldn't take this. He was the bad brother for Christ's sake, but not even a saint would be able to resist her. What the hell, he might as well join the fun. He threw back the bourbon, grabbed the bottle and filled his glass to the brim. Realizing this wouldn't even get him buzzed, he finished off the glass, resorting to the bottle of vodka reserved specifically for benders, and drank straight from the bottle. This was a bad idea. He should be better than this, but he wasn't.

Things got hazy, but he and Elena were dancing like they were in a club. He got up onto the kitchen island in one agile jump, making her laugh has he ripped off his shirt magic mike style, flinging the torn fabric into the fireplace across the room. She got into the fridge and started eating anything in sight, resorting to just squirting an open can of whipped cream in her mouth. She licked the remnants off her lips, and Damon was completely gone. With an outwardly innocent giggle, she drew small fangs with the whipped cream on the corners of his mouth. Elena Gilbert, pure, angelic Elena Gilbert, then gently traced her tongue along his lower lip, cleaning off her artwork. There was no going back.

"Do you want a snack too?" She was sauntering over to him in the most vapid way, brushing her hair away from her neck. He slid off the counter, completely entranced, all of his willpower to resist gone. Eyes darting from her gorgeous mocha eyes, to her long slender legs and back up to her portrait worthy neck, he licked his lips. The skin around his eyes tightened, veins spidering across his cheekbones, and his fangs protruded through his gums. The tiny rational part in his brain broke through for a second, and he remembered that at least if he fed from her, it would lower her blood alcohol level and pull her back just a bit from the realm of possible alcohol poisoning. He had been even more negligent, letting her bring the party home, and he was pretty sure she drank way too much since arriving at the boarding house already wasted. He was already too far gone, he might as well go completely on the elevator down to hell.

Sinking his fangs into her was the most pure form of ecstasy he had ever experienced. She tasted like sweet orange blossom honey, and the alcohol tainting her blood wasn't helping with his intoxication. If this sent him to hell, he would happily burn forever.


	2. I just woke up in my underwear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last night, Damon picked her up from a party at Whitmore.  
> Now it's time to put the puzzle pieces together and deal with the consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: I'm sorry this is so short! I want to poke the coals from the last chapter's slow burn and add a bit more oxygen to the fire, but I need to clear up some intricacies of their developing relationship first.

The air was thick and musty as Elena's heavy eyelids pried their way open. Cool, smooth marble was underneath her half-clothed body, and she could smell the stench of stale alcohol and smoke on her breath mixed with the comforting smell of freshly-brewed coffee. She realized she was on the kitchen island, and as the late morning sunlight burned her eyes, it became clear that she had been asleep there all night.

"Welcome back to the land of the living Elena." She turned onto her stomach to hide the majority of her body and lowered her head into her crossed arms, her chestnut locks acting as a curtain to hide her face.

"Damon, why am I on the counter. How did I get here." she groaned. He could sense the blood pooling in her cheeks before she even showed signs of the impending blush stretching its way across them. "... and uhm, where are my clothes?"

"Well the answer to the first question is simple. After our foray into  _midnight snacking_ , you were exhausted and fell asleep on the spot. I tried to move you, but you were insistent on staying exactly where you were. Now about the clothes…" He placed a cup of coffee onto the counter.

He ran his hand lightly down the curve of her spine, causing her to shiver. Goosebumps rose to attention on her skin, and he snickered in satisfaction at her response to his light touch. Unbeknownst to her, she had deep marks on her lower back where his hands gripped her up against the wall. He really hoped she would notice those later, and that her memory was clear enough to know they were from him. She let out a light, telling sigh , responding to the soft touch. She tried her best to hide it, but she secretly knew there was no way that Damon didn't notice.

He brushed her hair behind her ear and slid a finger underneath her chin, propping it up so that it was resting on her hands. Now that her head wasn't buried in her arms, she finally got a good look at Damon. He was shirtless, wearing just a pair of tight Calvin Klein boxer briefs. Maroon. The same color as her underwear. Damon had changed into them so that they would be matching- she was certain of that, since he was constantly finding tiny ways to mess with her. He caught her staring, basking in the attention he was getting.

"The top coming off? Well, that was me." The pride was oozing out of every syllable that rolled off of his tongue. "It was covered in your  _third_  helping of nutella and... a few drops of your blood. What can I say, I'm a sloppy feeder when I'm drunk" His fangs flicked out for a tiny second, and he licked the edge of them seductively, raising his eyebrows. Only an old vampire could have the control to bring out his inner monster so casually and quickly. Elena groaned in embarrassment. The shame of being a sloppy drunk, ruining a nice blouse and worse, letting Damon feed on her made her want to curl up in a ball and die.

"Now the skirt,  _that_  was all you. As much as I would love to torture you with a story of our passionate inebriated tryst, leaving a woman half-naked in my kitchen is not my style. I'm much more  _generous_  than that. The real story, unfortunately, is that you said you were too warm, and the second your skin hit the marble you stripped it off to try to get cooler. Now I don't know how much good that did, removing such a  _tiny_  piece of fabric, but I wasn't complaining." His hand hovered lightly over her underwear, opting to lightly snap the waistband as opposed to giving into his urge to grab a plump handful of ass. Nobody could argue about her choice of lingerie; a black lace bra and deep maroon boy shorts. Less revealing than a thong, they emphasized the curve of her hips, stretching over her slap-worth ass. Giving up on her bashfulness, she rolled over so she could begin to slowly get up, revealing her toned stomach that would bring any man or woman to their knees. Propping herself up on her elbow, she grabbed her cup of coffee with her free hand, taking a cathartic swig of warm, bitter coffee.

She swung around so that she was now sitting up cross-legged on the counter, Elena grabbed her head and groaned as she felt the hangover sink in. Every muscle in her lean body was sore. She felt like a vampire without a daylight ring as the sun stung her eyes. The coffee was helping, but her head felt like it had gone through a trash compactor.

"I'm never drinking again. It could never be worth this. Nothing could ever be worth this" She whined the same words every woman uttered the morning after a long, crazy night out. As much as he hated seeing her in pain, it was cute to see her be a normal 18 year old for once, regretting her bad decisions and reaping in the consequences. He couldn't help but think about how perfect it was to have Elena cross-legged on his counter, the perfect combination of adorable and fuckable.

"That's what they all say, sweetheart. Now I do have just the thing to really help that hangover."

He snatched the cup of coffee out of her hands and sauntered over to the liquor cabinet. He poured just a tiny bit of bourbon into the cup, passing it back to her gingerly.

"Back in my day, we called this trick 'hair of the dog'. Nobody knows if it really works, but it will definitely take the edge off. Elena slid off the counter onto a barstool and realized she had sat on something silky and soft.

"Oh I brought you down a robe, to you know, protect your  _modesty_ " The way that Damon smirked at her made Elena want to simultaneously throw her coffee in his face and fuck him right on the island. Scooting the black silk robe out from under her, she was surprised when she felt Damon's hands slip the sleeves over her arms. Reaching around her waist slowly and deliberately, he tied the belt of the robe, letting his hands linger there unmistakably longer than necessary. By her next blink he was back on the other side of the kitchen sliding a plate of sliced fruit and toast in front of her. Badass Damon Salvatore had made her breakfast. She could definitely use this as blackmail somehow.

"Now eat up champ, you have to put something in that empty stomach of yours before you start to feel the nausea kick in" She pouted and stabbed at the slices of pineapple with her fork.

"Thanks Damon, you really didn't have to do all of this for me, and… thanks again for getting me last night. I don't know what I would have done without you" Their eyes locked and he averted his gaze, trying to hide any softer emotions bubbling up toward the surface. He was breathtakingly gorgeous in the morning, leaning against the counter, cradling his own mug of coffee as he watched her eat.

"Don't mention it." He took a long sip of coffee, gazing out the garden window. Elena winced again and he could tell the hair of the dog trick wasn't helping this monumental hangover as much as he thought. She continued to pick at her breakfast quietly while he poured himself another cup. There was an unnerving intimacy in their comfortable silence. He couldn't take another second of this hangover anymore, giving into the idea he had been trying to ignore all morning.

"Elena, if I told you I could get rid of that hangover completely, would you want that? No matter how I did it?"

"If you're trying to tell me that orgasms take away headaches I'm  _not_  falling for that" She rolled her eyes at him and took a bite out of a juicy strawberry.

"Whoa whoa whoa. Get your pretty hungover doppelganger head out of the gutter. " He pulled a knife out of the knife block and sliced his hand. Leaning over to her coffee cup, he paused for a moment.

"Now, do you want to feel better or not" She paused for a second before meekly nodding her head. He squeezed his hand into a fist, letting a few drops of his blood drip into her mug.

"What trick is this Damon, 'hair of the vampire'?" She quipped as she sipped down the coffee cautiously.

"Elena that was absolutely awful, please leave the jokes to me. This is something I learned back in the day from… Katherine, when she would booze Stefan and I up at parties to have her way with us. It's the least I could do for you, since I fell for your  _peer pressure_  last night and let you keep drinking"

Taking another long sip, her head was already starting to clear, and the bite marks on her neck slowly sealed up.

"Is it okay if I use your shower? I can't go home looking like this, Jenna would kill me."

"Only if I can join" He snuck up behind her and lightly ran his fingers through her hair, his words lingering in her ears. The heat of his breath traveled from her neck down to her core, a molten hunger flaring to life. He slid away from her, leaving her body cut off from his touch. He knew she was trying to hide how she was feeling, but there was no hiding arousal from a vampire. He chuckled a little to himself. "Towels are in the bathroom closet. The shower is a bit complicated, but I'm sure you can figure it out. You can borrow one of my t shirts and a pair of sweatpants, unless you'd rather me sneak in your house and grab some clothes?"

"Thanks, I don't want to make you go out of your way." She paused as she finished her coffee and walked toward the stairs. Turning slowly toward him and linking eyes, words fell out of her mouth too quiet for any human ears to hear.

"And Damon, can we just forget about what happened last night."'

"Of course Elena, your secrets are safe with me."

Her feet lightly padded up the stairs, and soon the shower roared to life. He could hear her humming softly while she washed her hair, and his resolve completely broke. He rushed to her house, jumped into her window quietly and grabbed her leggings, a sweatshirt and a pair of cozy fur boots. Taking a selfish peak into her underwear drawer, he grabbed her soft black underwear and a tank top. In less than a minute he was back at the boarding house, laying out her clothes on his bed. He could hear the shower shut off, and he wanted so badly to stay in his room and watch the show, but he didn't want to risk continuing the behavior she so readily accepted last night ruining their friendship in the daylight.

Elena stepped out of the spacious stone shower and wrapped in a plush black cotton towel. She used Damon's comb and untangled the knots from last night. Her bite marks had healed, but there was still a faint shadow of a hickey under her collarbone that she couldn't remember receiving. She had no idea what had gotten into her, asking Damon to feed from her. It wasn't compulsion, and she couldn't blame it all on being drunk. So many memories were lost and fragmented from the wild night before, but she remembers every second of his fangs on her neck.

_It was utter euphoria, like being touched from the inside, passion running through every cell and desire flowing through every vein. It felt like the afterglow of an orgasm mixed with building want pooling between her thighs. Her hands wrapped around his neck, thighs linking around his waist as he turned to lift her off the counter and press her against a wall. He held her up, one hand grabbing her ass and the other grabbing her hair to stretch her neck, opening it further to him. His lips slid down her neck, letting a few drops of blood trickle out, his mouth paying attention to a spot below her collarbone. He kissed her there deeply, leaving a dark mark before moving back up so that their eyes were locked together and their foreheads were touching. His hand slid through her hair and traced down her body, from her shoulders to her stomach, finally stopping at her soft inner thigh. Their breath was heavy, each inhale matching a synchronized exhale. A quick glance down to his lips, and she closed the distance between them, pressing her lips eagerly to his mouth. Their tongues fought for dominance, and Elena moaned as she tasted her own blood in his kiss. Growling voracious with need, he turned his head back toward her neck, taking her again. Elena's senses were thoroughly overwhelmed, as he placed her carefully back on the cool marble counter, recognizing how spent she truly was._

Things were coming back to her in bits and pieces. Very sultry pieces. Just thinking about it again made her hand wander down, sliding underneath the towel. As much as she wanted release, she knew that She shouldn't want this, it was Damon after all. Not to mention he would be able to hear her every moan and every sigh from downstairs, so she took a deep breath, bottled the feelings up, and stepped into his cathedral-like bedroom.

A dark wood four-post bed stood resolute right in the center. Dim light flooded the room from an old chandelier, hung from the high, vaulted ceilings. Everything was just as dark and mysterious as Damon, right down to the artwork that she was sure had to be an original Van Gogh from his darker periods. To her surprise, the perfect outfit of cozy-clothes was laid out for her, even an elastic to tie back her hair. She slipped into her leggings and pulled on her sweatshirt, thankful that she was no longer naked on the counter.

Cinderella's coach had turned back into a pumpkin. The wild party girl had turned back into plain-Jane high schooler. As Elena descended the stairs, she was met to a flurry of clinking glasses and the smell of lemon cleaner.

"Problem- Stefan just pulled into the driveway. Cleaning up the evidence of your little afterparty."

She could hear him over the roar of the garbage disposal, but Stefan certainly couldn't. Here"

He flung a duffel bag at her. "Throw your clothes and your... shoe into this" Damon picked up his torn shirt from the ground and threw it into the trash. Now Stefan was close enough for even Elena to hear, as his classic car pulled into the garage. Last night had made Elena forget about her fight with Stefan. Damon toyed with the idea that his escapades with his brother's girl might have made her forget his name altogether.

For Damon, he at least could feign the excuse that he thought Stefan and Elena had broken up, but for Elena, she had to think of an excuse for being there- fast. Her mind could only think of a few options: Stay and pretend that she wanted to talk things over with Stefan, claim she had left something at the boarding house and came to get it back, or make up a story about Damon being an ass and her coming over to yell at him.

As Stefan walked into the door, glancing between his brother and his girlfriend, by good fortune he seemed genuinely confused as opposed to viciously suspicious.

"Elena, it's nice to see you here again. What has you here so early in the morning?"

"She stopped by looking for you,  _brother_ " Damon taunted, pouring himself his first glass of bourbon. "I guess somebody forgot to tell their girlfriend that they 'went out'. Oops, my bad, didn't mean to spill your secrets Stef." He flung himself back on the couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table. He noticed that some glitter from Elena's party makeup was smeared on the couch, so he pretended to fluff the pillow, turning it over to cover up the evidence.

Stefan walked slowly toward Elena, putting on his best sensitive face and combing his fingers through his coiffed hero hair, making it evident that he hadn't been off in the woods hunting bunnies. He had been somewhere where he gave a damn about his appearance. "Elena, I can explain. I know we've been fighting but-"

"But what Stefan. I walked all the way over here to see you, to talk about us," Damon was impressed with this detail. He almost forgot himself that her car wasn't here, but Elena pulled through with a seamless lie. He never thought that lying would be one of Elena Gilbert's most attractive looks.

"Instead  _Stefan,_  I have to wait around for you to roll in at noon after a night out that you tried to hide from me? You claim that you can't trust me, but this? How could I trust  _you_? Look I can't deal with this. I'm just going to go home"

Elena stormed toward the door, silently thanking herself for being in the school play sophomore year. The acting practice was finally coming in handy. As much as she was actually mad at Stefan, she didn't care enough right now to react so strongly. The door slammed so loudly behind her that Stefan swore he could hear the hundred-year-old wood splinter.


	3. Lying is the most fun a girl can have

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suffocating boyfriends can be challenging.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the The Vampire Diaries, the characters or the plots. If I did, Elena would definitely shake her ass more often.
> 
> Chapter song title credit: 'Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off' by Panic! At the Disco

Eight days. That's how many days in a row Stefan has showed up unannounced at Elena's house; sometimes multiple times a day. Without the daily excuse of school, he was getting creative. Bringing her coffee in the mornings, showing up outside her window at night, grabbing the seat next to her at the grill during her girls lunch with Bonnie. He was doing absolutely anything and everything to wiggle his way into her life. He was constantly apologizing, explaining, asking for forgiveness. It wore her down, and with every attempt she fought back less and less. Today, she was downright pleasant to him, and it seemed like they were falling back into their old routine. Things were still tense, but they were still together, and Elena couldn't help but feel trapped within the 'right' decision. She knew he still didn't trust her, but it was the right thing. Stefan was the good one right? With school starting in a few weeks, she would have to see him every day, staying together was the easiest choice; the safest choice.

She couldn't stop thinking about how free she felt that night with Damon. He let her be as wild as she wanted and didn't make her feel ashamed. Every time Stefan did something protective or caring, she thought about how good it would be to do something equally reckless. She asked Stefan if he would take her to a club, and he shot back with 'why don't we just dance at home, just you and me'. She wanted to scream. She could never ask Stefan give her the euphoria that could only come from feeding on her. He would only rip her head off, giving into his lack of self control. She felt like a china doll wrapped in 1000 layers of bubble wrap.

That's why Elena was currently at Whitmore, waiting to carpool to DC with some old Mystic Falls High Alumni. She lied and told Jenna she was going on a 'college visit'. The plan was to hitch a ride, grab a cheap hotel, and hit some clubs. Her fake ID would be her ticket into anywhere she wanted, and she'd be lying if she said she wasn't interested in how many free drinks she could schmooze guys into buying for her. She was carrying the duffel Damon had thrown her things into the morning after he picked her up. For some reason it gave her more courage to go out and do her own thing. It was filled to the brim with tight dresses, stockings, heels and makeup. She also threw in some hip crop tops and high waisted shorts, planning to hit up a concert while she was there.

The station wagon pulled around and Elena jumped in the back, putting her duffel between her legs. She put on her headphones and watched rural Virginia fly by. She dozed off for a tiny bit, and when she woke up, forests and fields were slowly being replaced with high-class suburban sprawl. Eventually she started to see the far-reaching commuter metro lines, a mixture of new and old trains looping over and under the highway. They were only an hour and a half from Mystic Falls, but she felt a million miles from home. As they crossed the bridge into the city, the Pentagon and Jefferson Memorial sprouted up on their left and right. Elena had them drop her off outside her hotel. Elena was grateful she had a debit card tied to her inheritance account that Jenna 'managed'. Jenna was unaware that she was the cosigner on the account, so Elena could spend as much as she wanted without her ever finding out. It was late afternoon, so she showered off the smell of college-kid-hot-boxed-car and got dressed up to go out. For tonight, she picked out a simple black dress. It hugged her curves, but was simple enough to not look too trashy. She wanted to be someone else- a confident and sexy Elena, not the girl who everyone felt like they needed to protect. She slipped on a pair of red heels, and followed a YouTube tutorial to do her makeup differently. She looked older, more vapid. Her hair was tousled and piecey, not her normal perfectly straight curtain of hair. Patting her lipstick with tissue, she stepped back to analyze the final product. She looked far less like Elena Gilbert, and much closer to Katherine Pierce. She would never go for the curls though, that's where she drew the line. Her vervain necklace didn't quite match the outfit, so she wrapped it around her bra strap and tucked it in close to her heart. She slung a small bag over her shoulder and made her way out into the night.

* * *

The line wrapped around the building. The air in this city was the consistency of thick soup, humid and swampy. Elena checked her phone, she had been waiting 15 minutes to get in, but things seemed to be moving along. When she was about 10 people away from the front, she dug through her bag, wanting to get her ID out ahead of time so she was prepared when she got to the front. It had been right in the middle pocket, she was sure of it. She was a few seconds away from dumping out the contents of her bag onto the sidewalk when she felt a shadow looming over her.

"Looking for this?" Damon stood in front of her, holding the forged ID between his fingers. He smirked and raised his eyebrows suggestively. "Birthday: January 12, 1988. I had no idea you were 22 Elena, happy belated birthday." She glared at him, clenching her jaw, her voice seething. "Yeah I know, I'm getting old. Maybe eventually I'll catch up to your  _145_ , unless you're sticking with 24 forever" Her slender arm snatched her fake out of his hands, and he laughed at how ferocious she was being. She reminded him of Katherine in that moment; her eyes narrowed and head cocked to the side.

"Well I'll see you inside… eventually. Damon Salvatore doesn't do lines. I might have let you hop to the front and skip the line with me, but that opportunity flew out the window when you decided to get all sassy. Enjoy the wait" He walked backward as he spoke, wiggling his fingers in a taunting wave. Eventually he turned around on the spot and headed for the front of the line. She would have questioned why he was there, maybe even called after him, but the sight of him walking away in tight black jeans left her a little bit distracted. He adjusted his leather jacket and combed his hands through his hair before confidently walking right to the velvet rope. He looked the bouncer right in the eye, and Elena couldn't tell if he was compelling him or if he was familiar with the wilder Salvatore brother.

Elena finally got into the club, the lights and music slightly overwhelming her. She had never been to a club before - they aren't exactly a common commodity in Mystic Falls. This place was huge. There were two levels and an expansive dance floor in the middle. The bar snaked around the outer parts of the room, bartenders busily running back and forth like bees bringing pollen to their queens. The energy buzzed through the hive, and the only thing that could make her comfortable was getting  _buzzed_  herself.

She couldn't see Damon. He was off on his own, upstairs in the back of the VIP section, a table full of beautiful people being boozed up and compelled. There was a voluptuous redhead, wearing a silver dress and heels that cost more than an average person's paycheck. A tall woman was to his right, with legs so long they barely fit in the circular booth; probably a blondes and a few gorgeous boys finished off the posse. He took turns kissing them, drinking from them and hitting back shots. It was an indulgent scene to strike envy in any man or second he smelled Elena enter the room however, he stood up and maneuvered his way down to the lower level. She was at the bar, ordering a simple rum and coke, trying to play it cool. He could see her pulse a mile away though, and her external composure couldn't hide her status as a true fish out of water from him. It was so tempting to sneak up to her at the bar, but he was more curious to see how she would act on her own first. She chatted to the guy next to her at the bar, a bit flirtatious until she realized he was gay. He could hear their conversation loud and clear, and the stylish man was encouraging her to get out of her shell and dance. He waved over the bartender to pour them a couple shots, and that was all the convincing she needed. He dragged her out on the dance floor with some words of encouragement, and then maneuvered away on his own, on the prowl.

It's amazing how a single vodka shot can change a human's behavior. Damon took a cue from Elena and ordered a rum and coke, sipping slowly as he watched her navigate the dance floor from his barstool. She saw a guy walking toward her, and she went for it right away, sliding her svelte body all over some sweaty stranger. It wasn't hard for her to keep finding new dance partners, switching around often. After a few songs, she went over to the bar with some fast friend, a girl with short blonde hair and mocha skin who convinced her to do a jager-bomb. She made her way back to dancing, this time by herself; confident and tipsy. Damon could sense how many eyes were on her, but she was oblivious. She was clearly feeling herself, and she knew she was hot, but there was no way that she could tell all the attention she was getting. The way she was moving her body, even just dancing alone, was a sin great enough to have her jailed back in the day. She tossed her hair, rolled her body and sang along with the music.

He couldn't resist anymore, putting down his glass and weaving through the pulsating crowd.

Elena felt a pair of hands slide around her waist, and didn't even turn around to see who was dancing with her. She could tell he was strong, and his groin was pressed firmly against her ass. She could tell that his body was rising to attention; her inner slut was eating this up. His hands ran over her shoulders and down her arms, causing her hot and sweaty body to shiver with want. His strong fingers gripped her hip bones as she swayed from side to side, the music transitioning into a hypnotic trance. Damon couldn't believe how nasty she was being with a stranger, not even knowing the face of the person indulging in every inch of her body. This was not typical Elena, this was the same girl who danced drunk on his counter at 3:00 AM in her underwear. He couldn't stand her not knowing it was him, not even for a second longer.

Suddenly those mysterious hands were whipping Elena around so that they could dance face to face. It was Damon. She was already so turned on that not a single doubt crossed her mind about how lewd their grinding was. Not a single thought about whether this choice was good or bad, this just was. This moment was exactly what she wanted, what both of them wanted. Their bodies were sliding together, moving in perfect synchronization. She wrapped one arm around his neck and pulled back just enough to run her hand from his firm chest all the way down to the waist of his jeans. His jacket was gone, and now he was just wearing a black, deep v-neck shirt, clinging to every muscle in his toned torso. She didn't notice her actions, but she licked her lips with desire. In her heels, she was close enough that he only had to lower his head a little to kiss her on the neck, sending a shock directly to her clit as she remembered how it felt for him to feed from her. He could feel her response and danced his tongue over the spot where he had taken from her before. She turned to whisper breathily in his ear.

" _Do it Damon."_

He was too drunk to resist. He kissed her neck deeply, cleverly hiding the fact that he was draining her blood during this lip-lock. Fangs pierced her lightly, a barely noticeable prick making her hitch her hips closer to him. Her moan was so loud that he was sure people around him could hear. He laughed to himself; he was incredibly proud of that. He licked his lips as he pulled away, cleaning up any trace of his snacking. He looked her right in the eye, taking stock of just how much pleasure was coursing through her veins, pleasure he had given her. She stared into his icy blue eyes, just a striking rim of color outlining dilated pupils. He looked ravenous, a sexy predator. Just a brief moment of eye contact, and their lips crashed together. She tasted her blood on his tongue; she had never felt so dangerous. She bit down on his lip- hard sucking some of his blood too. He barely even noticed until she ran her tongue along the edge as he quickly healed. They were gone. They did tequila shots, Damon licking salt off of her hand, putting shame to the demure hand kisses he used to give women back in 1864. They interlocked elbows as they turned up their shot glasses, equal parts best friend and lover, making Elena giggle at the familiarity behind the gesture. When she dragged them back to the dance floor, pulling Damon by the neck of his shirt, their hands were getting experimental, darting underneath skirts and into the waistbands of jeans. He grabbed her ass when they were facing, her tits when her ass was occupied grinding on his cock.

They were hungry for it, and before either of them registered what was happening, they were in a secluded hallway, fighting a war with tongues, hands grabbing, touching and tugging. He pulled her hair back- hard- and fed from her again, this time not even asking permission. He bit his own wrist in return and she grabbed his arm, eagerly drinking. She couldn't even describe how he tasted- the feeling of drinking from him overwhelmed any other possible senses. Blood pulled in her loins and she was full of want. He was unraveling, the feeling of being fed from was never this good for him. He saw stars as heat was building up within him, his pants growing uncomfortably tight. She pulled away, looking up through her thick eyelashes. She licked a lingering droplet of his blood from her lips, an action more vulgar than any pornography.

"You know Damon, that's not the only thing I want to suck"

_Fuck._


	4. Is this a hickey or a bruise?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hangover was a funny movie, but it wasn't funny at all when it was your life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the The Vampire Diaries, the characters or the plots. If I did, Elena would definitely be more sexually confident. I also don't own Katy Perry or her songs. She turned down coin for a gig once before it blew up, that wasn't smart.
> 
> Notes: See the end of the chapter for notes about Damon at this time frame.

If there is God, he was cruel. Elena was sure of this as she pried open one of her heavy eyelids to glance at the hotel clock. It was 7:00 am. The morning after a night out is easier for teens, but she remembers going crazier than any teen movie ever imagined. She woke up naked on top of the covers, her hair matted and reeking of the club. The club where she spent the night with Damon.  _Damon. Fuck._

Her mind suddenly was flooded with flashes of what happened last night. Trying to reconstruct a timeline, she started from the only thing that she was sure she remembered- being in line, Damon flaunting her ID in front of her.

_Wait. Why did he have it in the first place? Why hadn't I questioned that._

There was a kind friend at the bar, dragging her to dance. That wasn't scandalous at all. But she was completely unclothed in a hotel though.

_Wait. Was this the same hotel?_

Elena dragged her body up onto her arms, groggily sitting up. Thankfully, she was in the same, 2-star hotel room that she checked into the night before. Causes of her undress were now pointing to being too lazy to shower or put on pajamas. The odor of sweat, alcohol and smoke was starting to make her feel queasy, or maybe it was just the hangover, but she rushed to the bathroom just seconds before emptying the non-existent contents of her stomach into the toilet. Groaning, she sat back to collect her thoughts, deciding that she should take a shower to clear her head. She went over to her bag to grab her toiletries, but tripped on something soft and silky as she walked across the room. Examining the object which caused her downfall, she realized, horrified, that they were men's underwear. They looked an awful lot like the underwear she remembered seeing Damon wearing in his kitchen. She almost fainted.

The memories were having a hard time finding their way out of the blackout they were hidden by. She had to shower, she couldn't just sit here, dumbfounded and disgusting. Standing up to walk to the bathroom, she noticed some tell-tale marks on her body, circled in dried blood. Fangs had pierced her neck, her breast,  _her inner thigh._ Faint bruises were on her arms, and as she ran her hands over them, pressing slightly, she could only remember the pleasure she felt when they were made. Who made them, the situation they were in; these were all still a mystery. The hot water steamed up the small room, and the filth- the physical filth at least - flowed down the drain. It was so much worse not remembering. It gave her mind the liberties of entertaining scenarios that were downright crazy-  _naughty._  Things she would never do started to fly through her thoughts. She didn't end up with any 'eureka' moments in the shower, nothing profound came back to her. The only thing she could think of that could maybe help would be some fresh air, a stiff cup of coffee, and some quality time with her journal. She was suddenly very thankful that she had thrown a pair of jean shorts and a plain t-shirt into her bag, even more thankful that she packed a pair of converse. Missing from her duffel bag, however were sunglasses. She would just have to suffer.

A cute coffee shop was around the corner, the name  _Saxby's_  stretched over the front window in gold letters. It was now 8:30 am on a Saturday, and the city was either still asleep or dead. She was one of only two people in the cafe. At the counter, she ordered a cappuccino and a cinnamon bun, waiting at a quiet corner table for the barista to bring it over. With a clink of a plate on the table, the smell of hot coffee and warm cinnamon overwhelmed her senses.

_Dancing with him completely overwhelmed her senses. Every touch, breath and bead of sweat felt like standing too close to a flame. She was playing with fire. Her hips hitched as he drank from her, the ecstasy stronger than any drug, making their bodies ignite. She never knew she could be as bad as him. They went out into an alley. Limbs were intertwined. She drank from him, her body shuddering. Everything was cloudy, their fire making smoke. She was on her knees taking him in her-_

Elena audibly gasped as she remembered these fragments. Her heart began to race, and not from the coffee. She took a deep breath, cupping mug of milk foam and espresso, and drank very slowly.

_Very slowly, like the way she ran her tongue over the head of his dick, his legs wavering a bit as he slumped back on the wall._

Things were definitely starting to come back, and she was hoping that they wouldn't. Not here at least. Shaking her head, she opened her journal, wanting to at least chronicle her shame to let her mind try to digest all of this.

' _Dear Diary,_

_Why can't I remember how I got back. That is the detail that matters most to me, and it is just a blank space in my brain. The tequila shots I hit back with Damon are at least partially to blame for that. They are also probably partially to blame for hurling this morning. Since I remember being with him at the club, and…. outside the club, it would seem like I probably continued to… be with him the rest of the night. The things that I remember doing to him, and worse, the way I remember them making me feel, have my entire body confused._

_I would say that I don't know what got into me, but there is no denying that he's hot. I was drunk, he was drunk, we were high on blood. I don't know why I keep letting him drink from me. That is a lie. It feels freaking amazing, better than sex. Stefan is a ripper, he could never give me that. At least, not without killing me. I cheated on Stefan, at least I remember enough to know that. I don't know if I had sex with Damon, but sharing blood and… sucking his dick, those definitely count as cheating. I'm too hungover to try to find a way to tell him. I'm just so ashamed. I want to ask Damon what happened, how I got home, if I went home with him, but I know he would only rub it in my face._

_I'm playing his game now, and he's much better at it than I am. He has been boozing and sexing his way through the last 145 years, and I'm a fool if I think I can keep up with him.'_

She paused, twirling her hair around her pen, staring out the window. Her head was swimming, and journaling had only made her feel worse. It made it even more surreal. She buried her head in her hands.

"Elena, what a coincidence. I didn't know you were in D.C" He feigned surprise, dragging out the chair from the other side of the table, unfolding a copy of  _The Washington Post._ She tensed up, not ready to face him after last night. Damon was not going to miss out on her awkward morning, and he was going to try to see just how much she remembers.

"Ha. Ha. Damon, very funny. We might have drank a lot, but I remember hanging out with you"

"Ok all-remembering oracle. Well do you remember how you were dancing with _who you thought_ was a complete stranger? I mean it was me but, you didn't know that did you" He didn't break his eyes away from the paper, only raising his eyebrows in a small taunt. She remembered that, unfortunately. Elena swallowed timidly, trying to fake composure.

"Yes Damon, I remember that just like I remember the tequila shots"

"Do you remember the other things we drank together then?" He looked up just long enough to do that terrible thing again, quickly flashing his fangs and winking at her. Drawing his attention back to the paper, he tried not to think about how she didn't even bother to cover the bite marks on her neck. She had showered, so there was no way to miss them. He remembered being human, the warm water of a bath burning the places where Katherine had taken her fill from him. Elena was wearing other makeup, clearly trying to conceal the dark bags under her eyes. That means she had makeup, used it, and still chose not to cover the bite marks…. Or the hickies. Was she…  _proud_ … of them? The thought drove him wild. 

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to remember the pure, orgasmic feeling of sharing each other's blood while sitting here in a cafe, in public. Opening them with a heavy sigh she lightly blushed.

"Yes… loud and clear." He could watch her get flustered like this all day. It's not that he wasn't as drunk as she was last night- he was completely trashed. Vampires didn't forget though. Every memory was seared into his undead mind. It was so human, watching her try to dig through the night before, fighting with the fact that she was trashed enough to completely black out. He wasn't going to spill the beans just yet on the parts she definitely didn't remember - like getting back to her hotel room. He wanted to watch her flail. He also really wanted to know if she remembered a few choice actions.

"It's funny Elena, I can tell you threw up this morning, you know, vampire nose and all, but last night it didn't seem like you had much of a gag reflex" He stared her directly in the eyes. He wasn't laughing, his face was serious. He was a predator, and she was under attack. Her heart was pounding, but not with surprise. She remembered.

Elena was struggling for words, feeling flustered and vulnerable. She wanted to fire back with something snarky, save some face, but it felt like she had something stuck in her throat.  _Like Damon's huge dick shoved down your throat._  It was a good thing Damon wasn't a mind reader. He could sense that she was aroused though, underneath her blushing, pretend-innocent exterior. He knew she would come around soon, realizing that she wanted him just as much in the daylight, that her Jekyll and Hyde were the same person.

"So do you remember what happened  _after_  the alley?" She meekly shook her head. She was preparing for the worst.

"Well, you couldn't wait another second, so I threw us into a cab. Vampire or not, carrying a very drunk girl while also very drunk is not a cakewalk" This part was true. "We got back to your hotel, and stumbled into the elevator. You, miss hussy," he was now leaning in, almost whispering "slammed me so hard against the side of the elevator that it left a dent in the metal. Somehow in the brief journey from the 1st to 4th floor, we made out enough for you to start unbuttoning my shirt for the second time last night" Also true. "We got into your room, and everything else came off…."

"Well, that would explain your underwear I found on the floor" Elena crossed her arms, throwing her head down on the table. She mumbled into the table.

"Damon just spit it out… did we….."

"It was passionate, hard, fast. You started right where you left off in the alley." He dipped his finger in her cappuccino foam, licking it off suggestively. He was lying through his perfect, fanged teeth. "You were screaming so loud, the hotel called up saying that someone put in a noise complaint" He could hear the blood rushing to her cheeks, making him jealous he didn't have a  _breakfast_  of his own. "I accidentally punched a wall in the room, slamming myself into you, but thankfully I'm strong enough to move the bed to hide it. You were incredibly surprised by the other things I could do with my strength by the way" She groaned in complete embarrassment.

_Is that where my bruises came from? Did we have rough, crazy sex where I asked him to hold me down? The bed wasn't messy, how could the sex be that crazy on a still perfectly-made bed … but with his strength they probably fucked against the wall right? Oh god. No. I told him I liked getting fucked from behind didn't I? Did I fuck Damon Salvatore on the floor of a cheap hotel? But wait, no, I don't have any rugburn… I can't believe that I did this. How am I going to tell Caroline and Bonnie. I'm just going to have to move, find new friends, find some new vampires to fight over me. There's no way Damon won't tell EVERYONE what I did. I'm totally fucked, because I got fucked up….. And well…. fucked_

This was torture for Elena. Her pulse was racing and her stomach churned with a mixture of shame and hangover nausea. The only details she had to piece the story together were that she woke up naked, Damon's underwear were in the room, and she had hickies. That left a lot up for the imagination, and Damon's imagination loved that. He wished he knew exactly what was running through her head, that Elena Gilbert was vapid enough to list the possibilities of how she last night went down. That would never happen, so he got his kicks by tying her panties in a knot, torturing her by forcing those dirty thoughts into her head. Right now, she was visibly squirming. Planning his revenge from the second she fell asleep left the underwear there on purpose, just to mess with her. He knew she wouldn't remember anything, and he knew that it would start her mind reeling from the second she woke up.

"Calm down Elena, I was just kidding. Wanted to see you  _sweat_." He knew his voice was dripping sex right now, he wanted her to keep thinking about what she missed out on. "It is true, you did kiss me in the elevator, but you are nowhere strong enough to dent anything. We got you up to the room and you stripped out of all of your clothes, saying you wanted to have a 'naked pillow fight' " She scowled at him, clearly thinking he was lying. "I could not make this stuff up Elena, it was like a drunken middle schooler. You tried to rip the pillows open because you wanted to 'make the feathers fly like Bonnie did' I don't know what that means, but again, why would I bother to make up something so stupid?" He was right, Elena hated it. "Now you had other intentions, being naked and all, but I wasn't going to take you like that. Vampires digest alcohol faster, I was already starting to sober up. I might be a vampire, but I'm no monster. You passed out a few seconds after I denied you, and I fed you just a little of my blood to make sure you didn't die of alcohol poisoning."

Elena never thought Damon Salvatore would turn down sex. She especially didn't think that he would worry about her like that.

"Speaking of things you don't remember, have you realized yet that you're missing your phone?"

He whipped her phone out of his pocket, sliding it across the table. "Don't know how you were planning to get home without that, to call up your little college friends." Relief flashed across Elena's face. She tried to turn it on, but it was completely dead.

"Thank you so much Damon. Not just for my phone but… for making sure I got back okay." She smiled just a little at him, and he felt his Grinch's heart get a quarter size bigger.

"Now speaking of getting you home, do you want to hitch a ride back with me to Mystic Falls? Unless you have more  _wild_  plans for tonight dancing queen" He couldn't resist that joke. She was ' _young and sweet, only 17'_  after all. He reminded himself to make at least 10 more jokes about that song before her 18th birthday.

Soon they were speeding around the curves of the back roads, top down and music blaring. Damon didn't mention anything else from last night, satisfied in the amount of torture he had already dished out. He wanted to let her stew in her own juices, both metaphorically and literally, since her head was probably still stuck deep in the gutter he sent it down. The hour and a half drive to Mystic Falls was lengthened by a full hour by avoiding all the highways, but an extra hour would do nothing to help Elena get herself back together. ' _He probably just took the mountain route to watch me suffer longer'_ she thought, pouting out the window. She felt like her life was as much of a joke as having the windows up in a convertible, sighing and rolling down the manual window. A new rush of air flowed into the car. Each mile they traveled was one mile closer to explaining to Jenna why the 'college visit' ended early, one mile closer to the boring life in Mystic Falls, one mile closer to someone spotting Damon driving her home, and one mile closer to the brooding, overbearing boyfriend that she cheated on. The boyfriend she claimed to love, but cheated on- with his own brother. Damon probably should have cared about what he had to go home to as well. Stefan would be able to smell the booze and blood on him of course, but he would be able to smell Elena right away. He could take 10 showers and a vampire could smell her on him, not to mention it would be obvious to Stefan that Elena was in his car. Damon was getting softer, but he couldn't quite bother to be too worried about _judgy_ Stefan. He would leave that worrying to Elena.

Damon looked over at her, and even though she was a miserable, hungover and mortified mess, she was still a sight to be seen. The wind was in her dark chocolate locks, tied back into a ponytail, and her long, olive-skinned legs were soaking up the midday sun. Her converse were up on the dashboard, and her face grew softer as she fell into a nap, giving in to her emotional and physical exhaustion. Honeysuckle and willow trees blurred by, the intoxicating summer scent must have lulled Elena to sleep. She did only get four hours of sleep after all. She was only human.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damon is much less emotionally vulnerable in this time frame than we are used to seeing him. He's still clinging to his 'bad boy' image, still reckless after finding how Katherine played him. He has feelings for Elena, but he's much more interested right now in playing with her, just like she's letting herself play with him. They're both taking advantage of each other, which levels the playing field a bit more than in the show.
> 
> Next chapter, Elena pieces a few things together, and deals with some telling pictures she finds on her phone, after she charges it of course ;)


	5. Jealousy, turning saints into the sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stefan has much more to brood about than he normally does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the vampire diaries, either Salvatore Brother, and I've never even gotten a parking ticket from Sheriff Matt Donovan. I also don't own the Killers, or the joy that is Mr. Brightside.
> 
> Notes: Welcome to the story, Stefan! The brooding vampire that we both love and hate is getting pretty suspicious, and soon we will get to see Bonnie Bennett as she gets wrapped into this plot of rebellion, jealousy and lots of terrible party music. We're unfortunately going to get a pretty heavy vacation from Damon- don't worry, he'll be back soon, he has a bunch of his own brooding to do. Also, there is a tiny bit of dubious prescription drug use, and I want to clarify that I think it is a terrible idea to do this and I don't advocate it at all. Also, apologies that this chapter is very PG-13, not every chapter can be sultry tension!

Disclaimer: I don't own the vampire diaries, either Salvatore Brother, and I've never even gotten a parking ticket from Sheriff Matt Donovan. I also don't own the Killers, or the joy that is Mr. Brightside.

Notes: Welcome to the story, Stefan! The brooding vampire that we both love and hate is getting pretty suspicious, and soon we will get to see Bonnie Bennett as she gets wrapped into this plot of rebellion, jealousy and lots of terrible party music. We're unfortunately going to get a pretty heavy vacation from Damon- don't worry, he'll be back soon, he has a bunch of his own brooding to do. Also, there is a tiny bit of dubious prescription drug use, and I want to clarify that I think it is a terrible idea to do this and I don't advocate it at all. Also, apologies that this chapter is very PG-13, not every chapter can be sultry tension!

* * *

Stefan

_Dear Diary-_

_Elena is not herself. Everyday, I try to find a way to talk to her, and every day she is distant, avoidant. Ever since I went out to the lake that night without telling her, she looks at me like I am a liar, a cheat. Every text message goes unanswered, and I've left so many voicemails that her inbox is full. I wish that she would just listen, so that I could tell her the truth - the truth that Damon would taunt me for endlessly._

_I had been at the lake near the family plantation, now decaying to absolute ruin. One of the only things left somewhat recognizable is the crumbling bench that used to be at the end of mother's rose garden. I was so young when she died that I never got to know her, but sometimes I go there to talk through my feelings that I think a mother would know how to handle. I needed to talk through the feelings I have been having about Damon's influence on Elena. The other day when she defended him for killing an innocent human, just because he found out our vampire secret, made me see nothing in her eyes but Katherine-like survivalist tactics. Elena does not have that calculating evil inside of her- I know it. She is sweet, kind, and gentle. If I can just get her to hear me out, then she will understand._

_I know I have spent 145 years constantly fighting neck-and-neck with my brother, but I thought that once we realized Katherine lied about being in the tomb, that would be the end of our jealous feud. This time, however, I am the one initiating it. It has to be Damon's influence on Elena making her this way. She is young, and the rebellion behind most of Damon's actions has to be tempting to her- all teenagers want to rebel. Messing with life and death, this is not an area to rebel. She has been through so much, and in a vulnerable state, it can be easier to grow angry and rationalize evil. Unfortunately, Damon's terrible behavior is giving her the perfect example of how to incorrectly deal with trauma and put yourself before others._

_I had jumped into Elena's window last night to wait for her to come home, but she never arrived. I could smell smoke and alcohol on some of her clothes in her hamper. After living with a boozing, whoring brother for all this time, the smells of a party are unmistakable. I could feel my veins pop out of my face in anger, I wanted to punch a hole in the wall. Was she at another party? Without me? No, that was ridiculous, that's not Elena. I panicked, running into Jenna's room and compelling her to ask where Elena was. She said Elena was on a college visit. Why wouldn't Elena involve me in her college plans? I want to be with her forever, and I'll move wherever she wants so that she can study- I'll even study with her too like I'm doing for high school. All of this is to keep her safe- keep my Elena safe._

_-Stefan_

Stefan closed his diary and stood up from his window seat. The dust in his room caught the light flooding in through the rafter window. He felt a bit like Quasimodo- a strange vampire who couldn't drink blood- a freak of nature- stuck up in an attic, wondering why he was so left out. Furrowing his brow and dismissing his ridiculous brooding allusion, he decided to go downstairs and hunt. He stopped when he heard the rumble of the Camaro's engine approach the house. He could hear Damon hop out of the car, and for a second he considered rushing out of the house at vampire speed before his brother got into the house. He couldn't stoop down to Damon's level though. Maybe if he spent more time with Damon, he could be a positive influence on his behaviour, therefore eliminating his bad influence on Elena.

"Hello, brother!" Stefan shouted across the living room. "Did you have a good night out to…"

"Hello to you too  _Steffy"_  Damon was already suspicious of Stefan's enthusiasm. "And I was in D.C if that answers question #1 of what I assume will be  _20 judgy questions_." Damon deadpanned as he made a beeline toward the liquor cabinet. He poured himself a glass of bourbon and hopped onto the couch. Stefan never understood why Damon, human or vampire version, felt the need to consume so much alcohol. He wasn't a drunk, by some miracle, but it was almost like the glass was an extension of his arm.

 _Here we have it, exhibit one of Damon's bad influence on Elena- his constant drinking._ Stefan made a mental note of this to bring up in arguments, interventions, or discussions later.

"D.C, I haven't been to that city since the 1990's. Were you snacking on congressmen or did you have actual plans?"

"I went  _out_ Stefan, you should understand that" Now Damon was taunting him about this too. One night out without an explanation, and suddenly Stefan's girlfriend and brother were both on his case.

"If you are going to torment me for one night out when you are constantly drinking, drugging and fucking your way across the United States-"

"Whoa whoa whoa, calm down. Defensive much Stefan?" Damon raised his hands up in mock surrender. "If you  _really_  must know, I was at a club. I hung out with some friends, danced, met a girl, had some  _snacks_. She was  _very_  delicious. For me, an incredibly tame night. Does this description satisfy you Stefan?"

Stefan couldn't argue, Damon had done much worse, but there was something still bothering him.

"One last question Damon, and I will leave you and your bottle of bourbon to have some quality time." Damon raised an eyebrow. Stefan furrowed his brow. "Do you know where Elena was last night? I went to her house to see her and she wasn't there. Jenna said she was on some kind of college visit?"

"Let me go grab her planner- oh shit I'm sorry, I forgot! I don't keep track of 17 year old girls' schedules. The pep rallies, the exams, the keg parties- way too much for me to juggle."

"Damon this isn't funny I'm really worrie-"

"Stefan. I don't know how to help you here. Jenna gave you an answer. If you don't like it, go bother little miss hocus-pocus. That was your one last question. Me- booze. You- go" He gestured to his glass decanter, giving it a joking kiss. "We would like our privacy" he winked just to make Stefan uncomfortable.

That settled it. Stefan grabbed his keys and started off toward Bonnie's house. He had to figure out what was wrong with Elena.

* * *

Elena

After Damon had dropped Elena off, she prepared herself to give Jenna her well-rehearsed excuse. ' _Hey aunt Jenna. The college visit was actually a different weekend, I got the dates mixed up. I stayed at the campus with a friend who went to mystic falls and then hitched a ride home.'_ She hoped it seemed believable. When she unlocked the door and walked inside though, she realized that no explanation would be necessary. There was a note on the kitchen counter.

_Elena, Jeremy-_

_Working on my thesis at the library, then staying with Alaric. Will be home Sunday. Figured I'd leave you two a note in case one of you is actually home for once…._

_-Aunt J_

Elena sighed with relief, happy she wouldn't have to deal with questions about the college or sit through a 'family dinner'. She trudged upstairs and threw her bag on the bed. First order of business, charge her phone. With he phone plugged in next to her bed, she picked her grimy club clothes out of her bag and added them to the overflowing hamper. Carrying the hamper on her hip, she walked down the hall to the laundry room. Technically, the clothes should be sorted by color, but realistically, Elena didn't have the energy to care. Each piece of clothing was thrown into the hamper, and she cringed when she realized her Whitmore frat party/Salvatore after party clothes hadn't been washed yet. With the last of the clothes loaded, she peeled off her skinny jeans and t shirt, sliding off her underwear and unhooking her bra. Nobody was home, so she could walk back to her room naked without being bothered. This type of solitude was surprisingly liberating. She poured the soap into the machine and pressed the button to start the wash, water beginning to fill the tub to wash the shame off her clothes.

Languidly, Elena walked into her room, purposefully avoiding her mirror. She didn't want any more reminders of the marks she already knew were covering her body. She opened the bathroom cabinet and grabbed two little pills. Xanax. The panic of how she had behaved last night- and who she behaved that trashy with- was starting to sink in, and she figured she should probably catch it before it flew into a full-blown panic attack. She hadn't really had a panic attack since a few months after her parents died, but she had a few pills left over from the prescription. This, combined with washing off the remainder of her guilt-filth might finally make her feel like herself again.

Usually, Elena was more of a shower person, but after the night she had, she figured a little self-care might be healthy. Pulling the plug for the tub, she let the hot water fill up the basin. The fragrant bubbles rose up slightly over the edge of the bath- she had been a bit too generous with the soap. Elena lowered her tired, sore body into the bath and let her mind completely zone out. Her muscles relaxed with the warmth of the water, her fingertips and toes turning into tiny raisins. She stayed this way for at least half an hour, until the water in the tub began to feel lukewarm. Wrapping herself a plush blue robe, she drained the tub and went to check on her phone. It was at 40 percent battery, so she turned it on to see what messages she had missed this morning- or last night. The last time she looked at her phone was the lowest priority of things she needed to remember. The startup animation faded and her home screen loaded. She clicked on her texts. There were a few messages from Caroline and Bonnie, one from Jenna that was just a copy of her note from downstairs, and…. 45 from Stefan. The messages started out normal, but turned paranoid, jealous, accusatory. The last few were apologetic. There were short messages, and long prosaic paragraphs. She selected the whole conversation and deleted all the messages. Her voice inbox was full, no surprise, all calls from Stefan. He had never been this suffocating before, had he?

She clicked the side button to lock her phone and flopped down on the bed, accepting the fact that she would have to deal with Stefan soon, but choosing to ignore it for as long as possible.

_-buzz-_

A notification popped up on her phone showing she got a message from Bonnie. Turning over to grab her phone, she was completely unsurprised that Damon changed the lock screen photo to a picture of himself.  _Probably as payback for getting my phone back for me._ She swiped her lock pattern on the screen to read the message.

_Elena- Stefan just showed up at my door, asking a ton of questions about where you were last night, how you've been acting lately. I'm stalling him, but is there anything you need to tell me?_

_-buzz-_

_You should tell me first so I can cover for you._

_-buzz-_

_What was your cover story for last night?_

Unable to avoid the problem any longer, Elena sent Bonnie back a response.

_College visit, Washington DC._

Elena didn't elaborate to Bonnie whether or not this was her cover story or the truth. She didn't want Stefan reading over Bonnie's shoulder or able to sense that she was lying. Plus, Elena was trying to escape her reality in Mystic Falls, both the bad and the good. Hitting the send button, she was about to throw her phone across the room, until it dawned on her- Damon took a picture of himself on her phone, that's how he made it her lock screen. The lump in her throat was back as she dreaded checking if there were any more photos. Cautiously, she tapped on her pictures folder.

There was the photo that was her lock screen- Damon making a sexy smirk, looking directly into the camera with his cobalt eyes. That must have been the last picture he took before giving her the phone back, as it looked like it had been taken in the morning. Before that, obviously at the end of the night, was a picture of her passed out on top of the sheets, a pen poised over her face as Damon pretended to draw a moustache on her. Going back before that, most of the pictures were terrible quality, taken in the dark of the club. There was a photo of her knocking back a shot, a photo of her grinding on some girl on the dance floor- just a taste of the series of pictures showing Elena embarrassing herself. Then there were the selfies. There were joking kissy faces, peace signs, even the vulgar pussy-eating 'v'. It seemed like she was the one to take all the pictures, even snapping one of Damon latched onto her neck. As much as she wanted to cringe, she couldn't help but notice how much fun they seemed to have been having, and how deliciously hot they looked together. She noticed that at some point, her lipstick was replaced by blood-stained lips, probably from Damon's blood. Thinking about his blood, how high it made her feel, she felt her soul swell with unwelcome desire. A flush made its way to her cheeks, and heat radiated through her core. Her breathing hitched, but she caught herself. She wouldn't let herself feel that way, not now, not while she was piecing together the fragments of last night. Burying the desire away, she finished looking at the catalog of her adventures.

The last pictures were from when both of them looked much more sober. One of them must have asked a stranger to take a picture of them together, since their entire bodies were in the photo. They stood, half-facing, their arms wrapped around each other's lower backs. Elena's other hand was on Damon's chest, and they were looking at each other, very seriously and seductively. They looked like the type of sultry models you only see in perfume ads. Dripping with sex, obviously vapid. Their dark clothes clung to their toned figures, showcasing each curve and muscle. Every person in the club had been jealous, not that Elena noticed. The severity of the pose must have been a ruse however, because the photo before it was them in a similar pose, but their faces were stretched with laughter, clearly struggling to feign seriousness. Damon's arm was wrapped around her tighter, keeping her laughter from knocking her off her stiletto heels. The hand that was on his chest in the other photo was pressed against the side of his face, probably from her slapping away some crude statement.

That's when it hit her.

She hadn't seen a picture of her laughing like that since before the accident.

Whether it was Damon or the partying, either way, she was fucked.


	6. Swear to shake it up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter notes: Spoilers, this may come off as a bit Stelena for a bit- don't worry. Remember, this story is mostly about Elena figuring herself out, so you know how things will play out in the end anyway ;)
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, and I also don't own the discography of Panic! At the Disco. If I owned both, I would have no fewer than 7 episodes where the characters just dancing and slowly removing their clothes.
> 
> Chapter Title Song Credit: 'The only difference between martyrdom and suicide is press coverage' Panic! At the Disco

 

* * *

_Damon_

Water was settling on top of the bourbon where the ice had melted. For reasons he couldn't explain, Damon had a sense of unrest and angst. Usually he would be completely fine spending time alone at a bar, nursing a drink, but he couldn't place what was disturbing his routine tonight. He threw an Alexander Hamilton down on the aged, stained wood bar of the grill and threw his leather jacket over his shoulder. The heat didn't bother him, it actually made his cold vampire body feel more human, but it seems suspicious to wear a jacket when it's still 80 degrees out. Plus, it looked incredibly badass slung over his shoulder. The black Ray-Bans just made the look just a little too overtly James Dean, but there were worse people to emulate in Damon's book. He smirked to himself, knowing he was probably the hottest thing Mystic Falls had ever seen.

For once, he drove to the grill instead of walking. Stefan had left him alone for a while, out on some adventure with the Salem Senior, but Damon was in no mood to run into him later, leaving before Stefan returned. The restless didn't stay behind on the barstool, and as the engine roared to life, Damon found his foot eager to press on the gas pedal, jetting the car far away from this cursed, central-Virginia town. Damon was a man of impulse, who always gave in to even the slightest urge of spontaneity. With all the supernatural drama that continued to unfold, and with Elena constantly weaving her way right into the middle of it all, a sense of responsibility came dangerously close to compromising Damon's 'every man for himself' image. Caring this much about other people could be extremely exhausting. There was a place for honor, a place for hero hair, but today wasn't that day. Today, Damon was going to drive as far as he wanted, go wherever he wanted, do whatever he wanted and drink whoever he wanted. It was bad enough that he constantly was dealing with Elena's problems in the daylight, but he was getting sick and tired of her suddenly dominating his midnight antics. He couldn't blame himself for giving in to her, for flirting with her. She was drop-dead gorgeous, and quite a bit of fun when she gave up the damsel in distress trope. What vampire could turn down that eager of a feed, especially when the girl was that hot.

Drinking from the same person, over and over, when the vampire has underlying feelings for the victim is a dangerous game. Vampires get away with human juice-boxes so long as they are strictly using them. The second any emotion seeps in, any feelings start to emerge, the daily dose of blood forms a direct line from the vampire to the human, like a reverse sire bond. Humans drinking vampire blood usually didn't quite go the same way. Yes, the blood made them high, but it wasn't as sensual or emotional as when vampires drink each other's blood. There was also an unsurprising lack of documentation on human-vampire blood sharing. Damon felt completely ridiculous, jonesing for Elena's blood like a fucking addict. With every mile that passed, he started to feel the pull to her get weaker and weaker, until he finally felt like himself again. Cruising up I-95, his eyes caught glimpse of the sign "New York: 350 miles".

A few mile markers later, Damon's phone rang, snapping him out of his introspective bloodlust. It was Stefan.

"Hello  _brother._  Have fun playing 'light as a feather, stiff as a board'? Or did you and Bon-bon bust out the ouija board this time?"

"Damon this is serious, it's about Elena" Of course it was about Elena. The severity of Stefan's tone was completely killing Damon's rebellious buzz.

"I am in no mood for your  _Degrassi_  drama today. Can't you teens just handle your own little problems? What happened, she said no to the homecoming dance? You didn't make the football team this year? "

"I'm just going to ignore you because I know you care about her too. Bonnie said that it didn't seem like anything was supernaturally wrong with Elena. She did a few spells to gather information, and from what she could glean, it seems like Elena is not under the influence of compulsion, but she did have a bit of vampire blood in her system-"

"Yep when she was at the house the other day she accidentally cut her hand. I gave her some blood so that she wasn't profusely bleeding when her  _ripper_  boyfriend came barging in the door, veins protruding and fangs raring to go." Damon was pretty proud of himself. That lie was just the perfect move in this game of jealousy chess. Stefan would be livid that Damon gave Elena blood, under any circumstances that weren't a complete emergency, but reminding Stefan of his ripper guilt gave him one more reason to suspect that Elena didn't want him.

"So I asked Bonnie for some more info about where Elena might be going, and why her clothes smell like alcohol and smoke, but Bonnie wouldn't give me anything. Elena still won't talk to me, so I'm just at a loss. If she's drinking, why wouldn't she want me with her?"

"Gee Stef, she won't talk to you, and she's not asking you to go out to parties with her. How could those two things ever be related?"

"Damon-"

"Look, maybe she has finally grown wise to how boring you are. Young girl like that isn't going to sit and brood forever like you. Now, are we done here because I have a long way to go and a bunch of classic rock calling my name on my stereo. "

"Where are you going?"

"First Elena, now me? Your stalker fascination is starting to sound downright helicopter mom. Bye brother"

Damon hung up, thankful to finally have that annoying conversation end. Stefan seemed to be completely clueless to who Elena was partying with, or the blood sharing that ensued. Damon was hell-bent on giving Stefan nothing more to be suspicious of though, and he was going to see that he drank, danced and fed, not returning to Mystic Falls until he forgot how Elena's blood tasted.

* * *

_Elena_

_Dear Diary,_

_If vampires could be compelled, I would think that someone had compelled Stefan. Today, as some form of white flag, he asked me if I wanted to party with him. Stefan, at least the Stefan I know, doesn't party. I know Lexi had told me that he was different in the past, something about jumping naked into the Trevi fountain, but I had honestly thought she was just trying to convince me that he wasn't lame. Stefan made me feel safe, and before I was completely happy having him watch over me as I cowered in fear in Mystic Falls. But I'm not as scared anymore. I'm not the same sad girl that I was when I met Stefan._

_I'm going to give him another chance though. Stefan has lived for over a hundred years, so there have to be sides of him I haven't seen. I will dress up, smile, and just have fun. I need to let Stefan know what I want so that I can see if he can give me that. If he wants to party, I'll show him how I can party. I know he judges me when I drink too much, or when I dance too slutty. I know that he thinks it's reckless, and when I'm reckless he compares me to Damon._

_I told Bonnie and Caroline that I've been out partying recently, so that's probably how Stefan deduced that I would give in to party plans. Caroline couldn't keep a secret if the universe depended on it. Luckily, I hadn't told them about Damon- about the afterparty at the Salvatore boarding house, the blurry, bass-filled night in a club, the making out, the blood. I know that I have been having doubts about my relationship with Stefan, but this will at least give me the chance to get Damon out of my head._

_I let things go too far, and I think that the blood high made me a bit crazy. I keep thinking about it, but I know that I shouldn't. The thoughts of our mouths, covered in blood, searching for purchase on salty skin. I never felt so dangerous, so alive, but I know that it's wrong. I can't blame it on Damon, even if for him all this behavior is normal. I feel so restless. I want to escape this role that I play in Klaus' curse, the role I play as the doppelganger, the role I play as the girl whose parents died. I'm just 17, and with everyone telling me who I am, I can't decide for myself. I deserve to have fun and explore myself. There's a hunger in me that isn't getting what it wants, I just don't know how to feed it._

_I used to be so much fun. Maybe somehow, tonight with Stefan will help me along._

Elena closed her journal. She was sitting on her window seat wrapped in a towel, still damp after a shower. Stefan was going to pick her up at 8:30, and it was already 8, so she needed to start getting ready. Unwrapping her towel, she ruffled it through her hair before hanging it on a hook. She grabbed her comb, dragging it through her hair as she stared at her open closet. Usually, for a date with Stefan she would go with something demure and cute, like a sundress. Her hand was resting on the hanger of a light yellow polka-dot cotton dress, but it didn't feel right. If Stefan wanted to party with her, then she needed to show him exactly how she was. She needed to see if he could accept it. Pushing her clothes to the side, she grabbed a stretchy, dark green strapless dress from the back of the closet. All of her tight, short and otherwise vapid clothes hid in the back of the closet, reflecting how her wild and reckless side was usually buried behind sad, responsible, damsel-in-distress persona. She grabbed a black lace thong from her drawer, opting to go braless. She stepped into the dress, wiggling her hips to inch it over her butt. It was a bit of a tight squeeze, but she was able to pull it up past her slender waist, all the way to her perky breasts. In a motion usually reserved for contortionists, she bent her arm back to zipper her own dress. Sometimes, being a double-jointed ex-cheerleader really came in handy. As she closed the zipper, the emerald fabric pulled around her body, hugging each and every curve. She did a little turn, admiring how she looked before settling down in front of her vanity. A standard smokey eye matched the look she was going for, but matching lipstick to the dress was a bit of a challenge. Red would make her look like a Christmas tree, pink would make her look like a watermelon. She settled for a safe choice, a rich matte nude. Her legs were looking a bit lackluster, so she swung around on the vanity chair, massaging some shimmering lotion from her ankles all the way up to the hem of her tiny dress. There was no time left to straighten her hair, and the summer humidity was creating delicate curls in her normally wavy hair. For a moment, she was going to pull it back, disgusted by how much it made her look like Katherine. But no, Katherine can't control her life like that. She turned on the blow dryer and carefully scrunched the curls, making them into spiraling ringlets. She stepped back and took it all in. She looked as dangerous as she felt partying with Damon. She could feel this dangerous on her own, that was her goal of the night at least.

When the doorbell rang, Elena slipped on her black heels and walked downstairs. She opened the door, taking in Stefan's outfit choice. He was wearing a black v-neck and dark jeans. His hair was a bit messier than normal, making his usually serious green eyes look uncharacteristically playful. The dark fabric of the t-shirt stretched over his muscular arms, a bit of his rose tattoo showing at the edge of the sleeve.

 _A guy with a tattoo has to have a wild side right?_  Elena took a deep breath in, breaking the silence.

"You look… sexy, Elena" It sounded so strange, Stefan usually called her beautiful, gorgeous, but never hot or sexy. Elena wanted to give him a compliment in return, but her mind was fixated on how he was clearly attempting to emulate Damon. The simple look still looked fantastic on his toned, forever 17 body. Nobody could argue that Stefan wasn't just as hot as Damon. Elena shoved down the paranoid thought, ignoring how much she was comparing the two. What Elena didn't know was that Stefan was having his own internal struggle, trying to ignore how much Elena looked like Katherine with bouncing, wild curls.

"Thanks Stefan, you look good too. We match you know. " Elena winked, trying to lighten her tone. Stefan looked entirely confused. She took a step toward him, putting her hand on his firm chest. This was their first moment of contact of the night. "Your eyes... my dress". His breath hitched. She hadn't even been answering his texts until he offered to go out, but now she's touching him, flirting with him. He felt like he must be on the right track. She was experimenting too. They hadn't broken up, and she decided to give him a clean slate tonight, to be his girlfriend- his fun girlfriend. She boldly placed a quick kiss to his cheek, dragging him toward his car.

"Now tell me, where are we going?" He walked over to the passenger side, opening the door for her.

"You'll see" He was smiling ear to ear, clearly proud of the plans ahead.


	7. Drinking in the small-town firelight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> House parties can be fun, right? Elena wasn't so sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries, the characters, or really anything else besides a few stocks and my laptop. If I did own TVD, I never would have killed off Lexi, and she would have forced Stefan to have a lot more fun.
> 
> Chapter Title Song Credit: This is what makes us girls by Lana Del Ray

Elena wasn't expecting Stefan to drive her to the boarding house, but the bass pounding out of the stately, wooden mansion gave her a sneaking suspicion about Stefan's plans. It was clearly a house party. Elena had been wanting a bit more adventure, but this was still a big step for stick-in-the-mud Stefan. She was most definitely overdressed though. Once Stefan had parked his classic red car in the lofty garage, he walked over to her side to open the door for her. A true gentleman as always, he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the car toward the house. Elena had been a bit worried about who he would invite to a party- he and Damon were always so protective of the boarding house. Much to her relief, milling about the living room were her best friends- Caroline, Bonnie, Matt and Tyler. When she saw Caroline, she no longer felt like the most overdressed one. While the boys and Bonnie were in jeans and t shirts, Caroline was in a tight black miniskirt and a pink silk blouse. She had on silver high heel sandals, matching her silver glittering eye shadow. Before Elena could really take in the whole scene, Caroline's thin, fair vampire arms were squeezing around her in a hug, mumbling something about how excited she was to let loose before running back to play with the stereo.

There were red solo cups set up on the table, and on the floor there was a whole keg of beer. This might have been the first time in a century that something other than hard liquor or blood was consumed in this house. Matt and Tyler were setting up some kind of drinking game in the kitchen, probably flip cup. Stefan gently turned Elena toward him, placing his hands on her bare shoulders.

"I hope it's ok that it is just the six of us. I didn't really know who else to invite, and I wanted you to be comfortable. As for location, I figured we were safer here, since you're still the owner on the deed. Plus, Damon is out, it's a… perfect opportunity to take over the house." Elena knew that there were ulterior motives, particularly his jealousy of how close Damon and Elena seemed to be getting, but she needed to stop thinking about this. Doubting him was only adding more fuel to the fire, burning away the possibility of giving him a chance.

"No Stefan, it's cute. I don't remember the last time we all just hung out like this." What she didn't add was ' _Probably before my parents died. Probably before I knew about vampires_ '. "Well, what are we waiting for?" She winked and turned around on the spot. Her happy face was very convincing.

Elena walked over to the bottle of vodka on the coffee table, poured a generous amount in a cup, and downed it like a shot. The hard Russian alcohol burned as it went down, the twinge of pain making her feel completely alive. Tonight wasn't about worrying about vampires or Klaus. Tonight wasn't about worrying about what Stefan would think of her when she lets loose. Tonight most certainly wasn't about the Salvatore love triangle that she seemed trapped in. Tonight was for friends, getting drunk, just being young again.

Stefan's eyebrows raised at how easily she kicked back that alcohol, so he followed suit, but with a completely full cup. If Stefan or Caroline wanted to keep up with the humans' buzz, they would have to drink ten times as much, and Stefan wanted to make sure that he, of all people, was the loosest of all.

* * *

Elena's house party instincts were on point, the game was indeed stack cup. In his 145 years, Stefan had never played before, so Caroline explained every rule in meticulous detail to him. They staggered the order around the table to even out skill levels, but with two vampires and a werewolf, some people had a clear advantage in the aim and reflex center of the table was filled with cups of either beer or vodka, one for the humans, one for the supernatural beings. It was downright comical, the table full of red solo cups in the ostentatious boarding house. Hopefully nobody cared that they were going to spill alcohol all over the clearly antique table.

Matt and Tyler were taking it way too seriously, stacking the cups so hard that some of them cracked, so to level the playing field, Bonnie started very inconspicuously moving the ping pong balls, ruining their aim. The boys were none the wiser, but she threw a huge, telling smile to Caroline and Elena. Beer splashed out of the cups and all over the floor, and everyone's hands were incredibly sticky. Stefan stood between Caroline and Elena, since Caroline wanted to make sure he didn't break the rules. They both seemed to be breaking the rules though, vampire speeding their way through throwing balls, stacking cups, stealing from the other. There was chugging, laughing and rivalry, but in the end Matt won, Tyler punching him in fake, controlled anger. Everyone was starting to have a warm, pleasant buzz.

* * *

" _To the windooowwwww, to the wall"  
_ " _TO THE WALL"_

All the girls were screaming out the words to the song in unison. They were all dancing in a tight circle, jumping up and down. Bonnie had taken a few extra shots, her witchy responsibility making it a bit harder to relax. Nobody could have ever guessed that now, her sparkly dangling earrings waving side to side as she rolled her hips in time with Caroline. They were gorgeous- Elena in her green, skin tight dress, Caroline in her slinky red and black number, and Bonnie in a short, flowing purple dress that looked right out of Woodstock. Caroline, trying to keep her level of intoxication in line with her human friends, was dancing with a bottle of tequila in one hand, drinking straight from it in between song lyrics. The playlist had all of their favorite songs from middle school dances, and ones that they would have danced to if their high school dances weren't always some kind of paranormal crisis. They ditched their shoes three songs ago, and their bare feet skipping around the Persian rugs Damon was always complaining about. The boys weren't quite sure what to do, sipping beers on the sidelines, so Stefan stepped in and pulled Elena away from the group, dancing face to face, hip to hip. This was enough encouragement to get the other guys off the sidelines too.

Stefan's dancing was a bit forced, rigid even. He didn't know how to move his hips, and his shoulders were too square. Elena chalked it up to him being 145 years old, but her mind kept wandering to how fluid and natural it was to dance with Damon. The more drunk she was, the less her mind was able to avoid comparing the two brothers. They danced through a few different songs, all different styles, none of them seemed to fit with his energy or match his personality. Stefan's hands on her waist were tense and possessive, Damon's had been sensual and convincing, challenging her to let go. Stefan's hands made her want to bottle up. She had to do something to liven this moment up. She had held it together up until now, trying to have fun with Stefan, but the fragile composure of a drunk mind had her switch from optimistic to confrontational in an instant. She was going to push out the conflict between the two brothers. This was her night, so she grabbed Stefan's arm, dragging him into a hallway. As they left the room, leers and whistles chimed throughout the room. Everyone thought they were going to make out, hook up, but Elena had other plans.

She walked them up the stairs and far enough down the hall so that nobody would walk in on them. She stumbled a bit up the stairs, but Stefan held her up, making sure she didn't fall. Stefan had a juvenile twinkle in his eye, like a boy who thought he was about to get his first kiss. Sometimes, Elena forgot that he really was just a 17 year old trapped in a never-aging vampire body. She licked her lips, swallowing and trying her best to muster up some persuasive composure. This would never work if Stefan thought she was too far gone.

"Stefan…." She drawled, tracing her finger from his full lips, down his neck, and to the edge of his v-neck.  _Why did he have to dress like Damon. That makes this so much more complicated_. Elena licked her lips and made eye contact as intense as compulsion. She kissed him, biting his lip and tugging on it as she pulled away.

"I know I've had  _my_  fun, but I don't think  _you're_ enjoying yourself as much as I am. Do you want to try something different?" She inched closer to him, breathing on his neck. "I've heard, that when you love someone, the taste is intoxicating"

"The taste of what Elena" Stefan was incredibly turned on by how vapid she was being, her curves melting into every nook of his body, but he couldn't help but be reminded of Katherine, the cascade of curls brushing his shoulder. He inhaled sharply, feeling the pulse in her body pressed up against his.

"The taste of  _me_ " She bit her lip hard, drawing blood, and placed a kiss on Stefan's lips before he could realize what was happening. His black veins around his eyes protruded, his eyes turning red. As his fangs pierced through his gums, he spun Elena around in vampire speed, pushing her against the wall. To anyone downstairs, it would sound like they were just having crazy sex. The only thing that was crazy was how Stefan was looking at Elena. His hands were gripping her wrists with an almost bone-breaking force. Stefan expected her to be terrified, but Elena's pupils dilated, her pulse surging in a thrilling arousal.

"Elena what the hell are you trying to do" Stefan growled at her, downright primal.

"I give you some of mine, you give me some of yours" She cocked her head to the side, narrowing her eyes in a challenge His ripper instincts were flaring up, and he was terrified of losing control. Elena hated this about Stefan. Damon was a confident, sexy, controlled vampire. Stefan was a blood-alcoholic mess, removing all the vampire allure he could have had. He pushed himself away from the wall, wiping the drop of Elena's blood from his lips and sped away. Elena heard the door open and slam behind him. The music stopped downstairs. Elena sank down the wall until she was sitting on the aged wood floors. The coppery taste of her blood filled her mouth, and as she wiped it with the back of her hand, her nude lipstick rubbed off with it.

* * *

The smoke floated through the crisp morning air, making tiny, nicotine-filled clouds. It was late August, but the mornings in Mystic Falls were starting to grow more brisk. Elena had snagged a blanket off the couch and had it wrapped around her shoulders before she walked out to the porch. She sat down on the step, her head resting on her cigarette-free hand. She hardly ever smoked, but after the night she had, it brought her to the vice. Luckily, Damon had a pack of Marlboro Reds in the pocket of one of his jackets. Elena had vaguely remembered him stashing them there when they were at the club. All of her friends were in the house, passed out in various positions, dead asleep. Bonnie was comfortably on the couch, her earrings on the coffee table. Matt had fallen asleep sitting up in one of the wingback armchairs. Tyler and Caroline were both on the floor, each with a bottle of liquor nearby. She laughed on her way out of the house at how polished Caroline was for a girl passed out on the floor. Her hair was still perfect, her makeup hadn't smudged, and her clothes didn't even have a single wrinkle. It was so very Caroline.

It was about 5:00 in the morning, and Elena hadn't slept at all, too busy thinking about Stefan's reaction, where he had run away to, and how this would impact their relationship. Her largest internal conflict, however, was that she couldn't bring herself to care about her problems with Stefan as much as she wanted to. Both Salvatore brothers had split town, leaving Elena wonder if she was responsible for cleaning up the house now. She couldn't focus her brain, her mind blurring into more of a feeling as opposed to coherent, individual thoughts. She flicked the ash onto the ground, taking another long drag. Holding the cigarette in her mouth for a moment, she wrapped the blanket around her shoulders tighter. She seriously wanted a cup of coffee, but might wake everyone up if she used the coffee pot, ruining her solitude.

Her melancholic introspective porch session was interrupted by the familiar roar of a Camaro engine. Damon had the top down and was listening to the Grateful Dead. His hair was messier than normal, and his white t-shirt was wrinkled, but he was hiding a bit of a smile behind his ray-bans. A stranger might say he even looked relaxed, but Elena knew 'relaxed' or 'calm' were words that could never describe Damon Salvatore.

He didn't notice Elena at first, but the smell of her blood alerted him to her presence once he was halfway down the driveway. He parked his car in front of the garage and walked toward the porch, folding his sunglasses and hooking them in the collar of his shirt.

"Good morning  _klepto_ , I see you rummaged through my spare jacket" he teased, raising his eyebrows at the end of the sentence. He sat down on the step next to Elena, less than an inch between them. He reached across her lap, grabbing the box of cigarettes and his old Zippo lighter, sliding out a cigarette for himself. He clicked the lighter, creating an ember on the tip of the paper, and joined Elena in staring into space.

"You know, I've had this lighter since 1939. They were the hot, modern thing of the day back then. That was before we even added Alaska and Hawaii as states." He leaned into her jokingly, tossing the lighter a bit and catching it back in his hand. When she didn't laugh he furrowed his brow, growing a bit concerned.

"So what has  _ignited_  this vice in you, Elena" His pun made her groan, but she still sat completely mute. They sat there in silence for a few minutes, until Elena let out a huge sigh and decided to give in to Damon's teasing.

"Stefan threw a house party last night. Things didn't go well."

"What, did  _bewitched_  throw up on one of my rugs, if she did, we might have one less Bennet on this planet" He articulated the t's on the end of each word, trying to hide the fact that he was sincerely worried about his rugs behind a mask of sarcasm.

"Full disclosure, before you go in there, we did make quite a mess, but I'm sure once Caroline wakes up she'll go into full neat-freak mode and clean up."

"So you partied so hard even the vampires passed out, nice" Damon was a bit jealous now that he missed out on this. "So is the other vampire passed out too? How is my boring brother?"

"Gone." Elena's delivery was completely blank.

Damon pursed his lips, unsure of what to say. He and Elena are friends, they party together, they bitch about Stefan together, but she seemed much more upset than normal. This might be a good opportunity to not be an asshole, given that he was in love with her after all.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Damon was honestly proud of how emotionally mature of a response that was. He really meant it though. Beneath his sarcastic, douche-bag exterior, he was always the more sensitive of the two brothers. When they were human this was obvious, but Damon let the bad-ass vampire parts overshadow this.

Elena tightened her lips into a line, paused for a second, and then shook her head, her slightly deflated curls tossing about.

"I like the curls on you by the way, very Katherine."

"Yep. I couldn't let her rule my hair choices forever, right. But let's not talk about Katherine right now, my head hurts"

"I always forget that part about human drinking."

"It's part drinking, part overthinking"

She took the last drag of her cigarette, tossing it onto the ground and stomping it out with her foot. For some reason that she couldn't quite place, she leaned in a bit closer into Damon, resting her head on his shoulder. She loved how he didn't pry, how he let her just be quiet. Sometimes she didn't want to talk about things, and very few people understood that. She felt safe and understood in this quiet, dawn moment. The sun was starting to rise a bit higher above the trees and Damon closed his eyes, enjoying the morning sunshine.

"Hey Damon, " He hummed in response, half-opening one of his eyes.

"Remember how you helped me with that hangover before? " He now opened his other eye, looking at her curiously.

"Well, I was wondering if you could do that for me again" His lips crooked into a small smirk.

"Ok then, let's get inside, I'll start making the coffee with my …  _special ingredient_." Stomping out his cigarette, he started to stand, but Elena grabbed his wrist and pulled him back down.

"As much as I want coffee, I'm afraid all that noise will wake everyone up. I can go without it a little longer. But as for the other part…" She looked up through her thick, black eyelashes. A bit of flaked mascara was under her eye, and Damon thought it was adorable. She was still shy about what she was about to say, but she was just bold enough for him to be impressed.

"I give you some of mine, you give me some of yours"


	8. Got the ways and means

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Running away from your problems is always the best strategy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries, and I especially don't own Elena's collection of long-sleeved v-necks from 2007 era Aeropostale. For the title, sadly I don't own the song Truckin by Grateful Dead, it's a wonderful song.

 

New Jersey was by far one of the most desolate of the United States to drive through. Speeding up I-95, Damon couldn't help but want to get to the city and out of this toxic wasteland state as soon as possible. There was one thing beautiful thing in Jersey this time though- and she was sitting right next to him. He would complain about how much he hates this state, but he didn't want to put a damper on Elena's excitement. The music was testament to that- they combined some of her music into his playlist, since she didn't want to listen to his classic rock throwbacks. She was bobbing her head side to side to the music, bare feet on the dash, soaking up the morning sun. Her long olive legs were glowing, exposed by her cut off shorts. He let her borrow his Ray-Bans, with the stipulation of "You're human, so you can go blind from the sun I guess". Elena had been shocked that he would share his things, but Damon's ulterior motive was that he knew how hot she would look in his sunglasses.

 _And in my shirts. And in my bed. And in my mouth…_ His mind was trailing off as he stared down the mostly open road. A couple of rest stops back, they stopped to get Elena some breakfast, some kind of greasy croissant sandwich, and he downed an extra large coffee to take the edge off of his temptation to snack on Elena. Her sweet blood was tormenting him, being stuck in the car together for so long. He could smell it, the aroma strengthening and lessening each time her pulse fluctuated. Given their recent track record, she probably would let him, but he had only let her come along to New York if they could follow a few ground rules- one of which was no blood sharing.

Only problem was, he hadn't told  _her_  the rules yet. He figured if he threw them on her before they left, she'd try to convince him to change the rules, but he was determined not to budge. He would wait to tell her until they got there. He secretly was hoping that her hormone-filled human mind was full of filthy plans for their week-long trip, just so he could show her who has the upper hand when he doesn't give her what she wants. As much fun as they had partying, he was not about to let her take complete control. He loves her, but she's still with Stefan, so she can't have the best of both worlds. She will have to choose, and until she does, then he is going to torture her, tempt her, but most importantly- take control. He had a sneaking suspicion that sharing so much blood was making him weaker, making him unable to resist her or deny her, hence the  _no blood sharing_  rule he was going to give her. He would find some different, gorgeous snacks. He wouldn't hurt her feelings, just show her what she could have if she made a choice. The engine roared to life as he completely floored the gas pedal. He was still Damon Salvatore after all.

* * *

The day before

Clothes had exploded from the closet, forming an archipelago of piles, snaking their way around Elena's bedroom furniture. School was starting in a week, and she had done nothing to prepare. Between the parties, Stefan darting off, and self-loathing, she really hadn't had time to worry about books, pencils, class schedules or planners. More tragically, she hadn't thought about her back-to-school wardrobe. She didn't remember the last time she went clothes shopping, so all she had to work with were her leftovers from the previous year. The least she could do was take inventory of what she had and take stock of what was wearable and what had to go. She sat in the middle of the piles on her knees, popping up and down to see things, bending on her hands and knees when she needed to grab something. To make things more bearable, she was blasting her stereo, blasting all of the top-40 music she needed to know before she was thrust back into the world of high school dances. Her rule was that each pile had the duration of one song to handle it, and if it took longer, the whole pile would go into the donation bag.

She was disgusted by how many shirts had small blood stains on them that she never noticed. Those were too gross to even consider donating to charity. Most of the blood stains were accompanied by scratches, small tears, or holes, the evidence of the myriad life-threatening supernatural encounters she found herself in the past year. Not a single pair of jeans was unscathed, the knees all ripped from falling to the ground, running from vampires- a pair was even ripped from falling down the stairs at the Salvatore boarding house. She sighed, hoping that at least the rips looked deliberate enough to pass of as a style choice. The crazy drama they had dealt with surrounding Klaus, Katherine and witches seriously had taken a toll on Elena's closet. She wasn't sure that there was anything salvageable left, and did the math on how much money she would need to replace everything, when she would find the time to go out of town to the mall, and how long it would take until everything was ruined again.

In a melodramatic act of surrender, she fell backward into one of the piles, spreading her arms out next to her and staring at the ceiling. It was a nice change, just laying in her room listening to music. Dealing with normal girl problems like having the right outfit for her first day. A few songs later, right after Ke$ha's  _Your Love is my Drug_ , a rush of warm, humid Virginia air entered her room as her window swung open. Before she could even register what was happening, Stefan was standing in front of her, leaning on the side of her bed. He quizzically eyed the mess in the room, with clothes now covering almost every surface, letting out a quick chuckle to himself. Elena blinked her eyes hard, shaking her head. She would never get used to the near-constant bedroom break-ins by Salvatore brothers.

"You're back" Elena said, raising her eyebrows and dragging herself up off the floor. " I wasn't sure when you would come back after…. You know" She grabbed the crook between her elbow with her opposite hand, gripping hard, like she always did when she was nervous. She figured after he ran off at the party he wouldn't be back until after school started. She definitely hadn't thought that he would be back the next day.

"Of course I'm back, Elena. I just needed some time to … cool off. I'm sorry I ran off so quickly, I should have texted you so you didn't worry" His brow furrowed and he clenched his jaw a bit, making his sharp cheekbones jut out like an Italian model. Elena's phone had been, for once, was refreshingly absent of Stefan-texts or long, emotional voicemails. He walked forward, placing his cold, strong hands on her shoulders and sliding them down her arms. His green eyes looked so kind, so sincere, but it was moments like this that drove Elena crazy. She wished that he had come here to fight. She had, after all, put her blood-covered lips on the mouth of a blood addict. He spent every day fighting those urges, and she just brazenly tried to take what she wanted. It was so frustrating. He was gorgeous, loving, but he treated her like she was incapable of handling anything. Like he was so afraid of hurting her in any way that he couldn't even stand up for himself. She wanted him to yell, scream, tell her how stupid she was. That's what Damon would do at least. Elena let out a huge sigh.

"It's fine, I shouldn't have done that. I was drunk…" But it had nothing to do with her being drunk. The morning before, she asked Damon to drink from her, completely sober.

"No no no don't apologize" He moved his hands up so that they were cupping her face. He rested his forehead on hers, his muscles relaxing. The steady sound of her heartbeat reminded him that she was ok. He hadn't hurt her, and that was all that mattered. Her soft hair tickled his fingers, prompting him to run his hands through her silky, sable hair. As his fingers slid through the length, he paused for a second at her neck. He had planned on touching the chain of her necklace, the necklace he had given her, but instead his fingers were met with a raw, bumpy patch of skin. He tried to brush her hair away to get a look at what was marking her perfect skin, but she backed away, her posture becoming closed.

"Elena, what is wrong with your neck. Are you hurt?" She nervously started playing with her hair, but Stefan wouldn't back off, continuing to walk toward her.

"It's nothing, I burned my neck with the straightening iron. I should probably go put a band-aid on it" She mentally cursed herself for not covering it with a bandage the second she woke up, but she knew the air would help it heal better. She also was angry that she hadn't asked for Damon's blood after he took hers, because the bite marks would have closed up instantly.  _Maybe you secretly are proud of them, about how they made you feel._ No, she couldn't be having those thoughts, not right now, not like this. Refocusing, she tried to push past Stefan toward the bathroom, to cover up the evidence to justify his suspicion.

"Then let me see it, I can just give you a little of my blood to heal it. I don't want you ending up with a scar." He had her backed against the wall at this point, and she knew she was caught. "Plus, I know you wanted me to drink from you, but you know I can't… but if you take mine, it might feel, uh, just as good for you" He pursed his lips, pressing his body against hers. Elena's pulse spiked.  _Shit, shit, shit. There has to be a way I can get out of this._ Her thoughts were racing with anxiety, but luckily she was good at thinking on her feet.

"No, Stefan, sorry. Aren't you worried that if I take your blood and I die, then I'll become a vampire? You know I would never want that" She looked into his eyes with what she hoped was very strong resolve.  _Is he buying it? I hope he's buying it._

"Oh fuck, Elena I'm so sorry. That was so careless of me, I just really want to make you happy. And most importantly I want you to be safe. I would do anything for you." He closed his eyes and lifted her chin, placing a slow, protective kiss on her lips. "Now, let's take a look at that burn. I don't think I can fix it as well as vampire blood could, but in my 145 years, I have picked up a first-aid skill or two. " He pushed back her hair, and there was nowhere for her to run. He placed his left hand under her head, slightly leaning it to the side as he brushed the hair off of her neck. She was completely screwed, holding her breath in anticipation for whatever crazy reaction he was about to have. Would it be anger? Sadness? Jealousy? Would he think that she was attacked or compelled? The tears were welling up in her eyes, and she knew that either way, she was totally fucked.

* * *

Elena woke up to Damon elbowing her in the shoulder. She looked around, and everything was more densely populated than she remembered. The sun was higher in the sky, so she must have been asleep for a while, but she had no recollection of drifting off.

"Rise and shine sleeping beauty. If you look directly ahead of us, you can see the skyline of Jersey City, and a bit further in the distance, the skyline of the good ol' big apple. There's no way I could have let you sleep through seeing it for the first time, at least without feeling like a complete asshole." A joking, ear to ear grin was plastered on his face, blinking his eyes at her in a taunt.

She was completely blown away by the skyscrapers growing closer and closer- there was nothing like this in Mystic Falls. Excitement and anticipation started rising in her gut, and she couldn't help but feel like a kid about to go to Disney World.

"How much longer until we get there" She was bouncing a bit with all of her energy.

"About, 30 minutes? Can you make it that long or will you die from the suspense,  _T_ _horoughly Modern Millie_ " Damon could tell the Broadway reference completely flew over Elena's head. He made a mental note to take her to at least one show this week. He had already been planning on it of course, but now it felt criminal not to take her. How could she not know Sutton Foster? He knew her very well… from the last few times he was in the city.

She turned back up the stereo, and as  _Born to be Wild_ blasted out the top-down, baby blue Camaro, they flew toward Manhattan.

* * *

"So, Damon, can you explain why we parked on a street that is lined with such… fancy stores? Where exactly is the hotel?" She glanced down the block, where a Chanel, Louis Vuitton and Fendi were all flanked with fancy coffee shops and organic salad shops. There wasn't a hotel to be seen. She knew New York was the shopping capital of the world, but she had figured they would at least check in to their hotel first before setting out into the city. Popping open the trunk, he hauled their bags out of the car, smirking when he remembered she was still using his duffel. It looked so weird, seeing the top up on the convertible- Damon always drove with it down, but it wouldn't exactly be left open on a busy street.

"Elena, Elena. Have a little faith here. What would I do? Bring you all the way up here and have us just sleep on the street?" He seemed to be purposefully ignoring her question. They were headed toward an unmarked set of glass doors, clearly a modern addition to the old, austere white stone building. The cool air smacked her in the face as they were met with a dark-suited man sitting quietly at a desk. Elena was confused- there were no hotel signs, they didn't have to check in, and Damon was nonchalantly pressing the 'up' button for the elevator. With a ding, the elevator doors opened, large and industrial. He tapped some kind of key to an electronic keypad, tapping the button for "13".

"Um, Damon, did you compel the hotel staff ahead of time or-" She was cut off when the heavy metal doors opened directly into a stylish, top-floor loft. The ceilings soared with raw beams and pipes weaving their way through the expansive space. It looked like something out of an HGTV special- a mix of modern, industrial and antique. There was a mixture of textures- metal, wood, glass, leather and fur. Elena was still confused and shocked, as Damon threw his keys on the shelf next to the door and walked toward an open, chef-style kitchen. The marble counter tops covered dark cabinets and state-of-the art appliances. Compared to the traditional styling of the boarding house, the difference was night and day.

"What is this place?" Elena cautiously stepped further into the space, looking around in awe.

"Oh, you like it? It's just my super secret New York apartment of course." He looked at her with fake surprise, as if what he told her should have been completely obvious. Opening a cabinet, he produced another from his seemingly endless supply of vintage bourbon bottles, pouring himself a generous glass. Her eyes were still skeptically wide, and he sipped his drink slowly, waiting until she collected her thoughts.

"But Damon, wouldn't a place like this cost, I don't know, millions of dollars?"

"Considering that my neighbors are Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga, I would say the answer is yes. Property values in SoHo have really skyrocketed since I bought this dump in 1970. You can say I've… dressed it up a little bit over the years."

"I'd say" Elena mumbled, running her hands over the soft leather couch in the living room. The floors were polished concrete, covered in huge, fancy Persian rugs. She wouldn't expect anything less of Damon. This place must be at least half as wide as the entire building, and the two-level space was divided between cathedral-style ceilings, and a second floor, connected by a suspended metal and glass staircase with open-backed stairs. She continued to wander moving toward the lower level hallway.

"By all means Elena, snoop to your heart's desire" She stopped and turned around, a bit embarrassed, and joined him in the kitchen. "So my room is upstairs, and by that I mean it is the whole upstairs. You can stay in the guest room, it's down that hallway you were just about to  _snoop_  in"

She grabbed her bag off the floor next to the counter where Damon had dropped it and was about to go unpack before Damon sped over to her, only a few inches from her face.

"Hey hey hey, not so fast sweet cheeks. If you're going to be staying with me, you have to agree to a few ground rules." Elena skeptically raised her eyebrows, dropping her bag and crossing her arms.

"Well, it's not like I really have a choice now that I'm here, right"

"Oh stop being dramatic. Do you want to know the rules, or would you rather just find out what they are when you inevitably break them" The seductive look in his eyes gave Elena the impression that these rules weren't about to be things like "use coasters on the furniture".

"Fine, I'm all ears"

"Ok then: Rule 1: Don't go in my room. If you do, you might find out that my bed is  _much_  comfier than yours, and then you won't want to leave, which would violate Rule 2: No sleeping in my bed. " Elena narrowed her eyes at him, thinking how presumptuous it was. She was not super surprised.

"Rule 3: If I bring someone over, make yourself scarce. Remember, I had already planned this trip before I asked you along, so you can only imagine what type of plans I had" He winked, making Elena groan.

"Rule 4:- You have to do some good 'ol sightseeing with me, no matter how cheesy you think it is, or how many pictures I take. It's a rite of passage. That includes a Broadway show" Elena was a bit surprised at this rule, but she couldn't argue. She had actually been a little worried that she wouldn't get to see all the sights.

"Rule 5: If we go out, you have to dance with other people. I am not your boyfriend, and I have a bit of a debonair reputation to live up to. Go have fun with other people, break some hearts or whatever gorgeous girls like you do"

"Oh that reminds me, rule 5.5 I guess. Speaking of my reputation, I can't have you coming out with me in those sad, suburban mall clothes that have clearly seen better days. You know I'm a Varvatos guy, so you can only imagine what I think 'acceptable' women's clothes are. I think you're hot regardless, but people here, not so much. " He produced a card from his wallet. "Here, take this and go shopping later. I'll be… out, so it will give you something to do. Oh, and here's a number for my driver, and a MetroCard in case you want to slum it or something, get the real 'experience'. I would not advise taking the subway with large bags from fancy stores though, especially since you don't have a pair of fangs to protect you"

"Rule 6: Similar to dancing with other people, despite how talented you are, no more of those crazy back-alley blowjobs. Or any for that matter. Really, any kind of physical contact is off the books. Reiterating- I am not your boyfriend, and if you want to cheat on my brother, at least do it with a stranger. "

"There's just one more rule: " He pursed his lips at this one, regretting that he was making it a rule at all. He had to spit out the words before he changed his mind.

"No blood drinking. From either party. I need a bit of variety in my diet, and it isn't the best idea for you to go around with vampire blood in your system if you don't want to accidentally end up immortal. Stick to alcohol to get your kicks, drugs if you're desperate" The tension between them grew with the last rule, their bodies calling out to break that rule. Their blood still rushed through each other's veins, still hanging on after sharing blood yesterday on the porch. The draw was magnetic, causing blood to pool in Damon's groin. Elena's tongue darted out over her lips, her teeth biting down suggestively. With a rush, Damon was on the other side of the kitchen, willing his fangs to disappear back into his gums. He was hoping Elena hadn't noticed how much he was fighting against that rule. He loved her, but she was still with Stefan. He had to break this blood bond.

"So, what if I break the rules"

"Great question, but I'm not giving up the answer. Who knows? Maybe you wake up naked, on top the Empire State building. Maybe you end up in your bed in Mystic Falls. Maybe I compel you to join the circus. I'm sure you're dying to know what your  _punishment_  would be." He had drawn out the word punishment, articulating the t, smirking at the arousal just a single word had incited in her vulnerable human body. This week would be fun, for sure.

"Damon, but what if I don't want Stefan, do the rules still apply?" She stepped forward, looking at him through her thick lashes. He swallowed hard, putting on a confident mask.

"Well, you should have thought about that before you left. Between all the shouting, I'm sure you had  _ample_  time to break it off, am I wrong?" Elena cast her eyes downward, looking away from him. "The rules all still apply. If you take issue with them, or find them too hard to follow, then maybe that gives you something to think about."

Elena wasn't going to get the best of both worlds. Not this time.


	9. Arguments are made from make-outs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the type of party Elena is used to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, the characters, or the stories. If I did, Mystic Falls would have more LGBTQA+ people for sure.
> 
> Chapter title song credit: Dance Yrself Clean by LCD Soundsystem 
> 
> Notes: Elena is more than a bit problematic in this chapter, and it's on purpose, don't worry. Remember, she is from small-town Virginia, and there is a lot of growing she still needs to do.

The music was loud, and Elena swore that she could feel the bass shaking the sequins on her slinky, silver multicolored lights were dancing off of each sequin, casting shades of blue, purple and red onto her smooth, olive skin. Damon had gone out without her tonight, leaving her on her own to explore the city that never sleeps. She hated following all of Damon's stupid rules, so she decided to use at least one of them to her advantage. The driver he insisted she use had recommended this club to her, hinting that it might broaden her 'small town girl' horizons. As she navigated through the densely-packed dance floor, she could see why; it was a gay bar. Men were dancing with men, women were dancing with women. There certainly was nothing like this in Mystic Falls, and she was a little shocked to be perfectly honest. When the driver had said that it would broaden her horizons, she assumed it would be a loud hip-hop club, a kinky sex club, or maybe a drug-filled rave- so a gay bar was a surprise, making her feel completely out of her depth. She didn't want to feel this out of place, she had always been a bit… curious after all. While it felt a bit exhilarating to be in such a new environment, completely anonymous, she wanted to make sure to test the waters and get a feel for things before diving right in. A drink would ease her into things perfectly, give her some time to figure out what to do and what she wanted to get out of this night. Standing on her toes, she caught a glimpse of the bar on the other side of the dark, cavernous room. With each step of her pointed, red-bottomed heels, her freshly blown-out hair bounced on her shoulders, and she shimmied past the undulating couples, heading toward the bar.

The bar was sleek and dark, made of some kind of obsidian stone. It was lit underneath, making it look like it was floating. The clear, acrylic stools seemed to almost disappear, only reappearing when someone took a seat. Elena took a seat by herself, sliding onto one of the chairs, the sequins of her dress scratching against the surface. She pushed a lock of her wavy hair behind her ear before leaning over the bar a bit to get the bartender's attention. He looked like the Colossus of Rhodes- not exactly what you would expect of the bartender at a gay club. Clad completely in leather, he was tall, with muscles that looked like they went through years of military training. His blonde buzz cut seemed to glisten in the light, but his dark, mocha skin still apparent through the thin layer of hair. Elena didn't necessarily find him sexy, but there was no denying how beautiful this man was. She was so awestruck that she forgot to call him over to get her a drink. Luckily, he caught up on her doe-eyed staring, sauntering over to where she had planted herself, near the end of the bar.

"Well, don't you look like a deer in the headlights" His light, warm voice teased. He casually picked up a glass and wiped it with a soft cloth, placing it on the counter next to him. He kept repeating the same motions, but wasn't breaking eye contact, intimidating Elena even more. As if enjoying her discomfort, he let her stay like that for a moment.

"Can I get you anything?" He stopped drying the glasses and put the last one down with a thud, leaning forward and looking at her even more intently.

"Um, sure could I have a rum and coke?" She said, nervously biting the inside of her cheek.

"Sure thing _shug_ , could I have your card for the tab?" A strange twinge of a southern accent was sneaking out of his words, and now Elena was genuinely curious about this guy's story. Curious, but still too intimidated to ask any questions. She fumbled through her small black bag, pulling Damon's card out of her wallet. She would have pulled her own, but she hadn't set a travel notice on any of her cards, and she didn't want anyone at home knowing where she was or being able to track her payment activity. Strangely, nobody had given her a hard time yet for using a card with a random guy's name on it, which made her lose a little faith in the monetary system.

"Ok  _Mr. Damon Salvatore_. I've set up your tab " He winked at her, grabbing a bottle of rail rum and eyeballing a shot in an empty glass. He grabbed a soda spout and filled the cup to the rim with Coke, and slid it to her on the counter. She took a few deep sips of the drink before thanking the bartender and heading out to the dance floor.

She still hadn't mastered the art of dancing with a drink in her hand, but nobody on the dance floor seemed to mind. The guys, despite being gay, were more than happy to dance with her. It felt like she was at home, at a school dance, dancing with Caroline and Bonnie. A school dance before mystic falls was only death, vampires and doppelgangers. She caught a few people throwing her eye rolls, giving her the hint that maybe she was doing this whole 'gay club' thing wrong. She broke off from her group and went back to wandering, observing, and attempting to blend in.

_Gay. Gay bar. I'm a girl… so I should dance with the girls. But do I dance with the girls like I would dance with boys? Is that what I want? I'm definitely not gay, I like men… but maybe I should give this a shot?_

Elena's mind was racing nervously, but she swallowed hard, rolling back her shoulders and faking confidence. She knew she was hot, although she would never confess to it, but that was the only thing that was giving her any kind of power in this situation. Building up some nerve, she decided to find someone to dance with. The girls were a bit sparse- a mix of straight girls here with gay friends, and gay girls trying to flirt. Seeing the clearly straight girls, she saw what warranted the eye rolls and side-eye she was getting earlier. They looked like they were using the boys as entertainment, as safe, fun dance partners. They were loud, obnoxious, and completely clueless to the entire point of this environment. It just looked incredibly silly. Her plan was to find a gay girl and dance, this was a 'coming out of her shell' trip after all. She tried to focus on the girls that appeared to be gay, but to her naive small-town mind, the only distinguishing features she could think of were short hair and boyish clothes. Luckily, Elena bumped into a girl on the dance floor, and as she muttered a quiet ' _sorry_ ', a pair of stunning blue eyes twirled around to look at her.

Her name was Aubrey. At least, Elena thinks it was Aubrey- it was awfully loud in the basement club. Her black hair was bobbed short, framing a face with a strong jawline and sharp cheekbones. Her shapely figure was dressed in a black t-shirt and black skinny jeans- uncomfortably reminding her of Damon. What didn't remind her of Damon were the details- her full lips were painted ruby red, her wide hips seemed to barely fit in her jeans, and the t-shirt stretched across full breasts, the deep-v revealing ample cleavage. It felt strange, feeling such soft, delicate hands all over her body as Elena danced with Aubrey. It wasn't the same electrifying feeling she got when Damon touched her, but it was comparable to dancing with a random guy at a school dance. Elena wasn't quite sure if that meant she was into women or not, but being a bit tipsy and full of nervous energy, she knew that she wanted to be touched. Elena latched her arms around Aubrey's neck, pushing closer to her, taking note of the space her firm breasts created between them. Elena wasn't as well-endowed in this category, so the difference was even more evident. Ready for another drink, Elena pulled Aubrey to the edge of the dance floor.

"Drinks?" Elena bit her lip, wishing she could sound more confident in this new situation.

"Sure thing. " Aubrey put her arm around Elena as they glided toward the bar, before sliding into a pair of stools. "So,  _Alana,_  what is your poison"

 _Vampire Blood_. Elena's mind wanted to scream that out. The more she drank, the more the thoughts of how good Damon's blood made her feel started to sneak back in. But this wasn't about him, this wasn't about his rules. He would never be at this club, so this was all about her. Her thoughts jumping, she remembered that Aubrey just called her  _Alana._ Elena was a bit happy that Aubrey heard her name wrong- the extra level of anonymity pulled her further out of her shell. Shaking her head from the momentary lapse in attention she mustered up an answer.

"Tequila" She smiled, throwing a wink at Aubrey. The Adonis bartender came over again, and Elena ordered two tequila shots, putting them on her, well technically  _Damon's,_ tab. They made some small talk while he poured their shots, bringing out salt and lime. Elena told Aubrey how it was her first time at a gay club, and how she had been nervous before Aubrey was so nice to her. Aubrey said something about just getting out of a breakup, but before she could finish the shots were placed down in front of them.

"To new experiences" Elena toasted.

"With beautiful ladies" Aubrey purred.

They both licked their hands and poured on a bit of salt, licking it off. Elena tapped the shot to the table before throwing it back, squeezing the lime in her mouth once all the alcohol was gone. As she was putting her shot glass back down on the bar, she caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of her eye. Turning around on the stool, she saw her eyes were not playing tricks on her. She blinked hard, just to make sure she wasn't seeing things, but the scene in front of her was definitely not a figment of her imagination.

Damon was dancing with a guy- a hot guy. Their hands were wandering all over, Damon combing through the man's perfectly groomed bleach-blonde hair. The stranger caressed Damon's cheek, tracing down his jaw, dotted in stubble. With each  _boom_  of the bass, their hips circled together, their bodies rolling from their cores up to their shoulders. Damon's arms were around the guy's neck, and his hands were on Damon's waist. Before Elena could take all of that in, the dancing, the sexuality shock, the jealousy, the guys kissed. Damon Salvatore, womanizer extraordinaire, just kissed a guy, and by the looks of it, that couldn't have been the first time. It was too natural and relaxed- just like how Elena had seen him kiss tons of girls before- like she'd seen him kiss  _her_  before. Her throat clenched, and her stomach filled with heat. All of the shock of Damon being bisexual was replaced immediately by panicked jealousy.

"Uh, Alana, are you alright? Do you see somebody you know?" Aubrey seemed a bit concerned. Elena suddenly felt a surge of energy jolt through her, feeling like she had something to prove. If Damon was going to be bad, two can play at that game.

"No, I'm fine, but I think I could be  _better_." Elena quickly leaned forward, placing both of her hands on Aubrey's cheeks. Looking into Aubrey's blue eyes for a brief moment of permission, Elena's fire burned hotter as she was reminded of how she wished she was looking into Damon's crystal-blue orbs instead. Pushing that thought away, Elena leaned forward and tilted her head to the side, pressing a firm kiss on Aubrey's plush lips It wasn't groundbreaking for Elena, she had kissed Caroline once on a dare, but was a bit adventurous was how Aubrey continued the kiss. As their tequila-flavored tongues danced and hands wandered, Elena's only concern was whether or not Damon was seeing this. She wasn't completely prepared for a full, girl-on-girl makeout session, and her lack of passion was showing, so she told Aubrey that she needed to go outside and get some air. Aubrey caught the drift that Elena wasn't into her, and ordered another drink at the bar.

* * *

Damon dropped to his knees, the concrete below them cool and damp in the midnight air. As the guy, Troy, fiddled with his belt buckle, Damon took control and unbuckled it in one swift motion. Damon pulled Troy's pants and underwear down just enough to expose his throbbing cock, and locking eyes with Troy, he took his length into his mouth. This only lasted for a second though, Damon taking advantage of that initial moment of pleasure to bite down into the thick skin of Troy's upper thigh, drinking deeply and having his fill. Damon considered finishing him off, but he was in a back alley, and after dancing with Troy for an hour, he was getting bored anyway. Wiping off his blood-stained mouth with the back of his hand, he stood up, placing both of his hands on Troy's shoulders. Troy was confused for a second, until Damon started compelling him.

" _Forget that I just bit you. Here is what you remember. We danced, kissed, and had drinks. You thought I was the best dancer in the club. We came out to the alley and I gave you the best blowjob of your life. You are going to go home, go to bed, and never tell anyone about this"_

"I won't tell anyone about this" he mumbled robotically.

"Now go on, hot stuff" Damon jokingly pushed Troy on the shoulder, backing away from him and turning around. As he walked back toward the club, he saw Elena leaning against the wall a few feet outside the door.

"I thought I told you not to follow me  _Alana_ " Damon's tone was seething as he joined her, standing beside her against the wall.

"So you… saw all of that"

"Heard, saw,  _smelled_ , doesn't matter. All of these heightened senses sometimes blend together." He was clenching his jaw as he dug a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket and lit one for himself. He didn't offer one to Elena, but she reached for the package.

"Remember what I said about breaking the rules, and how there would be consequences? I think that denying you the privilege of getting lung cancer is a very kind and gentle place to start." He smirked, but it wasn't his normal, cute smirk he gave to Elena. Something was different.

"Look, I didn't mean to follow you. The driver recommended it, and the moment I realized it was a gay bar, I was sure you wouldn't be here" Damon made a mental note to compel his driver to forget this place. Or kill him. Or both.

"Why would you be so sure I wouldn't come to a gay bar Elena? Do I not seem  _gay_  enough to you? Can someone who has so much sex with women not also want to have sex with men? Tell me Elena, because if you are so closed-minded that you didn't think there was a way in hell that Damon Salvatore could enjoy some dick once in a while, then maybe you should just pack up your bags and go back to Mystic Falls. I told you not to follow me because I knew there were parts of me you couldn't handle- that you are too  _immature_  to handle- and now you've just proved me right."

" _Immature?_ I'm sorry Damon, I forgot. It's totally my fault that I haven't had since  _1864_  to grow up and mature" Damon's words had hurt her, and not just the part about immaturity. She didn't know what else to say though, all she saw in her mind was red. Elena pushed herself off the wall, trying to walk away, but Damon grabbed her by the wrist and spun her around, pinning her against the wall, their faces only inches apart. He was so angry at her, but still, each molecule in his body was calling to her, like two powerful electromagnets.

"You don't need any level of maturity to know that you shouldn't kiss a girl just to make another person jealous. That's stooping very low Elena, lower than me." Damon heard her heart skip. He clearly hit a nerve. "And let's clear up one thing, something you need to learn quick- I wasn't hooking up with a guy because it was rebellious or dangerous. I wasn't kissing him just because I was partying or drunk. I was with him because I'm bisexual. And you, Elena Gilbert, don't get to go around pretending to play the bicurious card just because you're pretty and might get away with it. You can't go into gay clubs, dance with all the twink boys and kiss girls to make people jealous. A gay club is not your play house. People aren't  _toys_  Elena. Sometimes you really can act like Katherine"

Tears were welling in Elena's eyes, and it took all of Damon's willpower to not give in to her. She had to face some consequences and get called out. Elena was always being so coddled and protected that nobody ever told her when she was wrong. For something this serious, he couldn't give in, so he pushed back from the wall and walked back slowly, keeping eye contact. His breathing was heavy, partially from rage and partially from this chemical attraction he was having to her presence. He was completely full on blood, his thirst satiated by his back-alley hijinks, but his fangs were dying to protrude from his gums. It was like every vein and artery in Elena's body were pulsating comically, and even standing four feet away now, he could see each pump. He had to get out of here.

"See you back home Elena… if your key still works" He vampire sped away, and Elena crumbled. She sank down the brink wall, some sequins detaching from her dress and falling onto the dirty sidewalk. The rib-breaking sobs were ripping out of her now, and she tried to muffle them by holding her hand over her mouth. She was incredibly intoxicated, and the argument that just happened all blurred together into one ball of negative, angry emotion for her. All she had wanted was for him to stop yelling and to make her feel better. The mixture of emotions had been so confusing- the shame for handling a situation poorly, the hurt from being yelled at, and the unignorable lust for Damon and his blood. Even as he was screaming, she wanted to wrap up in him and bare her neck for him. Even as she started to cry, she wanted him at a primal level. As if his blood was trying to jump into her veins, just waiting for them to get close enough.

Elena rubbed the tears from her eyes and peeled off a fake eyelash, the glue half melted by her salty tears. She carefully ripped off the other one and tossed both of them across the alley. She was drunk and alone, in a strange city and she just wanted to give up. Throwing her head in between her knees, she started to figure out a plan to get home, apologize to Damon, and maybe close out the tab. As her intoxicated mind was sweating the details, she felt someone crouch beside her and slowly lift her up. She was about to panic, but she would recognize those strong hands on her shoulders anywhere.

"Look, I can't let any level of anger ruin a pair of Louboutins, and crouching like that is liable to break the heels off. Plus, maybe I'm a good person and couldn't leave you in an alley alone. Come on, let's go home. I already called a cab for us." Elena blinked away a few remaining tears and looked him in the eye.

"Wait- Damon" Before he could object, she threw her arms around his neck, kissing him like a tsunami hitting the shore, full of reckless passion. The cab honked, and he practically threw Elena into the back seat, mumbling the address to the cabbie. They made out in the car, Damon's hands sliding up Elena's dress as she leaned against the door, his body on top of hers. He carefully pushed back some of her hair and bit her lightly, savoring her sweet honeysuckle blood, disguising the motion as a kiss. Knowing what she wanted he bit his lip, letting Elena drink as deeply as she was kissing him.

They were interrupted by the cough of the cabbie- they were at the apartment. Damon threw the driver two 100$ bills, carrying Elena into the building in the blink of an eye. In the elevator, she pressed him against the metal walls, clawing her hands down his chest and looping a finger through the waist of his jeans. He licked the blood off of her neck, causing her to press her hips firmly against his. The elevator doors opened straight into the gorgeous space, and Elena eagerly headed toward the stairs for Damon's room. He vampire-sped in front of her, stopping Elena dead in her tracks.

"I said there would be punishments for rule breakers Elena." She was standing in front of him, shoulders rising and falling with her heavy, aroused breath. " By my count, you've broken quite a few rules tonight: following me, kissing me, drinking my blood. I know if I let you, you would break rule #2 and end up sleeping in my bed, but you can't afford to break any more rules, now can you?" Elena was pouting at him, her hands on her hips.

"Really Damon-"

"Yes  _really_. Like I said, if you don't like the rules, then maybe you have some things to think about Elena. You're still with Stefan- I can't let you have both, I've seen how that one ends. "

"You can't keep comparing me to Kath-" Elena was getting angrier each time Damon cut her off.

"Ooh- new rule. Rule 8: No talking about Stefan or Katherine. No ifs, ands or buts about it. So if you want to finish that statement, it looks like you'll find yourself breaking another rule" He raised his eyebrows at her, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.

"Wait, that's not how this works, you can't go creating more rules!"

"Consider it part of your punishment for all the rules you've already broken. Now, go to bed Elena… in your own room" She sighed heavily and turned around.

"Oh and one more thing" She comically swung around, completely tired of Damon's antics.

"Tomorrow is sightseeing day. And unless you want to break more rules, that means no Damon-blood miracle hangover cure for you. See you bright and early"


	10. Don't care if this is my worst mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Text messaging is a modern form of warfare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries, the characters or the stories. I don't own the songs that inspire me, nor do I own the songs Elena likes to shake her ass to.
> 
> Chapter Song Credit: Heart to Break by Kim Petras
> 
> Notes: We get a bit of a flash forward back to Mystic Falls here! I promise it's not out of place, I just wanted to remind you guys that people still exist there!

 

* * *

"Are you sure about this Elena?" Cautious, Damon took a step forward, putting one arm on Elena's shoulder. He was holding her phone in his other hand, clutching it with white knuckles. His eyes were searching for a catch, unable to trust the situation. He was an emotionally vulnerable wreck. The magnetism grew with every nanometer closer he got to her, and even now he could barely resist her.

"Yes, Damon, " Elena paused, taking a deep breath, meant to steady her. Instead, her senses were overwhelmed with the cedar musk that surrounded Damon, always mixed with bourbon and laced with tobacco. She was completely ruined. She wanted to finish this now more than ever, but her mind wanted her to be on him- touching him, drinking him. Blinking hard, she swallowed down her thoughts and continued.

"I am completely sure that this is what I want." She held out her hand, palm up.

"Alright then. It's settled." Eyes blank, in dissociative shock, he plopped her phone down in her hand, stumbling back and robotically going to the liquor cabinet to pour himself a drink. He couldn't believe what was happening- it was completely surreal. This had to be some kind of trick, he was sure of it- until his heightened hearing heard a single button-click of a cell phone from across the room. If he was still in possession of a beating heart, it would have just stopped. Putting down his drink gently onto the marble counter, his eyes grew wide and his pupils dilated. This was really happening. He listened as her high heels slowly and methodically clicked against the concrete floor as she walked toward the kitchen. He heard her quietly put her phone on the counter, and now he could feel her breath, just a foot away.

"I did it. It's over"

Her phone screen was still on, showing a text conversation, the last message sent just seconds ago.

_It's over Stefan. I can't do this anymore._

* * *

_The next morning_

The door flew open, creaking on its hinges.

"Bonnie, we need to talk." Caroline barged in, the black veins under her eyes showing through her usually flawless skin, a side effect of her rage.

"Caroline what's wrong." Bonnie said as a more of a statement than a question,. "Is it something with Klaus… " Bonnie was used to this type of drama, but she wasn't used to seeing Caroline lose her composure like this.

"I'm ok, but you know who's  _not_  ok? Stefan." She stomped up to Bonnie's room, found an old backpack, and started shoving some of Bonnie's clothes inside. Bonnie followed after her.

"Caroline, what are you doing? You haven't told me what happened. Wait, why are you packing a bag for me? Is someone coming after us?"

"No time to explain. You're coming with m- AAAHHHHG" Caroline dropped to the floor, clutching her head. Bonnie was standing in the doorway of her room, hand outstretched and face demanding respect.

"Care, you know I don't like to do that, but you need to answer my questions. What happened. What is wrong with Stefan. Answers- go"

Caroline answered in a weak voice.

"Elena. She broke up with Stefan. She broke up with Stefan via… text message"

"No, that's ridiculous, Elena would never do that." Bonnie's face turned into a grim, wide eyed, worried expression.

"Exactly. But Stefan is devastated, and even though he thinks that something is wrong, part of him still believes this is for real. I'm afraid he's going to go full ripper on us, so I temporarily  _vervained_  him in the basement cellar of the boarding house, just to be safe."

Caroline was back on her feet now, smoothing the skirt of her floral dress. "Now, that leaves us, the non-ripper vampire and the badass-anything-is-possible witch to figure out what has happened to Elena. We know she never would have done this, so we have to figure out who the hell sent that text and what they've done to Elena. Now, we're setting up base camp at the boarding house. I gathered a bunch of Elena's things you can use for locator spells or whatever, but you have to bring anything you think you might need. This is an all hands on deck situation. I'll explain more once we get to the boarding house."

* * *

_Last night_

They were somewhere in Brooklyn- an old, dusty warehouse with half-busted, clouded glass windows. The metallic twang of an amplifier coming to life, a guitar just plugged in ripping feedback through the space. The music was just about to start, and every inch of the space was packed with hipsters, buzzing with anticipation for the act to come.

Elena was a bit tired from a day packed to the brim with sightseeing, a new and unique form of punishment Damon formulated for her because she broke the rules. She didn't realize that beneath the thin, egg-shell layer of douchebag antics, Damon really was trying to get her to have a good time, and she had been doing a terrible job of pretending that she was grumpy and miserable the whole time. She walked so much that her feet were aching, and she would do anything for just a taste of vampire blood to heal her blisters and give her energy, but the four shots of espresso she had before coming to the concert would just have to do. It made no sense- her brain was suddenly jumping to the solution of Damon's blood for all sorts of unnecessary scenarios. Headaches, paper cuts, hangovers, blisters, all minor human inconveniences that could be healed by blood, but really they were all just ways to rationalize that she was thinking about his delicious blood near constantly. Her tongue was craving that sweet taste- like mulled wine, heavily spiced and intoxicatingly rich. With every painful step of her blister-covered feet in her high-heeled boots, the craving for him intensified, the lust almost causing her physical pain. It was hard enough, the thoughts of him clouding her mind, but the way he looked alone could have killed her.

Damon never dressed quite like this in Mystic Falls. He was wearing a tight pair of black skinny jeans and a pale blue v-neck, the same color of his eyes. He paired it with a slightly worn pair of white converse sneakers. Elena thought that hell would have frozen over before Damon Salvatore wore sneakers, but the chill, sexy hipster energy the outfit threw off was undeniably still Damon. The traditional badass vampire look, clad in all-black and leather was replaced with something that would make any Coachella-going millennial weak. His powers of seduction were clearly less one-trick-pony than Elena had assumed. Elena had this cool girl vibe perfected as well. Her usual candy-colored v-necks and jeans were replaced with a pair of grey, high-heeled ankle boots, black thigh-high socks, and a short, dark green two piece dress. The skirt emphasized her tiny, hourglass waist, and the crop-top was skin tight and sleeveless, exposing a few inches of her upper stomach. Damon laughed at her when she came out of her room in the outfit, jokes ranging from 'You got ripped off, they stole part of your dress' all to 'That outfit would have had you arrested for the majority of the time I've been alive'. With her vervain necklace hidden in the neckline of the dress, she could easily be mistaken for Katherine, so he insisted it looked good with the outfit even though it didn't match. She was still a knockout, weird necklace and all, and Damon could barely stop himself from ravaging her the second he saw her. But he wasn't going to let her break any rules tonight, mostly for his own sake.

"Ok, so here is how things are going to go, Elena. We split up, and you do your best to get lost in the crowd. Dance, scream, enjoy yourself, the choices are endless. " Damon reached in his back pocket, pulling out a flask and upending it, taking a generous swig. He licked a stray drop of whiskey off his lip, smirking at how the gesture made Elena's tiny, horny, human heart flutter. She was so much easier than she knew. He held out the flask to her, and she drank a bit too eagerly.  _Probably to try to forget about me._ Damon's ego was painfully huge.

"Aren't you afraid of losing me? How will I find you when the show's over?" Elena squinted her eyes, clearly grumpy that he didn't want her to stick with him all night.  _Oh. That's right, no dancing. What a stupid rule._ Her eyes rolled so hard that they threatened never to go back to normal. Her attempts to manipulate his weakness for protecting her were just bullets ricocheting off of steel. He was not falling for it this time.

"Come on Elena, I thought you were smarter than that." He leaned in, whispering in her ear. Her pulse throbbed just a centimeter below his lips. His fangs itched under his gums, dying to come out to have a taste. Resolving to just be satisfied with the sensuous scent of her, he took in a deep breath, savoring every complex note of her blood's aroma. "Even with the vapid cloud of perfume around you, I could smell your  _blood_  over a mile away. Trust me, I've tested it before." Leaning back to a normal distance, he raised his eyebrows suggestively, watching her squirm, her upper lip twitching in annoyance. The real cause of her squirming was how close he had just been to her neck, reminding her of how he drank from her at the club on the dance floor. Gathering her thoughts, she stepped in so their chests were only inches apart.

"Fine then. I'll see you after then. Enjoy the show …" She stepped to the side, trailing her finger on his collarbone, walking just a step past him. "I'm sure  _I'll_  find someone to enjoy it with." Jealousy coursed through his undead veins, which he channeled into cool obstinacy, accepting her challenge. Two could play at this game.

* * *

Damon wasn't sure at what point in the past 100 years it became okay to mix electronic music with rock, but if it got girls to shake their asses like this, he was all for it. Hypnotic, dream-like beats danced above what seemed to be some kind of folk-inspired guitars and dramatic lyrics. He found himself a few rows of people back from the front, just far enough away to be able to fly under the radar but still have fun. The source of his fun right now was a slender brunette who reminded him a little too much of Elena, save her sage-green eyes. She was swaying side to side in front of him, and his hands were wandering all over her. More than once he brushed her hair to the side, burrowing his mouth in the crook of her neck and drinking to his heart's desire. Even though he had compelled her to be into his biting, she didn't react in the same intoxicated, aroused way Elena did to being fed on. He hated how she had ruined part of feeding for him, like how having sex on ecstasy ruined sex for some poor, unfortunate humans. She was his ecstasy, but not being able to have more of her addictive blood was making him more ravenous than normal. Nothing satisfied him in the same way, but in a room of distracted, mostly high concert-goers, he at least had an ample supply of blood to cut down on his cravings. He was literally eating up all of the attention he was getting from the girls fawning over his good looks- and his killer dance moves.

Elena was floating around, mostly right in front of the stage. She danced with tons of guys, but never for more than half of a song. She was playing the crowd like a pro, leaving behind a wake of completely enamored men. Damon caught a glimpse of her when she accidentally ended up a few meters from him, swirling her hips against a tall, tanned blond. An animal-like energy started building up in his gut, and when she twirled around, their eyes locked and it felt like time completely stopped- and then she did it. She smirked at him. Yanking on her current toy's shirt, she pulled him into a deep kiss, keeping eye contact with Damon as she devoured the stranger's mouth. Damon compelled his brunette to forget him and tried his best to walk, not vampire speed, over to Elena. When he got close to her, she broke away from her rebellious kiss. She held out her arm, blocking Damon from getting any closer. She was getting very good at playing his game.

"Not so fast, you're not getting any closer. No dancing together,  _remember_? Can't have people thinking you're taken." Elena was barely talking above a whisper, but she knew Damon could hear her over the music. The band announced that this next song was their last, causing the crowd to cheer in a bittersweet roar. She pouted her full, plush lips. "I guess I'll just have to find a place to dance where you can't be tempted to break our little agreement."

Completely leaving her blond friend high and dry, Elena confidently weaved through the crowd toward the stage, moving with an intense purpose. Employing some of her cheerleader skills, she easily hoisted herself up onto the stage, the crowd cheering her on. The guitarist eyed her up, liking what he saw, so he let her stay. Damon was starstruck- she didn't have to compel people to get what she wanted like Katherine did- her infectious personality was enough to get her anything. Elena danced back to back with the guitarist, sliding herself all over his body. She was embodying the Devil himself, up there taunting Damon. She was going completely wild, dancing by herself and shaking her hips to the beat. A huge reckless and carefree smile was plastered on her gorgeous face. Damon took back every quip he had made about her dress. The thin stripe of skin showing between the skirt and the top was just enough to drive his imagination wild, and she clearly wasn't wearing a bra under the tight top. The emerald color of the fabric is what really put the last nail in his coffin- she had to have known it was his favorite color. Leave it to Elena to find a way to make him love it even more, the gem-like color making her caramel skin glow under the bright and hazy concert lights.

Her skirt was swaying side to side with her hips, and as she twirled, Damon caught a glimpse of her lace underwear as the skirt fanned out. He didn't need to breathe at all, but right now he was breathing heavier than someone who just ran a marathon, his chest rising and falling- a predator ready to pounce. He loved her this way- he especially loved how he could tell she learned some of this behavior from him. He could barely control the urges he was having right now, and despite snacking on seven unaware girls during this concert, his fangs were dying to come out, starving for Elena and Elena alone. The beat of the last song started to fade out, and the band thanked the audience. As the cheers and clapping roared through the open space, the guitarist hooked Elena around the waist, pulling her into a raunchy, rockstar-groupie kiss. She kissed back eagerly, running her hand through his hair before breaking away and leaving the stage. Damon was lost. He didn't want to have the self-respect of not being with her while she was with Stefan. He didn't want to care, but this was still Elena, who already had too much power over him.

Elena had disappeared into the crowd, but he easily followed her scent to find her. He snuck up behind her, putting his hands around her waist and flipping her around. Goosebumps rose to attention on her skin just from the simple touch of his cool, strong hands. His finger lightly grazed the exposed skin above her skirt, and he could feel her body shudder and her pulse soar. She wanted this as much as he did. Her chocolate doe-eyes looked up at him, exposing everything she was feeling, and his face wasn't hiding any secrets either. They stood there silent, paused within crowd shuffling out of the venue to leave.

"You had every pair of eyes transfixed on you tonight, you know. I mean you had that band wrapped around your little doppelganger finger. You're lucky that nobody thought you were Kath-" His attempt to snarkily divert this tension was thwarted. She leaned in, putting a finger to his mouth, silencing him.

"No mentioning her, remember?" She delivered in a calm, quiet tone, her expression unchanging. Her subtle confidence and resolve boomed through him, almost knocking him back. She lifted her finger, leaving a burning sensation where her skin had met his lips. It took every ounce of resolve for him to not bite her, sucking her finger in his mouth before kissing her, her blood still on his lips. But he didn't do that. He couldn't give in. He had to keep playing his own game. Or at least try.

"Well, Elena- what are you going to do about it?" He cocked his head to the side, his cold breath tickling her cheek. "Are you going to…  _punish_  me?" He articulated every letter of the word, her heart racing. "Or are you satisfied with how you've been torturing me all night? How you torture me every day." He vampire sped her outside, so fast nobody could see. He needed more privacy, more quiet to try to ruin her resolve. Completely alone now, he ran his hands through her hair, nuzzling into her neck, breathing in her intoxicating scent. He couldn't control himself, he had to touch her, but his gentle touches still were the product of intense restraint.

"I thought you said no touching." Elena's eyes fluttered closed, a moan like sigh escaping her lips. She was crumbling. Unconsciously, she tilted her head back, exposing her long, slender neck to him. His fangs were out, and somehow, Damon could hear her thoughts, as loud as a scream, begging him to drink. He barely processed how he could hear her, and she would never admit she felt the same, sensing his almost uncontrollable desire. She had never imagined Damon could have even a portion of this self-control.

"But you're asking me for this Elena. I can give you exactly what you want, what we know we  _both_  want. Screw the rules." She squirmed a bit away from him, and he was suddenly worried.

"No, you were right setting those rules. I can't keep playing around with people- not when I know exactly what I want. Not when I've finally admitted that to myself. Can we go home? I have some… things I have to take care of- some hard messages I have to send."

* * *

_A few hours later…_

"So that's it then." Damon pursed his lips, searching for affirmation in Elena's eyes. She took a cautious step forward.

"That's it. No more rules now, right?" She relaxed her shoulders, letting out a nervous breath.

"Nope." Damon popped the 'p'. He locked eyes with her, furrowing his brow pensively.

"So then... We can have as much fun as we want." Her eyes dropped to his lips, and she lunged forward, closing the short distance between them. Their mouths crashed together, and she suddenly found herself with her back against the brick wall, her legs wrapped around Damon's hip bones and tight core. This kiss was different than the one in the taxi, it wasn't rushed and impulsive. This was hungry, cathartic, searching, deliberate. There was no shame or guilt behind it, they were completely uninhibited. Her tongue explored every inch of his mouth, and she scraped it along his fangs, drawing out tiny pearls of her sweet blood. He sucked her tongue into his mouth, letting out a primal moan. In less time than a single blink, Elena found herself upstairs, in Damon's cathedral-like loft bedroom. She was face-up on the soft mattress, cheeks already flushed. She couldn't help but be a bit distracted by the space she was in. The entire ceiling was glass skylights, and moonlight filled the room. Damon rushed quickly to the wall, flicking on the lights- industrial globe bulbs hanging from the metal beams. He was standing at the foot of the bed instantly.

"I have to see you, completely in the light. I want to bask every inch of your statuesque body." He dropped to his knees with a thud. Elena heard the sound of ripping fabric followed by the sudden rush of cool air from being exposed. Damon ran his hands over her lace underwear, tracing his fingers along the edges. She shuddered at the light touch, a mischievous grin stretching across his face in response. He tugged at the hem of one of her thigh-high socks, trailing his tongue down the inside of her leg from thigh to ankle as he slowly pulled it off of her. Heightened vampire senses were a gift in moments like this- he could smell her arousal growing painfully. He tied the long thigh-high sock around her wrists, pulling hard enough to leave small bruises, leaving her squirming beneath him before following suit and teasing her other thigh.

_Did she just… giggle when I tied her up. Fuck._

This was better than he ever could have imagined. As he pulled off her other sock, his mouth made its way back up her leg, leaving wet kisses and sucking bright hickeys behind. He paused for a moment at the top of her thigh- it deserved extra attention. He licked the area, drawing delicate shapes with his tongue and driving her completely wild. She bucked her hips up instinctively, starving for him. He paused, taking a moment to look up at her, taking in how gorgeous she was from this angle. Her breasts, still covered by her top, were rising and falling with her unsteady breath. Her hands were above her head, and her arched shoulders made her breasts stand out, as if they were screaming to be touched- but they would have to wait.

He nuzzled his face in between her legs, drinking in her aroma before turning back to her inner thigh. He hovered for a torment-inducing second above her skin before quickly biting down, causing her to cry out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. The second he began to drink, she moaned, her arousal growing even stronger. Still completely clothed, the tightness of the erection in his jeans was so intense it distracted him from savoring her blood. He pulled away and licked his lips, Elena transfixed on his every movement.

He wanted to give her a show, ruin her completely, so he unbuckled his belt slowly, dragging down the zipper in his pants tooth by tooth. Elena bit her lip. She had never seen anything so sexy in her life. She could see the  _v_  his hip bones made with his groin now, jutting out and demanding attention. He latched his thumbs into his waistband, pulling down his jeans and letting them fall to the floor. He stepped out of them, putting him just an inch closer to her, and her breath hitched even from that tiny addition of closeness. She could see how hard he was now- his underwear barely containing him. He dropped back down to her, licking the blood dripping from her thigh and hovering his mouth above her underwear, damp with her want. He yanked the waistband and pulled them down gingerly all the way to her knees before giving into his temptation and just tearing them away. Staring face to face with her womanhood, he traced his finger on her folds and spread them wide. Her perfect labia were engorged with desire- desire for him. He ran his tongue from one side, up to her clit and down the other side, just grazing her clit enough to drive her wild. He aggressively pressed one hand on each of her thighs, spreading them as far as they would go, and he began to devour her. The flavor of her desire was almost as delicious as her blood, and with every flick of his tongue she grew wetter and wetter. She wanted him to put his fingers in her, to pleasure her from the inside, but she was going to have to wait. He wanted to make her come just from his mouth, keeping her eager for him to enter her once he was finished bringing her to completion. Her muscles began to tense underneath of his hands as he sucked gently on her bundle of nerves.

" _Damon."_ she cried out his name. He looked up at her and smirked. He knew what she was missing- what would really bring her over the edge. He bit down on his wrist, drawing out blood and held his wrist to her mouth. She took a few long drinks before he pulled away and went back to eating her out. He could barely handle how absolutely lascivious she looked with his blood smeared on her lips, his erection twitching with desire. He moved his head between her legs, dividing his attention between licking her decadent folds and stimulating her clit. It only took a few moments before she started to quiver, and he knew what was coming next- rather, who was coming next. She let out an ear-piercing scream, his name echoing off of the glass ceiling as she called it out. He sank his tongue inside of her, hungry for every taste of her orgasm. Her walls pulsated around his tongue as he held down her thighs, twitching wildly underneath his grasp. When her body relaxed, he came back up, pushing her into the middle of the bed so she was no longer on the edge. He got on top of her, untying her wrists. She shot up, kissing him in gratitude and tasting herself- and her blood- on his tongue. She bit his lip, drinking in more of his whiskey-laced blood, conjuring a deep groan to rumble through his core. At this point, the mixture of sex and blood sharing completely intoxicated them, and linked them in every way possible. Their thoughts mixed in together, and they didn't even have to express what they wanted- they just knew.

Their clothes were completely gone. Elena straddled Damon, her entrance hovering just inches above his throbbing cock. There was no going back from this. She guided him into her and put her hands on his chest, lowering herself down his length. They both heaved in a deep breath, letting out a deep sigh at the contact. He gripped her hips as she began to move up and down his shaft, her perky breasts bouncing with each movement. She scraped her long, dark manicured nails down his chest, leaving deep red marks in their wake. Soon, she leaned over him, holding out her neck to him. He bit down drinking as she continued to pump herself over him. When he broke away, he quickly reached up to his own neck, scraping hard enough to draw blood. Elena drank as quickly as she could before the wound healed, licking circles around it to lap up the rest of the blood once it had closed. As she went back focusing her attention on her movements, she was suddenly flipped around onto all fours. Damon gripped her hips so hard that it broke the skin as he positioned himself to enter her again. From this position, his cock hit Elena in her most sensitive spot- her g-spot. She moaned with his first thrust, pushing herself back into him. They moved in complete synchronization. Damon released her hips to instead grip her by her long, chestnut hair. He could sense that she loved the pain he was dealing- everyone always treated her too gently. She reveled in this rough sex- she had never had anything like it before. He bit her on the shoulder blade, taking just enough blood to make her pulse soar. She was starting to grow dizzy as she approached her next orgasm, but this time, she wasn't coming alone. Damon thrust into her faster, pushing her chest down completely on the bed and holding her there. Her back was arched completely, the curve of her spine showing the beads of sweat from their lovemaking. Her walls began to tighten around him, and he growled as waves of pleasure began to rip through their bodies. He flipped them over so that they were face to face as they rode out the pleasure. They screamed each other's names as their bodies crashed together, hot and ravenous. As the pleasure tapered off, Elena's vision began to grow dark, her eyes taking in Damon's most devilish smirk yet before they drifted closed. She was incredibly dizzy. He leaned in to whisper in her ear.

"Sorry, I'm a bit of a  _heavy drinker_." He bit is wrist and held it to her mouth. She drank eagerly.

"I need you better for the morning- there's more where this came from."


	11. It's easier to live a lover's lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, you only believe what you want yourself to believe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Don't worry, there will be plenty of Delena next chapter, and I think you guys will really like it. Again, I love all of your reviews, and if you make suggestions I'll do my best to work them into the next chapters!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, the characters, the stories or the Salvatore boarding house. If I did, I would definitely explain how the boarding house stays so clean.
> 
> Chapter Title Song Credit: I'm a Ruin by MARINA

 

* * *

Mystic falls

The perky sound of whistling echoed through the Salvatore Boarding House- it was 8:30 in the morning. Stefan was grinding coffee beans to make a pot of french-press coffee. He was practically bouncing around the kitchen as he went about the cathartic and indulgent ritual, chasing the caffeine that always calmed his cravings. A new whistle sounded in the kitchen, this time from the singing kettle. As he poured the hot water over the freshly ground beans, he aroma filled the air in a cloud of steam. The scent woke up Caroline, her keen senses perking up at the promise of coffee. Panic sank in though as she glanced over at the other couch, finding Bonnie still sound asleep, leaving the barista a mystery. She quietly stood up, carefully tip-toeing to the kitchen, on high alert for whoever she was about to encounter.

 _Who breaks into a house to make coffee? What kind of game are they playing? Mind games like this- the only person it could be was Klaus. Or wait- Damon lives here- it's probably just Damon?_ Her shoulders relaxed for a second, before she remembered a missing piece to that solution.  _Shit. No. Not possible- the deafening sound of his ancient car would have woken me up before the smell off coffee. He never goes anywhere without his car. Shit. Shit. Shit. Who else has been invited into the house? It couldn't be Alaric. I asked him to come last night and he said he wouldn't be here until late tonight. It has to be Klaus- or Elijah. No, Elijah was more up-front. If this is Klaus trying to get on my good side with morning coffee, I swear to god I am going to rip his hybrid heart out._

She tensed as she stood right at the door for the kitchen, trying to listen for any hints of who it was. She heard whistling, but any of the cocky men they knew would do that. The scent was undeniably male, musky and mysterious.  _But is that a hint of… clean sun dried linen?_ She couldn't separate it much though from the heavy, distinctive Salvatore scent though.  _Maybe it's Damon and he just… crashed his car or something?_ Carefully turning the corner, she stopped dead in her tracks when she realized who it was.

"Stefan. How are you here right now… you were locked in the…"

"Locked in the basement holding cell? Heavily vervained? I know Caroline, I was the one who asked to be restrained in the first place." He pressed down the plunger on the press, pouring the coffee gingerly into an antique porcelain cup. "Do you want some?" His misty green eyes were sparkling with blissful energy. Caroline was very suspicious of this situation- someone had to have let him out. She meekly nodded her head as he poured her a delicate cup of coffee, with purple violets on the outside. She spoke slowly and calmly. Stefan was still dangerous right now, his emotions from being dumped by Elena clouding his judgement, making his ripper instincts threaten to return.

"So… who let you out of the basement" She raised the cup to her rosy lips, taking a hesitant sip before letting the scalding liquid warm her insides.

"Elena! She's back. She came back late last night and let me out of the basement, I guess she let you sleep? She's upstairs right now!" His eyes showed an uncomfortable level of excitement, and Caroline was still chalking this up to denial.  _Hallucinations maybe? Maybe a vampire bit him? There's no way Elena is here right now._

"Stefan, now don't freak out, but there is no way that Elena is upstairs right now." A genuine panic flashed across his face. "Listen: do you hear any human heartbeat coming from upstairs?

"Caroline you're being ridiculous. I hear Bonnie's but you know I can't hear heart beats that far away because I only drink animal blood"

"Fine. Do you smell her. We are hunters, even without human blood you would be able to smell her a few rooms away."

"I don't know Caroline, she showered after we…"

"Wait, you're telling me that you believe Elena would come back, in the middle of the night, unannounced, un-dump you, and then immediately have sex with you?" His expression fell blank.

"Caroline, she loves me. I thought we agreed that whatever was happening, she was compelled or she's been kidnapped. None of us can find her!"

"No Stefan. We found her last night. While you were still downstairs, before we went to sleep, we found her using a special locator spell. She's in New York. Whoever came in between when we went to sleep and this morning could not be Elena. There's no way she could even fly and get back from the airport in that time. Be reasonable-" Caroline was beginning to put two and two together, realizing there was only one answer to this question- only one person could be responsible for this. Stefan's rage was building, and as his stone-cold face turned pale, veins popping out and eyes going red, he gripped the fine china cup to the point of it exploding, shattering into hundreds of pieces. The porcelain cut his hands, but the cuts healed almost instantly.

"Fine then." He growled. "I'll just show you and prove you wrong" He grabbed Caroline and lifted her over his shoulder, caveman style, and rushed her upstairs at vampire speed.

"Elena, Caroline wants to say Hel-" He flung open the door to a completely empty room, the windows open, letting cool morning air billow the dusty curtains.

"No no no. She can't- I couldn't have- Why didn't I realize it was her" Tears began to well in his eyes, and Caroline waited a few moments before telling him what he already knew.

"You are so desperate to have her back that you would believe anything. You were so caught up in the thought of her being back that Katherine was able to fool you. Even… in bed. She must have found out Elena…. you know…. and decided it was time for her to swoop in. She loves to ruin everyone's lives. You know that. Why don't we just go downstairs, finish the coffee, maybe go hunting until Bonnie wakes up. We know where Elena is now. I'm not saying that she's not compelled or under a spell- she most likely is. You know she wouldn't act like this. If you just stay calm, we can work together to start to come up with a plan to get her back. If you can't stay calm, we can always put you back on emotional post-breakup quarantine."

* * *

Last night

Footsteps echoed through the hallway of the basement, stirring Stefan within his dusty cell. The vervain that had been weighing down his veins, feeling as heavy as lead, must have worn off quite a bit while he was sleeping. Hazily, he hoisted himself up to his feet, leaning on the cool, damp wall. Not a single drop of blood, animal or otherwise, had entered his body since he was locked down here, dulling his senses to the point where he had no idea who was approaching. When the footsteps were almost at the door, he swore he could smell Elena's bright, peony jasmine perfume. The rusted latch strained to unlock- a problem that vampires never had with the door. As the door inched open, a familiar, slender silhouette was back-lit by the dim hallway utility lights. He was consumed by shock at what he saw. Thirst had rendered his throat dry, making it almost impossible to speak.

"Elena…" he managed to croak out the words, his voice weak and scratchy. His eyes were gravely as he tried to adjust to the light.

"Stefan? What have they done to you?!" Katherine rushed over to him, squeezing him into a tight bear hug. She could tell he was already buying it. This would be easier than she thought. She pulled back, cupping her hands around his face, feigning concern. "You look awful- who did this?" Stefan pulled back from her touch, slamming himself against the wall. There was a faint crumbling sound as dust shook from the old ceiling.

"Elena- No. Stay back. I haven't fed in days. At this point all the vervain in me has worn off. I don't want to hurt you. I'm just… so hungry" He was so paranoid that he didn't even realize that he couldn't smell human blood in the room- because there wasn't any. He didn't notice that 'Elena' was actually Katherine. Katherine put on her best 'cautious Elena who thinks she can help anyone' face', pursing her lips and furrowing her brow. She stepped forward, trying to mimic a zookeeper trying to tend to a skittish animal. Reaching into the purse she stole from Elena's room, she pulled out a water bottle of animal blood.

"I found this in the fridge with Damon's blood bags. I figured you might need it." She held out the bottle of brownish-red blood, watching as the skin around Stefan's eyes hardened and his veins started to crinkle. He instinctively opened his mouth, his fang-filled mouth watering in anticipation. With trepidation, he took the bottle from 'Elena' and opened it with vampire speed, upending it and chugging the thick, gamey animal blood in less than a second. The color began to return to his face and his cloudy eyes returned to their normal brilliant jade. He licked his lips and closed the lid of the now empty bottle.  _Probably to recycle it. Typical 'good boy'_. Katherine had to try her best to not roll her eyes. After a somewhat awkward silent second, Stefan's bushy brows furrowed into a line as he tilted his head. His eyes narrowed a bit as he stared at the unlabeled bottle again.

"How did you know that this was animal blood and not human blood? You took a huge risk there." To Katherine, it had been completely obvious that the bottle had been filled with disgusting, barn-smelling, forest-floor-shitting animal blood. The only thought she had put into the blood selection was that Elena would never give her ripper-boyfriend, well  _ex_  boyfriend, human blood. Katherine had to think fast to come up with a way Elena could've thought it was animal blood.

"Uhh...well it wasn't in a blood bag, and Damon is creepy, but I don't think he would start bottling his sorority girls. It's a bit… darker too I think?"  _Time to reel him in._ "Plus Stefan" She stepped closer to him, interlacing their fingers and looking deep into his eyes. "I trust you. I know you wouldn't waste everything you worked for, no matter how hungry you were. You are too strong for that." She tilted her head slightly to the side, leaning in for a kiss. If he returned the kiss, she was in the clear. So far, he hadn't asked any questions yet about where 'she' had been or why 'she' broke up with him via text, but maybe if she could sweep him off his feet first she could avoid that whole chain of questioning. She was just here to have some fun, after all. Ever since Katherine found out they broke up, the only thing on her mind had been getting Stefan into bed with her. She had some tech-savvy girl she compelled set up a message interceptor on Stefan's phone a while back, and she kept track of the messages from time to time. Usually it was days and days of boring, vomit inducing, lovey-dovey texts between Stefan and Elena, annoying texts from Caroline, or curt, one-message responses from Damon. She hadn't noticed any messages from Elena in days, until the fateful " _It's over.."_  When she saw that, Katherine raced to Mystic Falls, and luckily, Elena was nowhere to be found. Which led her to this moment, crossing her fingers that Stefan was going to kiss her back.

His eyes drifted shut as he closed the gap and pressed his soft lips against hers. Katherine's entire body melted. It had been over a century since Stefan kissed her in such a loving and pure way. The quick makeout in the tomb had been rushed and naughty- mostly just taboo. That version of Stefan hadn't been the one she remembered from 1864, but this Stefan- thinking his love had come to rescue him- this brought her right back to Founder's Day. With his strength back, he rushed her upstairs to his room, carrying her bridal style. Katherine was constantly reminding herself to try and act like the bashful, fairly innocent,  _human_ , Elena. Stefan laid her down on the bed as if she were made of glass, she barely felt her body hit the sheets. He lifted the deep purple tank top over her head and unhooked her pink bra. Her forever-perky tits rose to attention as the felt the cool, night-time air. Katherine couldn't believe she was being undressed in such hideous, teenager clothes from the mall, but Stefan was all over it. He positioned himself on top of her, taking in how beautiful her body looked in the dark. He traced his hand over all the curves he wanted to press kisses to- he always avoided kissing her body because he couldn't handle feeling the pulse of her blood against his lips. Katherine hated this. She never held back during sex. All she wanted to do was flip him over and start riding him, but it did feel nice to have Stefan love her again. He lifted off his shirt, showing off his chiseled abs, eliciting a tiny moan from Katherine. She cursed herself and hoped that Elena wasn't a complete prude, because she couldn't stop herself from starting to fiddle with the buckle of Stefan's jeans. He let out a light chuckle, clearly finding it cute that Elena would be so eager. Once their pants were off, Katherine gave up acting, but Stefan was none the wiser.

She was getting exactly what she wanted, and there was no way she wasn't going to enjoy it.


	12. I die every night with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elena is quite the eager student. If only she would apply herself this much at school...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, the characters, the stories, or any of Damon's fancy residences around the world. If I did, the whole show wouldn't take place in Virginia. Although, Virginia is for lovers ;)
> 
> Chapter Title Song Credit: My My My! by Troye Sivan

_Dear Diary,_

_I know I've been kind of terrible at keeping up with journaling, but for the first time in forever I'm too busy having fun to remember to write. I don't even really know how to describe the feelings or experiences I'm having- they're all so new to me. Clubs, shows, restaurants- god for someone who doesn't need to eat, Damon sure has amazing taste in food!_

_I wouldn't even want to think about how much money I've spent on alcohol alone. We've had nights in with French champagne and nights out where Damon drinks a whole bottle of Grey Goose vodka. A lot of nights are a bit hazy, but I've been indulging in Damon's special… hangover cure enough that I'm more lucid than I ever thought I could be._

_Things here are amazing, I never want to-_

"HEY!" Elena exclaimed as her journal was ripped from her hands. Damon twirled the pen around his fingers before scribbling his own words onto the page, reading them aloud.

"Dear  _Diary._ I'm Elena Gilbert and I was making the sexiest man in the world, the definition of an Adonis, really, wait for me in the steamy, marble shower." His voice danced along the words in high sing-song tone. "A shower he specifically designed with only sex in mind and plenty of room for Damon to fuck me again until I forget my own name. I sure hope he doesn't  _punish_  me for making him wait." Tossing the journal to the side, he dragged her by her legs until she was laying right on the edge of the bed.

"Damon…" Elena giggled. He stood between her legs, tracing his fingers over her skin with a feather-light touch. She was wearing one of his white t-shirts, emphasizing her summer tan, her dark hair splayed in a messy morning-after halo around her head. He had been serious about the shower part, and he was already mostly undressed, wearing just a pair of tight, black boxer-briefs. It was a sleepy, late summer morning and rain was pattering against the glass skylights. It was an undeniable fact that Elena was the most beautiful creature in the world, and it took every ounce of Damon's self control to not to turn her right now, keep her this way forever. But there was something about how humanity suited her. He would let her stay this way a little longer, let her pretend that she didn't want to be like him eventually.

Arguably, one of the most gorgeous aspects of her humanity was the blood flowing through her veins, screaming to him from just below the surface of her diaphanous young skin. His fingertips could feel her pulse, pumping blood at record speed to her core. Even these delicate touches were making her hot for him. Breathing in deep, Damon could smell her arousal building- she was so easy with him. A quiet grunt escaped his mouth as he grabbed her thighs harder before sliding his hands up to grip the plump flesh where her thighs met her hips. Her pelvis bucked in response, begging for him to to take her. She was so eager. He wanted to hear her actually beg though- he could never get over hearing Elena say she wanted him.

" _Eleennnna…_ Is there something you want from me?" The pounding of her heart combined with the tip-tapping of the rain on the windows to create a percussive song. She blushed as he reached underneath the t-shirt and lightly tickled her sides.

"If you want something princess, you have to ask nicely, or else I'm just going to throw you over my shoulder and drag you into the shower…" She went to cover her blushing face with her hand, but he snatched it up, placing a soft kiss to her palm. He was so hungry, but he was in no danger of losing self control. This moment was about teasing her with gentleness- showing her that even the sweetest gestures can make her hot and bothered.

"Damon…"

" _Si, cuore mio?"_ He leaned in and whispered into her hair, brushing a few stray strands from her shoulder. He traced his cool hands over her collar bone before standing back up to admire the effects of his handiwork.  _Could her blush get any redder?_  The Italian trick was really making her swoon. This was a level of expert flirtation he hadn't used on her before- clearly it was very effective.

"Can you… you know." He raised an eyebrow. Her slender hips writhed underneath of her, signaling her extreme need for release. He knew what she was asking for, but shy, sober Elena needed to say the words.

"Can I … what,  _tesoro?"_ He licked his lips, taunting her. She was becoming completely undone by his evil flirtation. She took in a deep breath and attempted to come up with a composed, mature response.

"I want you to… eat me out. It was…. Pretty amazing when you did that last night." She didn't tell him that nobody had ever eaten her out to the point of orgasm before then. Now that she'd had it, she wanted more.

"Only  _pretty_  amazing? Well,  _honeysuckle_ , that hurts my feelings. I haven't been honing my craft for over 150 years for a girl to say I'm only  _pretty_ amazing. Especially when I made you come what, 5 times last night? That made my decision easy- you're getting punished." Leveraging his vampire strength and speed, he picked her up in one swift motion, yanking her t-shirt off in the process. Her skin was now against his chest, and it made her breath hitch. She was completely naked now, gorgeous and begging to be fucked. He sped to the shower to put her down before ripping off his boxer-briefs at lightning speed.

The shower was the size of a small room, the walls covered in marble and the doors floor to ceiling glass. Through the glass, Elena could see herself in the mirrors, realizing that it was possible to view any act going on in the shower. He was right, it was made for sex. There was a small stone bench built in to one corner, and Elena could only imagine what lewd acts had taken place there before, and what was about to come. The hot steam was making Elena a bit dizzy, and Damon used this to his advantage once he jumped back into the shower. He spun her around so that her back was pressed against the cold stone and her hands were pinned on either side of her head.

"Now, what was it that you wanted again?" He smirked at her. "Sorry, it's hard for me to remember when I'm this hungry, impossible really…" She tensed up and he chuckled under his breath. He loved that he could still have a predatory edge. Sometimes it was fun to play with her, remind her that he was still a monster. A sharp fang dragged down from behind Elena's ear down to her collar bone, Elena's chest thrusting forward as a jagged breath escaped her pouty, plump lips. Such intense, concentrated pain made Elena painfully turned on. A knife-like cut was now traced on her neck, small drops of blood rising to the surface. Damon paused his tongue at the bottom of the wound. He was going to lick it up slowly, knowing how that would drive her wild, but decided instead that it was time to welcome her into his wild world. She was in Damon's world now, and she had to know it. He removed his tongue and looked Elena in the eye as he ran his finger up the cut, collecting the thick beads of blood. His face was hardened, black veins out and eyes crimson. Elena expected him to lick the blood off his finger, but instead, he placed his finger to her lips, never once breaking eye contact. It felt naughty, but she let him slide his finger in her mouth.

"See how good you taste?" She sucked him in, trailing her tongue along his finger. Her own coppery taste filled her mouth until he pulled away, smearing her own blood down her chin as he removed his finger. She wanted to feel the bliss of him feeding from her. Heat built between her thighs just thinking about it, but he was torturing her by messing with her like this.

"You look so gorgeously unholy with blood on your lips,  _especially mine."_  Her heart skipped, eager to get her fix. He grabbed her wrists again, his grip impossible for any human to escape. "But right now, this is about me. You made me wait, remember? Who knows how much warm water we have left, so I'm going to enjoy each second I get with you in here." He let go roughly, stepping back into the middle of the shower. He wet his midnight hair, combing through it with his fingers.

"Come stand under the water. Now." She took a shy step forward underneath the rainfall shower head. He lifted her chin, letting her head tilt backwards. The water flowed through her curtain of sable locks, darkening them to almost match his hair. She let out a contented sigh at the feeling of warm water streaming over her body.

"This doesn't seem like punishment." She purred to him. From where she was standing, it seemed like he had gone from ravenous to sweet and gentle with the flick of a switch.

"Oh don't worry, this is just a necessary evil. I have a thing for girls with wet hair, it's very  _Fast Times at Ridgemont High,_ not that you're old enough to remember that movie." Once she was good and wet, he was ready to continue on his plan.  _Time to catch her off guard._ She found herself again, tossed against the marble walls, but this time she was on the back wall facing the glass doors. "I want you to watch yourself now, Elena." He was using the same tone he used during compulsion- steady and commanding. "I want you to see yourself in the mirror, see how you feel when you're with me." He bit into her left breast hard, sucking down a few gulps of blood before pulling away. He gave both breasts a firm squeeze as blood trickled steadily from her fresh fang marks. He wanted her to get a full picture of how risque and kinky she really was. He dropped to his knees, giving Elena the perfect view of herself in the mirror. She quickly realized he had chosen this position for a reason.

"Now,  _boss lady_ , I think I just remembered what you wanted." He nuzzled his face into her mound, reaching up with one hand to stroke her folds. She quivered at the touch, and it was time for Damon to start playing his game. He turned his head away from her pussy, biting deep into her inner thigh. He drank for over a minute, digging into her one thigh with his hand while reaching the other hand up to tease her. When he broke away, he looked up at her, his mouth completely covered in her blood.

"So if you didn't notice, we are playing a little game. The rules are simple: Every time you quiver, shiver, or respond in any innocent way to something, I get to drink from you. Every time you are especially forward, I give you a little taste of my blood. But if you just play along? I'll keep giving you what you want."

Her breath was heavy. "You're just playing this game because you're hungry."

"No, I'm playing this game with you because you need to admit how much you love this. How naughty you really are. You showed me last night, Elena Gilbert, that you are far from innocent. " Before she had a chance to speak he dove back into her core, dancing his tongue around her clit. He sucked on it, pulling all the blood to the surface, making it all the more sensitive. He alternated between gentle and forceful for a few minutes before shoving two fingers into her without warning. She let out a gasp.

_As if she hasn't had something MUCH bigger than that in her vagina in the past 12 hours._ He rolled his eyes- she was not very good at this game.

He stood up a bit higher on his knees, grabbing her around the waist. He placed his mouth on her side, just an inch or so above her hip bone, kissing the spot gently before biting down. Even for humans who were turned on by being fed on, Damon knew that this spot always caused pain. No matter how much the human liked being bit. She yelped, but her juices flowed even stronger now. The pain made Elena even more lightheaded, adding to the swimming feeling from blood loss.

"You're not very good at following my rules Elena. Not that you ever have been very good at that." He dragged his tongue down from her hip bone to her pussy, starting back where he had left off. Looking at herself in the mirror, Elena could see that she was covered in her own blood. The heat of the shower had increased her blood pressure, and she was bleeding much more than normal. She looked like a vampire's lover. He swirled his tongue around her clit, pumping his fingers in and out of her. He could tell she was close, and he couldn't wait for her to watch herself cum in the mirror, covered in her own, fresh, blood.

* * *

There was something about a roof party that made Elena feel like a sophisticated socialite, a far cry from the cute but tragic high school cheerleader she was at home. Mystic Falls, with its less-than-4-stories-high buildings couldn't capture this type of magic- the rooftops there were only places where sketchy, tragic, supernatural events happened. Globe lights were suspended from posts, criss-crossing through the space. The glow of the city made it impossible to see any stars, making the only celestial body in the sky the moon. There was one body on the roof though that was damn near close to celestial- Damon. It was cool enough for him to be wearing a leather jacket over a deep red v-neck. Maybe nobody else was aware, but to Elena, his look screamed  _vampire_  in the sexiest, most tempting way possible. The color reminded her of how he looked with her blood smeared on his lips, how he looked when he bit into his wrist to give her blood, how he looked when she sliced into his perfect, pale skin to drink him in.

"You know Elena, I can always tell when you're looking at me. It's impossible to ignore the sound of your blood rushing." He didn't even turn around to look at her, he just smirked to himself and kept navigating through the crowd toward the bar.

_Shit he-_

"Caught you looking? Yes I did. Although, I kind of regret telling you, so that I could've seen you eyeing me up. But, it's not like I haven't seen you do that nearly almost every day since I've known you." Elena didn't notice that at this point, Damon wasn't just completing her sentences, he was completing her thoughts. It was so natural to them at this point.

They didn't hold hands as they walked- that wasn't what their relationship was about. This city was still a game to both of them, each doing exactly what they wanted, not wanting to get tied down right away and written off as a couple. It was much more fun if people thought they were single. After all, neither of them had actually breached the topic of what they were doing, what their relationship was. The jealousy of watching each other get drooled over by strangers would make their sex tonight amazing, rough and heated. At the end of the day, they knew they owned each other, but they were still out to have their fun, get drunk, and party.

Elena got to the bar, leaning over a stool, getting painfully close to the bartender. Damon had to do a quick double take, because it looked like she was compelling him. She wasn't though, her breasts were. His eyes drew down to her low-cut dress, and she caught him, a smirk pulling at her red-painted lips- red painted lips that matched Damon's shirt perfectly, but she  _definitely_  didn't do that on purpose. Biting her lip, she ordered a vodka soda, and without passing over any form of ID or credit card, he handed her a drink.

_Damn, I taught her well. She's downright devilish._ He mentally patted himself on the back.

Elena walked a few feet down the bar to where Damon was sitting, sliding quietly into the stool next to him. Leaning in, she was whispering so quietly that no human could have possibly heard.

"It's hard to be a bad student when you have the  _best_ teacher."

She put the tiny black straw in her mouth, puckering her lips around it in a smile before she hopped back off the stool to work the crowd. She looked perky and angelic. Sexy, but still with such exuberant young energy. As she sipped her bubbly alcohol, she weaved through the mingling bodies, some chatting and some dancing. She chatted up a brunette who reminded her a bit too much of Stefan. She half listened to his stories about being some kind of financial lawyer before getting bored and moving toward a red-head with a beard.

_A ginger, really Elena?_ He rolled his eyes. She was allowed to have her fun, even if it was a terrible choice.

Damon was chatting up another in his historic line of blondes. She was sitting in his lap, her blue dress puddling across his legs. Elena looked over- he was making her laugh.

_Does he have to be so disgustingly charming all the time?_ She wondered when he would get around to snacking. It seemed like a dangerous game to play, feeding from pale blondes in baby-blue dresses. Any hint of blood would stand out like a sore thumb.  _Maybe that's why he likes it. The challenge._   _He did have years to hone his craft after all._

They tried desperately to go their separate ways, but really they were just playing a jealousy game, never paying attention to other people, thoughts constantly transfixed on each other. Damon swore he could hear her whisper some of her snarky retorts under her breath, but he heard them when she was busy laughing at some Harvard Alum or pretending to be interested in some guy's band, her mouth pressed into a 'serious' listening face. After playing the game for an hour or so, Elena stood staring out at the still busy-streets below and towering buildings above. They were on the roof of a 22 floor building, which only stood about half as tall as the buildings in the surrounding neighborhood. It was still breathtakingly beautiful, and Elena still couldn't imagine ever getting bored of this.

She felt a comforting, strong, leather-covered arm slip around her waist. Closing her eyes, she let herself savor the simple touch that could make her feel so safe, yet so strong. The smell of bourbon, leather and musk filled her lungs- the intoxicating aroma of Damon. She let her eyes drift open so she could keep taking in the view, but she rested her head on the crook between his shoulder and his chest. Even with heels on, she was a bit too short to rest her head on his shoulder while standing. Instinctively possessive, he wrapped his other arm around her stomach, holding her close to his body as they stayed there quietly, enjoying the moment. Minutes went by before either said a word, their minds humming with pleasure and their hearts beating loud enough for their own conversation. Timidly, Elena finally spoke up.

"I've made up my mind." She stayed staring straight ahead, and Damon nuzzled his head into the top of hers before responding.

"I thought you already did, which is why you're here with me right now. Why you were in my bed this morning…."

"No, about something else." Her voice was a bit sleepy, and he made a note that they should probably head home soon.

"Alright, doppelganger oracle, then why don't you stop speaking in riddles and just spit it out?" He grabbed her shoulders, a little harder than necessary, spinning her around so they were face to face. His mind was racing, worrying that she was going to take it back, go back to Stefan. He couldn't stand the thought of losing her- not after they'd gone through all of this. He always played tough, but this would break him. He knew she probably didn't love him, but he at least wanted to have this shot to win her over- it was his only chance.

"Damon…  _shh_." She reached out and stroked his face. He would never get used to being treated gently, like he was beloved, valued. His blue eyes fluttered closed as he luxuriated in the moment. "No, it's nothing like that. I'm not changing my mind about what I want- about wanting you." It was moments like this where the elevated emotions of vampirism could get Damon in trouble, as a tear was welling in his eye.

"Look at me." Elena put her hands on his cheeks, establishing fiercely protective eye contact. "I would never do that to you. You make me feel more alive than I thought I could feel." Moving her hands down to his shoulders, she took in a deep breath. "That's why I've made up my mind to stay here- to not return to Mystic Falls. I can't go back there, even just saying the name feels strange on my tongue. There hasn't been anything there for me except danger, pain, and hurt since my parents died. Every place, every smell, every holiday- it all brings up painful memories. Here, I can start over. Screw school, I can either finish here or you can compel me a GED or something. I love my friends, I love them more than anything- Bonnie, Caroline, Matt- but for once, I'm making a decision that's just about me. You taught me that it is okay for me to prioritize myself. I don't want to be anyone's charity case, damsel, or magical pawn. At least here, the dynamics on all of that would change. You don't treat me like I'm broken- that's why I want to stay here... well… if you let me that is. "

Damon's brow furrowed, his eyes searching hers for any sign of possible regret. He was deciding whether or not he could let himself be open, emotional and honest right now. By this point, the party was over, and it was only them standing on the quiet, dark roof. Only a few of the string lights were on, casting a shadowy light on their skin. The moment was already so raw, so beautiful, and he decided to give in, handing his emotions full control.

"Elena-" He took both of her hands and tugged her closer to him. "I don't want you to go back either.  _We_  don't have to go back. We can stay here- be happy here. I will do anything to make your life here happy- it's my number one priority. I was… afraid to tell you that. There, I said it- afraid. But if you want to stay, of course I would let you- at this point, I might beg you even. Your wish, your whim- we can follow each one. We can travel if you want, I can compel you into whatever fancy university here you want to study at. If you don't like the loft, we can find somewhere else. I don't care Elena. I never want you to go back there to your miserable life, and I'm happy you don't want to either. You deserve so much more. But what you want, that's your choice. I'll never make choices for you like everyone else does. You're strong, smart, capable. I'm just here to help you along the way. I just know that I don't want you to go back, and I don't want to either. Tell me you'll stay here with me, please. Just… tell me again." Big, warm tears were welling in her sparkling, tipsy, hazelnut eyes. She smiled wide, cocking her head to the side.

"Damon Salvatore, can I stay with you in your fancy loft in New York, indefinitely, and never ever move back to Mystic Falls?"

"Well, since you asked so nicely…" He smiled- genuinely, not a smirk for once. He was trying to hide how his joy made him want to cry too. He was about to swoop her down and dip her, giving her a 1950's movie-worthy kiss, but Elena interrupted him. She placed her hand on his firm chest, pausing for a moment.

"I wasn't finished." Elena nervously bit the inside of her cheek, inhaling deeply before leaning into him. Her warm breath tickled his cheek as she whispered.

"I want to start over here. I want to start over  _completely._ I want to have this much fun…  _forever._ " Heat grew inside of him as she finally confessed to him her deepest desire. He never thought that she would want to turn. She was always adamant about loving being human, about never wanting to become a vampire. He knew that in the past few weeks something new had ignited in Elena- a type of growing up that he knew she was capable of but nobody else would have anticipated. A decision like this though, he had thought would take years of discovering herself to decide on. His eyes narrowed, and a strange protective energy shot through him.

"That's not something you can just allude to. You need to tell me what it is that you mean by  _forever._ You need to tell me what you want. " He wanted to rip off her compulsion necklace, to get an honest answer out of her on this, no games or rebellious streaks tainting it, but he knew Elena would hate that.

"I want to start over here. As a vampire. I want to be strong, so that I am nobody's weakling anymore, so that I can take care of myself." Something wild and unhinged flashed in Damon's eyes, his pupils widening and his vampire features appearing. The same instincts that made him want to feed her were coupled with a dark desire to turn her, to sire her. It was part of vampire nature, feed and turn. The temptation was so strong- if her human blood tasted so good to him, her vampire blood was bound to be even better- only the kinkiest, most bonded vampires shared blood. His conscience was slipping, but he was able to hold himself back just enough to not do anything rash. He was going to give her a taste of that danger though.

He went back to his initial plan of twirling her around and dipping her, her back arched dramatically as she was supported by just his right arm. Instead of dipping her in place though, he had jumped up on top of the the part of the roof where the bar was- where there was no railing. She was dangling a little over 22 floors above the streets, the cool rush of air from jumping giving her goosebumps.

"Is that what you really want, Elena?" His monster eyes stared down at her, blood red. "You still have my blood in your system from this morning, but just to be sure…." The crunch of Damon biting his arm was followed by a bloody wrist being pushed against Elena's mouth. Her chin was covered in smears of red, her red lipstick indistinguishable from Damon's blood. He expected the shock and reality of the situation to make her nervous, but her response was a naughty smirk. A piece of the puzzle he forgot- the taste of his blood would only give her more courage.

"Do it." Time seemed to stop for a second before Damon's conscience barged back in, full speed. He pulled her up and back into his arms, jumping them back down to the level with the safe railing. He didn't want Elena playing any suicide games right now.

"Of course I'll turn you if you want, it would be an honor, actually, to turn the angelic Elena Gilbert. But,  _party princess_ , I won't do it when you're not sober. The five vodka sodas you had definitely counteract that part of the clause." To lighten the mood a bit, he poked her on the nose, laughing as her still intoxicated eyes fluttered. He put both hands on her face and leaned in. "Plus, I couldn't stand to see your pretty little face splattered on the pavement like that. I've never quite seen how a vampire would heal from having their skull plastered all over Park Ave, but I'd rather not find out." Elena narrowed her eyes before smirking at him.

"Well then, how about I get a little practice in first?" She pulled a delicate pin out of her hair. It shined like a small sword in the moonlight, the end as sharp as a knife. Damon had never seen this silver trinket before, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't intrigued. Her smirk didn't waver as he raised his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side. She looped one arm around his neck, pressing his head to the side.

"I've made things a little easier for myself. Leveled the playing field."

She dragged the blade down his neck, jokingly stabbing two fang-like holes side by side before slicing his jugular. Her lips pressed to the wound, she drank like she was trying to bleed him dry.

_She is going to be very good at this._ Damon thought to himself as he became overpowered by the pleasure of her taking in his essence.

"I  _know_  I'll be good at this, I had the best teacher after all."


	13. You'd Have Said it was the Final Straw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries
> 
> Notes: There is no smut here, just subtext. Sorry my smut fans! It's really hard to write things that aren't about Delena, so this took me FOREVER! Next chapter is a lot of angst and hurt/comfort so it should be easier. (it will also have at least one flashback to a NYC Delena moment!)

 

_Back in Mystic Falls, that morning_

Alaric really needed a shower. He had headed to Mystic Falls as fast as he could after getting the news from Caroline that Elena had dumped Stefan. Everyone was rushing around the boarding house, trying to figure out what was wrong with Elena because clearly she had been compelled, was a hostage, possessed, something crazy. There were pages from grimoires thrown about, piles of Elena's hair brushes, clothes and photos for locator spells. Caroline was going downstairs every few minutes to take Stefan more animal blood, doing her best to calm him down. Teachers can usually handle chaos, but he was completely out of his depth on this one. He put his bag down right as Caroline vampire sped back up the stairs from the cellar.

"Don't go unpacking yet, we're going to New York! Do you want to drive or should I-"

"Hello to you too, Caroline. Sure, I can drive, you don't seem particularly, uh- "  _stable. Poor word choice, Ric. Try something honest but gentle, come on, you work with kids._ "... calm enough to drive. Why don't you just, focus on the details?"

"Ok, I'll grab Bonnie and Stefan"

"Is it really smart to bring both of them? Bonnie is our best witch, should we really put her in danger for a lead that probably isn't dangerous? And Stefan is still on homicide watch in the basement? Why don't we get Damon to help with this, where is he anyway?"

"Damon's not here. He hasn't been here in weeks. Clearly you can't be a help in a missing person's case if you're-"

"If you're missing?"  _Has nobody put two and two together here? Elena is missing. Damon is missing. Elena broke up with Stefan. Come on, they couldn't be that blind, right?_  Not that Alaric was particularly fond of the idea of Elena with Damon- he hated it actually, she was way too young for him- it seemed like Caroline might be missing some of the more nuanced details here. He didn't want to cause conflict, and pointing out to Caroline that she overlooked a detail might actually make her murderous.

"Exactly, so there is no Damon card in this deck right now. Stefan has to come- this is Elena after all! They are in  _LOVE._  But fine, you're right we'll leave Bonnie here. We can ask for her witchy advice over the phone. Let me call Jeremy and Matt to come over and give Bonnie some solid bodyguards."

* * *

They were able to leave so quickly that it was still early enough for the roads to be pretty empty. When you drank as much as Ric, mornings were the worst. Even if he didn't drink the night before he always felt a little hungover. He should probably stop drinking so much, but it was hard not to when his life was such a mess, especially after Klaus possessed him.

The vampires in the car didn't want to stop for any breaks, but Alaric reminded them that he was human, bladder and all. Caroline kept checking the time on her phone the whole five minutes they were in some Maryland rest stop off of 1-95. She called Bonnie when they finally hit New Jersey, just to confirm Elena's location. Bonnie assured them that Elena was still in New York, and that she even gave them an address.

"So the location has been stagnant for about 10 hours, it's a building in SoHo. I did a spell about an hour ago to see if I could get a specific apartment or something by looking through Elena's eyes. Without uhh… channeling something strong, I was only able to hold the spell for a few seconds, but she was looking out of a skylight, so I'm going to go with top floor." She left out the part where she saw Elena roll over, Damon in bed next to her. She didn't want to risk Stefan going off the handle quite yet. " Let me know what you see when you get there. Call me if you need anything."

"Bonnie Bennet, you never disappoint me. Love you! " Caroline hung up the phone

Finding parking in New York city was almost as difficult as conjuring up plots against Original Vampires. Alaric found a garage a few blocks down from the address, and they tried to nonchalantly lug their duffel bags full of stakes, vervain, wolfsbane and any possible supernatural weapon they could anticipate needing.

They stood outside the door of the tall, stone apartment building and paused before they went in. Caroline could tell how nervous Stefan was, he was shaking a little bit, his hunger flaring up with his heightened emotions. She squeezed his arm, pulling him into a half-side hug.

"I don't know what we are going to find in there, and there is no way I can prepare you for it, but it's going to be fine Stefan. We are going to get her back."

Apartment buildings were always a murky area when it came to the invitation-only vampire rule. All three of them were able to enter the building and the elevator, but when the doors opened directly into an apartment, they stood in trepidation. Stefan had been able to snag the key to tap in the elevator to allow them to go up to the penthouse, but that wasn't necessarily an invitation. Alaric walked in, no problem of course. Caroline hesitantly held out a high-heel boot-clad foot, and was able to step off the elevator before getting that brick-wall feeling of being blocked off.

"Well, at least we don't have to stand in the Elevator." Stefan whispered, stepping out of the elevator onto the one-foot wide door frame they were confined to.

"I don't hear anything, are you sure Bonnie gave us the right address?"

"Caroline, be reasonable. Elena could be anywhere in here- look at this place, it's huge.

"And gorgeous." Caroline's eyes surveyed everything she could see, from the lofted ceilings to the meticulously renovated kitchen.

"Don't you smell Elena here though, Caroline. You drink much more than I do, her scent is undeniable. " Caroline sniffed.

"Oh, yeah, you're right Stefan. "

"The good sign is, that means a human lives here, not a vampire. That means there's a better chance she's not in danger. Plus, when has Bonnie been wrong before." Alaric was trying to use logic against two emotional vampires; a control freak and a murderous, heartbroken ripper. It was somehow kind of working. "I'll scour the place and let you know what I find".

The place was incredibly silent. Alaric walked through the kitchen toward the hallway, noting that clearly Elena was not in the open spaces. He opened the door to Elena's room, scouting bags of new clothes and a few of her trinkets. She definitely was staying here, but the bed seemed unused, clothes piled on top of it. The bathroom was also clear, so he headed back out to go upstairs to the loft. Like anyone who would enter the space, he was in awe of it. It had been raining this morning, but now, in the mid afternoon, a bit of light was peeking through the clouds, filtering through the skylights and casting a romantic glow on the room. He walked up to the bed, where both pillows had clearly been slept on.  _Well, I know where Elena is sleeping now._

Against his better judgement, he pulled back the covers, just to see if he could find one of Elena's hairs to give a solid confirmation that she was sleeping here before breaking the news. There were tiny spots and smears of what was either blood or red lipstick on the sheets. Again, against his better judgement he raised it to his nose to sniff it.  _Blood._  Calming himself down, he was reminded that clearly a human lived here, and humans get scrapes, cuts… periods. He walked into the bathroom and laughed at how ridiculously lavish it was. Even Damon's stone-covered bathroom in the boarding house paled in comparison to this. He noted that there was women's shampoo and toiletries, solidifying that Elena was staying up here, not downstairs. He was about to leave the room, but something caught his eye. A book was thrown off into the corner of the room, pages spayed open.

It was Elena's journal.

Cautious, he picked it up, fanning through the pages to find the most recent entry.

'  _A shower he specifically designed with only sex in mind and plenty of room for Damon to fuck me again until I forget my own name. I sure hope he doesn't punish me for making him wait.'_

Alaric's eyes fluttered in disbelief. This was too much for him to take in. He didn't particularly want to think about Elena- his student- having sex. What he  _really_  didn't want to think about was her having sex with Damon.

_This could be a different Damon, right? If Damon owned this place, Stefan and Caroline would be allowed in. Maybe Elena was just drawn to the name because it seemed…. Rebellious? Could it be a shape-shifter who looks like Damon? Does that count as a mortal owning a home?..._

A tornado of thoughts was pounding through Alaric's head and all he wanted was a bottle of bourbon. Really, any alcohol would do.

_Wait, there is no bourbon in this bedroom. That means it can't be Damon's room. Almost every room of the boarding house has a decanter of at least one kind of alcohol._

This was an incredibly weak defense, but somehow it gave Alaric reassurance. There was no way he could tell Stefan about this- especially if he wasn't completely sure. There would be no way to bring Stefan back from that.

* * *

Alaric walks over to the table with two coffees for his restless vampire companions. The steam rising off of the white ceramic mugs didn't dissuade Stefan from immediately taking a gulp from the hot mug, but Caroline, still remembering her human sensibilities, cradled the mug a few inches before her nose, just enjoying the aroma. Alaric was hoping that the coffee would take the edge off for Stefan and Caroline after hitting a dead end in the apartment. They considered sitting there and waiting to see if she would return, but they figured it would be better to try to keep following the trail. Bonnie said she would do her best to get a more specific location on Elena, but she needed to gather a few more materials to channel some more power. That left the three of them in New York with nothing to do, powerless and waiting.

"Maybe Elena will just, I don't know, appear in this cute coffee shop. I know Elena doesn't really like coffee that much but, I mean she likes cute things right?" Caroline was putting an amount of energy into keeping Stefan calm which to most people would seem insincere, but coming from Caroline, it was the only way she knew how to help. The insincere tone was also her cross to bear- being turned when you are a catty 17 year old girl had a few drawbacks. Stefan didn't doubt her sincerity, the sparkle in Caroline's grey-blue eyes couldn't be faked even with the strongest magic. She was eternally hopeful.

"Caroline.." Stefan put down his coffee and narrowed his eyes in a taunt. His long, slender finger swiped into Caroline's mug, scooping up a dollop of the sugary whipped cream from her fancy hazelnut latte. He licked it off of his finger before finishing his statement. " Sorry, before I was distracted by that mountain of sugar in your hands, I was about to say- there are millions of people in this city, and there have to be hundreds of coffee shops. Even if we consider a scenario where Elena is here on her own free will, maybe for adventure or something, I doubt she would be craving a hot coffee in late August." Caroline's eyes narrowed into thin slits; she did not appreciate teen boy sass- even if it was coming from 150 year old vampires.

"First: Iced coffee exists. Get with the times. Haven't you ever heard of a frappucino? I know things have gotten different in the past 150 years but, really?"

"Caroline, keep your voice down, do you want the whole place to know about you guys. Keep those teeth in your mouth too, don't you go thinking I didn't notice them starting to poke out." He whispered in an authoritative, fatherly tone- his teacher side was showing. Caroline closed her eyes and gingerly took a sip of her latte. The combination of sugar and caffeine did wonders for an on-edge vampire.

"Second. Never. Touch. My. Whipped. Cream. Especially if you're just going to make fun of it. Girls are allowed to like things. Girly things. Silly things. God, Stefan. Feminism- get with the program. I know I'm a blonde teenager, but that doesn't give you the right to make fun of me.  _Or I'll rip your hero-hair head off"_  That last part was too quiet for Alaric to hear, but Stefan still laughed. Caroline was objectively cute when she was angry, and Stefan wasn't oblivious to this.

"So Ric, You're sure that there wasn't anything in there that could be a clue to where Elena was now?" Stefan's jade eyes went from joking to serious in a second.

_Yeah Stefan, I found her journal. I could've kept reading it. But I saw the word 'sex' on the page, panicked and got out of there._ Alaric was struggling to find a way to lie, knowing full and well that both vampires would both be able to hear his nervous heart accelerate.

"I found traces of her staying there. Her clothes were in one of the rooms, I even found a hairbrush." His stomach was in knots when he thought about the journal.  _Should I just lie by mentioning it but leaving out details?_  He decided to take the route Bonnie did and spare Stefan the details without completely leaving him out of the loop.  _Yes, plausible deniability. That will protect me._

"I also found her journal. The details in it were pretty vague, just stuff about her having fun in New York. She seems to be having… a really good time here."  _Shit, nice Ric. Definitely not suspicious. This is how you get your head bitten off by a ripper._ A few spidery red veins flickered across Stefan's sclera before he took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose, turning his face down.

"Please explain to me, before I go completely insane, why you didn't mention the journal yet." Alaric would have to choose his words carefully.

"I didn't want to steal it. If she is under the influence of someone evil, the last thing we want is completely undeniable evidence that someone tampered with the apartment."

"And us compelling the desk concierge to give us the spare key  _wasn't_ evidence enough?" Her voice dripping with contempt, Caroline somehow seemed angrier than Stefan.

"Caroline, you compelled him. He won't remember. You even compelled him to erase the video footage. We're covered. You are nothing if not thorough, which is why you should be on my side for this."

"Ugh, fine. What are we going to do then. We can't just sit here and do nothing. Should we figure out where we can stay? Maybe a hotel or-" Caroline was interrupted by her cell phone ringing. She flipped it open eagerly, the pink metal reflecting light.

"HEY! BONNIE!  _PLEASE_  tell me you have some good news. We really need it."

"Hey Care. I was able to get the other things I needed. It was just some herbs and talismans. I'm trying to create a locator spell that's a bit more specific."

"More specific than the one where you looked through her eyes? How can you get more specific than that?"

"It's a little complicated, but it can be broken down into tracing back some of Elena's memories to see exactly where she is this time. I didn't want to trust on luck alone since, you know, the map location isn't very specific in a tall city."

"Yeah totally over my head. I don't get that at all but as long as it works…"

"Well that was what I was about to tell you. It only works once the sun has set since it draws on moon energy. So that means you'll have to wait until the sun sets and then I'll give you a more specific location. I'll give you her general location before sunset with a standard, easy location spell to keep my energy up, and then the second sunset happens I'll start the more complicated spell."

"Ugh fine but can't you just tell us where she is now?"

"Caroline, if you stalk her without knowing exactly where she is, you risk her seeing you and bolting, or whoever she is with noticing you're there and that could put her in more danger either way. If you just stick with this plan, we have the best chance of this not backfiring. I also cast a simple alert spell by using a vial of Elena's blood I had lying around that will tell me if her life is in danger, that way I can at least give you the general location of where she is in short notice. If you really want to know the specifics on that one, it relies on how much blood she has lost or hemorrhages, super basic magic."

Stefan could hear Bonnie on the phone, and he seemed satisfied enough with Bonnie's response, signaling for Caroline to calm down. He took the phone from Caroline's hand.

"Bonnie, it's Stefan. The plan sounds good. Thank you so much, we don't know what we would do without you. Call if anything changes."

"Hey! Why did you take my phone?" Caroline pouted, snatching her phone back.

"You were digging yourself into a hole worrying, when clearly Bonnie has thought things out. If you point out more holes in the plan you'll just distract her more. We need her as focused as possible."

"Let's focus on distraction then. We have more than a few hours until sundown. Now, Stefan and I have been to New York before, but you haven't Caroline. What is something you've always wanted to do."

"Oh yeah- money isn't an option either. I have my 150 years of investment money, remember." Caroline smiled sheepishly, the sparkle in her misty eyes returning.

"Well, I  _have_  always wanted to go shopping on 5th avenue… Tiffany's maybe?"

* * *

Bonnie's spell didn't quite go as planned. Linking on to Elena's memories from hundreds of miles away should've been easy considering how much preparation she put into the spell. Bonnie assumed that maybe the dense population of the city wasn't something her ancestral grimoires had accounted for. She tired herself out trying to do the linkage spell multiple times, eventually giving up, wiping the blood off of her upper lip, and swigging a coffee. She decided that once they found Elena, she was going to sleep an entire day. With the caffeine in her system and apologies to Caroline, Alaric and Stefan filling her text outbox, she went back to her more basic locator spells, finding Elena's latitude and longitude location on a map of Manhattan, finishing with a spell to look through her eyes. Her energy was so weak that she could only connect to Elena's eyes for a brief moment, seeing a railing and the view of the city from below.

"A  _roof?_  Really Bonnie? And that doesn't sound dangerous to you? What if she's going to jump off? What if someone pushes her?" Caroline was venting to herself. Alaric and Stefan wouldn't let her answer the phone calls, in an attempt to not upset Bonnie more.

"Caroline, stop it. You need a level head going into this. For once, please just focus on the facts. The location spell just worked, that means Elena is alive." Stefan was really trying to convince himself of this more than he was trying to convince Caroline. Alaric was quietly patting himself on the back for leaving out some of the details from Stefan. He could tell Stefan was still a nervous wreck, but at least he was a functional nervous wreck. Caroline wasn't as much of a concern, since melodrama aside, her mind was sharp and not clouded by heartbreak or denial. The elephant in Alaric's mind though would be how Stefan would react when they found Elena. That was a complete wildcard.

They got out of a cab at a modern building in a stylish, upscale part of town. The lobby had been filled with people in designer clothes mingling and chatting in hushed tones, waiting for their cabs. It looked like they were going in at the end of a party- and a fancy one at that. They had to compel some bouncer who told them that the roof was closed to get in the spacious glass elevator, riding 20-something floors in complete silence. The doors opened to a nearly vacant roof, with just a single couple standing on the edge by the railing, making out. Shocked by the sound, the couple broke apart.

Tiny reflections of light danced as silver pin dropped to the floor, its metallic sound the echoing through the quiet. Stumbling, clearly a bit intoxicated, the slender woman bent down, looking to retrieve the pin. It was Elena.

Caroline, Stefan and Alaric scowled at Damon, but breathed a sigh of relief that Elena was ok.

Damon made panicked eye contact with Alaric, realizing that the fun was now over. He didn't want to confront Stefan- he couldn't. Without a second thought, he jumped off the side of the building into the alley below, grabbing onto a fire escape to break his fall. Even with accelerated healing, broken legs would slow him down.

Elena didn't notice his swift exit, she was still looking for her sharp pin. Caroline realized that Elena probably hadn't heard them enter, her drunken human reflexes were slow. She fell forward, scraping her knee hard on the stone roof. She did grab her pin, looking incredibly excited.

"Damon! Look I found i-" As she stood up, legs wobbly, she held the pin in the air in triumph. When she realized Damon wasn't at her side, she looked around frantically before locking eyes with Caroline. Stefan was looking away, trying to hide his rage. Alaric, rushed over to Elena, anticipating the oncoming meltdown. He was trying to figure out what to wrap her bloody knee with, since they couldn't risk a gushing wound around Stefan, not in the angry, hurt state he was in. He put aside pleasantries, dropping his bag down beside Elena and digging to find the gauze he packed.

Elena was speechless. When she realized Damon was gone and that she was ambushed by her friends, she had just broken down to tears. She tried to scream his name a few times, but only empty, hoarse screams escaped her lungs. With the gauze in hand, Alaric went to wrap Elena's wound. He checked both knees, but all he could find was a smear of blood- there was no wound. Alaric was careful to speak in a whisper so that only the vampires could hear him. He was suddenly very afraid of upsetting Elena further.

" _Guys… we have a problem, Elena's wound already healed. "_

Just to be sure, he looked at the floor behind her. The stone tile was smeared with blood, verifying her injury.

" _I know what you're saying, of course she was hurt. There is a smear of blood to prove it."_

Just to not raise Elena's suspicion, he wrapped the blood-smeared knee gingerly, as if nothing was wrong. He threw the gauze in the bag, standing up to meet Elena eye-to-eye. His heart sank immediately when he saw her face.

Her mouth was covered in blood.


	14. Everything I've had but Couldn't Keep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Depictions of self harm, questionable anxiety medication usage. The plot can survive without it, so if you don't want to read it then scroll down to the first separation line.
> 
> Notes: Let's do the time jump again! So I really couldn't handle writing an awkward scene where they give Elena tranquilizers to get her to cooperatively go back to Mystic falls and get back to her life. Also, there was a bit of confusion about the last chapter so let me clear it up! The end of chapter 12 aligns with the end of chapter 13, they are the same point in time. That means that right after Elena commits to not returning to Mystic Falls, the MF gang comes and takes her back. Drama!
> 
> Chapter title song credit: Pale Blue Eyes- Velvet Underground

 

* _B-B-B-Beep. B-B-B-Beep*_

Groggy Elena rolled over, her fresh linen sheets rustling with the movement. She smacked the alarm clock on her nightstand, scowling at it as if it had just insulted her. Looking at the time, it had. 7:00 am. On a Sunday. It had been weeks since she had been up this early- really since she had a schedule at all. Since it had been summer vacation last time she was home, she never set her alarm clock again, meaning someone in this house set it last night just to torture her. She threw her fluffy feather pillow over her face, groaning at the whole situation. She vaguely remembered being brought back last night, but she was too disgusted to care how they did it. Whoever brought her up to her room had changed her into a soft pair of blue pjs. She shuddered, hoping it wasn't Stefan. Even though he had touched her hundreds of times, the thought of him seeing her in such an intimate, vulnerable way made her recoil. Her face was getting hot from being under the pillow, so she resolved to get out of bed and shower. Showering could plausibly buy her an hour before she had to face angry friends or family downstairs. She needed that isolation more than anything, but she knew that they wouldn't let her hide up here forever.

The shower handle squeaked as she turned it, screeching water out when she pulled the lever. Compared to the bathroom in the loft that she'd grown so used to, this looked like military barracks. She stripped off her pjs and stared at her naked body in the mirror. Her hair was a bit crunchy from the hairspray she used, and her once loose, bouncy waves were now pointing in myriad directions. Someone had gone through the effort to wipe most of the makeup off of her face, but it felt sticky- Caroline probably used a makeup wipe on her. Bags were under her eyes from crying for Damon. She didn't really remember that part, but she cried in the car until the sedative took effect. The only thing that looked immaculate was her skin. Only her birthmark on her thigh and the bite-shaped scar Damon once left on purpose on her hip bone tainted its beautiful expanse.

Her nail polish was chipped, so while the shower was warming up, she grabbed polish remover, carefully tilting it upside down to wet a cotton ball. Each nail required a few seconds of methodical scrubbing, but the repetitive nature of the task soothed her. Just to draw out the guaranteed privacy of the bathroom, Elena started to make a mental list of self-care tasks she could do before giving up and going downstairs. She finished removing the polish from her fingers and toes before stepping over to the tub to check the shower temperature. As she walked, she could feel hair tickling her legs, giving her an excuse to pursue the most time-consuming shower activity of them all- shaving.

She entered the steamy shower and pulled the curtain closed, breathing in the moist air. As she stepped under the shower head for the first time, she let herself enjoy the feeling of the water warming her scalp, saturating her hair, flowing down her back, trickling down to her ankles. The sweet smell of her shampoo permeated the small space as she thoroughly lathered her scalp, massaging small circles as she washed. She combed large globs of leave-in conditioner through the lengths of her hair, pinning it on top of her head to let it soak in. She scrubbed her skin with a loofah, letting her favorite oatmeal soap moisturize her skin. She grabbed the can of mango shaving gel and her razor and hiked her leg up on the edge of the tub. A thick layer of gel turned opaque as she spread it across her bony shins and toned calves. She ran the razor under the water for a few seconds to warm it before beginning to slowly slide the razor against the grain of the hair, starting at her ankle. Time seemed to stop as she sank all of her focus into the menial task, relishing in the smells and sensations of being kind to herself. As she started to shave her thigh, she sneezed, the razor jerking to the side violently. She winced at the pain of nicking herself, but when she looked to assess the damage, the cut had already healed. A few watery droplets of blood ran down her thigh as she stared in disbelief.

For a second she panicked, wondering if she had died and become a vampire. She had fed from Damon right before her capture, so it could be a definite possibility. There were a few ways she could make sure she was human, but the most reliable was to check her pulse. Blood pumped through her plump, human veins at an anxious rate, confirming that she was still human.

_Damon's blood is still in my system._

The realization hit her like a bullet train. Usually, to heal humans, it only took a few drops of vampire blood shoved into their mouth via vampire wrist. Elena had been consuming pint-sized amounts from Damon at least once every day. She was still healing exceptionally fast hours after having the blood in her system. Elena had to be certain, so she tested her theory.

Tentatively, she pulled the razor across her wrist. The three blades weren't very sharp and tugged at her skin, making the shallow slice much more painful than she anticipated. Just like she suspected, the cut healed before her eyes.

Something snapped within Elena. Seeing how she healed, seeing the blood, feeling the steam of the shower, she was overwhelmingly reminded of Damon. His blood was flowing inside of her, and wherever he was, her blood was flowing through him.

_Wherever he is. Wherever. He's not here. He left me._

Heavy tears fell from her eyes, showing no end in sight.

_His blood in my veins is all I have left._

She dragged the blades across her wrist again, this time with greater force. Her stomach churned at the sharp pain, but she focused her eyes on her wrist watch it heal. It took a few more seconds since she had sliced so deep, her tears leaking in and causing her wound to burn. She wanted to feel anything except the loss, abandonment, and shock that took place in the past 12 hours. She wanted to feel him.

Through blurry eyes, she watched numbly as she started to hack away, cuts healing as she want. She dropped to her knees in the bath, kneeling in the blood-tinted water. She cut deep into her wrists, wishing the razor could cut deeper than the epidermis. Her mind switched back to reality as she leaned forward onto her hands, the stream of water from the shower pummeling her back. The water was starting to run cool, washing the remaining blood down the drain. She felt completely numb, partially from disbelief at her own actions. Standing up, she un-clipped her hair and rinsed out the conditioner. She grabbed a towel off the hook and stepped out of the shower, wrapping it tightly around her. There was no way of preparing herself to face Jenna, Caroline, Jeremy, or whoever else was downstairs, but the bottle of pills in her medicine cabinet couldn't hurt. Dry-swallowing pills wasn't her forte, so she threw them back into her mouth and cupped water into her hand drinking it up. She splashed a bit of cool water on her face and patted it gently with a soft towel before rubbing in a bit of her moisturizer. Effort was not part of the equation today, so she clipped up her wet hair, forgoing a hair dryer, product or even a braid. Leggings and a sweatshirt were all she could muster up from her closet. Even if she had more energy, all of the new clothes she liked were in New York.

_My new life that I liked was in New York._

* * *

The lightheaded feeling of benzos kicked in, so Elena finally mustered up the courage to walk down to the kitchen. Before she even walked through the door frame, Caroline pulled her into a bear hug.

"Caroline… you're hurting me"

"Elenaaa it's just so good to see you back here. Here in your home, in your normal clothes." She pulled back, putting her hands on Elena's shoulders. "I really missed you. We don't have to talk about it yet, all that matters is that you're here, and you're safe." She sashayed over to the blender, pouring out a thick, green liquid. It plopped into a glass, and Elena raised one eyebrow skeptically.

"Sit- I made you a kale smoothie and quinoa waffles. Based on how you um… smelled last night you've probably been drinking a lot, and this will help you get back into perky, school-ready shape!" She shoved a purple bendy straw into the cup and bent it, letting out a crinkly sound.

"Uhh, thanks Care. You really didn't have to-" Elena sat down at the table, prompting Caroline to come over and pour a clear liquid all over the already fruit-covered waffles. "What is tha-"

"Agave! It's healthier than syrup. It has like, antibacterial things or something! Eat up!" Caroline went back to the counter, leaning on her elbow and sipping a cup of coffee.

 _Is she… staring at me? Waiting for me to eat? No, she's probably just proud of herself for being such a supermom on this one._ It was really a shame Caroline could never have her own children.  _Maybe one day she would be a great vampire-mom to some cute adopted babies._

Elena stabbed at her waffles with her fork, cautiously eating her first bite.  _Not so bad, a little nutty._  She went to wash it down with her green smoothie.  _Kale? Maybe chard?_  The first sip brought her back to an early morning back in Manhattan.

* * *

"Elena, please explain to me why we had to get up so early instead of staying in bed. Naked. There are plenty of fun activities you haven't tried yet there…"

"DAMON!" Elena jokingly slapped him on the arm. "You said that, since I've never been here before, today we could do any sightseeing thing I want. So, I chose catching the early morning ferry to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. You owe it to me since you left me at home last night while you went to some  _awful_  80's hair band concert."

"For the record,  _miss millennial_ , The Smiths are  _not_  hair metal. They are 80's alternative rock. Hair metal never was my scene, too much… hairspray." He wiggled his fingers around his head, gesturing vaguely in the shape of an 80's rockstar's luscious lion mane. He pursed his lips into a sassy smirk and rolled his eyes. "Honestly, I should have just dragged you anyway, you need to be cultured. Maybe you would develop better taste in music than  _Bruno Mars_ or  _Lady GaGa_. Too bad I had already invited Alex."

"Which Alex? The one you told me about from 1899 who was an actor in London, or the one from Miami that you met in the 60's while she was a bikini model?" Elena deadpanned. He loved it when she teased him back. She was sexy when she let her sassy side come out. He leaned in, eyes wide, until he was only an inch in front of her face.

"Both" He didn't break eye contact, his mouth went back to the taunting line it was pressed in before.

Elena saw a stranger walk by with a clear cup full of bright purple liquid, holding hands with a green-cup sipping partner.

"Do you want one, or are you completely disgusted? Either way, it's not  _polite_  to stare at strangers Elena."

"You  _eat_  strangers. You have no room to talk" There it was again- the biting sarcasm.

 _Did she learn it from me?_ But Damon knew she had it in her all along; he just brought out the parts of her that didn't line up with her perfect, always charming, kind demeanor back home.

"Ok, that answers the question. You're clearly hangry." He grabbed her by the hand, swinging her through the glass door up ahead. Elena had picked a smoothie with kale, cucumber and pineapple. Damon had ordered a strawberry banana, pretending to want it for himself, just in case Elena hated the verdant concoction she had asked for. He was right. She hated it. But he made her at least drink half of it first, insisting she eat her vegetables.

For once, he didn't give her an 'I told you so'. He just gave her the strawberry banana smoothie.


	15. You Walk as I Just Stumble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, the characters it contains, or even a single bottle of bourbon. I'm a bit more of a gin-person. I can only imagine how Damon would make fun of my gin & tonics.
> 
> Chapter Title Song Credit: Cry Like a Ghost by Passion Pit

Alaric spent almost an hour moving Elena's things off of the bed in the guest room. An exhausted, sleepy, midnight hour full of cleaning. He was planning on staying with Damon for a bit, even if Damon didn't know it yet. There were definitely some supportive conversations that needed to happen that were only possible for such good drinking buddies. Plus, truth be told, Alaric could do with some time away from Mystic Falls, selfish as that may be. Elena's boxes and bags had been piled up halfway to the ceiling. There were clothes, shoes, books, pictures, and even a few cheesy souvenirs.

 _Clearly, Damon has let her loose in the city with a credit card._ He shook his head in disapproval.

He made a mental note to buy boxes to put this all in and bring it back to Mystic Falls for Elena. The last box he grabbed off the bag was for a fancy, new cell phone- the box was empty.  _That would explain why she stopped answering anyone's calls and messages._ Even just the box for the phone felt like it cost more than a month of his teacher's salary.

With the bed finally cleared, he collapsed on top of it, happy to finally be off his feet. He couldn't be more thankful for not returning the key Caroline had compelled from the doorman. Admiring his organizational handiwork, he realized it was a bad idea to fall asleep hidden in the guestroom, surprising Damon when he eventually woke up.  _Why am I so dumb. I could have spent all this time sleeping, but instead I cleaned out a guest room that I probably will never sleep in? This just proves how much I need sleep..._  He elected to go back out to the couch and rest there instead, in plain sight.  _He didn't exactly handle the last surprise well, and that wasn't even in his own house- apartment- loft- whatever the fuck this is._  The couch was made of soft leather, and gave in just enough to be comfortable; surprising, given that the modern design hadn't looked particularly cozy. In true Damon style, there were thick blankets tossed over the couch, made of some kind of chunky, braided wool. He shoved a fur pillow under his head and scooted himself into a comfortable position, cursing himself for not downing a glass of bourbon before laying down. Secretly, he was hoping it would take Damon a long time to come home, so that he could stay here and sleep for days.

* * *

" _Rise and shine, bearded beauty_ " Damon drunkenly whispered into Alaric's ear. Alaric woke up in a jolt, hands trying to grab the nearest weapon, a jerk reaction.

"Damon. I can explain I-"

"I know, you wanted to  _babysit_  me. Make sure I don't get all  _bitey_ **."** He flashed his fangs out quickly, turning his head toward Alaric's neck dramatically before pulling back, giggling.

 _Did he just… giggle?_  Alaric was more alarmed by the giggle than the potential blood loss. His Gilbert ring could protect him from death, but he wasn't sure what the cure was for a giggling vampire. Damon slapped Ric on the shoulder amicably, a bit too hard.

"But seriously, it will be so much  _fun_  having a roommate! We can go to parties together, stay up late and gossip about boys. Oh! We should make a little chart for our chores!" Damon took a huge swig from a bottle of vodka he was holding.

 _Wait… is that… flavored vodka? MARSHMALLOW?_  Alaric knew that at this point, something was incredibly wrong. Damon Salvatore, a snob for aged bourbon, would never drink disgusting sorority-girl alcohol. He only drank the sorority girls themselves.  _No shit something is wrong, he left Elena behind. He loves her. This must be some kind of emotional crisis._

"Loss for words, Ric?" He tilted his head to the side and sauntered to the kitchen. "OH! Did I mention that it's Sunday night? You slept a full day! I had  _so_ much fun while you were asleep, but I couldn't stand to wake you!" He sped back to the living room, becoming a blur of black clothes and pale skin. Alaric scooted over as Damon catapulted himself over the back of the couch, sitting sideways and crossing his legs on Alaric's lap. Damon didn't have the cheap booze with him anymore.  _Thank God. I don't know what I would have done if he offered it to me._ Sitting in his lap, however was a bag of barbecue potato chips. He looked at each one before putting it into his mouth, moaning at the taste every time. Alaric sat silently as Damon shared this intimate moment with a bag of chips. A few minutes later, Damon pulled his hand out of the bag and licked his fingers, sucking the orange spice powder off of each tip.

"See, you always forget about certain foods. You forget about them until you are wasted at 10pm in a bodega, making chit-chat to the resident cat." He pointed a still-dirty finger at Alaric. "You know, I haven't had this kind of chips since, damn, the 80's? I don't remember a lot about the 80's though. I was high off of the ambient hairspray fumes. And cocaine." He upturned the empty bag into his mouth, eating up the crumbs. "It's amazing what a strong economy can do for partying. The 20's, the 80's, the early 2000s …. God, those were the days."

"Great economic history lesson, Damon. Never would have learned that without you." Alaric rolled his eyes, moving Damon's legs off of his lap and standing. He snatched the empty chip bag out of Damon's hands, unable to handle the combination of Damon's slurred sarcasm and the crinkling empty bag sound. He walked to the kitchen to throw the bag in the garbage, stepping on the pedal to open the stainless steel can.

"Did you miss that day in history teacher school, Ric?" Damon laid out, stretching his legs and putting his hands behind his head. "Ooh, it's so warm on this couch. Thanks for heating it up for me  _buddy_ "

Alaric poured himself a small glass of bourbon, crossing the room to one of the hefty armchairs that were near the couch. He tried to sit in the least threatening position possible, leaning forward, one elbow on his knee, his head resting on his hand. Playing counselor to Damon was a dangerous game, but it was the whole reason Alaric had stayed behind in the first place.

"So. Do you want to talk about what's been going on here?"

"You mean me, walking into my home, only to find out that the high school history teacher had broken in and was sleeping on my couch?"

"Heaven forbid a  _friend_  was concerned about you. I know how much Elena means to you and-"

Damon sped over to Alaric's chair, getting in his face.

"You have no idea how much she means to me. You have no idea how much it hurt me that she called you guys to come get her. That she would want to leave just like that- after she told me she was going to stay. Well, I guess after she  _lied_  to me that she was going to stay." He flung himself back on the couch, the leather making a loud thud. Reaching into his pocket, he produced a flask, unscrewing it and taking a long swig.

"Wait Damon, you think that she asked us to come? That she wanted to leave you?"

"Yes. Just like her doppelganger, once she's gotten what she wanted, she run-"

"No, you have it all wrong. We came to get her. Well, actually we thought we were rescuing her." Damon's eyes narrowed at the last sentence.

"Oh, of course, because I'm  _sooooo_  dangerous"

"Damon, we had no idea she was with you until we got here. Caroline and Stefan didn't know until they saw you. I was the one who checked the apartment after Bonnie's locator spell led us here, so I had a bit of a… hunch, but no. We figured she was in danger; we hadn't heard from her in over a week.

"Did you try text-"

"Judging by the phone box in the guest room, it seems like maybe she has a different number."

"Maybe she didn't want to text you. Maybe she found people here who were less boring." Damon cracked a cocky smile. "Or maybe she was just… otherwise occupied." He winked, and it made Alaric feel physically nauseous.

"No. Stop. Don't want to know"

"But seriously, now I'm insulted."

"Because I don't want to hear about you having… sex… with Elena? Whom I think of as a  _daughter_?" His tone grew defensive.

"Whoa, down  _daddy_. No need to puff out your chest." He held up his hands in fake surrender. "As I was saying. I'm insulted, because you could have just texted me." He reached into his other pocket, the one that wasn't filled with a flask, pulling out his phone. "See, same phone. Same number. Let me see…" He started scrolling through his inbox. "Looks like I haven't gotten any texts from the Mystic Falls Scooby Gang in, gosh, weeks!"

"Damon you left town, didn't tell anyone…"

"Come on, you guys have to be smarter than that. I leave, Elena goes missing, right around the same time. Did nobody stop and think, even for a second, that it was possible we left together? Is it so far-fetched that she would come with me?" Although he tried to keep his normally snarky facade, there was a sadness behind his eyes; a sadness that had been growing since he was a child from seeds of abandonment, abuse, hurt.

"Well, now that you put it that way, we probably should have made the connection. Caroline was in charge of finding Elena and was barking all the orders. It didn't really leave a lot of time for critical thinking. She just roped us all in on the Caroline-Train out of Mystic Falls." Alaric genuinely felt idiotic. Even though Damon was being his normal, asshole self, he did have every right to be insulted that nobody had thought to even call him.  _I took a psych class once, and an early-childhood development class. Time to pull out one of the skills I never thought I would have to use: Validation._

"Here's what we are going to do. Clearly, I hadn't put together the right story before coming here. I was completely off base with the reality of the situation, and it was wrong to leave you out. I'm sorry for that. So, why don't you start from the beginning and…. tell me the story, what really happened since you and Elena went missing." Alaric leaned back in the armchair, crossing his ankle over his knee. "And… make sure not to leave out the explanation on how she was able to heal like a vampire last night when she scraped her knee. Oh and definitely include the part where she got blood all over her lips- I'm sure that's one of the most exciting parts."

Damon blinked a few times, staring blankly at Alaric's stubble-dusted face. Swallowing hard, he decided to let it all out- tell Alaric everything. They were drinking buddies after all.

* * *

When Alaric woke up to the sound of violent vomiting, he was pleasantly surprised it wasn't his own. Alaric and Damon stayed up talking and drinking well into the early morning hours. At some point, once Alaric's human tolerance couldn't keep up with his vampire drinking buddy, Damon dragged him into the guest room. At some point in the night, Alaric must have shimmied out of his clothes, because he was only wearing his boxers and white undershirt. Rubbing his hand over his tired eyes, he considered falling back asleep before a worried thought kicked in.

_Vampires don't throw up._

In all the lore that he had read, he never heard of a vampire hangover. The only thing he had found documentation on that made vampires sick was a werewolf bite, but Damon would've shown the signs last night. Plus it wasn't a full moon.

_Klaus. He could still be in the house. Maybe he just bit Damon._

His heart racing, he dug through his duffel bag at the foot of the bed, shoving a stake into the waistband of his underwear, just in case. Stalking up the stairs, he tried to remain completely silent. The vomiting sounds, however, were anything but. They grew stronger as he got up to Damon's loft. Light was coming out from underneath the bathroom door, and Alaric pressed his ear to the door to listen for any unwanted visitors.

" _Riccccc._  I can hear that it's you. Can you go downstairs and get me a blood bag from the fridge. I know I'm already dead, but I'm dying here." Damon whined, his voice echoing in the toilet bowl. Alaric rushed downstairs, grabbing a few blood bags from the fridge and hurrying back. When he went to open the door, it was locked.

"Damon, if you want me to help you, you have to unlock the door." He heard the whir of a vampire running, followed by the lock clicking open. Alaric inched open the door, revealing a crime scene. Despite being a seasoned vampire hunter, numb to most blood and gore, the state of the room made him feel faint. The once beautiful bathroom was trashed. Towels were thrown about haphazard, clearly an attempt to mop up the blood that covered almost every surface. Upon further examination, there weren't puddles of blood, just a variety of sweeping smears. Damon was splayed out on the floor, his head poised near the toilet. His face was sunken in and sallow. The circles under his eyes resembled bruises, and his lips were dried and cracked. Alaric extended his arm out to his friend, passing him the blood bags.

"I could kiss you right now. I'm so  _hungry._ " He sucked down the blood bag, emptying it in seconds. His veins didn't pop out as fiercely as normal; he looked more like a man who hadn't eaten in days.  _Desperate_.

"Have you been throwing up-"

"Blood?" He gulped down the second blood bag, tossing it into the trash bin.  _As if that would do anything to help clean up this bathroom._  "10 points to Ravenclaw. Great eye you have. What gave it away?" Alaric shifted his weight between his feet, not knowing what to say.

"Ravenclaw? How did you know?"

"Come on, you're a teacher. Ravenclaw is full of nerds." Damon tried to keep up the banter, but he still seemed too exhausted for it.

"It looks like the blood bags have at least helped a little. You look a bit less.. Corpsey"

"Awe Ric, are you telling me I'm pretty"

"Ha Ha Damon. Do you want to start spitting some ideas for why this is happening?" Damon seemed distracted, eyeing up Alaric's underwear.

"Is that a stake in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?" Weakly, he wiggled his eyebrows.

"It's a stake. When I heard you throwing up, my mind jumped to werewolf bite, but since it isn't a full moon, I figured that maybe it was Klaus. I know a stake won't kill him, but it was better than nothing. To be fair, before you make fun of the stake idea, it was soaked in a mixture of white oak ash, vervain, wolfsbane and some nightshade."

"Hmm. That's actually a pretty nice trick. Should've thought about that." He shifted, sitting cross-legged on the floor. The blood had already started to curb his nausea. "See, I'm just as confused as you are by the blood-vomit. You can check me all over, but I know I haven't been bitten by a wolf. Plus, I would look like someone tried to blow-torch my skin. I think after a few more blood bags, I'll be good enough to start digging for some answers though."

"Do you… want to try to clean this up? Or are you going to just move?"

"I'll just tell the desk guy on the way out to call my maid."

"You're going to call a maid to clean up a room covered in blood? Do you want the police to come barging in here? Worse, do you want to scar the poor person for life?"

"Bold of you to assume that my maid hasn't been heavily compelled. He won't remember a damn thing."

"Well, you should at least shower first. You smell like hell, and there are chunks of dried blood in your hair."

"Don't worry, I'll go pretty myself up for you."

Damon winked. He was clearly feeling a bit better.

Both of them were still worried.


	16. It isn't the Rush of Remembering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, the characters or the stories. If I did, I would have just had all the characters go to night school to get their GEDs, just so we could get over the whole high school thing!

 

Elena hated being back in Mystic Falls. More than anything, she hated being back in high school. Especially on a Monday. She had missed the first week of classes while she was in New York, but Caroline made sure that Elena wouldn't miss a beat coming back. Piles of homework, textbooks and novels were spread all over Elena's desk when she had come home- between Alaric and Caroline they had acquired quite a collection for her. A class schedule filled with courses she most definitely hadn't picked was placed on top of everything. Caroline threw in her own touch in the form of an overabundance of school supplies- notebooks with delicate floral patterns, pencils with sassy messages on them, purple pens, a fully-stocked pencil case.

The most 'Caroline' of the details was her binder. It was a standard, lavender colored, 3-ring binder with the clear pockets on the covers and spine. Each inch of the pockets were filled with a collage of photos, tickets, notes, quotes from books. Truth be told, it was a little obscene, but it was incredibly thoughtful. One picture showed Elena laughing with Bonnie and Caroline at the pep rally freshman year, all in their crisp, new cheer-leading uniforms. Another was of Elena and Stefan, right before their first Decades Dance. There was a photo of the Miss Mystic Falls court, Elena in her sapphire dress with Damon by her side. Countless other memories were plastered on the glorified paper-holder, but Elena couldn't handle that many reminders of the past right now. She tried her hardest to keep the cover on, for Caroline's sake, but by the time she shoved it into her backpack this morning, the binder was naked.

It wasn't even lunch yet, but Elena was already checking out. She hadn't slept well last night, but that was no surprise. She stood at her locker, her forehead resting on the cool, thin metal. The cold sensation soothed her headache, which hadn't gone away since she got back. The bell had rung about 4 minutes ago, but she couldn't bring herself to sit in another room, listening to some boring lesson. High-school life couldn't hold a candle to her life back in the city- her life with Damon. She was used to shows, museums, parties, dancing. Sex, booze, drugs and vampire blood had been running through her veins, and she had felt limitless. Being stuck in this cinder-block, institutional, hell-hole of a school was the definition of limited. She couldn't stay in the hall forever, so she had to decide what she was going to do. Rolling her eyes out of pure disgust for her situation, she opened back up her locker and put away her only thing she kept with her was her slouchy purse, her cell phone, and a bottle of water. She rotated the lock a few times for good measure, ensuring that it was locked, since she probably wouldn't be opening it again for a while.

The bathroom was completely empty, since it was now almost 10 minutes into class. Elena pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail. Looking at herself in the mirror, her skin looked lifeless and sallow. She splashed cool water onto her face, hoping that it would bring some life to her complexion. Her purse had a bottle of anxiety pills in it somewhere, and she knew that it would help her cope.

_Take a pill, go home, take a nap. That's my plan. I don't have to deal with any of this. I make my own choices, everyone seems to forget it._

Her hand hit something heavy and metallic at the bottom of the bag. Inquisitive, she pulled the mystery object out, balancing it in her palm. It was a tiny pocket knife that her Dad had given her the night she went to her first party. 'Just in case the boys get too rowdy' he had warned her.

_Oh, if he only knew the types of boys I was with now._

She hadn't used this bag in years, so it was no surprise that she had forgotten about the trinket. She looked side to side, double checking that she was alone. Cautiously, she flipped open the knife. Its unscathed blade reflected the muted, outdated fluorescent light in the girl's bathroom. Having a knife in school could get her in a ton of trouble, expelled even. The danger gave her a bit of a rush, the type of rush she hadn't experienced since she got dragged back home.

_I wonder…_

Her mind jumped back to her shower- the one Sunday morning. She had gotten ready so fast this morning that she didn't even process cleaning up, washing her hair, brushing her teeth. But Sunday had been different. Sunday she had let herself feel. She needed to give herself more time to feel.

_Just once…_

She poised the blade over her wrist, cutting a tiny, centimeter sized line. She watched, waiting for it to heal, but the result wasn't immediate like before. Sure, it was faster than humans healed; it had been less than a minute, and already a small scab was forming. She suddenly felt even more separated from Damon, he was less a part of her.

She wondered if things would be different if they had brought her back one day later. She had convinced Damon to turn her.  _Well, once I was sober._  Would her friends have wanted her back then? The wave of emotions and thoughts came crashing into her, and she could feel another spiral starting.

_Did I even want to turn? Do I want to be a vampire? Why did I say that? I can't believe my friends drugged me and shoved me into a van. God, I HATE them. And Stefan? Really? Apparently he is completely convinced that I would only break up with him if I was compelled. That is exactly the problem. Everything is a problem. I just want to be back in New York._

_I just want to make my own choices. I need to get out of here._

Her heart rate soared through the ceiling, and her chest was tight. It felt like someone was grabbing her lungs and wringing them out, trying to squeeze out every ounce of air. She felt like her brain was on fire. She dumped two anxiety pills into her hand and threw them back, unscrewing her water bottle so she could avoid dry-swallowing. Both hands gripped the porcelain of the sink, bracing her body weight and waiting for the sweet relief of the pills to kick in. Based on prior experience, that would only take five minutes. As she stood there, her symptoms didn't go away. Her mind stopped racing, sure, but everything else remained. She grew dizzier and dizzier, and it felt like she was being pulled back into a tunnel.

Elena wasn't lucid enough to notice, but a line of blood was trickling down her nose.

She collapsed, the contents of her purse strewn across the bathroom floor. The bottle of pills had burst open, and tiny pills scattered in all directions.

Nobody found her until the start of next period.

* * *

She woke up in a hospital bed at Mystic Falls Hospital. The last thing she remembered was looking at herself in the bathroom mirror, her face the color of parchment. Elena's head was still pounding, so badly that she winced just at the sound of her heart monitor. It was like the worst hangover of her life, and all she could think about was how she wished Damon was here to bring her a coffee, large, extra shot of vampire blood.

"Elena, you're up!" Meredith glided into the hospital room. "So, I prepared a different conversation for you, but I just got the results for your labs and my initial guess was completely wrong." She pulled over a backless, rolling stool. She sat with one leg crossed over the other, her ankle resting on her knee. In her hand there was a clipboard filled with charts, notes and what had to be blood test results.

"So, here's the story. Bonnie found you passed out on the floor in the girl's bathroom at school, surrounded in a pile of pills. Fun detail, you also had a knife, but Bonnie slipped it into your bag so you're not in trouble. Us girls, we have to watch our backs, you know?" One of her short, spiral locks fell into her face, and she pushed it behind her ear. "I had prepared a whole speech on drug abuse, especially how people who have experienced severe trauma are more susceptible. I was going to recommend therapy, detox, staying away from supernatural creatures and fated conflicts of mythical proportions, but your toxicology reports show that you had only taken two Xanax. That isn't the recommended dose… so don't do it again, but that wasn't enough to make you pass out. I'm going to ask you some questions and then have you explain your symptoms. Does that sound good?"

"...Sure." Elena pursed her lips.

"How many alcoholic drinks have you consumed in the past two weeks."

"Oh I was… uh partying a bit. You know, before-back-to-school hurrah and all.." Elena was trying to downplay her epic bender.

"Please, just answer the question"

"I guess, about 4 per day? Sometimes more, sometimes less?"

"You do realize that is 28 drinks a week… which is completely outrageous, right? Again though, doesn't explain the symptoms. Not to sound like a broken record, but… don't do that again"

"Are you sexually active?"

"Yes"

"Number of partners?"

"Total or…."

"Just stick to the past couple of weeks for now, since you seemed fine at your check up in July. Your chart shows that you reported you had had sex with two partners at that point. Is that still accurate?"

"...No. Since then I have had… one more partner."

"Does that include non-intercourse sex?"

"Oh.. then… five"

"Alright. I'll go ahead and order a pregnancy test then, as well as a full round of STD tests." Elena winced in shame.

"There's no way I could be pregnant."

"Why, because you were having sex with the other vampire brother?" Elena's jaw dropped. "It's a small town, word gets around fast."

"To answer your question, yes."

"I'll order the tests anyway for appearances. Plus, who knows if you can get a nasty STD from a vampire. Ok, next question, do you smoke?"

"Only when I have a hangover, or I'm drunk"

"So based on your drinking habits, that sounds like almost every day. You have heard that lung cancer kills, right?"

_And you have heard how vampire blood heals people, right?_

"What drugs have you taken recently? Remember, be honest, there are no consequences for honesty."

"I've had pot."  _And_ o _ne tab of ecstasy and I tried cocaine_ … Elena lied. In her defense, she couldn't exactly remember the details, but she had only tried them once, and she was sure that wouldn't be making her sick.

"These are all huge red flags, I'm going to refer you to a therapist, and perhaps a psychiatrist. You can't keep coping with things this way. I just have a few more questions, and then I'll leave you to watching fuzzy TV and eating applesauce. These questions may be a bit more upsetting, or even triggering, so I need to make sure that you are ready. Are you ready for some harder questions?"

"I'm ready"

"So, first question: Have you had any Suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming yourself?"

"No, I have just been sad since I came back."  _Lie. It didn't count if I knew I would heal. It didn't count if my thought of dying was becoming a vampire._

"I understand you ran away to New York city. Were you there of your own free will or were you in a kidnapping situation."

"I was there by choice."

"Have you ever been assaulted in-"

"Meredith, no. Really, I just have a headache, it's probably just a long hangover." Elena stirred. An IV line was anchored in her hand, a bag of saline unceasingly dripping into the tube.

"Well, we fed you some charcoal and gave you a solution of saline and an anti-inflammatory pain reliever. If this was a hangover, you would feel fine, otherwise I wouldn't be asking you these questions."

"Now, one last detail. Bonnie mentioned that you had a nose bleed. Do you have a history of nose bleeds, or is this a new occurrence?"

"I've never had one before, no."

"Well, we are going to go ahead and draw a few vials of blood, but don't worry, no more needles, we'll just use the IV tube. I'll run those other tests, but in the meantime, just to be safe I'm going to give you my… special medicine." She winked at Elena. "I'll be in right after they take your blood."

A nurse came in and took three vials of blood, and honest to her word, Meredith followed a few minutes after, holding an unassuming blood bag. She went to attach it to Elena's IV drip, but the second Elena smelled the blood, something clicked inside her brain. She snatched the bag out of Meredith's hand, sucking it down at a record pace. The taste was so familiar; spice-  _was it cardamom?_  A dark, heavy Madeira wine, the smoky vanilla after-taste of barrel-aged bourbon.  _The taste of Damon._  Involuntarily, a wave of pleasure jolted through Elena's body, filling her with want. Memories of all the moments she experienced the unadulterated luxury of indulging in him, from the first time in his kitchen to the time in the back of some fancy French restaurant, all the way to the last time on the roof. She remembered times when she drank from his neck, his lips, his wrists, his chest… even once from his inner thigh. Her eyes rolled back into her head, sending her into a feeling of all-consuming bliss; this is what she had been missing. The color returned to Elena's face, and her headache cleared.

Meredith stood in shock at Elena's actions. "You know, you didn't have to take it that way… I could have put it in the IV…" She swallowed nervously, skeptical of the situation. Clearly Elena wasn't a vampire, but she was coming up blank with explanations on why Elena would be so… stimulated by vampire blood.

"Meredith. Whose blood was that."

"You know I only have one willing vampire donor. Damon Salvatore."

* * *

"She  _WHAT_ " Caroline fumed. "How could she be so  _stupid_? I mean  _hellooo,_ Earth to Elena?! Vampire blood turns people into  _vampires_. It should only be used in absolute, complete, death-inducing situations." She was pacing back and forth in the hospital hallway, sucking a AB positive blood bag dry.

"Caroline, have you considered, for a brief second, that maybe you're drawing just a  _bi_ t of attention to yourself?" Alaric was seething, managing to yell while whispering. Ripping the blood bag from her hand, he shoved it into a stainless-steel tumbler, stabbing the spout of the bag through a straw and screwing on the lid. He shoved the cup into her her chest and turned around, rubbing his rough hands over his stubble-dusted face. "Now you're going to drink that, lower your voice, and calm down for just a few minutes so that I can think." He emphasized each syllable, wishing that the perky, drama-fueled blonde had an off switch.

When Alaric heard that Elena was in the hospital, he drove non-stop from New York back to Mystic Falls. It took the good part of the night, arriving at the hospital at 2:00 in the morning. He loaded Damon into the car with him, laying him down in the back seat of the baby-blue Camaro with a trash bag in case he threw up again. His condition hadn't improved much at all, although the closer they got to Mystic Falls, the more his groaning and gagging tapered off. Right now, Damon was still in the back of the car, dead asleep; he had been snoring when Alaric locked up the car.

"I don't think you quite grasp what we are dealing with here. I have a vampire with what seems like norovirus, vomiting up blood, shoved in the back of his antique sports car. Then there's the more pressing issue of the teenage girl, who I'm supposed to be a guardian to, currently in a hospital bed. All of that doesn't even begin to cover the new,  _exciting_  vice she's addicted to."

"Fine, well I'm going to go grab some clothes from Elena's house since she has nothing to wear to go home in the morning. Do you… want me to pick you up a clean t-shirt too?"

"Way to be subtle, Care. Do what you want, I'm going to go in to check on Elena, then go see if Damon is awake."

"Ugh." she rolled her eyes, finishing up the last sip from the now-concealed blood bag. "That situation is a whole other can of worms that I don't feel emotionally capable of dealing with right now. I'll be back faster than you can even begin to wrap your head around the five different shades of purple shirt Elena owns, and which one will complement her hospital-sick complexion" Caroline pivoted on the heel of her boot, beginning to strut down the hallway; she had altogether too much confidence to be in a small town hospital in the middle of the night.

"Hey! Care-" She spun back around, cocking her head to the side. Alaric closed the distance, walking a few long strides to meet her in the middle. "Someone needs to tell Stefan that Elena is in the hospital."

"Why would you assuming I didn't tell him?"

"Because I know Stefan. I know that if he thought Elena was sick, he would be here in an instant."

"Well Ric, did you tell Damon? Because I'm pretty sure both Salvatore brothers would move heaven and earth to be by her bedside." She squinted her eyes and pursed her lips, her rose colored lip gloss shimmering in the stark institutional lighting.

"So, you didn't tell Stefan then?"

"And clearly you didn't tell Damon, so there, we're even."

"Of course I told Damon, but by the time we got here, he fell into some strange sleeping-beauty style nap. When I left him in the car, I couldn't wake him." Caroline's face fell. Suddenly, she realized the severity of Damon's illness, and she regretted being so irritating to Alaric.

"I'm sorry- I- I didn't realize that was so bad. You know I don't like him but I mean-" Her voice was rushed, increasing in pitch with each word, exposing the high school girl that she still was, just trying to make all the right moves so that everyone loved her. She was genuine, but there was no way of remedying this situation.

"That's enough Caroline. I don't need you to tell me how bad off my best friend is." Alaric's light eyes were pained and glassy, holding back a wave of exhaustion and a sense of ineptitude; he didn't feel capable of handling this degree of responsibility over the people he loved.

"I'm sorry, I'll just… go"

"But seriously, Care- Somebody needs to tell Stefan. He at least deserves that."


	17. Just Another Course

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, the stories or the characters. If I did, I would be able to come up with funnier disclaimer jokes.

 

Alaric soon realized that there wasn't much to check on when a person was asleep in the hospital. They had given Elena a bit of a sedative just to get her to sleep so she wouldn't try to go home. She was hooked up to an IV, a tiny tube through her hand delivering her some fluids, for good measure. There was a clip on her finger, charting each pulse, reminding Alaric that- despite her sudden craving for vampire blood- she was still a human. A few minutes of staring at an expressionless, sleeping face, Alaric realized he was utterly useless right now. Since there was a greater chance of him being useful in the Damon department, he figured he should go check on the incapacitated vampire in the parking lot. He was fresh out of alcohol, but he would at least need some sort of drug to deal with the sarcastic bastard of a Salvatore brother.

Making his way through the maze of dimly-lit hospital hallways, he passed one of those depressing coffee machines that always graced the likes of hospitals, college libraries, and government buildings; the type of machine that nobody could discern when they got there, how old they were, or if they really even dispensed real coffee.

_Caffeine it is._

He fiddled through his pockets for his wallet, pulling out a dollar bill and putting it into the money slot. He pressed the button for large coffee, but nothing happened. Bent over at eye level with the tiny machine-screen, he pressed the button again. The green and black calculator-like screen flashed '1.25' tauntingly each time he pressed the button, and he hoped that if he pressed it enough it would give up and let him have his coffee for a dollar.

* * *

Elena woke up to a cool finger pressed against her lips, shushing her. For a moment, she panicked, until she opened her glossy eyes. The sedative they had given her hadn't quite left her system yet, leaving her face overly relaxed and her eyelids heavy.

"Damon, you came back." A grin stretched across her face.

"Ric told me you were in the hospital, I had to come- it wasn't a choice for me." He cupped her warm cheek in his hands, Elena leaning into the touch. "It wasn't a choice because we weren't done having fun yet miss  _wild thing_."

"Wait but-" Elena's face twisted from happy to sad in an instant. "But you left me. In New York. You let them take me." The drugs were making her more emotional, and tears started to well up in her mocha eyes.

"Shh. Quiet. Blondie is going to be back soon, and Alaric is currently in a fighting match with a vending machine. Want to break out of here,  _jailbird?_ Then we have to move fast." Damon started swiftly unhooking her medical equipment. He tossed a pair of jeans and a black t shirt to her, complete with a pair of socks and black boots. They might have been Elena's clothes, but the choice couldn't have been more Damon. "Here, get dressed. Don't tell Ric, but I threw you together a little runaway bag before we left to come back here. He probably thought I was too sick to do any of my classic scheming." Elena groggily sat up, stretching her arms above her head.

"At least you're self aware. Wait, sick, are you ok? What's wrong?"

"I'll explain the heartbreak, abandonment, illness, all the good soap opera bits on the car. Now wiggle your ass into these skinny jeans and let's go." His eyes were wide and commanding, his eyebrows articulating each word. Elena missed his adventure, the thrill she got when he told her what to do. Elena listened, pulling on the tight black v-neck and sliding up the indigo blue jeans. She slid her feet into the combat-style boots and pulled her hair up into a messy bun with the hair tie that lived on her wrist. Her phone and purse had been sitting on the chair in the corner of the room, so she grabbed them and slid the bag onto her arm.

"I'm ready."

"Ok, let's blow this joint." Damon started off toward the hall. "Wait- I'm not going anywhere with your hair up like that, you look like a lunch lady." He pulled on the hair tie, snapping it and releasing her hair down her back. He haphazardly made a messy part and raked his fingers through the length, touseling it a bit. "There. Much better. Very '90s grunge badass.'"

* * *

When Alaric realized that the coffee machine was intent on charging him the extra quarter, he sighed, stood up, and dug through his pockets to see if he had any change- nothing. In a last-ditch effort, he employed his favorite old college trick of checking the coin return for spare change. He leaned over, snaking his fingers into the tiny hole- jackpot. Someone had left behind not one, but three quarters, so he slid one down the coin slot and triumphantly pressed the coffee button again. As the mysterious, steaming , maybe-coffee liquid poured into a styrofoam cup, he realized that there were three quarters in the return because someone had just used two one-dollar bills. He seriously needed some sleep.

It felt like it took eons for the plastic window to open, letting him grab his cup and go. When he finally did grab it, he accidentally spilled it trying to put on the lid. Now, covered in coffee, he was incredibly thankful Caroline was on her way with new clothes.

Feeling utter shame, he started the whole dollar-inserting coffee process again.

At least he had two more quarters.

* * *

Picking out an outfit for Elena from her closet wasn't the easiest task. Caroline sincerely regretted leaving all of Elena's new clothes behind in the loft. From what Alaric had described, Elena had accumulated quite the fashion collection in New York.  _Probably all with Damon's money. Definitely Damon's money._ Hangers scraped against the closet rod, Caroline scowling at each piece of cheap mall clothing.  _Ugh, is there anything in here that isn't from 2009. I thought her style was so last year, but I had no idea it was this dire._  The entire closet was filled with faded, soft long sleeve shirts, a few flowy floral tops, and a couple dresses for going out.  _I give up. Cami under a deep-v green long sleeved shirt it is. Wonderful._  Caroline grabbed underwear, a bra and jeans for Elena before  _wooshing_  down the stairs and out of the Gilbert house. She went back to her car, turning the ignition and shifting to reverse and backing out of the driveway. She was about to race right back to the hospital, disobeying every speed limit, but Alaric's words burned through her ears.

' _Somebody needs to tell Stefan.'_

Her watermelon-pink manicured nails dug into her steering wheel. She was so conflicted. The last thing she wanted to do was go deal with awkward situations. She loved being a social butterfly, throwing parties, making friends; the only thing that made her happier than being the center of attention was making other people happy. Telling Stefan Elena was in the hospital would be the opposite- socially awkward, unhappy. The explanations behind the story would be damn near impossible to tell him, and she couldn't begin to prepare herself to hurt Stefan like that.

' _He deserves to know.'_

She had already passed the turn for the Salvatore house, but she knew what she had to do. Wheels squealed as she pulled a sudden u-turn. She began to rehearse the words to say to Stefan, how to break the news, but she was completely off script in this moment.

Caroline Forbes was terrible at winging it.

* * *

"Damon… I'm still so tired from those drugs they gave me at the hospital. There's no way I can go to a party."

Elena propped her feet up on the dash, pouting slightly.

"You know, I only let you disrespect my baby like that because I like you…." His sing-song tone floated over the 80's alt-rock music on the mix tape he made for Elena. He did still feel bad for not taking her to the concert.

" _Baby?_ You mean.. The car…" A cackle broke through the cool night air as Elena cataloged something to use as blackmail fuel later.

"And you thought  _The Smiths_  were a hair metal band, so we're even." If a voice could stick out its tongue, Damon's would right now. He turned the dial on the radio, lowering the volume. "Now, back to the subject. I think you forgot one of the many  _wonders_  I have to offer." He bit into his wrist, skin crunching as deep, maroon blood melted from the fresh wound. Resting his wrist on the console, Elena bent over, locking lips with his flesh. Her tongue darted out, tracing the outline his teeth left behind. A tight bulge started to grow between Damon's legs.

"I already feel so much better." Elena whispered, dragging her plump lip along his skin, looking up at Damon as she licked his blood off of her mouth.

 _God she's so ridiculously hot._ He was tossing around the idea of pulling over and taking her right here- he knew she was probably thinking about it too.

"Wait, speaking of feeling better…"

_This does not seem like a segue that will support my case for pulling over and fucking her brains out._

"Mmmhmm?" Damon clenched his teeth, trying to ignore all of the places his mind was going right now.

"You said you were sick, when you got me from the hospital. You seem completely fine."

"Look,  _girl interrupted_ , I'm just as confused as you are. When we left New York, I was so sick that our strongest running theory was that I consumed werewolf venom. I'll leave out the nastier details. I woke up once during the trip, and I felt a bit better- all of the nausea was gone, and by the time I woke up in Mystic Falls, I felt almost completely back to normal."

"Well, now I'm feeling better too so…. Where is this party you were talking about?"

* * *

The engine of the Camaro rumbled to a quiet as Damon turned off the car. They had pulled up at a bar with some neon lights, somewhere about 35 minutes north-west of Mystic Falls. Motorcycles, hot rods, and pickup trucks dotted the parking lot, and a cloud of tobacco smoke hung around the old building like an atmosphere.

"This bar is pretty busy for 3 am… in the middle of nowhere."

"Well I have a very easy explanation for that."

"Boredom?"

" *BEEP* Wrong answer, you're in the negative. Pick a new category."

Elena cocked her head to the side, crossing her arms against her chest.

"Ok,  _fine._ I guess I'll just tell you, but don't think I won't forget that you ruined my game. The reason this redneck dive bar is so hoppin' at this hour is because it's a vampire hangout. Owned by vampires, heavily visited by vampires, the whole community of humans has no idea. Have you ever seen True Blood?"

"I deal with vampires every day, the last thing I want to watch are vampire shows." She paused, rolling her eyes. "But yes, I have seen a few episodes."

"This is essentially a toned-down, country-music  _Fangtasia._ So just remember when we're in there,  _you're mine Suki._ " Damon did a terrible fake southern drawl- especially for someone who grew up in Antebellum Virginia. He held out his arm, motioning for her to link elbows with him. He started walking them toward the doors. "Do you think you can handle that?"

"A bar full of vampires? Piece of cake. Now, if it was full of originals, that would be a different story." When she acted this strong, it drove him crazy. He pushed open the doors, revealing a room full of pool tables, loud jukeboxes, and a weathered, stained wooden bar. This would be an incredibly dangerous place for an unaware human. Clearly, everyone in this dive wasn't a vampire, but even to Elena's pretty well-trained eyes, she couldn't be completely sure. Huddled in corners, couples were making out- for all Elena knew they might have been feeding.

"It reminds me of Bree's bar in Georgia."

"Oh yeah, our first road trip, such good memories."

"You kidnapped me, remember?" Elena un-linked their arms, pulling him by the hand toward the bar. Elena waved down the bartender. "Two tequila shots?" Swiftly, the burly man upturned a bottle into a shot glass, repeating it with another. Damon reached into his pocket, putting down a credit card for their tab. He slid one of the shots over to Elena.

"Yes I remember." They threw back the shots, and Damon signaled for the bartender to pour two more. "I also remember that I rescued you from your wrecked car, and that you got way too drunk, bragging about your tolerance and jumping on top of the bar."

"Hey, that's not fair." She slid the second shot over to him. They tossed back the shots. While the burn of tequila was still on their tongues, Damon leaned over, whispering into her neck, breathing in her scent.

"I also remember that you saved my life. It was the first time in decades that someone fought for me."

Elena's breath hitched. The combination of vampire blood, lingering painkillers and tequila might have been to blame, but hearing Damon open up to her was one of the most arousing experiences of her short human life. She lunged forward, tugging at his hair and pulling him into a fierce and hungry kiss.

"Mmm. We haven't even been in here five minutes," He mumbled through the kisses. "And already, you can't resist me?" He broke away from her. "Two shots of tequila in a dive bar and you're ready to spread your legs? Trashy… I like it"

"Just because I kiss you, I want to get in your pants?" She jokingly narrowed her eyes at him.

"Well, does it mean you want to dance? I sure hope it does, because that's what you're going to be doing anyway." He smiled, grabbing her by the hand and leading her out to the dim dance floor. The only light came from old, stained glass lamps above the pool tables and a variety of different alcohol logo neon signs lining the walls. On the floor, there were other couples, some dancing along with the music, others dancing like nobody was there except them; all of them were very drunk. Some strange, swinging, old country song was playing, and Damon started navigating her through a set of moves. Elena was pretty good at picking up dance steps- a benefit from years of cheer leading.

"I knew you loved to dance, but I had no idea you could dance to  _this_." Elena teased.

"What do you mean, I'm from Virginia. It would be c _riminal_  if I couldn't manage a single boot-scoot-boogie."

"Is that really what this is called?" She raised her eyebrow skeptically as Damon spun her around, not missing a beat.

"Of course not. This is just basic swing dancing." He spun her again dipping her and lifting her, falling back into the rhythm. "... with a little bit of country flair added in."

The secret of a swing step was that for every step you pulled away, there was a matching step to draw you back in. Each time they drew closer, the heat burned between their bodies, leaving behind a want as they swung back apart. Damon peppered in a few other moves, falling in line with the beat, using them as an excuse to let his hands wander down Elena's waist. By the second song, they completely gave up. They went to get another round of shots, and neither of them wanted to put mental energy into thinking about steps anymore. They were just rocking side to side, Elena's arms looped around Damon's neck as her hips snaked up and down. His hands slid down, reaching around to grab her ass. In response, she flipped around, grinding into him from behind. They danced this way for a while, Elena toying with his hair with her arm reached behind her. Their bodies were dying to melt together. This was the longest they had gone without touching- really touching- in weeks. Damon spun Elena around, pulling her into a strong and needy kiss. Their tongues fought in battle, trying to prove which was more full of want. Elena bit his lip, slowly pulling away.

"Damon-"

"Remember how you wanted to jump me the second we got in here?"

She bit her lip, nodding.

"... Do you still want to?"

"I was just about to ask myself."

He scooped her up, speeding back outside to his car. Her back hit the cool metal of the door behind her as he started running his hands up and down her body, groping every fleshy piece as he devoured her mouth. Elena had heard the term 'heavy petting' used before, but wasn't really sure what it entailed.  _This, most definitely, is what it entails._  His hand reached between her thighs, feeling her growing warmth. She squirmed at the touch- the friction of the fabric of her underwear against her engorged, sensitive clit sending a dizzying jolt through her groin. Noticing her reaction, he rested his thumb at the seam of her jeans, where the two legs met. With more pressure, he honed in on that precise spot, rubbing in circles. The wetness of her underwear was causing them to cling to her lips, making the friction now between her jeans and her nub. His other hand snaked under her t-shirt, gripping her breast over her bra.

_I'm playing on her terf here. We are practically back home. It's time to show her that she doesn't want this teasing, high-school, small-town hanky-panky nonsense. I'm going to make her snap. I want her to show me that she is just as naughty, even without the runaway-adventure._

As if Elena knew what game he was playing, she collected her breath, opened her eyes, and bit her lip. She grabbed down, latching on to the outline of his cock in his jeans. She mimicked the friction he was torturing her with, rotating her palm around the head, feeling it twitch at the contact. She stared right in his eyes, challenging him, but he was waiting for her to make the next move. She looped her finger into his belt loop, tugging him forward so that their hips were touching. Her heart fluttered in anticipation. She brushed her cheek against his neck, turning to nuzzle and take in his scent before nipping his ear. As she pulled away her teeth, she whispered, with strong authority.

"Unlock the car." She pushed him back lightly, his hand falling to his pockets to grab his keys. In an instant, he had grabbed her and pulled her into the backseat, laying her down beneath him.

She grabbed a fistful of his shirt, bringing him down to her, continuing their kiss. He kissed from her lips, to her cheek, down to her neck before pausing. Elena heard the crinkling sound of his face hardening like stone. The second his mouth brushed her jugular, his fangs protracted. He didn't remember the last time that he had this little self control.

"I really don't want to ruin my nice leather seats, but-" He sank into her. It felt like he had been starving, like he hadn't had a drop of blood in a thousand years. The blood flowed warm down his throat, leaving behind its aromatic, sweet, summertime flavor. He had never missed something so much- or missed someone so much. Almost as good as her blood was her reaction. She writhed beneath him, goosebumps spreading over her skin despite her blood pumping at breakneck speed. Her cheeks flushed as her chest heaved, each dip emitting a small moan from her mouth. "Uhhhgh I missed this…. You are so delicious, do you know that?" He breathed against her skin, sucking up the few stray droplets of blood. She let him savor the moment just for a few seconds before beginning to fumble with Damon's belt buckle.

"I missed something else too…" Her gaze was full of sex as she locked eyes with him.

"What did you miss?" He smirked, pausing his hands at the button of her jeans.

"Why don't I just sho-"

"No. Tell me. Now." His eyes were ferocious, domineering. He needed to hear her say it.

"I missed having sex with you."

"Be more specific." He unbuttoned her jeans and slowly slid down the zipper, wiggling her jeans down to her knees. His hand slid over the wetness in her underwear, snaking a finger underneath the fabric and lightly touching her folds. This first moment of direct contact drove her wild. He gently probed one finger into her, loving how she clenched around him. That touch brought the answer to her lips.

"I missed your cock." She panted.

"That was the right answer." He growled. He pulled his jeans and underwear down, licking his palm and pumping his dick with his saliva. Briefly, he considered pulling down Elena's underwear, but he wanted to be a little extra dirty, so he just pushed the middle of her panties to the side. He supported her back with one hand as he entered her, pressing into her tight core. Immediately, the both felt like they were in heaven. As he tentatively pulled back, completing his first thrust, the walls of her pussy gripped him, begging for him to continue. With the second, harder thrust, Elena gasped, her pupils filling her coffee eyes. His ego soared, and he set a hurried pace, pumping in and out, matching the involuntary movements of Elena's core.

Their hands reached for each other, tracing curves, gripping muscles. They were half-clothed, but somehow that made every touch feel more dangerous, more rushed. After a minute or two, Elena pushed up, quickly swinging herself over so that she was straddling Damon. She readjusted them so that he was sitting on the seat and she was hovering over him. A grin was plastered on her face; she was proud that for once that  _she_  was able to zoom around and change their position. He thought it was a cute try. Before completely taking the reins, she raked her fingers through her hair and tossed it a bit, catching her breath. She guided his dick into her, lowering slowly to drive him insane. Both arms linked around his neck as he grabbed her hips, right where they met her thighs. As she rode him, they kissed, her hair falling and tickling his shoulder. It hadn't been more than five minutes, but they were already both so close. Elena sped up, feeling Damon's member grow tighter, not ignoring the boiling heat within her. She was on her shins, raising and lowering, and he was helping push her up and down. Their breath was synchronized; they were not going to last much longer.

"Damon!" Elena screamed his name, throwing her head back and locking her arms. He could feel the waves of her orgasm clenching his cock, and that was all he needed to drive him over the edge. He dug his fingers deeper into her hips, thrusting deep as he came inside her. Their movement slowed, Elena gently rocking back and forth as they both rode out their orgasms, until finally they were motionless, captured in a still embrace in the back of the Camaro.


	18. One More Cup of Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, the characters, or the stories. But I do like to play around with things, and this chapter, at least Bonnie gets a little credit.
> 
> Notes: Sorry about the lack of smut, but please enjoy some fun Bonnie internal monologue! This is a very short chapter, but I wanted to at least update since I haven't in a while! Don't worry, more is coming soon!
> 
> Chapter title song credit: One More Cup of Coffee, Grouplove

"I told you Caroline, I was gone less than five minutes. By the time I walked from Elena's room at the hospital to the car, they were gone."

"So you're telling me, that somehow Damon, 'sick' Damon, got out of the car, found Elena's room, unhooked all her equipment, told Elena to get dressed and they made it back to the car… all in the amount of time it took you to just walk from her room to the car."

"Car-"

"Because pardon my vampire-snooping senses, but that new gross, machine coffee smell wasn't on your clothes before I left."

"Well, I did stop to get coffee from a machine, but that is beside the point."

"No Ric, it clearly isn't. It is exactly the point. You were here and they escaped!"

"You know, they aren't prisoners. Meredith said that it honestly wasn't even a big deal that Elena left…"

"Of course it is a big deal, because now Elena is off somewhere with Damon, probably pumped up with vampire blood. Oh god! No! She's riding in a convertible with vampire blood in her system. Do you know how dangerous convertibles are? That's it, she's probably already a vampire-" Her blonde waves were frazzled, a result of compulsively combing her fingers through it. Alaric was not properly equipped to handle this type of emotion.

_I guess anxiety is just another heightened vampire emotion._

"You are spiraling. They have only been gone a few hours. I'm sure they're fine." Caroline pressed her fingers to her temples, rubbing small circles. She took a deep breath, and tried to present her point in a reasonable tone.

"We don't know that, which is why we should call Bonnie and-"

"By call, you mean wake her up, at four in the morning. You do remember that she's human, right?"

"Ugh, fine! Then what am I supposed to do here?"

"Nothing. There is nothing we are going to do here. Why would we stay at the hospital when Elena isn't even here anymore? Why don't we just meet back up at the boarding house in the morning… after I've at least had two hours of sleep. I'm still human too, you know."

"We are  _not_  going to be meeting back up anywhere. We aren't splitting up again. Plus, it's almost morning already. I get it if you want to go back to your place and shower, or take a nap in your own bed or… whatever but I'm coming with you."

"Not only is that not necessary, it is pretty inappropriate to come stay over at your history teacher's apartment."

"Ha ha. Very funny. Don't pretend you're really just  _the history teacher_. Also, it's not your choice. You drove here in Damon's car, remember? He stole… well I guess it wasn't stealing because it was your own car… but anyway he took back his car, so that leaves you here, car-less. Your options are walk home… or let me drive you."

He didn't walk home.

* * *

Bonnie was learning that there were new and exciting levels of exhaustion. Today, she fell asleep with her eyes open at a cafe while trying desperately to chug coffee and comb through some research. By now, she had a pretty decent online contact list, and when she explained the general synopsis of what was happening with Damon and Elena, they were at least able to send her some documents that could lead her in the right direction. Mostly, it was just scans of pages from old grimoires, most not even in the language she practiced in. She could pick out some key words, which led her down a rabbit hole of soul binding spells. With the spread of printed copies, dusty journals and a laptop scattered around her, it really would have made more sense to be at home, sitting at her nice desk as opposed to in a noisy cafe, but it was hard enough to stay awake in public- it was impossible at home.

In between cups of coffee, she slurped down what had to be gallons of water, accepting that hydration was one of the only things she could control. The symptoms she had noticed in Elena and the ones that Alaric described for Damon both seemed like withdrawal symptoms.

_Makes sense, they were drinking each other's blood._

But she couldn't find any lore on person-specific blood addiction. There was plenty of information out there about ripper vampires, and even some fringe writings about humans exploiting vampire blood for its various benefits, but the physical dependence, especially on a single person, was the most puzzling part of all.

_Unless… it isn't about one person at all. Maybe this isn't just a Damon and Elena exclusive situation._

It had escaped her mind to ask Alaric if Damon had drank other human blood since Elena left New York, and the answer to that could potentially make her life much easier.

_It's possible he was so infatuated with her that he couldn't think of anyone else, not even for their blood._

She grabbed her phone out of her purse, tapping at the buttons to send Alaric a rushed text.

' _Ric- Question. Did Damon have any blood after Elena left? Blood not from Elena?'_

She put down her phone, gulping down more water as she awaited a response. She had a small leather-bound notebook- unlined so that she could sketch out any sigils she needed- laying next to her laptop. Her favorite pen, gold and weighted just right, was wiggling in anticipation for a text from Alaric. If she had any magic to spare, she would probably toy around, spinning the shining writing instrument on the table, but it was in her best interest to conserve as much energy as possible. She had even considered, although only in passing, riding in one of those little mobility scooters, just to save herself the steps.

Nobody ever really appreciated her enough, yet she always felt like she was still letting them down. That's why she was in this cafe, almost at closing time, still pouring over all the notes and trying to find an answer for her friends. She hated Damon being with Elena just as much as anyone, but that wasn't her job to fix.

_Breathe. Remember your intentions, focus on your purpose- find a way to fix any mal-intentioned magic at work, find a reason why Damon and Elena are sick. You already found a different spell to counter compulsion, just in case the spell you tried on Elena earlier wasn't actually strong enough. It doesn't hurt to rule that out again, but this doesn't feel like that- something else is happening here…_

She was now tapping the pen against the rim of her coffee cup, making just a bit more noise than was altogether appropriate. In her focused frustration, she had been staring at the cup of lukewarm coffee, completely zoned out. As her focus jumped back to reality, she looked down, stopped tapping the pen, and realized her mug was now steaming, full of scalding-hot coffee. Her eyes darted from side to side, hoping nobody noticed, and thankfully, the only person left in the cafe was the barista, mopping up the floors for the end of the night.

_*buzz*_

Bonnie nearly jumped out of her seat, grabbing her phone as fast as she could. Her fingers were crossed, hoping that the message would bring at least one easy answer piece to her puzzle.

' _Yes. That was the first thing he asked for when he was sick. Three blood bags- plus whatever he had when he went out partying while I was asleep. Definitely three blood bags. It didn't do much good.'_

That wasn't the answer she was hoping for. It completely thwarted the possibility that there was some blood link between Damon and Elena, and once he drank other blood it would be broken.

_That would have been too easy. It's never that easy. It was dumb to even think that-_

She buried her head in her hands, letting her wavy hair fall onto the table. A few strands dipped into the coffee, but she neither noticed nor cared.

"Um.. mam. Oh I mean, miss?" The barista stood over her table, blocking out the only light. She slowly dragged her head up, looking him in the eye. He couldn't have been more than fourteen, barely old enough to work from the looks of it. In a town like Mystic Falls, it wasn't unusual for young kids to work though. He was lanky and pale, with red curls pinned tight against his head.

"Mmhmm" was all Bonnie could muster.

"Well, uh, we were supposed to close an hour ago, but you seemed pretty busy so I let you stay… but if I stay out any longer I'll break my parent's curfew.."

"I'm so sorry, I'll pack up and get going, I don't want to get you in trouble." Bonnie flashed one of her genuine smiles, warm and kind, but with a sleepiness behind her eyes. She slid everything from the table into her backpack and picked up her mug, taking it over to the counter. Feeling bad about putting the poor boy out, she dug through her purse, pulling out a ten dollar bill and putting it into the tip jar. A wide grin stretched across his freckled cheeks.

Bonnie considered turning on the TV at home to keep her awake while she did more research, but a wise voice inside her head told her to go to sleep. When she got home, she put down her backpack, hung up her purse, and put her shoes on the rack. Being kind to her body, she slowly padded up the stairs to her room, where she took off her clothes, put them in the hamper, and slid into a flowing, plain nightgown. She gently wrapped her hair up, spritzing it with a tiny bit of jojoba oil before putting on her silk cap- for once, she was taking proper care of her hair. Her sheets were still crisp, since, when she actually made it home, she had been simply collapsing on top of the comforter. The feeling of being enveloped in crisp cotton, combined with the soothing scent of being in her own home put her to sleep almost immediately.

She was the most peaceful she had been in a very long time.


	19. A Sense of Poise and Rationality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, the characters or the stories. I also reference the breakfast club-I don't own that either. I also don't own the ingredients to make lemon ricotta pancakes, but the diner that I frequent when I'm hungover does.
> 
> Notes: I hope you enjoy this as much as those pancakes. Please, review and request! Also, there are some references to the tropes from The Breakfast Club, but don't worry- if you haven't seen it you'll still be ok! This chapter is plot heavy, but I PROMISE that there will be more smut soon. I want smut as much as you guys do! 
> 
> Chapter title song credit: I write sins not tragedies, Panic! At the Disco

The sun was starting to peek over the canopy of trees that populated the majority of Mystic Falls. The heavy, verdant scent of damp foliage hung in the air, only interrupted when the car ripped through the otherwise empty road. After their foray in the Camaro, hot and hungry, they had stayed behind in the safety of Damon's frequented haunt. High on dopamine, they danced, drank and decided that they were going to bolt again, maybe to some place different this time.

A musk of stale cigarettes and sweat radiated from their clothes, mingling with the pungent aroma of alcohol, but the convertible, top down, was whisking the smell away with each mile. Elena insisted that they go back to the boarding house to grab some things first, of course with an ulterior motive- a catty, teenager, ulterior motive.

Elena was convinced that it was a good idea to go give Caroline a piece of her mind while they were there, and Damon was fully ready to watch someone stand up to  _bitchy-blondie._ Despite the fact that her last drink was almost an hour ago, Elena was still completely wasted.

 _Human light-weight._  Damon thought endearingly. Elena wouldn't be sober for at least another two hours.  _She has no idea how cute she is when she slurs her words. Or how slutty she is when she gets liquor in her. Or how her glassy eyes look at me like I'm made of pure sex. I mean, I am, but still…_

"Ssshe does  _NOT_ get to tell  _ME_ whhat  _I_ wantt" Her voice dragged out words, her volume increasing and decreasing wildly. "HOW COME-"  _hiccup_  " _CAROLINE_ getss to think  _KLAUSS_  ihss  _pretty_ but I  _CAN'T thhink thatt YOU'RE pretty._ It'ssh DUMB. hmph. LIKEEE  _fuckk her._ "

"Whoa there, look who's pulling out the big girl words today  _miss potty-mouth._ " Damon smirked at her, pushing her to completely give in to these downright bitchy antics. Elena was usually so caring and loving of her friends, and he was curious to see how a cat-fight would go down; how dirty Elena could really fight. Just the thought was starting to make him hot and bothered.

"Shess-"  _hiccup_  "being  _such_  a BITCHH though." This drama was worthy of the trashiest reality TV, and Damon was completely here for it. Right now, Elena actually seemed like a high school girl, worried about what her friends think of her new boyfriend, defending her bad behavior, ready to tell her friends how grown up she is now.

 _Wait, am I her boyfriend now?_ Damon thought briefly, before realizing that in this moment, he didn't care about love, soul mates, epic fated romance. He was having fun, and that was all that mattered.

They were entering Mystic Falls, speeding through the morning-dew covered roads, Damon ignoring how the wheels skidded a bit around each curve. With the top down, the cool air was kissing Elena's cheeks, adding even more of a rosy glow to her already alcohol-flushed face. Tendrils of hair were flying away from the haphazard bun she had thrown her hair into, a bun that he didn't even taunt her for this time because her hot-mess look was strangely hot to him. He couldn't help himself, she looked so beautiful.

Leaning to the side, taking his eyes off the road, he pulled her into a quick but deep kiss, reveling in how her heart fluttered with the contact. He loved being a vampire right now. He could drive completely blind, only needing to listen for anything in the road ahead. He could hear his girl's delicate teen heart every time he turned her on. He could smell her arousal, tempting him to pull over the car and fuck her in the woods. Instead, he let her pull him into a longer kiss, her long fingers digging into his wild hair. Her chest stuck out toward him, showing off the arch of her breasts as she bit into his lip tugging back lightly.

"Shouldn't you be looking at the road?" Elena smiled, barely separating her lips from his as she mumbled the words. His hand slid from the gear shift onto her thigh, lightly ghosting his fingers on her humid delicate areas- tracing the bite mark he had left there earlier.

"I thought you liked the  _danger_." Damon purred. He knew the road was empty, that they were completely safe, but he wanted to play along.

"If I die, I'll be a vampid- a vampire." A bit lost in their roadway make-out, Damon had briefly ignored how intoxicated she was. He raised a finger to her mouth, gently dragging her lower lip until it bounced back up. He snapped his attention back to the road, swerving around a deer he heard jump into the road a few seconds before. He was completely in control, but he loved how her heart jumped with fear.

" _Elena, kitten_. We've discussed this- as much as I  _love_  your delicious, top-shelf, 20-year-aged bourbon blood, I will happily give that up by turning you into a vampire. Who knows- your vampire blood might even taste better. But,  _wild thing_ , I'd only help you out with that one sober. Until then, I will swerve around every woodland creature that Stefan would ruthlessly slaughter." The last part elicited a giggle from the passenger seat.

The high from feeding on her all night had him feeling on top of the world. More cocky and confident than ever. His body was full of her blood he'd been snacking on all night. He hadn't even been careful to prick his tongue and lick his blood over the wounds, healing them instantly. Instead, he had marked her, much to her enjoyment. Her inner thigh, her upper right breast, the crook of her neck and behind her left shoulder all bared deep, maroon bite marks. They were bright, obvious, and all his.

As they pulled up to the boarding house, it was safe to say that both of them felt invincible, not considering any consequences that lay within those dark wood covered halls.

* * *

Caroline was completely done with Alaric right now. Alaric was supposed to be Elena's guardian, keeping her safe, but instead it always seemed like Caroline was the one taking care of Alaric.

_I am *this* close to compelling the staff to put him in involuntary rehab. Is it really that hard to not have a drink in what… 72 hours? I can't believe that. Literally. Major alcoholic alert. He's supposed to be the responsible one. Why am I the only one with any common sense around here?_

She darted around the kitchen, gathering all of the ingredients to make her favorite lemon ricotta pancakes. She had been far too anxious last night to sleep, so while she let Alaric snooze, she went out to the 24-hour Walmart to grab everything to make everyone a much-deserved breakfast before fanning out to find Elena yet again. This breakfast was as much for her as it was for everyone else, the complicated batter-making distracting her from the aggressive anxiety and anger caused by her best friend. It was times like this where she hated being a vampire.

 _Heightened. My emotions are always heightened. If anyone says that word to me one more time, I think I will actually snap. God I'm so. Fucking. Hungry._ As she whisked the ricotta into the thick flour-based batter, she eyed the stack of blood bags at her disposal on the side of the stone kitchen island. She had already gone through two this morning, but she reached over, ripping the cap off with her teeth before starting off on her third.  _God. Look at what she does to me. I'm halfway to ripper territory- another word everyone loves to throw around. Has anyone even bothered to ask how I'm dealing with my hunger? No. They only think about themselves. Helloooo, I'm only two frickin years old._

She gripped the plastic bag until her knuckles were bone-white, not really a stretch from her normal light-skinned blonde pallor. As the bag drained, she felt the edge of her hunger subside. She took a deep breath, doing her best to center her racing thoughts. Tossing the bag across the room into the trash, she focused her attention back on aggressively whisking the batter. Tiny bubbles rose to the surface, and the batter was finally aerated enough for her to let it rest before pouring it into the hot griddle.

_Now is the perfect time to text Bonnie to get her little witchy butt over here for breakfast._

She yanked on the roll of saran wrap, pulling down the sliding blade to cut off a piece of the stretchy, transparent plastic. She stretched it over the bowl, creating a tight seal and pushing the bowl to the side. Flour had covered her hands and tiny flecks were dusting the tips of her perfectly curled golden hair. She dusted off her hands on her jeans before grabbing out her little pink phone from her back pocket. Testament to their friendship, her text conversation with Bonnie was first on the list. Her lithe, deft fingers tapped out the message with the precision only leveraged by a gossipy teen vampire.

_Good morning Bon!_

_Alaric made me not bother you last night, so I hope you enjoyed the sleep._

_We have a new situation though._

_Come by the boarding house, I made breakfast!_

The multiple messages were sent out at light speed, each one completed before the other was even finished sending. Already impatient at the fraction of a second lack of response, Caroline started to chop the green tops off of strawberries, preparing everything to cook the sweet jam-like topping. Red juice stained her fingertips, the hue inspiring a new pang of hunger.

_Nope, not this time vampire-thirst. You've had three bags this morning already you greedy little bitch. You are going to make some coffee, finish these pancakes, and have a normal, human-like morning before organizing the Elena search party- UGH why hasn't Bonnie responded yet?_

It had been less than a minute, but Caroline was restless.

_The batter is almost done proving. If she doesn't get here soon I'll have to make breakfast without her._

Caroline whipped open her phone again, getting sticky, red strawberry juice on the buttons as she speed-dialed Bonnie. Each sound of the dial tone taunted her.

_Beep._

…

_Beep._

…

_Bee-_

"Hello?"

"BONNIE!" A heavy sigh of relief escaped Caroline's delicate chest cavity- the air had clearly been pent up inside her for too long.

"Caroline, it is 7 in the morning." Bonnie's voice, despite morning grogginess, still was melodic honey on the other side of the call. Caroline could vaguely make out the sound of crisp, rustling sheets as her friend stirred in bed.

"But I made pancakes!" Caroline chimed in, not as a plea, but rather as a command. "I made pancakes, so you're coming to the boarding house even if I have to  _woosh_  over there and drag you here in your pajamas."

"What is this situation you were referencing in your text? Is Elena ok?" A hint of clarity was starting to translate in her voice.

"Um well, not so sure on that one. Why don't you come over here and do a locator spell…. After you eat some pancakes."

"Pancakes? At the boarding house? They keep food other than blood bags there?"

"Of course not, I bought everything myself. But it will be ready in less than 30 minutes so leave, now."

"I'll shower and head over as soon as I can, Care. Bye." The line went dead, and Caroline huffed. She hated it when Bonnie had the upper hand.

Brushing it off, she dumped the chopped strawberries into a pot on the stove. Carefully, she measured out a cup of sugar, dumping it into the pot. She filled the now empty cup with water, adding it to the mixture. A splash of lemon juice finished it off, so she turned on the gas burner and started to stir. As the thick, sweet liquid began to form, she grated the lemon skin into the pan, adding to the delicious flavors. Satisfied with how much the batter had risen, she peeled off the cling-wrap. The drips of water she flung on the griddle danced wildly in all directions; the griddle was hot and ready. She ladled out batter, meticulously making sure it poured into perfect, plate-sized circles. She tapped the spatula on the counter as she impatiently watched air bubbles float to the top of the pancakes.

"RICK!" Caroline screamed in the general direction of the living room. "Could you come help clean up while I finish cooking?"

The haggard old man shuffled into the kitchen, his eyes heavy lidded and face sprinkled with stubble. He squinted at the minuscule amount of light coming in through the kitchen windows, filtered heavily through low-hanging, gloomy clouds. The sun had just started to rise, but it didn't look like it would make much headway today at all, the pre-dawn fog seeming to just lift mere feet off the ground before settling above the treetops. Alaric stared at the window at the verdant yard, groggily scratching at his shoulder through his plain, worn, green t-shirt. Caroline  _had_  actually dragged him out of bed in his pajamas, leaving his thick, formidable thighs covered in navy and emerald flannel. Apparently Caroline had thrown some clothes for him in his messenger bag before corralling him out the door of his loft, and he shuddered to think what type of completely unnecessary,  _stylish_ , outfit she might have picked. He was thankful that she didn't come back from her grocery store trip with a closet full of new clothes for him, after hearing her complain for 25 minutes this morning about how every article of clothing he had was a 'big box store disaster'. Needless to say, he was not in the mood for Caroline.

"Can you try giving up on the  _steam-rolling_  for just one morning and let me have some peace? Elena is with Damon, and as much as we don't want that, you know he loves her, it's not like she's in danger or anything this time."

Caroline sped over to him, leaving a faint cloud of flour and powdered sugar in her wake.

"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT." She growled, veins hardening and eyes flashing red. The blonde vampire stood mere inches from him, baring her fangs and showing the predator within, but Alaric was unfazed. He blinked his sleepy eyes at her slowly, suppressing an eye roll. A hint of the eye roll escaped, his lips pursing into a line.

"Rip on Damon all you want, but he would never really hurt her. Stop being ridiculous." He sidestepped, trying to pass her, but she  _whooshed_  right back in front of him.

"He was  _feeding_ on her. How is that not hurting her."

"Fine." He paused, staring into her venomous eyes. "But it won't  _kill_  her, he's not a ripper. Not like Stefan. Who, I'll point out, you  _love_  to defend." This time, she let him pass her, his slipper-clad feet scooting to the kitchen as he began to pick up dirty dishes and walk them toward the sink.

Neither of them spoke for a painful amount of time. Dishes were clanging as Alaric was elbow-deep in a sink full of lemony suds. He knew that there was a dishwasher, but the methodical routine of hand-washing dishes was mind-numbingly peaceful. Everything in his life was in disorder, so he found solace in anything that resembled routine. Each bowl, spoon and batter covered utensil was scrubbed thoroughly under steaming water, his fingertips rising into ridges as they pruned. He placed them on a fresh white towel before moving on to drying them. Time seemed to escape him until he found himself with an empty sink, an empty counter, and the wafting aroma of freshly finished strawberry jam.

With the last of the cooking done, he knew he would have to confront Caroline soon, but it was the last thing he wanted to do right now.

_I might as well break the ice._

"You know Caroline, I want her back too. So if you want my help, it might be wise to trust me on that." He turned around, letting out a deep breath as he released the tension he had been holding in his shoulders. The face he met was different than the one that had been baring its fangs at him. This time, Caroline didn't hide her sadness, her worry. Instead, she stood over carefully plated stacks of pancakes, her eyes glassy.

_Please don't tell me she is going to cry, I still can't handle the teen-girl crying thing._

"You don't know how bad it is Ric." A small tremble caused her voice to waver." She picked up two plates, walking them over to the rarely used dining room table. Alaric followed suit, his muscles tensing in response to his mental preparation for whatever Caroline was about to reveal.

With all of the places completely set at the table, Caroline impatiently checked her phone to see if Bonnie texted her back to say she was going to be late.

"Ugh. Bonnie should have been here by now, the pancakes are going to be freezing cold."

"Don't worry, food can be warmed up. Should I go wake up Stefan or can I start chowing down? I will say Care, this looks amazing. Have you considered a career as a pastry chef?" He dipped his finger into the gooey strawberry topping, licking the sweet jam off of his finger tip and letting out a tiny knew that flattery would go a long way with Caroline, and he was hoping that it would lift her spirits from whatever anxiety induced hole she had fallen into. Caroline, however, completely ignored his compliment.

"I'll go grab Stefan, but there's something I need to tell you first. Something he might not want to hear. When I was at Elena's, you know taking care of her… " Her voice drifted off

"Yes I'm aware of that. Oh, hey, you compelled Jenna to go back to grad school right?"

"Yes. I made sure of that so we can deal with this vampire blood drinking problem in peace. Back to what I was saying. So with only Elena in the house, it was pretty easy to you know, listen to her heart beat, make sure nothing was amiss with her physically…" She took a deep breath. "Well while she was showering, each time there was a heavy smell of blood from upstairs. Fresh blood. I listened, and I could hear her…. hurting herself. Well, there, now you know." Her voice became hurried and nervous. "I'll just go get Stefan now!" She walked away toward the stairs, and Alaric stood dumbfounded in the dining room.

Unsure of what he could do about that tidbit of information he just learned, he pulled out a chair and prepared himself for the sugary feast ahead. Without his normal, steady supply of alcohol pumping through his veins, the sugar and coffee were the only things giving him the bandwidth to think of how much work they had ahead of them, getting Elena back on the bandwagon. After blankly staring into the plate, zoned out for a few seconds, he sulked over to Damon's shelf of dining-room bourbon, giving in and pouring a generous amount in his coffee. Caroline would never know.

* * *

Caroline reached the top of the main staircase before realizing something was off. Stefan's room was above the garage, separated from the upstairs hall by an additional, tiny staircase that had a telling way of letting sound echo. Trained vampire ears amplified this even more, in this case making the sound of rustling sheets impossible to ignore.

_I guess he's already awake… Wait- a voice. That's not Stefan. That's definitely not Stefan. Wait- that sounds like Elena._

She sniffed in deeply, but she couldn't catch the uniquely delicious human scent her friend radiated.

_Ew. Caroline stop. Your friend is not a snack-pack. Wait but if it sounds like Elena… but doesn't smell like Elena…. no_

Caroline carefully inched forward, not making a single sound. She listened as hard as she could, trying to confirm her worst fear. She could make out a quiet, half-whispered conversation.

" _Stefan_ , you have no idea how gorgeous you are in the morning."

"Now, you're just flattering me, I know what you want-"

"No! I'm serious! The way the light hits those beautiful jade eyes of yours…." There was a pause, followed by a somewhat wet sound that Caroline could only assume was for kissing.

"Your hair looks like warm, freshly melted caramel,"

"Kath-"

"Wait, did you hear that?" The velvety voice was rushed, worried.

_Oh that is definitely Katherine. I can't believe Stefan is this stupid._

The next sound Caroline could make out was the familiar  _woosh_  of a vampire speeding away.

_You know what? I'm not going to mention it to him. I'm going to see if he mentions it to me first. We have so much other shit on our plates right now. Who does he think he is roping Katherine back into this? God, I gave him a free pass on that first time. But this? This is deliberate. He SAID HER NAME. Focus Caroline. Fo. Cus._

She took in a deep breath, scaling the last few steps to Stefan's attic room. Her pale, manicured hand wrapped into a fist, hovering above the cracked wooden door. She swallowed hard, building up the courage to knock. She rapped on the door three times.

"Stefan!"

_Caroline, again focus! You can't let him know you heard anything._

"I made us some problem-solving pancakes! Lemon ricotta! Come down and eat some breakfast while we figure out how to find Elena!"

Stefan opened the door, letting Caroline in. The room was a wreck, things knocked over, clothes on the floor. The windows hung open, curtains billowing out. He walked over, closing the window and flipping the latch closed. Caroline watched how he sulked about, clearly defeated by how quickly Katherine would abandon him.

_Maybe I shouldn't stoop to her level and play games about this. He looks really hurt. And gross, when is the last time he had a shower._

Stefan was wearing a stained tank top that Caroline had heard him pull over his head right before he opened the door.

_I wish he would have just left it off… no STOP Caroline, god, horny vampire much? Now you really owe it to him to be nice, after objectifying him and all._

"I heard her leave." Caroline bit her lip, nervous about how he would react. Stefan placed his arm against the wall, bracing himself as he rubbed his face with his hand.

"Car-"

"I'm not mad. You're hurt. I get it. But I made pancakes, and they're getting cold." She walked over, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, we can talk about it later. For now let's just eat."

Stefan turned around, facing Caroline. His brow furrowed, his face telling of his clear shame.

"Sure, I'll eat pancakes… but only if there's whipped cream involved." He winked at her.

"Eww, what are you five? But yes. There is both powdered sugar and whipped cream."

* * *

The table was now almost full, the only empty seat being Bonnie's.

"Ugh, I know Bonnie is always in her own witchy world, but seriously, if someone cooks you food, the  _least_ you can do is show up."

Both guys rolled their eyes in unison. Alaric, making a stab at pragmatism, refilled Caroline's coffee mug.

"Thanks." She snapped, grabbing her mug and letting the heat warm her tense, cold, undead hands.

"Seriously though, these are amazing. Us Salvatores have some fantastic cooks in the family- I mean, we are Italian after all, but you could give them all a solid run for their money." Stefan put down his fork and knife, grabbing the can of whipped cream and sculpting another small mountain on top of his remaining pancake.

"I mean if everything else is going poorly for us right now, Stefan is right. I cleared my whole plate."

Stefan and Caroline both whipped their heads toward the front of the house. The sound of a car engine was growing closer, coming down the drive and settling into the garage.

"Guys, what is it? Is Bonnie here? Not all of us have supernatural hearing you know, and we like to stay in the loop…"

" _Damon._ " Stefan seethed. Alaric swore he saw the vampire features flash across Stefan's face, just for a brief second.

"Stefan, calm down, if Damon is here, that means that Elena might-"

Before Caroline could finish, the door swung open. Damon walked in first, still wearing the bar-stench from his obvious foray the night before. Even Alaric, with his human sense of smell, picked up on that from down the hall. Elena, still drunk, stumbled in behind him, gripping his hand for support.

" _Damon…._ Do you smeeelll that food! GOD I'm STARVING. Wait, who cooks around here? Why is there even food? Isn't there usually just  _blooood._ " Elena giggled, despite there being nothing funny. She started to drag him down the hall toward the delicious aroma of Caroline's pancakes. From where they were in the hall, she still hadn't noticed the audience in the dining room. Damon tightened his grip on her hand.

"Elena," He sung her name. "You might want to watch your words a bit. We have some company."

The pair walked into the dining room, Elena freezing in her tracks as they were finally confronted with the search party in front of them.

"Well, I see we've interrupted quite the little  _breakfast club_  here." Damon walked right up to the table, grabbing a pancake and rolling it up before taking a giant bite. He refused to even let any of them believe he might have been caught off guard or intimidated.

"Let's take attendance, shall we?" He slowly began to circle the antique mahogany table. "Well, we have  _the princess._  Not much of a Molly Ringwald though. To be fair, you would make a  _terrible_ ginger."

He took another dramatic bite of pancake. "Great cooking though! Is that  _ricotta?_ " He articulated the word in an Italian accent, laying on his thickest layer of cockiness imaginable. Continuing to circle the table like a vulture, he dragged his finger along the back of Alaric's chair. He traced the ornate, curled, wooden designs, admiring how he had saved this dining room set from his original family home. He was a sucker for antiques.  _Something about the authenticity._

"Here, we clearly have  _the brain._  I mean, stereotypical I know, but he is a teacher. You have to admit, that is a good fit." The last couple bites of pancake in his hand stood no chance as he stalked his way over to his brother's chair. He planted his hands on the edges of the chair, looming over Stefan in a downright threatening manner.

"Now you- this one is a bit of a toss up. With the hero hair," Damon rustled his fingers roughly through Stefan's hair. "Your first instinct might be  _the athlete_. After all, he was on the Timberwolves football team. But there is always  _the criminal._ Everyone always pegs you to be the good guy, the one Elena should be with, the one who does the saving, but you tell me- I think a guy who wiped out almost all of Santa Fe fits much more into  _the criminal_  role, am I right?"

He lifted the can of whipped cream, upending it into his mouth. The only sound in the room was the  _whir_  of the nitrous cascading whipped cream down his throat. Before anyone could start to fight back, a rush of air entered the house as the front door flung open.

Bonnie had finally arrived.

* * *

End of Chapter Notes:

Whoa! So shit is going to hit the fan soon! Sorry for the cliffhanger! Again review and give me requests! I will be updating a bit slower since I've been working on some strange off shoot fics, but I'm hoping to keep to at least a chapter a week until this fic is finished.


	20. Drunk Girls Like to File Complaints

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, the characters or the stories. I do own a three pound bag of gummi bears, and I won't share them- but I will share this story.
> 
> Notes: Buckle up friends, there will be some spitfire, back and forth arguing. Again, review, review, review! I love it so much! Also, remember, you can always PM me with prompt requests!
> 
> Chapter title song credit: Drunk Girls, LCD Soundsystem

The doors slammed behind Bonnie, the sudden vacuum of air sending her hair billowing behind her. Usually, she shied away from dramatic displays of parlor-magic, but this time, she needed a spectacle to grab the attention of a room full of hostile children.

All eyes were glued to her as she strode toward the dining room, her face stoic yet disappointed. For once, she was actually being a 'judgy' witch. She had everyone right were she wanted them; she was in full command of the room.

"Hello Elena, it's nice to see that you returned home on your own this time, even if you are still wasted." Elena's jaw dropped, her mouth hanging agape in an unflattering fashion. Bonnie turned her head sharply, shifting her attention to Damon.

"Damon, this goes without saying, but you're a dick. You're a dick I don't want anywhere near Elena, but you're also a dick with some more complex problems on your hands." She turned, opening her posture toward the whole room.

"Now, you don't have to be an empath to sense the tension in this room, but I don't have time for your drama right now. You have until I finish my pancakes to argue, and then we will get down to discussing my findings that I was pouring over research to find. Some of us don't have the luxury of going to bars or spending the night with our murderous doppelganger exes."

Stefan's jaw clenched. For a moment, he was shocked that she had found out about him and Katherine, but he knew it was no use hiding anything from a Bennett witch. Nobody could ever really comprehend just how powerful they were. Caroline threw him a look that was meant to be reassuring, but came across as completely panicked. Alaric almost spit out his sip of coffee at the revelation of Stefan's escapades, surprised that that bit of information hadn't been spilled to everyone by gossipy Caroline. Damon shrugged as he shoved another pancake into his mouth, clearly not surprised at his brother's indiscretions. Elena was too drunk, salivating at the food in front of her.

Elena clumsily took a seat, unable to resist the lure of heavy, sweet breakfast food any longer. She leaned across the table, her hair, now falling out of the messy bun, spilling onto Alaric's empty plate as she dragged a pile of pancakes to her place at the table. Bonnie gracefully sat opposite of her, delicately grabbing a fork and knife, quietly pouring a cup of coffee.

"Oh, those are probably a bit cold at this point Bonnie, do you want me to go heat them up for-?" Caroline tried to save face, a moot attempt to appease her friend. Before she could finish the offer, warm steam rose from the plate. One of Bonnie's fingers circled the edge of the plate- another bold display of superiority, despite the practicality of the gesture. Unimpressed with the temperature of the coffee, she wrapped both hands around the mug, producing steaming tendrils of air from the nutty liquid. Everyone stared, ashamed, feeling like children just scolded by their headmaster. Somehow, this was more effective scolding than any verbal interaction.

"If you want to argue, now is the time."

Silence suffocated the room.

"Clearly, I interrupted something. Regardless of how juvenile it was, get it out of your system now. I wasn't lying when I said we have a lot of work ahead of us, whether we want to deal with it or not. Now…" Bonnie reached into her sweater pocket, producing a small bundle of sage.

" _Thesmatos inscendia"_ The sage briefly lit up with a small flame, promptly dulling into a smoldering ember. "I'm going to completely tune you out, and enjoy this food Caroline made. Don't break the smudge circle, I don't want to hear any of your nonsense. Elena, it seemed like you had some things you were going to say. Why don't you start?" With that, Bonnie traced the table with her burnt sage, sighing at the complete silence within her circle.

"Easy there witchy, watch the antiques." Damon scoffed.

She couldn't even hear the sounds of breath, and she reveled in the last moments of silence she would have all day.

"Hmmph?" Elena muffled, her mouth completely full. She swallowed, a light bulb going off in her head, reminding her about why she came back to the boarding house in the first place.

"OH! CAROLINE. I came here to yell at you!" The blonde's eyes grew wide as she chewed her bottom lip.

 _Well, she went from 0 to 100 again VERY quickly._ Damon thought, smirking as he walked over to the bar, grabbing a bottle of Irish Cream Whiskey.  _I might as well settle down and enjoy my front-row tickets to the show._ He poured a generous helping of alcohol in his coffee.

"MAYBE I wouldnvve ran away iff you didn't try to LOCK me up in my house" Elena slammed her hands down on the table, causing all of the fine china dishes to rattle.

"Elena, we are all just trying to do what's best for you-" Caroline crooned.

"NO! MAYBE you don-"  _hiccup_ "don't know what iss best for me. Why doesnt ANYONE let me pick whatshh best. You-all HATE Damon, but he letss ME pick what I want. HE letssh me have"  _burp_ "FUN."

Stefan pursed his lips, taking in how messed up Elena was right now. The smell of alcohol occluded the normal, tempting smell of her blood. He almost wouldn't be able to tell if it was Elena without seeing her.

"No, Elena. He encourages terrible behavior in you. Look at you right now- you're still drunk. We've all been there before, falling off the bandwagon. Why don't you go upstairs and sleep this off before you say anything you regret."

"Oh sure,  _Saint Stefan._  Why don't we send Elena to bed while all of us sit here and decide what's best for her. She definitely doesn't need a say in her own well-being. Elena? Make any decisions? Hell might freeze over if that happens!" Damon mocked, pouring more booze in his cup.

"I'm not so sure you should be calling him  _Saint Stefan_ , after sleeping with Katherine and all." Alaric chimed in, regretting adding unnecessary dramatic commentary the moment the words left his mouth. It was just so easy to fall into that line of banter with your best friend. Without even asking, Damon passed the bottle of Irish Cream over to him, and he followed suit in the morning drinking game.

"Why do anyy of you people get to tell me what I shouldd be doing! Stefan, you _fucked_ Kathherine. Sheshh an evil SLUT!" Elena spat out the last word, her drunken slur easing up just long enough for proper punctuation.

"OOH! First reality-tv style insult! Everybody take a drink!" Damon and Alaric smirked, taking sips of their boozy coffee.

"Really Damon? Very mature." Caroline's eyes bore holes into him like daggers.

"Nice  _Elle Woods_ _._ You think of that comeback yourself? I for one, think that counts as another point in this game." Alaric and Damon clinked glasses.

Caroline clenched her jaw.  _I'm surrounded by fucking baboons. Immortal and vampire-slayer children._

"Alaric, you're supposed to be the adult here. How can we expect Elena to get her act together with such a terrible role model! I expect this from Damon, but you? Making a joke out of all of this?"

"Caroline, I just think that maybe Elena has a point. We don't really let her make a lot of decisions for herself. I agree that she's making terrible ones, but they're her choices. I mean, when I was her age, I partied all the time..."

"NO! This is ridiculous. There is no way Elena would make these choices on her own accord. I've known her for her whole life."

"Umm, I'm right here." She pointed at her face. "Don't talk about me like I'm not here!" Elena dramatically rose from her chair, waving her arms in front of Caroline's face. "Helloooooo can you see me?" Alaric grabbed her by the shoulder, pushing her back down into the seat.

"You are proving her point a little here Care-" Alaric made a point not to make eye contact.

"Guys, let Caroline finish." Stefan turned all of his attention to the intense blonde.

"Fine Elena, I'll say it right to your face. This isn't you. You're letting Damon be a bad influence on you. I was playing nice before, when we brought you back from New York. I thought that maybe, without him around, you would go back to being yourself. But you didn't. The second he came back into town, you're off the rails again. Drinking  _vampire blood,_  going to bars, coming home in the morning trashed. That doesn't even include the absolutely, ridiculously, dangerous shit you were doing when he wasn't here. Cutting yourself Elena? I should have just checked you into a  _mental hospital."_

Caroline's chest was heaving. Ever since she turned, once she became angry it was almost impossible to control. She knew that now if she lost her temper, there was no going back. She was going to dish out all of the criticism that Elena deserved.

"Wait, what?" Damon's eyes darted to Elena, scanning her wrists for any hint of self-harm. He had just been all over that body- he would have noticed if she had been hurting herself. Everyone at the table was taken aback by the genuine concern Damon was expressing.

"Oh,  _now_  you're going to pretend that you care about her health _brother_?" Stefan was suppressing his anger much better than Caroline, but right now, more than ever, he wanted to drive a stake through Damon's heart. Not only did his brother steal his girl, but he turned her into a self-destructive monster. He hated himself that he didn't protect her better, but he was convinced that it wasn't too late.

"Not to bring this up again, but if you really cared what was best for anyone Stefan, you would have driven a stake through Katherine's heart-"

"Yeah  _STEFAN_. She tried to kill me me at least…. " Elena started counting on her hand, evoking images of a kindergartner. She put out one, two, and then three fingers before looking at her own hand, utterly confused and giving up. " at least… a lot of times. Killing me is defffinately not good for me."

"She has you there  _brother._ " At this point, they were passing the familial term back and forth as an insult.

"Hey, Damon- does bringing up murderous plots count as a dramatic one-liner?"

"I think it counts Ric." Damon smirked, clinking glasses and throwing back more alcohol. Alaric reached for the bottle and poured more into their mugs.

"GUYS. I SAID STOP IT." Caroline roared, grabbing the bottle of alcohol and throwing it against the wall. The glass shattered, the pieces glittering as they scattered across the dining room. Her face couldn't hide her vampire temper. The delicate skin around her blue eyes hardened into translucent marble, the sclera of her eyes turning a scarlet red. She huffed, holding herself back from attacking Damon and Alaric.

A few pieces of glass ricocheted off the walls, landing in Elena's hair.

"HEY! You could have hurt meee! You're being a psycho BITCH!" Elena screamed, Caroline's upper lip twitching, threatening to bear her fangs to her best friend. Bonnie still sat quietly, her place setting in a protected bubble, free of any rogue glass shards.

"Care, calm down. Deep breaths." Stefan walked over to Caroline, placing his hands on her shoulders.

"Oh cut it out Stef, drop the act. You sound like a fucking birthing coach." Damon rolled his eyes. "Don't act like you care about Caroline either if you're going to keep screwing Katherine." He spat out. "You know she likes you, and you just go and fuck the devil herself instead."

Caroline closed her eyes, trying to collect herself.

"Uhh.. noo Caroline likes  _Klaus!"_  Elena whispered to Alaric, giggling uncontrollably. Luckily, Caroline was too angry to have heard the taunt.

"Elena, this is not the time." Alaric warned, his eyes darting to Caroline, who was a volcano about to erupt. Human Caroline would have been worried about the wrinkles holding such a scrunched, angry face would cause.

"Everyone, leave Stefan alone!" Caroline's high pitched voice squealed, echoing through the large room. " Elena, you hurt him so badly, we're lucky he didn't turn into a ripper again!"

"It'sss not  _MY_ fault he rips peoples heads off. That's not fair!" Elena was fuming.

"You broke up with him through a  _text._  Do you have any idea what that did to him? I had to vervain him and lock him up in the basement just to avoid any disaster you might have caused!"

"That's the problem! Nobody else is my responsibility!"

Suddenly, everyone heard the sound of Bonnie placing her fork and knife on the table. The sage circle had been methodically broken, a finger width hole in its perimeter. Everyone sat back down in their seats like children in a classroom, trying their best to calm back down.

"Now, hopefully you ended on a good note, because it's time to get down to business."


	21. I Answer Questions Never, Maybe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire diaries, the characters, or the plots. If I did, Damon would be a lot nicer to Bonnie in the beginning. She deserves kindness and respect.
> 
> Chapter title song credit: Wake Up Call- Maroon 5

"Now, hopefully you ended on a good note, because it's time to get down to business." Bonnie tapped a napkin to her lips, dabbing off the remnants of powdered sugar. Her posture was straight, resolute, and commanding. She rose, the whole room hanging on her every movement. "Why don't we all move to the living room." In a swift motion, she strode off, everyone staring ahead speechless. Caroline and Stefan followed her immediately, loyal as baby ducklings, their desire to 'fix' Elena unwavering.

Alaric and Damon hung behind, still unsure of what to do with a still incredibly drunk Elena. Alaric poured the last of the coffee from the stainless steel carafe into a mug, gently nudging it toward Elena.

"Hey, take it from me, you'll feel much better if you drink coffee-" He dug into his bag that had been sitting on the floor by his chair. "and take a few of these. Aspirin, coffee, and all of those carbs you just ate should sober you up in no time."

"While that is sage advice from a certified alcoholic," Damon paused, upending the remainder of his booze-filled coffee. " I think I have an easier and more efficient solution." Damon's eyes darted left and right . "Just checking to make sure no one  _judgy_  is in the room before I do this." He rolled his eyes, mumbling half under his breath. Crunching into his firm flesh, he bore two, fang-shaped holes in his wrist. He clenched his other hand around the wound, squeezing a few choice drops of blood into Elena's coffee."There, now  _that's_ really good for what ails 'ya."

"Damon! You can't just keep doing that any time Elena has a problem." Alaric put his hands to his temples, massaging small circles.  _What the hell am I going to do with these two._

"Okay,  _responsible guardian._  Would you rather her just use your favorite go-to hair of the dog trick?" Alaric looked up, cringing at Damon's words, feeling called out.

Elena watched on as Damon and Alaric bickered, sheepishly dragging her coffee cup back in front of her. She picked it up with shaky hands, cradling the mug like it was full of liquid gold. She took long sips, her eyes rolling back into her head at the addictively familiar flavor of Damon's blood. A small moan escaped her throat, prompting an eye roll from Alaric.

"I mean look at her Damon." He aggressively gestured toward Elena. "What the hell are you even doing here? She's just a kid. She doesn't need a murderous, older, vampire boyfriend."

"Stefan was 150 years old. I don't think four years plus or minus is statistically significant at that point."

" _Statistically significant?_ Really Damon?" Alaric pressed his lips into a sassy line.

"What? I studied financial analytics at Columbia in the 70's. I didn't just drink at CBGB's the whole time." Elena perked up at the mention of New York.

"Is that when you bought your  _fancy_  apartment?" Elena giggled.

"Elena, that is the least of our-" Alaric chimed in, actively avoiding any interruptions in this conversation that would derail it from the point.

"Actually Elena, yes- it is." Damon smiled, his voice chipper, a purposeful diversion from Alaric's inquisition. Back then, TriBeCa was a desolate dump. I got in on the ground floor there… not that I couldn't afford it now." He turned to Alaric, smirking.  _Hit him right where it hurts- in the teacher salary._

"I'm well aware." Alaric deadpanned. "I saw the heaps of boxes in Elena's room at your loft. What did you do? Get Elena her own credit card?"

"Oh, he just lets me use his!-" Elena chirped. Alaric ignored her.

"Answer my original question, Damon. What are you doing here. With her."

"Ooh, don't get all touchy. Are you asking me my  _intentions_? Nobody has asked me my intentions with a woman since 1864." He mocked surprise, putting his hand to his chest.

"I'm serious. She's not Katherine. She isn't going to play both of you. But somehow, you convinced her to dump Stefan. I know we had our bonding session after Elena came back to Mystic Falls. I know that you're having some supernatural disease, but that doesn't excuse anything. I thought we were past this, I thought you were going to leave her alone, but last night you proved me wrong- again."

"Honestly Ric, are you really surprised? What did you think was going to happen bringing me back here?"

"I don't know Damon? Maybe I thought you cared enough about Elena to not jailbreak her from her hospital bed. How did you manage that by the way? Give her more of her blood? I saw how she just looked when you did that- like a frickin'  _addict._ "

"I'm right here by the way… and Alaric, you sat here and let me drink that blood-coffee. You didn't exactly… stop me?" Elena furrowed her brow, cocking her head to the side in a taunt.

"I know you're old Damon, but are you blind in your old age? Since when does Elena act like that?" He pointed to Elena, who threw him a glare. "That's why we're really concerned. She isn't acting like herself." He paused, taking a breath. He knew Damon wasn't going to like what he was about to say. "She's acting like you."

The vampire blood was pumping through her system, returning the blood vessels in her brain back to their normal state, quickly reducing her inebriation. Her mental acuity was returning, and with it her annoyance with the current conversation. Damon picked up on this- he could smell the change in her blood, her sweat. The alcohol flush was leaving her cheeks, the golden olive tone unmuddled. Alaric was too invested in the argument to notice, and Damon was completely ready to hear how Elena would fire back. He loved it when people were caught off guard, the chaos was a part of his nature.

"What's wrong with that." Elena's voice was flat. "Everyone is so quick to make Damon the villain, but at least he embraces who he is. Has anyone stopped to consider that maybe I'm not acting like him- maybe I'm acting like myself. I get that Caroline, Bonnie and Stefan don't understand, but I thought you were better than that, since you're Damon's best friend." Elena stood up, taking a deep breath and standing tall. The dining room table became her soapbox. "Nobody ever lets me make decisions, but Damon does. He lets me figure out who I am for myself. He encourages me to have fun and not mope around like the 16 year old girl whose parents died on Wickery bridge. You don't know what I was like before that Alaric. I was a cheerleader who did keg stands on the weekends. I dated the quarterback. I was catty, energetic,  _fun._ "

Alaric sat silent. There were a million thoughts floating in his head. He wanted to yell at her, send her to her room, something  _fatherly._  He wanted to slap his friend across the face and tell him to leave her alone, to stop corrupting her. But instead, he sat silent. Elena was right, nobody did let her live her own life- he just wished that Damon wasn't the one encouraging her to figure out who she was.  _God, Caroline might be annoying, but she's at least not a homicidal maniac._

Alaric scoffed internally at the fact that even that one of the least homicidal people he knew was still a killer, who has killed people.  _My life is such a wreck. No wonder I'm an alcoholic._

* * *

"Ugh where are Damon, Elena and Alaric. Can't they take anything seriously?" Caroline huffed, crossing her arms in disgust. "I'm just going to go get them."

"Actually, Caroline, it might be best if I explain this to you and Stefan alone first, it's a bit heavy." Bonnie chewed the inside of her cheek, her confidence waning as she was finally faced with explaining the incredibly awkward situation.

"What do you mean, it's better if it's only us? Is it going to make them upset?" Stefan furrowed his brow, leaning forward from his place on the couch in concern.

"Look, I won't beat around the bush here, so I'll tell you first and then explain. Damon and Elena are linked. On a physical and spiritual level."

Stefan and Caroline were transfixed on Bonnie, anxiously waiting for an explanation.

"The closest term that I can explain it in is that they are each other's familiars."

"You mean like Sabrina's cat?" Caroline was incredibly confused. She was expecting for there to be a simple explanation- a spell, compulsion, something to explain Elena's behavior. This was worse.

"Yes, something like that. Damon and Elena were… sharing blood for quite a while, and this created a very strong linkage. I'm not sure about the specifics, I would have to ask them myself, but I imagine they were feeling a bunch of psychic side effects- intuition, hearing each other's thoughts, feeling the same sensations. The most obvious one is what Elena and Damon were experiencing when they got sick. With a witch and her familiar, if they are separated too far, their magic begins to fade, and their health can begin to fade as well- now since witches and familiars are usually non compatible species, the physical effects are not as well documented. I pored over research, and I've found a couple of similar stories that I'm going to draw techniques from, but un-linking them won't be pleasant- for any of us."

"Wait, Bonnie. This sounds like something called a sire bond. They're very rare, and I don't know a lot about it, but I know Damon's done it to someone else before." Stefan was convinced this was Damon's fault, that Elena was just a victim of his manipulation.

"Well not quite. I looked into that. Sire bonds only form when someone is turned by a vampire who they already have strong feelings for. So if that did happen to Damon in the past, none of that is his fault, it just means the person he turned had incredibly strong feelings for him when they were still human. And Elena is still human so…" Bonnie trailed.

Caroline had been hoping that Stefan was right, feeling defeated when his suggestion was shot down.

"Well, plus, there's no way that Elena has real feelings for Damon, so that would never happen." Caroline retorted confidently, "I still stand by the fact that Damon compelled Elena. Don't you think that makes a lot more sense Bonnie? I mean, Damon probably just got sick after we brought Elena home because he went on some kind of tortured bender." She scowled, her hatred for Damon looming over her.

"Care, he was vomiting blood, that doesn't happen from a hangover." Stefan spoke quietly. As upset as he was about Elena, he was worried for his brother. He had never heard of a vampire getting sick, except in the case of werewolf bites. He hated himself for not being there for his brother, for being with Katherine instead. Up until now, he had been so busy hating Damon for stealing Elena that he didn't even consider how his brother was feeling. "I think Bonnie is right. They must be linked. I hate it, but I think it's true. Now, is this link a two way street? Did Damon do this on his own?"

"Well, I don't know their motives, but no. A witch and her familiar choose each other. It's a mutual choice. A witch can't just choose a familiar as her slave, and since this situation mimics that so closely, I can't imagine that it could have only been from Damon. They both had to have feelings in this situation, at least to some extent. The blood sealed it, but it wasn't the original seed planted." Bonnie took in a jagged breath, holding it in and waiting for a reaction from the two blank expressions in front of her.

"UGH! But why would Elena  _do_  that. He had to have compelled her to want that."

"Caroline, that's not constructive. We have this problem, we have to solve it. None of us like it, but let's just move on."

"But did you find out a way to tell if she's been compelled?"

"I can, but it won't exactly tell me what she was compelled to do, who compelled her or what it was about."

"It's not like she's on vervain, or else Damon wouldn't be able to drink her blood." Caroline accused.

"Actually Care, no. He's been drinking vervain every day since he found out that the originals can compel us. It's how Katherine has survived running from them all these years. I'm sure the little bit in her blood from her necklace or that she drinks in her coffee wouldn't affect him at all." Stefan was growing more and more resigned, as the holes in his original theories were all falling through. "So, what do we need to do Bonnie?"

"For that part, we should wait until everyone else is in here, because it's going to be a real team effort."

Like clockwork, Elena walked into the living room, Alaric and Damon following at her coattails. She seemed remarkably more sober than she had just a few minutes ago, which didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the group. Elena took a spot on the couch opposite of Caroline and Stefan, leaning into the plush pillows and bringing her feet up to sit curled comfortably on the couch. Damon walked over to a chair in the corner, picking up a soft wool blanket and tossing it over to Elena before standing over by the table and pouring himself a glass of bourbon. Elena wrapped herself up, settling in for what she knew was going to be a long, tedious discussion about something supernatural.

Alaric took a seat in an armchair near the fire, mentally preparing for how terribly this conversation between the two groups was going to go. He had no idea what Bonnie was about to dish out, but he knew for a fact that Damon wouldn't like it. He wanted to go over and pour himself a glass of bourbon, but Damon's harsh words still rang clear in his head.  _Maybe I should start cutting back. To be honest, I really shouldn't be driving anywhere most of the time._ Alaric took note that at some point, when the drama dies down, he should go to a doctor for a liver panel.

"Now that everyone is here, I'll just re-state what I already told Stefan and Caroline. Elena," She turned to her friend, still avoiding directly addressing Damon. "You and Damon have a psychic connection. Essentially, he is your familiar. That's why you both got so sick when you were separated. This is probably a deeper seeded issue, but sharing so much blood definitely triggered this bizarre familiar-type behavior. This isn't a well documented phenomenon, and while it's exciting that I'll get to document it in my personal grimoire, it means we will have to work with some trial and error here." She took a deep breath before opening a notebook, glancing at the page and continuing.

"I have a list of questions that I have to ask both of you, but I think for everyone's sake it's best to answer them privately. I don't want anyone else knowing what I asked, and I will cast a spell after to make you forget the questions. It is critical here that any bias is removed from the experiment. I'll burn sage to make sure nobody can listen outside the rooms…" She glanced at Caroline, knowing her friend was the queen of busy-bodies. 'To make things easier, I've gathered herbs to make a truth-serum tea, to make sure that neither of you lie to me." Her eyes shot to Damon, boring holes into him fierce enough to stake him in the heart."

"Hey little miss Dr. Hyde, I might be a lot of things, but when it comes to kiss and tell, I always tell.  _Proudly._ " Damon taunted. Bonnie refused to justify his banter with a comment.

"So, before I start the inquisition, there are a few baseline things that I know we are going to try regardless of how they answer the questions. There are two cells in the basement, correct?"

Stefan looked at Bonnie, a bit confused.

"Yes, but…. You're not considering locking up Elena too, are you?" Alaric spoke up for the first time.

"Well Stefan, I don't see why Elena deserves any kind of special treatment here. Her bad behavior is the majority of the problem here. She is honestly the one acting out of character here anyway. There are consequences for your actions Elena." Stefan stood up, feeling protective and defensive.

"There are better consequences than locking her in the cellar in a jail cell Ric! She's not a monster. Come on, this is  _Elena._ " Stefan knew he would need at least one other person on his side to make this a fair argument, so he turned to the one other person he knew cared about Elena as much as he did. "Damon, back me up here. You can't possibly agree that Elena should be locked up in a dusty, cold cellar."

"Well  _Steffie_ , actually if I have to be locked up than she should too. Because, by that logic, if nobody wants to lock sweet, innocent Elena up, then I can't be locked up either- but I know that things don't work that way around here and you all would much rather put her up in the Ritz and leave me in the basement to rot." He spat out the last word, throwing verbal daggers to the majority of the people in the room. Alaric raised his eyebrows, shrugging in agreement. "Plus, Ric is right. If you're so concerned that there  _must_  be something supernaturally wrong with Elena, then maybe you should treat her like the danger to herself you think she is. Plus, if you think I'm a bad influence on her, who knows? Next she might just start snapping necks too-" He dramatically vamp-sped over to the couch, putting his hands around Stefan's head in neck-breaking position. "and that definitely wouldn't be a good look for her, now would it?" He sped back to where his half-finished glass of bourbon was, shooting a look at his brother.

Stefan was clearly flustered he couldn't get anyone to agree with him, running his fingers through his voluminous hair, mentally grasping at straws as he tried to find a way to save Elena from spending an indefinite amount of time in the dungeons below the boarding house.

"Guys, this isn't being very productive. Can't we just listen to Bonnie? She clearly knows more about it than we do." Caroline chided, her head resting in her hand, her annoyance at all the immature men in the room nearing the max limit.

"Okay Caroline, then here's what we are going to do." Bonnie closed her notebook. "Caroline, go get some of Elena's things from her house. We don't know how long she's going to stay here, so she'll need clothes, her journal- I'm sure you can handle it. Stefan, I'm talking to Elena first, that puts you on bodyguard duty. When I'm done with Elena, hopefully Caroline is back because I don't trust you to not let her out."

"So, Bonnie- where exactly do I fit into this?" Alaric looked confused.

"Well, part of this is separating their blood supplies. This means we have to pump Damon full of someone else's blood. Since Alaric is both incapable of picking out clothes for Elena, and Stefan can't be trusted at a hospital blood bank, that leaves you to go pick up ample blood bags for Damon."

"And exactly how am I going to do that without compulsion? Did you forget that I'm a normal human and if I get caught I can be arrested?" Bonnie mentally face-palmed.

"No, you're right. Ugh, fine. Caroline, swing by the blood bank on your way back. Alaric, you're on bodyguard duty, I know you won't let either of them out." Bonnie was confident in her new decision.

"So, where does that leave me?" Stefan looked to Bonnie for answers. He didn't want to feel useless.

"Well, you're too emotionally invested to deal with Elena, but you might be useful for some of the plans I have for Damon. Oh, wait! I'm assuming that the rooms downstairs aren't incredibly comfortable, why don't you grab some things for Damon as well and then maybe a space heater for Elena. We don't want her to get sick, and once the vampire blood is out of her system, her immune system might fight back. Also, make sure you go hunt- we will be talking about blood a lot and the less tempted you are the better."

Stefan still felt relatively useless, but regardless, he would do whatever he had to to help get Elena back. After his indiscretions with Katherine, he wasn't sure if Elena could ever forgive him.

Stefan and Caroline went separate ways, leaving Bonnie, Alaric, Elena and Damon in the parlor.

"Let's get to it, then" Bonnie half-smiled. Damon turned to Alaric, plastering on a signature smirk.

"Alright  _bad boy_ , bust out the handcuffs and lock me up. Time to get kink- uughf" Before Damon could finish the sentence, a blur of brown hair and pale skin rushed into the room, and Damon collapsed to the ground, his neck emitting a loud crack. Stefan stood next to his brother panting, looking a bit proud.

"That vervain should keep him down long enough to get him into the cellar. His neck is also broken, but that might only last five minutes or so. I know he played along well with this whole plan so far, but I know my brother. He never would have gone along with getting locked up like that. Sure, he nodded and smiled along, but when it came to it he would bolt. It was a pretty big hole in the plan, so instead of going out to hunt, I went and fetched this-" He knelt down, removing the large syringe from his brother's neck. "Now, this might just be my opinion, but I think he will be much more… complacent if we keep pumping him full of this."

_I'm not so useless after all._


	22. I Know Tomorrow Brings the Consequence at Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, the characters, or the Story. I do own a large collection of tea, although none of them make me tell the truth. I'm still a dirty liar.
> 
> Notes: These chapters are a bit light in terms of content, but don't worry, Bonnie's plan is going to unearth some crazy flashbacks next chapter! Damon and Elena's relationship is going to go under the microscope, both in the eyes of their friends… and each other.
> 
> Chapter title song credit: Criminal- Fiona Apple

The door to Elena's cell creaked as Bonnie entered, the rusted iron hinges dusting a ferrous scent into the air. Her flowing skirt snagged on the door frame, a white linen thread following her into the room. The fabric bunched, yet Bonnie just yanked the string, causing it to loudly snap. With a wave of her hand, the cell door closed tightly behind her. Reaching into her large, slouchy hobo bag, she retrieved a bundle of charred white sage and a hickory wood match. She struck the match on the metal door, the delicate stick lighting to life.

Elena watched as her friend began to recite the incantations, hushed yet still enunciated and clear. The tiny flame of the lit match cast a glow on her friend's caramel complexion, her shimmering eye shadow reflecting tiny rays of light.

Bonnie raised the match to the sage, her eyes drifting closed. She took a deep inhale before breathing out, dispersing the smoke throughout the tiny, damp room. Opening her eyes, she placed the small bundle in the grate at the top of the door, ensuring that it would burn like incense for the duration of the questioning. She wanted the room to be safe from any prying ears.

She motioned for Elena to sit with her on the rough stone floor, lowering herself as she spread out her skirt. With Elena sitting directly across from her, indian-style, she took out a thermos from her bag. It was a strange appliance, conjuring up images of war or camping with its military-green walls and sporting myriad dents and scratches. It was a comforting and familiar sight to the both of them, recalling its presence on years of Girl Scout camping trips.

Bonnie untwisted the top of the thermos, separating the cup from the vessel. The metal cup clinked as she placed it on the ground, the high pitched sound echoing in the chamber. Flexing her arm, she unscrewed the lid to the vessel, the old thing resisting opening. A cloud of herbaceous vapor rose to the top of the room, hanging heavy and heady. Steam mixed with smoke as she poured a cup, occasional  _plunks_  sending out droplets of water when a leaf or twig fell into the mug. Bonnie pushed the hot beverage over to Elena. Elena cast her gaze down to the

"Elena, so... I hate that we have to do this, but I have to just go down the same script that I'm going to for Damon. You know that I trust you more, you know that I would much rather just talk to you, have a normal conversation, but I don't know what's going on here and I just need to know what I'm up against."

"Why would you hate this? What kind of questions are you about to ask me Bonnie? It can't be that bad…"

"I'll just start, but remember I warned you." Bonnie opened her journal and grabbed her pen.

"Okay, first- When was the first time you drank Damon's blood?"

"Umm… I don't know. Has it been used to heal me at some point?"

"Let's just focus on the recent."

"Well then, the morning after I went to that party at Whitmore."

"Wait, that party I was at with you? I thought you called Jenna to bring you home?"

"No I… texted Damon instead."

Bonnie collected herself, remembering she had to do her best to stay impartial and just get the answers she needed.

"And when is the last time you had his blood? The hospital right?"

"No, about an hour ago before I came into the living room. Damon put some in my coffee with breakfast so I could sober up."

_Impartial Bonnie. Stay. Impartial._

"Next- when is the first time he had your blood?"

"The night of the Whitmore party, after I went back to the boarding house."

"Now this is important, so I need you to really think about it. Did you offer your blood or did he ask?"

"I had been pretty drunk, but this I remember clearly. I asked him."

"Where did he drink from?"

"My neck, a few other places…"

"How did you react to this?" Bonnie was still scribbling on her notebook, the smell of pen ink wafting slightly into her nose. She didn't look up, knowing this was one of the questions she was least excited to ask.

"You mean like how did it make me feel?"

"Well, that is, if you felt anything at all." Bonnie looked up, locking eyes with Elena, as if to beg her not to say what she was most fearing to hear.

"It felt good." Elena whispered. "It felt really, really good."

"I know this is a personal question, but is there anything you can compare it to?"

Elena cast her eyes to the side, blushing a little. She didn't usually talk about these things with Bonnie, opting instead to keep the sex-talk to Caroline.

"Um… like an…" Elena mumbled the word. " an orgasm."

"A wha- oh." Bonnie's voice went lower. Well then." she coughed a little, not sure how to feel about the very important yet upsetting information Elena gave her. An emotional tie to feeding was an incredibly significant factor in the research she was doing, but this was Elena feeling orgasmic around Damon, and it was incredibly hard to stay impartial in this moment.

"Back to the timing of the feeding. When is the last time Damon fed on you?"

"Last night, at the bar."

"Now, this has been going for a while, so I know it's unlikely you'll have exact numbers, so I'll make this question easier. Would you say that he drank from you more frequently or that you drank from him more frequently?"

"Well except for once or twice, it's almost always at the same time. Any other times I think that it all evens out."

"So there wasn't any strong imbalance?"

"No."

"Would you say that he drank a larger quantity of blood than you drank from him?" Bonnie cursed herself a little for this question now that she was reading it out loud.  _Of course he drank more. By the time Elena started drinking his blood his wound will have almost healed._

"The same. He make a remark about that actually. He said he usually felt fuller after he fed, but with me it was like he felt the same just more energized."

Bonnie noted to ask Damon about this. She still wasn't convinced as to how he could keep a wound open that long for her.

"Did you notice any cumulative side effects of these interactions as time went on?"

"Definitely nothing bad, I've felt better than ever lately actually."

"Despite the large amounts of alcohol you've been consuming? That's actually remarkable."

"The real side effects I'm interested in are more in the supernatural sense. Did you notice any psychic connections? Telepathy?"

"I could tell how he was feeling sometimes. And sometimes it felt like I was in his head- like we were talking without saying words."

Bonnie opted to just put a check-mark next to that question. Elena couldn't have given a more vanilla answer. She was hoping that Damon, with his experience in mind control would give her a more concrete answer.

"Going back to side effects, when you came back from New York, did you begin to feel differently?"

"I felt like I was losing my mind. Usually, no matter what happens, I pull it together." Bonnie fought the urge to smile- this was the first time Elena reminded her of her best friend since they got her back. In this moment, Elena was raw, emotional and compassionate- a strong girl who had conquered so much. Her kind brown eyes were looking at Bonnie, as if she felt awful for not explaining things sooner. "I couldn't pull it together. It felt like my brain was dying."

"Is that why you hurt yourself?"

"How did you-"

"Caroline could smell all of the blood while you were in the shower. She actually rushed up to help but stopped once she heard what was happening."

"Oh. But yes. I nicked my leg with my razor and it healed. Just seeing my body do that made me feel like he was here again, and my mind felt like it could hold out just a little longer. I was so tired and anxious, like my body was a cloth that was wrung out. To be honest Bonnie, I don't know if I would have made it much longer."

"Longer without his blood?"

"Longer in general, like living."

"So you did not experience any physical withdrawal symptoms? No chills, fever, shaking?"

"No, it just felt like my body wanted to die." Bonnie chewed the inside of her cheek. She wanted nothing more than to lean over and give her friend a hug, but she knew she had to finish these questions. Until she really knew the depth of the situation, she could barely trust Elena not to try to break out of here, let alone for her to get overly physical. Bonnie sequestered every ounce of confidence that she had left, resolving to finish out these questions in the least awkward way possible.

"Now I'm going to ask some intimate questions. Try to give me concrete answers, it will make sure we can get through this quickly."

"Have you and Damon done the following intimate acts:" Bonnie took a breath. She was about to fire these at record speed.

"Kiss"

"Yes"

"Hand-jobs or other hand-sex"

"Yes"

"Oral sex"

"Yes"

"Penetrative sex"

"Yes"

Bonnie almost didn't want the answer to the last question, except one text she read made an important distinction between this act and other sex, so unfortunately she had to ask.

"Anal sex?"

"No." Elena scrunched up her face in disgust.

"How frequently were you and Damon engaging in sexual behaviors?"

"Daily."

"How many times daily?"

"More than twice, usually." Elena knew her friend was judging her, and she wanted so badly to lie, but the truth tea rendered her unable of even having the option to lie.

Bonnie went on to ask a few more mundane questions about Elena's eating habits, sleeping habits, and how many hours a day she was spending with Damon. She asked questions about drugs and alcohol again, just to make sure that she hadn't lied to Meredith. Her notebook full of scribbles, her pen was poised a few millimeters from the page, paused. Bonnie let out a breath she had been holding, looking Elena in the eye in a final plea of hope.

"Final question. Do you believe that Damon, in any way, manipulated you or compelled you? Do you have any reason to believe that witchcraft or a spell was to blame for your actions? Is it possible that Damon had malicious intent?"

"No. He was just letting me make my own decisions. Something nobody else lets me do."

* * *

Bonnie wasn't looking forward to questioning Damon. She wasn't necessarily scared of him hurting her, especially since she could give him an aneurysm without so much as blinking, but she was afraid of what he might say. She was also a bit nervous that vervain-ing him and tying him up might not elicit the best responses from him. She knew the truth tea would work, but she couldn't control his tone, the level of detail he would go into, information she volunteered that she didn't want to hear. She wasn't sure how seething sarcasm would be impacted by truth tea, or if it was considered lying, but either way, she wasn't looking forward to it.

She creeped in the door, closing it immediately behind her. The cup to the thermos was still moist when she rifled through her bag for the sage and matches. Damon was much less interested in the ritual than Elena was, looking frankly bored as Bonnie went about lighting the sage and chanting. She sat down, taking the damp mug out and letting it clunk to the floor. She poured the remainder of the truth tea and pushed it over to Damon.

"Hey  _witchy_ , if you want me to drink that, you're going to have to untie me… unless you feel like feeding me" He winked, a weak attempt at uncomfortable flirtation being obscured by vervain and exhaustion.

Bonnie un-cuffed Damon's hands, leaving the chains on his feet which anchored him to the floor. Now that his arms were free, he was able to join her on the floor, plucking up the tea cup and taking a deep swig.

"Mmm, barista, this is some delicious tea. You'll  _have_  to tell me your secret recipe." He mocked, sucking down the rest of the tea in one gulp. "Alright. You did the  _cloaky_ -spell, I drank the  _kool-aid_ , now let's get down to business. What do you need to know?"

"First question- When was the first time you fed from Elena?"

"The night she went to some party at Whitmore. I picked her up. It was August 13."

Bonnie scribbled down the date in her notebook, thankful for his vampire memory.

"When is the most recent time you drank her blood?"

"Last night."

"Did she initially offer her blood to you or did you coerce or compel her?"

"Is it so hard for you to believe that she might want me to be happy? You know, a lot of humans feel intense pleasure when a vampire feeds on them… if the vampire is talented enough." He winked at her.

"Please Damon, just answer the question.

"She offered."

"Was she under the influence of drugs or alcohol?"

"Alcohol lubricates the truth, it doesn't fabricate desires that don't exist."

"Damon." Her voice threatened.

"Yes. She left the party drunk, she came back to the boarding house- still drunk, and she continued to drink once she got there."

"You let her keep drinking even though she was wasted?"

"Ooh Bon-Bon, is this one of your 20 questions? If you ask me, it sounds like you're being a bit emotionally invested. Aren't the investigators supposed to be  _impartial._ " He smirked, leaning a bit forward, inching into her comfort zone, bringing her to the edge of discomfort.

"Fine. Noted. Let's just keep going. Where did you drink from on her body?"

"Neck, breasts, inner thigh, wrist and stomach. Oh- and once or twice on her...  _labia._ " Damon licked his lips dramatically, flashing out his fangs at her.

"Please, put away the theatrics. I already know you're an asshole, I don't need to be reminded."

"Ugh fine  _witchy,_ so how many more of these questions do we have?"

"More than a couple, and the more unnecessary commentary you have the longer it will take. Next: how did it make you feel when you fed from her. And before you say something sassy about being a vampire, let me clarify: how did it make you feel differently compared to feeding from other humans?"

"Amazing. It was the best blood I've ever had- top shelf."

"That's the exact answer I was expecting, but I mean how did it make you  _feel._ In an emotional sense."

"Is  _delicious_  not an emotion?"

"This is one of the most important questions. Please just give me a serious answer. Remember, the sage spell means that what you say in this room stays in this room. I won't tell anyone, and I can even obfuscate my notes so that anyone else who tries to read them just sees gibberish."

Damon's face fell, closing his eyes as he took in a deep breath. He wasn't used to being open about his feelings and emotions. To him, it was bad enough that almost everyone knew he was in love with Elena, even if he didn't show it in conventional ways. Describing a specific emotion, a profoundly intimate emotion, was completely out of his depth. His mouth felt dry as he struggled to come up with words, the result of growing thirst and incomparable nervousness.

"Well then." He stared into space, avoiding eye contact at all costs. "It felt like falling in love- the human kind of love. It reminded me of the blind and consuming love I felt for Katherine when I was human. It felt like emotions I didn't even know I  _could_  feel now that I am a vampire." His gaze flashed up to her with passion, the floodgates to his most intimate emotions finally open. "It felt like every molecule of my body wanted to protect her, to love her and to make sure she never felt anything but happiness and pleasure ever again. My body was electric, alive. I felt like the one thing I hadn't felt in over 150 years- human."

Bonnie was taken aback by this outburst of emotion- it wasn't what she had been expecting at all. She blinked a few times, her eyes glossy with shock. Now she was the one at a loss for words. She cleared her throat, frantically glancing down at her notes trying to remember what the next question was.

"Umm, okay then. How frequently did you drink her blood?"

"Daily, about twice a day. More if we were out partying."

"How many times have you drank from her." Bonnie was hoping that Damon's memory would serve him well again; a precise number could have some intense significance on her spells.

"Seventy-five" Damon over enunciated, his bottom lip bouncing a bit as it scraped across his top teeth.

"This question is critical: Did you drink a larger volume of blood from her than she did from you?"

"Actually, that is a good question Bennett. She drank as much from me as I drank from her. I don't know how, but my wounds were healing slower while she was drinking. She was ravenous- she'd make a great vampire."

"Is that what you want to do? To turn her?"

"That's not my choice. It's not even my place to have an opinion on it. It's completely up to Elena."

Bonnie was shocked by his answer. She never pegged Damon as anything other than selfish. Before Bonnie could continue, Damon interjected.

"She did ask me to turn her, more than once, but I said no. She was at least a little intoxicated both times, and that's not a decision to even think about unless you're sober. Elena's paramount quality is her humanity, and while that can easily translate to being a great and, god, even  _compassionate_ vampire, but that's not a decision she can make on impulse. If she was sober, level-headed and ready, then maybe I would turn her. But again, her choice."

It was a shock to Bonnie that Elena would even consider being a vampire. Everything she knew about her friend was contradictory to life as a vampire. She could never imagine Elena drinking blood, killing, compelling. Just the guilt alone could kill her. In that moment, she realized that maybe this was part of the problem. Maybe Damon was right, and Elena was stronger than anyone gave her credit for. Bonnie wondered how many things would have turned out differently if they let Elena make all of her own decisions.

_She'd probably be dead. That's why we decide for her. Because she has a death wish. Damon is just talking shit Bonnie, deep breaths, remember the goal here._

She realigned her intention, clearing her mind. Her goal here was to figure out how to spiritually separate Elena and Damon, not to get into emotional and personal qualms. Pushing aside her anger, she continued with her questions.

"With the frequent blood sharing, did you start to notice any cumulative or long term side effects? Now, since you are a supernatural creature, magical side effects are more likely to present as physical side effects. If you're curious, it's because your physical being is actually just a manifestation of magic, but that doesn't really matter here. First, let's focus on side effects you felt while you were with Elena, not any you felt after we separated you."

"My heartbeat increased. Usually my pulse is very slow, like it is for most vampires. Oh, but you should know that right? Or have you not taken the  _vampire anatomy and physiology_  class at Hogwarts yet?"

Bonnie ignored him.

"Anything else?"

"Weird psychic link things. I doubt Elena even noticed, but it felt like I was getting into her head by accident. Dreams, thoughts, sensations- it all felt like I was communicating these things to her without doing any of my mind tricks. I also felt like someone was trying to mind control me, which hasn't happened in  _years._  "

"Anything else physical?"

"My skin was warmer, and my hair grew faster. I was a bit hungrier for normal food, but to be fair the food in New York is amazing, and the gratuitous amount of sex we were having really worked up quite a strong appetite."

_That's weird… it almost sounds like she was making him a bit more… human? Maybe that's why his wounds were healing slower…._

Her attention had wandered from the conversation as she chewed on the back end of her pen.

"Helooo, earth to Sabrina…" Damon raised his voice, waving his hand in front of her face.

"Oh, sorry. I zoned out. I was putting a few things together in my head. Now Alaric already filled me in on a lot of this, but I need to confirm from you- what withdrawal side effects were you having once Elena came back to Mystic Falls."

"You mean, when her friends came to New York, where she was having a great time, and kidnapped her." He raised his eyebrows in scathing judgement.

"Just answer the question Damon."

"The typical laundry list from medication ads on TV: Headache, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, confusion, increased  _appetite_ , exhaustion, mental fogginess, muscle pain, chills, the vampire equivalent of a fever. You know,  _general malaise._ "

"Well, that explains the blood soaked bathroom Alaric mentioned."

"Speaking of which, if that's just a witchy-magic side effect of separating me and Elena, I'm sending you guys the bill from my housekeeper. I had to pay him extra for cleaning up that mess."

_Housekeepers. Of course. He probably has them here too. Explains how the boarding house is never dirty._

Damon continued.

"If it was here at the boarding house, where I have my trusty steam cleaner, I could have cleaned it up myself, but the loft is not as well stocked, hence, the housekeeper."

_Well then. I guess not._

"Down to brass tacks. I'm going to fire off a long list of sexual questions. Please, for the love of God, just stick to yes or no answers." Her eyes were pleading with Damon.

"Can do. Fire away. I'm ready to ace this test, sex after all, is my  _favorite_  subject."

"Have you and Elena engaged in the following acts:"

"Kiss."

"Duh, you saw us kissing."

"Hand jobs or other 'heavy petting'"

"Now  _that's_ a term I haven't heard since the sixties…"

"Yes or no answer Damon."

"God, you're no fun. Yes. The answer is Yes."

"Oral sex."

"Yes." He purred. Bonnie's eyes were transfixed on her notes.

"Damon, I know you're making some sort of inappropriate face or gesture, and I refuse to believe that a 150 year old vampire is this immature. Next: Vaginal Sex"

"Daily. Oh wait, yes or no right? Yes."

"Anal sex."

"No, I save that for my male companions." He winked at her. Bonnie would have cringed, but somehow she felt it would come off as homophobic.

"I would ask you how often but you already answered that with a volunteered 'daily'"

"Yep." He popped the last letter. "So, are we done here?"

"Final question. Did you, in any way, manipulate or compel Elena? Do you have any reason to believe that witchcraft or a spell was to blame for your actions? Did you have malicious intent with Elena?"

"I did compel her."

_The truth tea was a good decision._

"I compelled her the first time I met her. She was on the phone, talking to her parents when I saw her. I thought she was Katherine. When I realized she wasn't, we talked for a few minutes. I told her that she should look beyond her small hometown and live her best life, that she could do anything. I didn't want her to meet me yet, it wasn't the right time and I wasn't fully adjusted to having my humanity back on."

Bonnie was speechless. This is not what she was expecting.

"So yes, I compelled her to forget that she met me that night, but that is the only time I've compelled her. If any witchcraft is to blame here, I'm just as much a victim as Elena, I wasn't behind any if that's what you're thinking. I could never have malicious intent with her. I love her. More than anything in the world."


	23. Cutting Teeth on Bars and Rusty Chains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, or any of the content it contains. I don't own the Salvatore boarding house, with it's creepy basement dungeon. I don't own a house, so I don't have a basement, but my car does live in one.
> 
> Chapter title song credit: Rusty Cage, Soundgarden

Damon wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep.

_Damn witch-tea must have knocked me out when it wore off._

He languidly ran his hand over his face, freezing when he felt the sharp prickle of stubble on his jaw. A deep crevice folded into his brow in confusion. Ever since becoming a vampire, his hair still grew, just much slower than it had when he was human. Back in his rosy-cheeked prime, he would have to shave every day to maintain his soft-yet-chiseled look. Now, as a vampire, he only had to shave about once a month or so. He stroked his hand back and forth against his jaw, in an attempt to gauge how long he had been asleep.

_Hmm. Seems about 2 millimeters, tops. Still- that would take me at least a month to grow…_

Stretching his arms above his head, he engaged each muscle in his body, tensing them before releasing. He threw his legs over the side of the worn and dry-rotted cot, his bare feet recoiling against the freezing stone floor. If he was going to really get a good idea of how long he had been out, he would have to take inventory of how his body was feeling. Desiccation started with the outer appendages first, so he timidly wiggled his fingers and toes.

_A bit stiff, but definitely not turned to stone yet… Wait what the hell?_

He wiggled his fingers again, noticing that something felt wrong about the way his knuckles rubbed together.

_They took my daylight ring? Guess I am a fucking prisoner now. Time to bust out of vampire Alcatraz then…_

He stood up, his stiff back straightening vertebrae by vertebrae until he was fully upright. A tightness was weighing down his shoulders, cajoling him to stretch his arms above his head. Wrists linked, he grew toward the ceiling, curving like a crescent moon to each side- each movement causing his shirt to inch above the waistband of his jeans, revealing his v-shaped sex lines. The damp, frigid air tickled this sensitive exposed piece of skin, the sensation reminding him of how Elena used to ghost her fingers over the defined muscle while she straddled him. Remembering her touch instantly sent his undead heart pounding, heat pooling into his crotch as his blood pumped with a purpose. The combination of having his hands above his head and all of his blood in his penis made his vision blur over and star-like flashes ghost over his eyes. Stumbling back, he propped himself up against the wall, his fuzzy mind trying to comprehend that he, an undead, superhuman vampire, just experienced dizziness. Even in his human days, he could only remember a handful of times he was dizzy, all of which including a combination of summer Virginia heat and strong southern whiskey. Both of those situations were prime causes for dehydration, which he concluded must be akin to vampire blood starvation.

_Okay- fingers and toes? Check. Head and shoulders… not so much._

Slowly, his vision returned to normal and he collected himself, shoving off from the wall and walking toward the door to his dungeon cell. The aged scent of cracked rust bombarded his nostrils as he brought his hands to the metal bars, leaning forward to confirm that there was nobody outside. Normally, he would fully trust his senses on this one, but without blood and a possible month-plus hiatus from the real world, he wanted to be safe rather than sorry. The vervain out of his system, he hoped his strength would be enough to push open the door. Gripping the bars with all of his strength, he lunged forward, throwing his entire weight into the door. With a pained cracking sound, the door pushed open, the deadbolt having snapped. He dusted tiny flakes of rust from the bars off of his hands onto his pant legs, lamenting at the filth he had accumulated on this change of clothes. His longing for a clean Varvatos shirt was almost as strong as his desire to escape.

 _I guess they're bored of me at this point…_  He deduced, since nobody was keeping watch in the hall. He couldn't smell Elena, even with human senses he was sure he wouldn't be able to miss her sweet honeysuckle aroma. He was disappointed, accepting the fact that she probably got off scott-free while he rotted away in the basement. He wasn't going to lie, he didn't like the idea of Elena being locked in a cage, but part of him knew that one day, she would need to learn that there are consequences for her actions. The whole point of his foray into letting her run wild was to let her make her own choices and accept her own consequences.

_Bleeding heart Stefan probably let her out after a day. Or maybe he left her in here long enough to Stockholm syndrome her back into loving him…. Her words, not mine. Ugh- it's probably been a month since I've had bourbon, maybe that's why I feel like shit-_

He would never admit this to himself, but he secretly hoped that if Elena had been let out, that she would save him too. He knew that if the situation was reversed, if Elena had been locked in here for weeks, he would do anything to get her out of here.

_Sure Bonnie, I was on board with locking us up in here until you figured out why I was projectile vomiting blood, but clearly, she had other plans for me. Elena's not here, I'm not dying like I was in New York, yet I'm still locked in here. I knew I never should have trusted the Bennet bitch. Took one for the team, went along with their stupid little plan to show them that I wanted what was best for Elena, and this is the thanks I get?_

Sulking in his normal dour cloud of unrequited love, he drug his feet toward the basement fridge, praying that Caroline had bothered to refill his stash of blood bags she had been sucking dry. The fridge door, with its torn gasket, released a deep, vacuum inhale as it opened. The clear shelves were clean- nearly sterile as the fridge had never housed anything other than contained bags of blood. The shelves were full, bags meticulously aligned in blood-type sorted stacks that screamed  _Caroline Forbes_. Damon sighed in relief, grabbing three bags with disregard.

_Unlike some prissy blonde vampires I don't give a damn about blood type._

For a moment he toyed with the idea of heating up the blood in his favorite mug, savoring his first first drops of blood in ages, but he was far too hungry for that. Just the sight of the thick red liquid sloshing in the bags caused his fangs to press at his gums, threatening to bust out. Even starving he had more self control than that, rarely flashing his true face by accident. He bit the top of the bag, ripping off the plastic cap in one swift motion before tilting his head back and sucking the bag dry in seconds. Instantly, he felt warmth returning to his cheeks, his mind clearing. He continued walking down the hallway, ripping off the top to the next blood bag, this time, sipping it casually. As he climbed the stairs, he relished in how good it felt to stretch his legs, his body finally feeling alive again.

Cautiously, he opened the door to the upstairs. If it was daytime, that would complicate the situation, his daylight ring still missing. He squinted his eyes shut, dreading the answer. As the fresh, upstairs air rushed to his face, thankfully, he didn't feel his skin start to crackle and crisp. He opened his eyes skeptically, scanning the hall that separated the open kitchen from the living room. Based on the view out the windows, it seemed to be just after sunset, glimpses of orange painted above the treeline of the back yard. Feeling uncomfortably lucky, the rooms were empty and there were no sounds or smells of unwelcome company. Still skeptical of the situation, he walked toward the kitchen trash can to throw away the now two empty blood bags. As he tossed the red spotted translucent bags into the garbage, he queued up his next snack-pack, lightly tossing it in his hand to shake it. Before tearing open the top, something about the label caught his eye.

The packaging date on the bag was only a day after they had tossed him and Elena into the cellar. The date lined up with the local blood drive, something he kept track of to snag coolers of bags in transit from school gyms and community centers before they ever made it to the hospital. For a second, he dismissed this as just a smart move on Caroline's part, but by his logic, that blood drive had to have been about a month ago. The blood however tasted fresh, like it had just been drawn yesterday, and Even if Caroline had the self control of a saint, or left after she restocked the fridge, it was almost entirely full. Suddenly, finding out how long he had been asleep became his top priority. He tossed the blood bag on the counter, frantically looking for a calendar, a phone, a newspaper, a computer or anything that could tell him the date. A side effect of being from the 1800s, usually the prevalence of technology annoyed him, but right now he would kill for anything with a full date clock. After a few minutes of scrambling, he found his phone on a side table near the couch. Adding to his suspicions, when he pressed the lock button, the screen flared to life- usually his phone didn't hold a charge for a full day, even if he wasn't using it much. He punched in his pin number to unlock his screen before anxiously darting his eyes to the clock on his home screen. It confirmed his fears- he'd only been asleep two days.

_Ok. I've been asleep two days. In two days, I somehow grew damn near half a beard. Well, that's new. The newborn vampire hunger is a new feature too. I fucking feel like Stefan, minus the hero hair. Wait…_

He ran his fingers through his midnight locks, tousling them about and worsening his bed head. Stroking the full length, he stretched out a single strand, pausing at the choppy-cut ends. With the unpredictable beard growth, he was worried that his coiffure might fly inches above his head like Stefan's, or heaven forbid- his human curls came back. Much to his relief, his hair seemed intact, if only a little greasier than usual. Still skeptical, he resigned himself to just trusting his instincts until he had time to check in a mirror. As soon as he thought of a mirror, his mind wandered to how badly he wanted a shower. As if the dusty, damp coating on his clothing and skin wasn't filthy enough to him, he felt a distinctively  _human_  type of funk that he hadn't felt in ages.

The concept of being sweaty, greasy, or covered in other normal filth was now foreign to him, usually only needing to shower when he was covered in blood, dirt, or sexual fluids. The primary reason for his long, frequent showers was that the warm, steamy water made his skin feel almost alive- that and he loved the feel of being pristinely well groomed. Starved of any type of pleasure, he wanted to go enjoy the extravagance of his palatial bathroom more than anything. Usually a man of impulse, he would just march upstairs without any thought to the petty drama Caroline and crew were entangled in, but for a moment, he reluctantly decided to be pragmatic.

To help him sort through his thoughts, he needed a glass of bourbon, so he walked over to the bar cart, grabbing a crystal glass and pouring out two fingers of amber liquid. He stared into the surface of the drink, admiring how he could see the swirls the alcohol painted in its surface. His dull human eyes would rarely catch that type of movement- only in just the right lighting- could he admire the oil-slick swirls. But now, these types of simple beauty were at his disposal so often it would be easy to grow immune to them. He shook his head, bringing his attention back to reality. There were a few powers at hand pulling at his decision making process that had to be prioritized, so he threw back his first sip of bourbon to get the mental gears flowing.

First on his mind was the instinct that he had recently learned to ignore- the desire for revenge. He knew by now that this wasn't even an option, and that hunting down Caroline, Alaric and Bonnie-  _his friends-_ out of anger wouldn't solve anything. Part of his vampiric urges were screaming at him to speed out the door the second the sun finished setting, hunt down the scent of them like animals, and torture answers out them. He was still relatively starving and incredibly on edge, but with all of the newfound discipline he had learned- mostly from Elena- he didn't even consider the violence an option. Just to be safe, he downed the rest of the glass of bourbon to calm his nerves.

Lifting the weighty decanter in his hand, he refilled the glass, this time until it was nearly full. He took a sip, savoring the light burn in the back of his throat as he let the alcohol sit in his mouth too long. He swallowed, swirling the glass and admiring how the liquid clung to the sides of the tumbler. The voice in the back of his mind told him he was stalling again, prolonging the need to process his situation and take some form of action.

With the useless thoughts of violence out of the way, he needed to handle the fact that he woke up alone, with no idea what was going on. With him only having been out a couple of days, it was unlikely that people got bored of watching after him, which left the door open for a more dubious scenario. If something bad had happened to Elena, that would explain why the house was entirely empty. Suddenly, guilt flooded his mind as he remembered how reckless he had been with Elena's health the other night, busting her out of the hospital to have sex and go dancing. Looking back on it, his memories seemed clouded, as murky as his memories were as a drunk human. Bits and pieces seem missing altogether, but unforgettable was the high he had with her. Compounding the guilt, he suddenly realized that maybe Bonnie was right- the effect Elena was having on him was unusual. He had been too enamored with her, taking whatever attention he could get without second thought.

Dizziness overcame him again, causing him to slide down to the floor until he was sitting with his knees to his chest. Against better judgement, he took a sip of his drink. The hurricane of emotions he was currently feeling was out of his depth. He put the drink down on the rug, resting his head on his knees.

_Get it together Damon. Deal with the fucking emotions later. You turned it off for decades- you can make it through a single train of thought. You're sitting on the floor like a child- do something. Clearly it wasn't important that I went with them wherever they are, or else they would have taken me. They probably just think I'm still knocked out from the witchy-tea. You're pissed at them for leaving you locked up in here, so if you hunt them down you'll have to have some kind of argument. I'm too fucking dizzy for an argument right now, I want a shower. But I have to know what's going on… ugh_

Modern technology was his savior in the end. Pulling himself together, he decided that he would go upstairs, start the shower, and send a text to Alaric asking where everyone went. He could press  _send_  and then walk away, only checking his phone again once he's more calmed down.

_Best of both worlds._

He slowly stood up from the floor, careful of his balance since the dizziness still lingered. He picked up his glass of bourbon, topping it off as he walked past the bar cart. Feeling like an invalid, he used the railing as he scaled the stairs- something he never did as a human, let alone as a vampire. His eyes were still adjusting to the ambient light throughout the house, even though at this point it was just after dusk and relatively dark. His lungs were thankful for the fresh, flowing air as he strode toward his bedroom. Opening the doors caused a rush of cedar and leather scent to overwhelm his senses, almost as foreign to him as the scent of a stranger's house compared to the sour scent of the basement.

Before he was even fully in the room, he started to strip out of his dirty clothes, starting with his t-shirt. He lifted it over his head, the black cotton clinging to his chest as it peeled off his body. His nipples pebbled at the sudden rush of cool air, emphasizing his toned, alabaster pecs. He threw the shirt to the floor in careless abandon, beginning a trail of clothes that would lead to the bathroom. Next was his belt, sliding it out of his belt loops slowly before tossing the belt to the floor with a clang. He walked past his dresser, pressing play on the CD player, setting the mood for his self-indulgent shower. He removed his phone from his pocket, placing it on the dresser while he finished undressing.

As music started to fill the cathedral-like room, he started disrobing a bit more dramatically, enjoying the act of showing off even if there was nobody there to watch. His thumbs played with the button on his waistband for a second before popping it open, exposing the top of the zipper. He grasped the zipper between his index finger and thumb, dragging it down tooth by tooth before pulling his hand away. He left his pants agape for a moment, the waistband of his boxer briefs peeking out the open crotch. He stretched his head to the side, cracking his neck and showing off his intricately defined shoulder muscles. Now almost to the bathroom, he looped his thumbs through the loops of his jeans, shimmying out of the dusty denim. He stepped out of the pants, leaving them near the dresser and snatching back his phone.

Walking into the bathroom wearing only his underwear, he flipped open his phone and began tapping out a text message. The tiny clicks echoed off of the marble walls of the bathroom, each letter taunting him as he wanted to get into the shower as fast as possible.

_Hey Ric. Just woke up. House is empty, we should have a party before the parents get home!_

Satisfied with his message, he smirked to himself, placing the phone on the bathroom sink. For the first time, he was face to face with a mirror. He looked as grimey as he felt, flecks of dust and dirt on his face, his hair in pieces held together by grease. The stubble was casting a shadow on his chiseled features, but much to his surprise, he actually liked how it looked. He shrugged his bare shoulders, resolving to decide whether or not to shave once he was cleaner. The shower roared to life, steam pouring out the second he turned the handle. Moments like this, he was thankful he had paid for his bathroom to have a dedicated, instant water heater.

The only thing standing between him and his music filled, steamy shower was his boxer briefs. He pulled down on the waistband of the tight, stretchy modal fabric, the curve of his tight ass demanding a more forceful pull. The underwear slid down his legs and he stepped out of them, sliding them across the bathroom floor. He took a deep breath of the shower steam before stepping in, blissfully forgetting any of the problems he had been facing. Once he stepped under the rainfall shower head, even his vampire senses were dulled, barely able to hear his music over the sound of rushing water.

The buzz of his cell phone was easily missed, Alaric having responded to him almost immediately.

_Damon. If you leave that house, I swear to god…_

_We're already on our way back, will explain when I get back._

As Damon covered himself in soap suds, he scrubbed away any and all traces of his days spent in the dungeon. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something about the way the water was warming his skin felt different; he felt clean, alive, and at peace.


	24. The Stillness of Remembering What You Had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, the characters, or the stories. I do, however, enjoy bed and breakfasts, face masks, and long road trips- although I can't say the same for Elena!
> 
> Notes: Shifting back to Elena's point of view, we get to see how she deals with being away from both Damon and Mystic falls for the first time in a while. A few details are filled in here, in what is a relatively plot-scarce chapter. Really, this is just a much needed look into how Elena is dealing with everything right now. See the end of the chapter for some additional notes.
> 
> Chapter title song: 'Dreams'- Fleetwood Mac

Elena was a bit exhausted from the two hour car ride, but the journey didn't hold a candle to how exhausting Caroline's constant questioning had been. Almost every mile, she asked Elena again how she was feeling, as if suddenly at mile marker 23 she would start to feel sick. Caroline had chosen a terrible playlist of 'girl jams' and top 40 on her iPod for the journey, but honestly all Elena wanted to listen to was classic rock in Damon's convertible. For some reason recently, she was annoyed with the fact that not every car was a convertible. She looked out the window and let out a long, drawn out sigh, her legs itching to get out of the car and stretch a bit.

"I can hear your heart race when you're irritated you know." Caroline pointed out, half-smiling at Elena. "Don't worry- it's only about 20 more minutes away. Are you sure you're still not feeling sick? No nausea, headaches, dizziness-"

"Well actually, now that you mention it, my legs have fallen asleep, and the air is pretty stale, maybe I'm having a bit of a hard time breathing? My stomach, it keeps rumbling and-"

"Alright miss melodramatic. I know I almost kidnapped you on this girls trip, but you know we need this. All of your antics- it's a cry for help and you know it. If we just talk about things you'll feel so much better. Just, trust me, okay?"

Elena resisted the urge to roll her eyes, reminding herself that underneath Caroline's superficial nagging, her friend was nothing if not sincere. She smiled at Caroline and squeezed her friends shoulder.

"Thanks Care, I… I know I haven't been the easiest to be around lately. So, sure- I'll put on a game face for this."

"Oh my god yes I'm so excited you have no idea. I have so many cute plans for us. Face masks, nail polish, magazines. And, I know you should be cutting back but I did snag a bottle of French Champagne from the Salvatore house. Wait wait no you never answered my question. Seriously though, are you feeling ok?" Caroline's expression switched on a time, her blue eyes turning crystal-like with concern.

Despite all of Caroline's worry, Elena felt fine. Her mind was clearer, and she felt like all of the partying, the sex, the drugs, the blood, had all been just a distant memory. She couldn't quite remember how strong her attachment to Damon had been, and her feelings now were less intense, however she still felt a fondness for him that she couldn't quite understand or put her finger on. When her mind drifted to him, she felt warm, like he was a light and she was a moth. But with her brain back to normal and her logic back in full swing, she knew that these thoughts were not how she should feel. All of the terrible things he'd done mattered to her again, and she knew she still didn't forgive him. Maybe Caroline was right- a girl's weekend might give her some time to think. Without Stefan and Damon around, it would be a lot easier to think rationally.

After keeping Elena in the basement for a few days, Caroline had a grandiose idea of taking Elena on a road trip to see if the short detox had any effect on the familiar-related separation sickness that she and Damon had been feeling lately. They couldn't cut Elena off of Damon's blood cold turkey, so they had been giving her incrementally smaller amounts of blood every few hours. This morning, before they headed out, Elena had only been given a single drop of vampire blood, and so far, she was showing no withdrawal symptoms. Alaric had wanted to do a more intense detox, giving Elena a transfusion, but Stefan and Caroline had been insistent that it could do more harm than good, risking infection in her already frail body. It was tough to convince Bonnie and Stefan that two days was a long enough detox, but with Damon safely locked in the basement they didn't think that taking Elena on a relaxing trip could do any harm.

Stefan and Bonnie were on their way to Atlanta, tracking down a hoodoo witch that had written a book on the relationship between witches, familiars and vampire bonds, so it was just Caroline and Elena, on their way to Charleston to a quaint bed and breakfast that Caroline had found on the Southern Living blog. They were trusting the cage to hold Damon while Alaric ran a few errands to grab supplies from the hospital, despite their better judgement and Damon's normal predisposition for escaping. Caroline was determined to leave all of that behind them and spend the whole weekend focusing on Elena, her feelings, and how to get her back to normal.

As they pulled up to the outskirts of Charleston, bright houses with spacious front porches started to dot the side of the road. The part of town they were in made it look like time had stopped- something Elena wished had happened years ago. The whirlwind of supernatural drama had made the last year fly by. Now, it was a month into senior year and Elena hadn't even been to school more than a day or two. Palm trees towered over manicured gardens, looking somehow out of place and nostalgic at the same time. The last time Elena went to Charleston, she was 11- all awkward, gangly limbs and big, crooked-toothed smiles. It felt like lifetimes ago, but Elena knew that everyone had to grow up, even if she wasn't growing up in the way she wanted.

Rolling down the windows, the coastal air permeated the stale atmosphere in the car. Elena's lungs filled with the salty aroma as they got closer and closer to the shore. Soon, they were driving a road that hugged the shore, and Elena's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Wait, where are we going again?" The houses along the shoreline were massive, their pastel exteriors and lush gardens blocking out any view of the ocean.

"You'll see." Caroline grinned sheepishly, quickly turning the car into a palm-lined drive. She parked the compact SUV in a cobblestone parking lot, turning off the ignition and hopping out of the car. Elena followed suit, taking a few minutes to stretch her legs before hopping out, her human circulation less resilient than Caroline's. Caroline flung the hatch of the car, pulling out two paisley printed, quilted duffel bags.

"Wait, Caroline, what is this? I only packed this.." Elena held up a ragged backpack, her one from last school year.

"Well, full disclosure," She paused. " I think your entire wardrobe sucks, like you literally haven't bought any clothes in over a year, so I brought you some nice clothes to wear while we are here…. Shopping for some new clothes."

"Oh but I have bought clothes-"

"You mean the closet full of skanky designer clothes in Damon's fancy penthouse? Yeah- we left those behind remember, along with the rest of your bad decisions?"

Elena threw a glare at Caroline, curling in her bottom lip and pressing her mouth into a straight line.

"Sorry, I forgot. No picking sides. Judgement-free girl's trip zone." She hoisted the big bags out, easily throwing them over her slender shoulders. Elena timidly looped one arm through her backpack strap and followed a few paces behind Caroline, the breeze creating a cloud of sweet, floral air behind her- the result of her girly perfume. As they walked into the building, Elena couldn't help but notice how fancy this bed and breakfast was.

"Hey Care- where did we get the money to pay for this again?"

"Courtesy of a certain Salvatore brother." She whipped out a black Amex card. "You know, the cute one, with the hot black rose tattoo on his shoulder, the  _James Dean_ hair, jade green eyes, classic red muscle car and oh- did I mention he's single?" Caroline giggled, taunting her friend.

Before Elena could react, Caroline waltzed up to the front desk, confidently chatting with the concierge before grabbing a pair of keys. A hot, tanned bellhop grabbed all their bags, putting them onto a gold-plated trolley and leading them toward a small elevator. Their room was on the third floor, however, there was only a single set of french doors at the end of the hall. The bellboy opened the doors, revealing a spacious room with light, airy floral patterns, cozy armchairs, and two pillowy beds. There was a set of doors opening out to a balcony that directly opened up to the ocean. Everything about this room was drenched in femininity, and it was all painfully and unmistakably Caroline.

"You girls are lucky- it's still nice and warm for early fall. Why don't I go and open up these doors for you to get some fresh ocean air in here?" The doors flung open, the sheer white curtains billowing in the breeze. Elena loved the way the clean air felt on her skin, instantly bringing a sense of calm.

_Maybe Caroline was right. Maybe I do need this._

Caroline handed the boy a 100 dollar bill as a tip, smiling before compelling him not to tell anyone they were up here and to not let anyone up to the room. As the doors closed behind him leaving them alone, Caroline spiraled into full girl-time mode.

She walked over to the coffee table, grabbing two champagne flutes that were on a silver tray. Elena sat on a velvet chaise lounge, picking up the tiny note that Caroline left behind on the tray. The note was in a small envelope, sealed with a wax stamp that seemed to have the hotel logo on it. Carefully pulling at the seal, Elena opened the envelope, sliding out a piece of heavy card stock- the type you have to buy at a stationary store. The entire card was hand written in ink, but the content surprised her.

_Miss Gilbert and Miss Forbes,_

_Welcome to your home away from home._

_Prior to your arrival we received a telegram for you, transcribed below:_

_Elena,_

_I know I can't change your mind, but I hope that this trip can help you find yourself again, even if that means you won't want to be with me. I love you Elena, have a great time- Charleston has always been one of my favorite cities._

_Yours, Stefan_

_We hope the message was in good tidings. Please, do not hesitate to ask us for anything you may need, any time of the day or night._

Elena wasn't even aware that telegrams still existed- it was something she had only heard of in movies. The thought of Stefan reading out those words to someone over the phone was heartbreaking and invasive at the same time. Suddenly, Elena remembered all of the feelings she had had prior to running away- feelings of being suffocated by Stefan, pressured by Caroline, the stress of balancing school and the supernatural. Her heart began to race as all of the thoughts flooded in at once. Before she could fall into a spiral of anxiety, she heard the unmistakable 'pop' of a champagne cork, followed by a giggling Caroline and clinking champagne glasses. She was holding the two glasses in one hand, precariously pouring the champagne into one at a time. Vampire or not, the whole scene was incredibly awkward. Elena leaned forward, grabbing one of the flutes out of Caroline's hand. Grinning ear to ear, Caroline flopped herself down on the couch with Elena and placed the champagne bottle on the table.

"To a well-deserved girls' weekend-"

"With no supernatural drama" Elena chimed in, causing the girls to erupt into giggles before clinking their glasses.

_Maybe, just maybe, I can let myself actually enjoy this._

* * *

Elena was not enjoying this. She was trying her hardest, but at this point she had spent 30 minutes letting Caroline curl her hair, resisting the urge to point out that it would just make her look like Katherine, since they had promised 'no supernatural talk'. After that, she got dressed up in a floral sundress Caroline picked out with strappy high-heel wedges and they went to a restaurant where the food was way too expensive. With a little compulsion, Caroline grabbed them some mojitos and another bottle of champagne- Rose this time- from the hotel bar before going back up to their room. All Elena wanted to do was sleep, but instead Caroline put in a  _Sex in the City_ box set DVD and busted out matching pajamas, nail polish, and face masks. Three years ago, drinking in a hotel watching trash TV with her friend might have sounded awesome, but right now, all she wanted to do was sleep. Eventually, Caroline realized that Elena was probably tired and gave up for the night. To knock herself out, Caroline upended the rest of the champagne bottle, drinking the whole thing in seconds before flicking out the lights.

"Goodnight Elena. I can't wait for tomorrow!"

Those words stung Elena just a little. The guilt of pretending to enjoy the night out sank in. When they were little, Caroline would say this every time at a sleepover, and in return Elena would always say the same thing back.

"Close your eyes- next time you open them, it will be tomorrow." Elena tried to make her voice sound happy, but instead she just felt confused and restless.

As she laid alone in bed, she couldn't help but feel a bit of dissatisfaction. Caroline had promised that they would talk through her problems, however she declared that the first night would just be about ignoring everything, relaxing and having fun- three things that right now, Elena was completely unable to do. It was just this morning that she was still weaning off of Damon's blood, and that wasn't something you can easily ignore. Knowing that she had to go back and deal with the consequences of her actions? That was something that wasn't particularly relaxing either.

She tried, hopelessly to sleep, but her physical exhaustion was no match for the cyclone of thoughts in her brain. Without Caroline's constant chatter, she could finally think again, and it was overwhelming. She hadn't told Caroline about Stefan's note, but she was sure Caroline knew. They were always talking about her, about how he could get her back, how he was the better brother for Elena to be with, and how all of Elena's decisions lately were just Damon's fault. Elena knew that wasn't true, that she was the one who rebelled first, and that Damon just somehow got entangled in the situation, but she knew that Stefan would never believe that.

What confused her though was how easily she was swept up in the adventure of it all. Once Damon joined in on her rebellion, she felt completely free. Suddenly someone was telling her she could do whatever she wanted, and she jumped at the opportunity to think for herself. It seemed almost surreal how quickly she went from sitting at home, brooding over doppelganger drama with Stefan to living in New York doing whatever she wanted. She left it all behind so quickly- Mystic Falls, Stefan, responsibility- and now that she was sober, she almost couldn't relate to the unbridled energy she threw into her escapism. She learned how to be impulsive, reckless, and have fun, but not all of those impulse decisions led to pleasant consequences.

Breaking up with Stefan had been an impulse decision. She did it because she wanted Damon, in that moment, she wanted him with every fiber of her being, more than she'd ever wanted anything before. That type of all-consuming passion, where all logic is thrown out the window was new to Elena. She had felt almost nothing but pain since her parents died, and from the moment Stefan saved her from Wickery Bridge, he had been her safety. Nothing about Damon was safe, and when she was with him, she didn't care. The only thing clouding her memory was her desire to rebel. She didn't know how to separate the intoxication from the passion, the rebellion from the desire. As her mind began to wander, heat pooled into her thighs, her back arching to shift her hips to relieve her discomfort.

She knew she shouldn't be feeling these things. The sensual feelings the thought of Damon stirred in her weren't rooted in the type of relationship Elena thought she was supposed to have. While she was with him, it didn't matter to her if they were dating, if they were in love, or if they were soul mates. All she felt was desire, the need to be close to him, to be one with him- and if she was honest, she wasn't quite mature enough to know how to unpack that situation. Suddenly, all she could think about was sex with Damon. Her pulse quickened as she clenched her thighs together. She felt naughty- Caroline was in the bed next to her separated only by a nightstand, and here she was, getting hot and bothered.

Usually, Elena didn't feel this much need when she was alone. Sure, she had sexual thoughts, sexual dreams, but until she was with Damon, she didn't even know how aroused she could be. Every time she tried to shove these thoughts down, they just came back stronger and stronger. She tossed and turned under the covers, fluffing her pillow and huffing with angst. Her hands were drifting down toward her pussy, but she stopped herself, knowing she could never do that with a friend so close by. She rarely did it at home, in private, let alone with Caroline in the room. She felt dirty just at the thought of it, and desperately wanted to go to sleep and stop this thinking in its tracks.

She wanted to stop thinking about how Damon would fall asleep in bed with her, only to wake her up with his head between her legs, tracing his tongue along the contours of her entrance. She wanted to stop thinking about how sometimes, while he was sleeping, he would massage her breasts, pulling her tighter into his embrace. Elena's hand had migrated to her breast, cupping herself over top of the silky pajama fabric. The soft silk reminded her of how many pieces of lingerie she and Damon had ruined- coming home from nights out completely hammered, ripping each other's clothes off in desperation. Some dresses and bras were stained with blood, some Elena's, some Damon's, as they drank from each other with reckless abandon. Elena tilted her neck back reflexively as she grabbed her breast harder, longing for the feeling of Damon's fangs in her neck. Without realizing it, her other hand had drifted between her legs. The second her fingers began to drift below her underwear, she jolted to attention, suddenly aware of what she had been doing.

Nervously, she glanced over to see if Caroline was still sleeping, or if perhaps her vampire senses were somehow aware of her actions. Luckily, Caroline was completely passed out next to her. Desperate for sleep, Elena got up from bed, quietly padding over to the minibar. She grabbed a tiny bottle of vodka, throwing the entire thing back before making her way back to bed. She lathered on some lavender hand lotion, inhaling the calming aroma before laying back in bed. Caroline had packed matching silk eye masks, which seemed like a silly idea until Elena had this bought of sexually-repressed insomnia. Elena slipped the mask over her eyes, fluffing her pillow one last time before resolving to go to bed. When the vodka kicked in, she finally began to drift to sleep.

* * *

_Elena hopped out of the elevator, putting her yoga mat next to the door before making a beeline for the stairs. Yoga class today had been fun, but she was more than ready to take a long, steamy shower before Damon came home from whatever errand he was doing today. She began to fiddle with her ponytail once she got to the bedroom, struggling a bit with the elastic band. Before she could undo it, her scalp flared in pain as she felt someone grab her by the ponytail and whip her around. Her breath hitched as she found herself chest to chest with Damon- shirtless Damon._

_Through her spandex leggings, she could feel his erection rubbing against her, his eyes transfixed on her like she was his next meal, which she was desperately hoping she would be._

" _How was class kitten?" He pulled more tightly on her hair, causing her to arch her neck backward, exposing every vein and artery to him. All Elena could muster in response was a light moan._

" _How about we test out some of those new moves-" He leaned in, his fangs ghosting her ear as he whispered to her. "After a snack of course."_

_Without hesitation, he bit down hard, causing Elena to shriek in response. Usually focused on gentle pleasure, Damon learned that sometimes Elena loved it when he was rough, vicious and dangerous. She knew he would never really hurt her, but the pain turned her on in ways she couldn't understand._

_He took just enough blood to make her a bit lightheaded before picking her up and tossing her onto the bed. He straddled her on the bed, glancing up at the ceiling in a brief moment of distraction._

" _Hmm, maybe next time you should learn how to do arial silks. I'd love to see you tied up and dangling from the ceiling." He flipped her over, contorting her into a position somewhere between doggy-style and child's pose. "This will have to do for now"_

_Elena let out a deep laugh. The feeling of his strong hands all over her body, moving her around as he saw fit was intoxicating. She felt like she had no power, like she was a victim to his pleasure. He pulled down her yoga pants, exposing her ass to the cool air of the loft. Her skin pebbled at the change in temperature._

" _Oh, are you a little cold? Why don't I warm you up." He slapped her on the ass, just hard enough to leave a handprint. Elena giggled, and he grunted in response._

" _You thought that was funny? " He slapped her on the ass a bit harder._

" _No Damon- Harder" He didn't listen to her, instead, sinking his fangs into the curves of her juicy ass. He gripped the cheek as he drank in just a few drops, focusing on Elena's sensations as opposed to feeding. Elena gasped before moaning into the pain. Damon ripped off the rest of her leggings before flipping her back over._

" _Hmm, you're still too overdressed. Take off your bra."_

_Elena sheepishly removed her sports bra, her perky breasts lightly jiggling as they dropped out of the tight spandex. Damon immediately pinched both nipples, causing her breasts to rise to attention._

" _You know, usually I like to let you wait when I can tell you want me this badly, but I think this one time I'm going to give you what you want- but only if you ask nicely-" His trademark smirk unfurled, his eyes devilish._

" _Damon will you-"_

" _Ah ah ah- that wasn't nicely" He shook his finger at her before leaning back and sliding out of his own boxers. Completely nude, he locked eyes with her, waiting to hear the magic words._

" _Please Damon, will you fuck me?" As her wide eyes looked up to him, glistening with desire, he reached down between her legs to make sure she was wet enough for him. Much to his satisfaction, she was nearly dripping with want for him. Without any more warning, he thrust into her with all the force she could handle, causing her to scream out his name._

"DAMON!" She yelled. She shot up from the bed, sitting there in the dark as her heart raced. In the bed beside her, the sheets rustled as Caroline turned over, leaning her head on her arm as she stared at Elena judgingly.

"Have a nice dream Elena?" Her voice was dripping daggers.

"Oh hey Care, I'm sorry for waking you up. I was just having a nightmare-"

"A nightmare? Where you moan for a few minutes before screaming  _Damon's_  name?" Elena looked away, embarrassed. "Look, I can't judge where your mind goes while you sleep. I've had plenty of… dreams… about people I shouldn't have-" Caroline didn't have to say it, but Elena knew she was talking about Klaus. "Look, why don't we just go back to sleep and talk about this over brunch in the morning."

"That sounds great Care. Well, goodnight again."

Elena turned over, unsure if she could handle the embarrassment of another sex dream with her friend in the same room. Her other option, however was to stay awake and sit with her thoughts about the fact that she can't help herself when it comes to thinking about Damon, and facing those thoughts was even worse, so she let herself drift back off to sleep, already dreading the conversations to come in the morning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot note: It's important to remember that Damon and Elena's emotions prior to this had been strongly superficial, given that the bond they were feeling from essentially having the same combination of each other's blood in their veins was producing a magical-high. We all know that deep down, their bond is consuming and true, however neither of them are mature enough or self- aware enough at this point to admit that. Damon still thinks that she could never really love him, and Elena still does remember the bad things that he did. This is still high-school Elena, even if she is partying, drinking, and doing things that might make her seem a bit older (like college vampire Elena). This is before a lot of the events that brought them closer together, and before some of the events that tore her and Stefan farther apart. Since this diverges from canon quite a bit, the timeline will be different, however don't worry, it will not converge with canon again. ;) I still want Elena to do some growing up, and for Damon's sober mind to give her the advice her drunk mind was trying to resolve. We have to remember ( as I am now) that Damon couldn't even handle Alaric dying, so dealing with Elena's complex grief and emotions is not something that would be easy for him. OK, OK I'm done babbling. I hope you enjoy!


	25. Pull the Earth Around Me To Make My Bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, the stories, or the characters. I love to have my way with them though!
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter title song: 'Ship to Wreck'- Florence and the Machine

When Damon gets out of the shower, the house isn't quite so quiet anymore. The roaring water of a 12-jet Vichy shower tends to interfere with his vampire hearing, so he can't be entirely sure when Alaric came back, but now he knows without a doubt- the sound of Alaric's clunky hunter boots and the sharp scent of his aftershave were unmistakably him. Damon quickly threw on a black sweater and jeans- through his cracked windows, he could feel that cooler autumn air was beginning to roll off of the mountains and into their little town in central Virginia.

Downstairs, Alaric was putting away bags from the store, the plastic rustling around and cabinets opening and closing. Damon wasn't sure if Alaric could've heard his shower running, so there was a slight possibility that he still thought Damon was locked downstairs. While he had texted Alaric, he didn't trust the technologically-illiterate middle-aged history teacher to actually check his phone. To avoid startling a vampire hunter, he made an unnecessary amount of noise going down the staircase in an effort to avoid a stake being thrown into his chest.

"Hello Ric, I see you went shopping." Damon called down before he turned down the landing of the stairs. Even from two rooms away, he could hear Alaric sigh in frustration. When he got to the kitchen, he saw an assortment of blood bags sitting in an open cooler, a bag full of random supplies like chains and duct tape, and a generous supply of snacks and human food.

"I see you got out, Damon. I'd say I'm surprised, but this is what I get for leaving you alone for an hour and a half." His voice was seething with annoyance, but Damon chose not to engage, completely ignoring Alaric's attitude.

"Ooh- Doritos. Did you get some Mountain Dew and an Xbox to match?" Damon grabbed the bag, tossing it lightly in the air before ripping it open and throwing a neon-orange chip in his mouth. He made a show of crunching it as loudly as possible, purposely pushing past Alaric and bumping into him as he walked through the kitchen.

"Damon, you're lucky that I'm not vervain-ing you and throwing you back into the cellar right now. It probably isn't the smartest thing to go out of your way to be an ass. Even more of an ass than usual, actually." He turned to face his friend, his face less hostile than his words.

"Trust me, this isn't my worst. I'm letting  _you_  off easy for leaving me in the basement to rot. For two days." He ate another chip, taking his time to lick the powder off his fingers afterward.  
"Now, I'm not going to lie, it felt like I was in there for months based on how desiccated I felt, but-"

"Wait, what are you talking about? You go without feeding for that long all the time. Do you think that it has anything to do with Elena being gone?"

"Well, judging to the fact that the cellar doesn't look like the hallway from The Shining, I think this is something else." Damon put down the bag of Doritos, filing through the cooler of blood bags and picking one out.

"So what were your symptoms? You seem pretty fine now." Looking Damon up and down, something seemed a bit off about him, but nothing Alaric could put his finger on. Damon absentmindedly rubbed the blood bag back and forth in his hands, lightly warming it.

"Okay doc, I'll tell you my symptoms. First off, when I woke up I was weak. I don't expect to feel fantastic after sleeping for two days, but this felt like I hadn't had blood in weeks. Actually, I assumed that I  _had_  been out for weeks. Side effect of some witchy juju or something, since I had enough stubble for almost a month.

"You get stubble? I've never seen you with facial hair before."

"As a vampire, your body functions exactly like a human, but everything is slower. Except healing, of course." He pointed at Alaric before biting the top of the blood bag, ripping off the top and walking over to the cabinet to grab out a mug. He upended the bag, the thick sound of pouring blood making Alaric a bit uneasy. He walked toward the microwave, punching in the buttons to heat the blood for 57 seconds. Over the years, through trial and error, Damon had found the exact amount of time you had to warm blood for it to reach that sweet, human-body temperature of 98.6. As the microwave whirred to life, he leaned back against the counter, pushing up his sleeves and crossing his arms.

"So to answer your question, yes, I grow facial hair, but I shave probably once a month- maximum. I figured that between dehydration and time, it had been at least a few weeks prison sentence for me. When I woke up, I couldn't hear or smell anyone, so I broke out and drank a few bags of blood to get back on my feet. It wasn't until I decided to text you all that I was up that I noticed that it hadn't been two weeks, but rather two days. I could have freaked out, but I didn't go through all that effort breaking out to stress myself out even more, so I drank some bourbon and took a nice, long,  _steamy_ shower." He wiggled his eyebrows at Alaric suggestively before opening the microwave, catching it right before it beeped.

"And that's it? You were kind of tired and weak, and you had five o' clock shadow?" Alaric looked at Damon, incredibly confused.

"Yep." He articulated the 'p'. "Oh, well that and I was a little dizzy, and cold. I don't remember the last time I felt cold but-" Damon took a long sip from his mug, but immediately began to gag. The blood spat out of his mouth uncontrollably as Damon moved to lean over the sink.

"What the fuck did you do to this blood Ric?" Damon's voice barked impatiently.

"Nothing I-"

"Then you picked some shitty, rotten bags then."

"They're from a blood drive  _yesterday_. Are they vervaining the blood again or something?"

"No, it just tastes like hot garbage." Damon spat out the last bit in his mouth. He turned on the faucet, leaning over to drink a few gulps of water to rinse out his mouth. "And here I was, complaining about the supply in the basement that seemed a little off, but this is a thousand times worse. Talk about  _the grass is greener on the other side._ " He tried to grin, cracking a joke at Alaric, but his face was betraying it.

Damon looked downright green, like he was about to throw up.

"You really don't look great Damon, want me to grab you a bag from downstairs?"

"Yeah, sure Ric." Alaric walked swiftly toward the basement. Once he was safely alone, Damon took a few sniffs of his mug again. All he smelled was a sour, ferrous scent. Something about it made him feel a bit lightheaded. He shook it off.

_Must have just been one gross human._

He reached into the cooler, picking out a bag with a different donor ID and different blood type. B-, his favorite. Feeling lazy, he just ripped off the top, cautiously sniffing the bag. He hadn't thought it possible, but this one smelled worse than the other. Frustrated, he tossed it in the trash, holding his breath while he rinsed out the mug in the sink.

When Alaric came back with a new bag, he was starting to get nervous.

"Here you go- bottoms up." Alaric plopped a bag into Damon's hand. Reading the label, he could see that it was the same donor as the one from this morning.

_Not my favorite, but at least it's going to be better than this toxic waste._

He eagerly ripped off the top and took a big gulp before immediately throwing his hand over his mouth and running toward the sink again. This time, he actually vomited- Doritos and all.

"Alright, this is something I don't particularly feel like dealing with now. I'm sticking to bourbon for the rest of the day." He walked into the living room to grab his decanter, Alaric cautiously following behind him. Damon flopped onto a couch, clutching only the bottle.

"You sure you want to drink out of the bottle, after just throwing up?"

"Bold of you to assume that I won't finish this bottle in one go Alaric." Damon held up the decanter to the light, the crystal casting rainbows around the room. He lightly shook it back and forth, showing it was only half full. Alaric resigned himself to the fact that yes, his friend would definitely finish half the bottle. Hell, even with his human liver Alaric could almost give him a run for his money if it was only half a bottle. Damon took a generous swig, the alcohol burning the back of his throat a bit.

"Did you just… wince at the taste of alcohol?" Alaric was growing more confused by the second. Damon however, just rolled his eyes.

"I  _just_  threw up. Literally a minute ago. Stomach acid is not something a vampire body is used to. Don't worry about it."

"Yes Damon- you just threw up. You threw up at the taste of blood, aren't you the least bit concerned?"

"Guess I'm just not  _in the mood._ " Damon raised his eyebrows and took another generous gulp of alcohol. "Now, onto more important things. Where is everyone else, and how did I get stuck with one babysitter while Elena gets three?"

"Bonnie and Stefan are on their way to Atlanta following a lead for a witch that might know something about familiars and vampire sire bonds. Elena and Caroline are- now this wasn't my idea- on a girl's trip to Charleston."

"A girl's trip? I get locked in a basement and blondie takes Elena….. on a girl's trip? I, for one, am completely insulted. I can drink mimosas and eat brunch with the best of them." He took another swig. "Plus, I'm  _fantastic_  at gossip."

"The only reason we indulged her idea was to see if you and Elena were still experiencing the physical effects of separation, which, in my opinion you clearly are. I just got off the phone with Caroline who claims Elena is fine, but maybe since you're supernatural you're more sensitive to the magic involved. I mean, Elena wasn't exactly coughing up her insides when you stayed behind in New York, so maybe the effects are just muted for her." Alaric leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Look Damon, to be honest, none of us have any idea what's going on. The only one with any idea is Bonnie, and ever since she interrogated you and Elena, she's gone a bit silent. I don't know what you told her, but the second she was finished she was packing her bags to go to Atlanta."

"So wait, why did Stefan go to Atlanta with Bonnie instead of staying with Elena? Let's be real here, the main reason you all are going through this is because sweet, innocent Elena went off the rails and dumped her  _one true love_  Stefan, so wouldn't he want to swoop in try to win her back? Champagne, roses, all of that romantic  _whatnot_? It doesn't seem like him to run off with BonBon and leave Elena in the hands of the homecoming queen. I mean Caroline isn't the most responsible person in the world. Seems a little  _negligent_ to me." Damon's voice had turned bitter as he gulped down more alcohol.

"Are we really back to this Damon? The jealousy game? Okay, you want the truth? Yes, at the beginning we were trying to get the real Elena back, and yes, of course we all thought she would run back to Stefan, but now? I don't know. This shouldn't be a surprise to you, but Stefan doesn't really want to be around either of you right now. Elena started to act a lot more like herself once we weaned her off your blood, but she didn't exactly… reset to her factory settings. Stefan tried to talk to her, but she pushed him away, like actually pushed him and stormed out of the room, kinda weird. So yeah- he's sticking with Bonnie and just doing the one thing he can to help you two that won't hurt him anymore- getting to the bottom of this weird soul bond."

"Huh, so the hero left Gotham, but didn't hang up his cape." Damon had a thousand yard stare, trying to digest that his brother all but gave up on Elena. He should be jumping with joy at the revelation, that he wouldn't have to fight a jealous brother anymore, but at the same time he felt… guilty.

"After all of that, I don't want to hear any more of this  _Elena could never want me, I'm the scorned brother destined to be alone so I'm going to act out and rebel_  shtick. She's her own person- remember that. As much as I hate to admit it, you have a real shot with her this time. Don't fuck it up by acting like a dismissive, callous douche bag."

The room was silent, save for the sound of bourbon sloshing each time Damon took a sip. Alaric finally spoke up, his voice almost a whisper.

"I know you love her. You're not the best with your feelings, and I know that people doubt your intentions, but I'm your best friend. You want what's best for her, and deep down, I know that you want to be  _your_ best for her. So don't screw it up buddy."

* * *

"Alright Caroline, we've had brunch, we got pedicures, can we go back home now?" Elena whined as she trudged through the cobblestone streets, weighed down by bags full of clothes that Caroline made her buy.

"It's girls  _weekend_  not girls  _21 hours_. Plus, tonight I figured we could go to a couple bars! You can put one of your new dresses on, I can do your hair again…"

"We did all of that last night-"

"Okay then, fine. We can stay in, order pizza, and read the new book I bought you."

"You bought me… a book?"

"Yes Elena, when is the last time you read something. Remember how much you used to love reading? Sitting in your window seat? Writing in your journal…. You know, all that moody, boring introvert stuff that I could  _never_  understand."

Elena had to come up with a good excuse if Caroline was going to give in and let her go home. She felt trapped in a nightmare of toxic positivity, getting dragged behind a steam train of girl time. All she wanted right now, more than anything, was to be in her room, by herself, writing in her journal.

"Well, if you want me to read, why don't we go home so I can catch up on my reading for English class.  _Someone_  signed me up for AP Lit, so I'm  _really_  behind."

"I signed you up for literature because you were too busy being a runaway to sign up for classes, so I signed you up for all of mine! Plus, if we want to go to college together, we should take all the same classes- no slacking for you."

"Right, but you changed my schedule  _after_  I came back. I actually was signed up for all the easy classes. You can't compel my way through an AP Exam you know." She pouted, narrowing her eyes at Caroline.

"Ugh maybe I thought that having a bit more responsibility would make you want to stay in school this time Elena." Caroline's voice became shrill as she stopped in her tracks. Up until this point, Elena had just been following her a few paces behind, but with the sudden stop they were now face to face. Elena wanted to argue back, use some of her newfound confidence, but this was Caroline she was talking to. She already lost so many people, she can't lose Caroline too, especially over just caring too much. At least, now that she's off Damon's blood she had a bit more restraint and was able to pull herself back. Secretly, she missed the way he emboldened her like that.

"You're right. So let's get back." She reached forward, putting down her bags and gently putting her hand on Caroline's shoulder. Elena smiled, half genuine, half in an attempt to get out of this situation. "Seeing how much you care today, seeing how much fun we can have just… being normal teenage girls- it makes me want to go back home and try to get back to that. Enjoy our senior year,  _graduate._  Plus, who knows how much drama might come our way. If I get back on track, maybe when it all hits the fan later we won't completely fail out."

Caroline smiled at her. Elena really pulled at her heartstrings.

"Elena, you're going to make me cry. I can't believe I finally got through to you. " She dropped her shopping bags too, pulling Elena into a stiff hug. "Ugh, of course I'll take you back. We can get right back to work- I'll make sure nobody even remembers you were gone." She pulled back, grabbing Elena by the arm, linking at the elbows. "Come on, let's go back and get on the road right away. If we go now, we can maybe be back for dinner, get a good night sleep and spend all Sunday getting you ready for Monday!"

Caroline and Elena were on the road less than an hour later, Caroline's compact SUV filled to the brim with brightly colored bags full of new clothes. Elena kicked her feet back on the dash, grabbing her iPod out of her purse and reaching around the console for the aux cable.

"Hey! I made a whole playlist for this trip-" Caroline whined.

"Yes, and we listened to it all the way here. It's my turn now." Elena smirked. Tired of all of Caroline's feel good girl music, she picked something completely opposite of  _Girl's just want to have fun_. "But, in the spirit of girls' trip," Elena sighed, trying not to roll her eyes. "I'll still pick something road trip worthy…."

The familiar chords of Caroline's least favorite song started to bop through the speakers as they sped back off toward central Virginia.

_Where it began, I can't begin to knowing_

_But then I know it's growing strong…_

"Elena! No! You  _know_  I hate this!" She squealed.

"I think  _Sweet Caroline_  is the kindest form of revenge I can get for curling my hair." The girls giggled as Elena queued up some actual music for the rest of the journey.

An hour in, they stopped for lattes at a cute cafe before heading right back on the road. Caroline powered on until they were about an hour away from Mystic Falls.

"Oh Elena, now that we're getting closer to home- now, don't hate me for this, I know you're tired of me asking- but do you  _feel_ any different?"

"The answer is still no Care- that's good, right?" Elena stared at the window, her feet on the dash as she leaned back. She had actually been relaxing pretty well before Caroline brought back up the withdrawal sickness. "But, why are you asking? I felt fine yesterday too."

"Well, didn't you forget? You didn't have any of Damon's blood today. That single drop Friday morning was the last you had, and you seem fine. I don't want to jinx anything, but I think it's over! Vampire blood can't stay in the system for more than 24 hours, especially such a small amount as a single drop. You, Elena Gilbert, have officially survived vampire blood detox!"

"Huh, I guess you're right." Elena wasn't quite sure how she felt about it, but she knew she didn't want to talk about it any more. She really had meant it when she said she just wanted to go back to normal, if normal was even something relatively achievable anymore. "With that reassurance, I'm going to take a quick nap. We're only about an hour away from home, right?"

Caroline clicked the mute button on the stereo.

"Don't say another word Elena. Get your beauty sleep- you deserve it!"

Elena readjusted her feet on the dash, leaning her head against the car window and letting her eyes drift closed. She was relieved Caroline dropped the questioning so quickly, hoping that it meant that the worst of her consequences of rebellion were over. As she fell asleep, she half smiled, her shoulders relaxing and her mind feeling at peace.

* * *

Wheels squealed, the smell of hot rubber filling the air in the car. Elena jolted awake the second the airbags deployed, her consciousness not lasting long before the force of the crash knocked her out. Her body limp, the seatbelt barely held her as the car rolled sideways off the curved road and into a ditch.

Caroline watched helpless, trapped in the driver's seat by the airbag as the car flipped over and over. She wanted to bust out, and lean over to grab Elena, but she couldn't even tell up from down, her free arm grasping hopelessly at empty air. Elena's face was lifeless, shards of glass lodging themselves in her face each time another window shattered. Tears streamed down Caroline's face, streaks of heavy black mascara bleeding down. She hadn't seen the other car coming, not even with her heightened vampire senses. A huge pickup truck had t-boned them at an intersection right before a hairpin turn. The location of the wreck couldn't have been worse. They were in a secluded rural area about 30 miles outside of town, where the sides of the road dropped off directly into a 20 foot ravine. As glass, smoke and branches flew past her face, she cursed herself for every part of the situation she could have changed. Maybe if she had driven faster, slower, been faster at reacting, had a different car, they wouldn't be toppling off of a small cliff. Even though the entire fall only took about half a minute, for Caroline, it seemed to last forever.

The car finally stopped moving, resting upside down with the back of the car wrapped around a tree. Finally able to break out of her seat, Caroline punched the airbag and ripped off her seatbelt. As fast as she could, she did the same for Elena, dragging her out of the open car window and resting her on the forest floor. Elena's feet had been resting on the dash, and when the car crashed, the airbag immediately crunched them sideways in an unnatural motion. As she saw her laying on the ground, she could see that at least one of her legs was clearly broken at the knee.

"Elena," She started lightly slapping her in the face. "Elena wake up. Please, wake up." She could hear that her friend's breath was shallow, her heartbeat slow. Elena had a gash in her forehead and a piece of glass lodged in her neck- thankfully just missing her jugular. Blood was still pouring out of her at record speeds, almost as fast as tears were falling from Caroline's eyes.

Caroline clamped her teeth in to her wrist, immediately pressing it onto Elena's mouth. Usually, humans would instinctively begin to suck down the blood, its taste slightly sweet. She could tell that Elena wasn't swallowing it, her wrist beginning to heal before Elena even drank a single drop. She bit in again, this time making a deeper gash before squeezing her wrist, making sure enough went down Elena's throat to force her to swallow. Angling Elena's head up a little, she rubbed her throat, sighing when she felt Elena finally swallow. She waited a few seconds before removing the piece of glass from her friend's neck, giving the vampire blood some time to work in her system.

"Sorry about this Elena, but it will hurt a lot less while you're passed out than it will when you're awake."

With a click, she set Elena's legs to at least be straight, figuring it would help the vampire blood heal the broken bones easier. The girl scout first aid badge was finally coming in handy.

It took way too long for Elena to wake up. After frantically calling Alaric and Stefan, she held Elena tightly to her chest, shaking at the thought that her friend might not wake up. The vampire blood healed all of Elena's wounds, and her legs seemed to fuse back together, but she wasn't sure how vampire blood would heal a concussion- or worse- brain damage.

So when Elena's eyes fluttered open, Caroline cried in the happiest way possible.

"Elena, I'm so glad you're ok." She smiled, stroking the hair out of Elena's face and kissing her friend on the forehead. "Don't worry. Alaric is on his way, we're going to get you to the hospital."

* * *

Alaric and Damon were still on the couch an hour later, Damon having completely demolished the bottle of bourbon as they mindlessly chatted about nothing. After the heart-to-heart, they had fallen back into their normal, best friend banter.

"I'm just saying Ric, you really should try getting out of this small town sometime. There are  _much_  better places to be a moody alcoholic- trust me."

Before Damon could digress into a tangent about his year and a half in Barcelona, they were interrupted by Alaric's phone ringing. Normally, Damon loved to eavesdrop, but he was currently too tipsy to care about paying attention to a human's phone call. After a few seconds, Alaric hung up the phone.

"There's been an accident." Alaric's face was completely white. "We need to go get Elena and Caroline."

Damon sat up immediately, his head swimming at the sudden movement. Somehow he felt a bit drunker than usual, but his concern for Elena was sobering him up quickly.

"Is she ok?" Damon blurted out, his face becoming severe.

"I don't know. Caroline says she won't wake up. They're about 30 minutes outside of town." Damon stood up, wobbling a bit on his feet. "And uh- I'll drive."

"Okay but you better go fast grandp-" Before he could finish the sentence, Damon collapsed, his entire body going limp and the life draining from his face. Alaric was torn between going to get Elena and helping Damon, but ultimately helping the human won out. After all, he was Elena's guardian. Right before he left, he hoisted Damon onto the couch, resting his head on a pillow.

"Don't worry buddy- We'll deal with you next." He patted Damon's cheek roughly before rushing off and grabbing his keys.

He managed to get to Caroline and Elena in 20 minutes flat, doing at least twice the speed limit the entire time, crossing his fingers he wouldn't get pulled over. Pulling his car over to the side of the road, he put on his hazard lights before hopping out and making his way carefully down the ravine. His boots slipped as he walked down, catching himself with his hand and scraping it on a branch. With the adrenaline of worrying about Elena, he didn't even feel the pain.

"Caroline I got here as fast as I can." He called out as he approached the girls, Caroline still hunched over Elena's body. The sight of the car, mangled and upside down put a pit in Alaric's stomach, but even from a few feet away he could see that Elena's eyes were half open and she was breathing.

"It's fine, totally fine. I gave her some of my blood- she just woke up." Caroline gave him a half smile.

"I brought some bandages and pain medicine anyway, but it looks like at this point all of her cuts are almost healed. Come on, let's get her to the car and to the hospital as fast as possible. Well… not too fast."

Alaric bent down to pick up Elena when suddenly Caroline stopped him.

"Vampire strength, remember. We can't have you go hurting your back and getting you out of commission as well." She looked at him with kind eyes.

"Hey, Elena, we are taking you home, back to Mystic Falls, ok?" Caroline whispered as she lifted Elena lightly. Her eyes were half open and glassy, Caroline unable to tell if she was really conscious or not. As they walked to the car, Elena went a bit more limp as her eyes fell closed.

"She just passed out again." Caroline called after Ric.

"Care, she just survived a disastrous car wreck. And she survived, thanks to you. If all she does is pass out, I call that a victory."

At that very moment, 30 miles away in the empty Salvatore Boarding house, Damon lurched forward, gasping for air. His heart raced as he realized he was alone, that Alaric had gone to get Elena without him, and he couldn't stand the idea of not being there with her. His heart kept racing, almost like panic. A sweat broke out on his forehead and his stomach felt sick. As his breath quickened he realized- this isn't how a vampire's body reacts to stress.

This is how a human's body does.


	26. You Hate Your Pulse Because it Thinks You're Still Alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, the stories, or the characters. Also, I don't own a bottle of bourbon. If I did, I would have finished this story MONTHS ago, and it would have been terrible, more terrible than it already is.
> 
> Title Credit: 'Be Calm'- Fun
> 
> Notes: I hope y'all enjoyed the plot twist! Where will it go next! The world may never know. Also, when you get to the part with the singing bowls, just know that I was going to put in a nice little tidbit for steroline fans, however my wonderful beta decided that it would make the chapter too long. So, if you're interested in a fic where Stefan helps Caroline learn how to do meditation, I could probably arrange something fluffy like that. PS: Yes, I live in a fantasy world where Stefan showed singing bowls to Caroline, who showed them to Alaric so they could both use them on Lizzie. If you don't know who Lizzie is, please finish TVD.

"Look Bonnie, I'm so sorry that we can't talk to the witch longer, but we have to get back to Elena as fast as we can."

"It's…. Fine I guess. She gave me some of her grimoires to read and I have her phone number now, so we should be able to get what we needed. I just wish I could have stayed behind…" Bonnie fought the urge to cross her arms and pout. For once, she found a resource that not only helped her solve the current situation, but seemed hopeful to help her in the future. She craved a mentor, someone who could teach her how to be a witch- a good witch, who helps people. Ever since Grams died, she was on her own- clutching to grimoires, internet chat rooms, and occasional visions to guide her.

"But what if Elena needs you? Could you really leave her there like that, completely vulnerable?" Stefan was gripping the steering wheel, his already alabaster flesh whitening at his knuckles.

"I'm sure with a hospital and a house full of vampires at her disposal, she's going to be fine. You know, there isn't always something I can do in these situations. Even when she recovers, we still have the bigger issue of her being linked to Damon."

"Can we not talk about him- I mean about that- right now? We have more important things to deal with." Stefan's voice was hurried- clearly, he was fighting back panic. He pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut in frustration and completely taking his vision off of the road. "How could you even  _say_  that the link is the bigger issue? Elena was in a car crash. Alaric found her flipped upside down at the bottom of a ravine." He spat out the words. Bonnie swore she saw a hint of those blue-black veins popping out around his cheekbones.

"Don't you dare tell me how much I care about Elena. I love her more than anything, and before you fell in love with her she was my friend. I'm just being pragmatic here. With doctors and vampires, a car crash is a solvable problem. They can patch her up, give her rest, and she will be fine. But this supernatural spirit bond? I still don't have an answer to this. This could affect Elena for the rest of her life- years, decades. Not to mention how this could impact Damon. Do you forget that he's your brother? What happens when Elena dies in 80 years? Because from the looks of it, it seems like he might die, too. Is that what you want?"

She took a deep breath, calming her voice. "Plus, if you don't focus and keep your eyes on the road, we're going to get in a car crash too. Then we will lose the only witch Elena has at her disposal."

Stefan chewed on that statement for a few moments.

"As long as Elena lives a long, happy life, I don't care what happens to Damon. Also-" He turned sharply toward Bonnie. "Don't critique my driving. I've been driving since the first Model T came out, remember that."

"I know you care about Damon. You can't keep acting like you don't. Right now, your anger is clouding your priorities and your judgement. If you hated Damon that much, you would have killed him by now."

He knew that Bonnie was right, and if he was honest with himself, he also knew that he would never get Elena back at this point. But it was in his nature to care as much as possible. Something about her drove him mad- he couldn't shake it.

He had to get back to her.

* * *

A cacophony of panic filled the normally sleepy halls of the Mystic Falls hospital as Elena was rushed down the corridor in a gurney, her face pale and expressionless.

"Caroline, I thought you said she had woken up." Dr. Meredith Fell's voice was calm, a professional ruse. " _Update: There are no signs of consciousness_." She whispered into her radio clipped to the top of her white coat.

Caroline rushed along beside her, ignoring normal hospital decorum.

"She was, I swear. Her eyes opened, she looked at me. Her heartbeat got faint but it never stopped."

"Are you absolutely certain?" She lowered her voice. "Just because you're a vampire doesn't mean you don't get hurt- it just means you heal faster. It's entirely possible you also had a concussion and with your enhanced healing it would still take approximately 10 minutes for a concussion to fully heal."

Caroline shot her a confused look, skeptical of how Dr. Fell could know anything about vampire healing- beyond injecting people with some vampire blood here and there.

"I studied some illegal research from Whitmore. Just trust me on this for now, I don't have time to explain."

Meredith had studied Dr. Gilbert's secret files for years. All of the Augustine files documented the exact details of vampire healing- most likely the most comprehensive study of its type in the world. From bashing in skulls to removing body parts, almost every scenario she would need to know had been covered. The second she realized that the vampire threat was real- and worse, that she felt an emotional obligation to deal with this group of troubled teen vampires and supernaturals- she hit the books as hard as she could.

Elena was pushed into a room where she was immediately given oxygen. They clipped a heart rate monitor onto her finger before unpeeling the backing from ECG contact points. While one nurse put the nodes on Elena's head, a second shimmied Elena out of her clothes. Another nurse swooped in, wrapping a black polyester blood pressure cuff around Elena's frail arms, manually pumping it up and carefully eyeing the numbers before shaking her head. By the look on her face, things weren't good. Stethoscopes, IV bags and iodine-smelling wipes seemed to appear out of nowhere, slowly wrapping Elena into a sterile cocoon of medical entire thing was an act of medical acrobatics. To someone who wasn't paying attention, it almost looked like they were vamp-speeding. They placed the sensors all over Elena's body before covering her swiftly with a hospital gown.

Just as suddenly as the whirlwind of action started, it stopped. Caroline was pressed against the back wall of the room while Meredith started jotting down numbers on a clipboard- they were all alone. Feeling helpless, Caroline walked forward, stopping beside the top of the bed. She removed the hair tie from her wrist and gently twirled Elena's long, silky locks into a topknot before securing it with the pink elastic. She swept the wispy flyaways behind Elena's ears. There was a time when their biggest friendship drama was that Caroline once said Elena's ears looked too big in a ponytail at cheer practice. Now, here they were. A vampire looking over her doppelganger friend, praying that the vampire blood did enough to heal her. At the same time, she couldn't believe with all the danger they're usually in, something so mundane as a car wreck brought them to the hospital.

Putting down her clipboard, Meredith tucked her pen into the pocket of her white coat. She pulled a small light out of her other pocket before walking over to Elena and looking into each ear. Mumbling again into her radio, she noted.

" _No sign of leaking fluid in the ear canal._ " She shined the light up Elena's nose, lightly raising the tip and tilting her head back. A lock of wavy hair gently brushed Elena's collarbone as Dr. Fell leaned over, a sensation that would usually make anyone ticklish. The lack of response from Elena was eerie, reminding Caroline how precarious her friend's position was. Dr. Fell tucked the lock of hair behind her ear, the memory again making Caroline want to cry.

" _Nasal passages show traces of blood, however drying patterns show blood flow has stopped._ " She now placed her hand on Elena's eyelid, propping open her honey brown eyes. " _Pupil response normal, no sign of broken capillaries or other trauma."_

"Um… Dr. Fell?" Caroline interjected timidly. She lingered on the opposite side of the bed from Fell, carefully watching her every motion. "Why are you whispering into that radio so much? I can hear that nobody is responding."

"Not a radio, just a voice journal. I know you gave her blood, and I want to document the results."

"How… are the results?" Caroline bit her lip nervously, so hard that she could taste her own blood on her tongue.

"Everything is normal except her blood pressure and heart rate. Her body temperature is a bit low as well, but she doesn't show any signs of serious injury. It's just like her heart is functioning at half capacity. How much blood did she lose?"

"Not much at all. I gave her my blood before she lost too much. All of her wounds healed. She had a piece of glass lodged in her neck, but I quickly removed it and it sealed up right away." She bit her perfectly manicured thumb, chipping the petal-pink paint.

"Well, her symptoms most closely coincide with losing about half of her blood volume. I'll grab everything to start her on a transfusion. We will also have to get her in a cat scan to assess any signs of brain damage. I don't have any research on how vampire blood works against brain trauma so-"

"So you're going to use her for  _research_ " Caroline spat, her emotions a violently oscillating roller-coaster of stress.

"No, Caroline." Dr. Fell chose not to engage. She calmly continued making preparations. "I don't know whether the vampire blood completely worked or not, and if it didn't, I need to give Elena standard, human medical care. Regardless, her brain won't work well with half of its blood supply, so I'll be back soon with everything she needs."

Caroline took a deep breath, trying to relax. She remembered a method of meditation Stefan had shown her when she was a new vampire, trying her best right now to envision it. Tibetan singing bowls, three in a row. Their tiny mallets softly struck the curved brass, the chime echoing through the forest. Just imagining the hum of the singing bowls lowered her emotional intensity and cleared her mind.

The sound of stiff, rustling hospital sheets jolted her from her moment of zen. Elena strained to open her eyes, strangely squinting at the dim hospital lighting. She pulled her torso forward, sitting up as much as she could with all the wires attached to her.

"Caroline... what happened? The last thing I remember, we were almost home."

"You don't remember anything else? The crash?"

Suddenly, Elena's mind flashed back to the moment of impact, the moment Caroline pulled her from the car, the moment she was shoved into the back seat of Alaric's car. Just the memories were almost too much to bear. The stress made it hard for her to breathe, as if her lungs couldn't possibly hold all the air she needed- she was hyperventilating.

"Hey, hey, Elena, calm down." Caroline bent over, stroking Elena's cheek. "You're ok. Dr. Fell said there isn't really much wrong with you. The only thing she was worried about was why you weren't awake yet, but now even that's over." Caroline attempted a smile, but it was clearly forced.

"Can we go then?" Elena bit the inside of her cheek, looking anxious. It was obvious that she was uncomfortable in this situation, her posture hunched, her arms crossed defensively over her chest.

"Elena, I still don't think that's the best idea, Dr. Fell says you might need a blood transfusion- your blood pressure is extremely low."

"This used to happen all the time when I did cheer. I would just get dizzy. If I'm fine from the crash I just want to go home and get back to normal." She squeezed her eyes shut before continuing her defense. "Caroline. I was in a car wreck when my parents died, I was in a car wreck when one of the vampires jumped in front of my car. Now, this is my third car wreck. The last thing I want is to be in a hospital again, especially if I'm fine. Please, can we go home?"

"Ugh. This goes against everything I believe, and I think it's the stupidest thing ever, but fine, as long as you rest at home." Caroline grabbed her purse from the chair next to Elena's bed. Now, I can't compel Dr. Fell, she's on vervain, but the other hospital workers are easy enough to convince. Why don't you get dressed quickly while I talk to the receptionist and have her log your discharge. Dr. Fell will be back any minute so… hurry."

As Caroline made her way over to the desk she pulled out her phone, shooting Bonnie and Alaric quick messages.

_Elena is finally awake._

_Taking her to boarding house to rest_

_It's safer_

* * *

The car was quiet as Alaric drove away from the hospital. For once, there were no vampire companions, no angry teenagers, no bottles of booze rattling around the back seat. After the last time Elena was in a hospital gown, he didn't feel like he was the most responsible bedside companion, with Elena escaping and all. To make matters worse, as her guardian, he had let her end up admitted to the hospital two weeks in a row.

_If this town had any form of legitimate legal system, Child Protective Services would have taken Elena from me by now, even if she was almost 18 years old. And probably Jeremy too, considering I have absolutely no idea where he is or what he's doing._

It took more convincing than expected, but Caroline eventually ceded to letting him go back to check on Damon.

"Caroline, if I don't check on him, who will? Unlike the rest of you, I am his friend, you know." As sad as it was, that was true. When push came to shove, Alaric was the only person reliably there for Damon- even though Damon was frequently there for everyone else. Damon's bad actions always overshadowed the good in him, allowing people to ignore him guilt-free. Even his own brother didn't care what happened to him.

With a dismissive look, Caroline let Alaric go. He threw his worn leather messenger bag over his shoulder as he rushed out of the hospital toward his car. The whole time he was driving to the boarding house, he was terrified of what he would face. When he had left to get Caroline and Elena, Damon had been propped up on the couch, passed out, but an unhealthy vampire was the embodiment of a wild card. Last time Damon was sick, the whole bathroom of his loft was covered in blood. But this time, he had just passed out, like all of the undead-life had drained from him.

_Fuck, Alaric. What if you left him there and he died? Did you even check to make sure he was breathing…. Do vampires even need to breathe… .do their hearts really beat? How could I have checked that he was alive anyway…._

None of his rambling thoughts could suppress the sinking feeling growing in him- the fear that he had left his friend to die. He had spent so many years learning how to kill vampires that he never took the time to learn how they live or how their bodies function. He was so engulfed in thought that he didn't even realize he'd finished driving to the boarding house- he had been on complete autopilot.

He hopped out of the car the second he jerked the gear shift to park, clambering up the front porch to the old tudor house. The rush of air from the opening door carried with it a sick, stale smell.

_The smell of death._

Alaric's brisk pace shifted to a sprint as he made his way down the resolute dark-wood paneled halls. What he saw in the living room was thankfully anticlimactic. There was no blood-soaked carpet, no signs of projectile vomit, Damon's skin wasn't grey as stone. He fell to his knees next to the couch, immediately putting his hands on Damon- his head, his wrists, his chest, looking for signs of life.

"Mmm Ric, I had no idea that's how you felt. You know you could have just told me instead of going full  _roofied sorority girl_  on me." Damon rolled over onto his side, throwing Alaric a signature smirk. His voice was a bit mumbled and weak, but Alaric was just happy he was alive- stubble and all.

"Oh thank God you're ok. I had to leave you here be-"

"I get it, I get it. 'Sick Damon' takes the backseat for any other supernatural drama. I don't need any more explanation than that. " He coughed dryly. "Now,  _Nurse Saltzman_ , since you're back…" He heaved again. "I could really use a drink. I'm parched." He pouted, giving Alaric fake puppy-dog eyes.

"Got it- you look like hell, you could definitely use a bag or two."

"Not that kind of parched."

"I see, you want to pick up from where we left off before you went all  _sleeping beauty_  on me." Alaric walked over to the bourbon, uncorking the decanter.

"Nope- wrong answer again."

Alaric cautiously put the lid back on the crystal bottle, raising an eyebrow at Damon.

"You mean…"

"Water Ric- I need water. You know, what people crave in a desert, what bodies are 75% made of. Get it from the tap, from the Brita, I don't care." He threw his head back, rolling his eyes.

"You mean what  _human_ bodies are made of. Not vampire bodies. Aren't you the least bit worried… Wait why the fuck do you have a Brita filter? The only people who live here are two vampires." Alaric turned on his heel. He was giving up. If he wanted Damon to talk about what he was feeling, he would have to give him what he wanted.

_Even if it makes no goddamn sense that a vampire wants a glass of water._

Damon sucked down the glass of ice water like it was the freshest, most delectable ambrosia he had ever tasted.

"Mhm  _much_  better." He took a sip, sighing dramatically. "Aaah, now, what are your panties all in a knot about this time?"

"You passed out, mid conversation and didn't wake up for about 5 hours. That doesn't concern you at all?"

"Why would it concern me? Honestly, besides being thirsty I feel fantastic. I don't remember the last time I felt so  _alive._ "

"No- wait. Say that again." Alaric froze.

"What that I feel  _alive_?" Damon furrowed his brow in confusion. "Ohh shit….." He stood up.

" _Impossible._ " They said in unison.

"Are you thinking what I'm-" Alaric stepped closer to Damon, eyeing his friend inquisitively.

"Yep, but there's no way in hell..." He trailed off, picked up his water, gulping down the last sip, mimicking the same motions he usually followed through with bourbon.

"It would explain how you've been feeling though."

"Look, I get it. It makes my symptoms make sense, it would be good for everyone if big, bad vampire Damon was out of commission, but in my 150 years on this earth, I've never caught wind of anything like that happening. Vampires can't become human." He leaned over to put the empty glass back on the table, slightly missing the mark. The glass fell onto the wood floor, just missing the oriental rug, pieces shattering in a thousand directions. "Well, that sucks." Damon grumbled, getting onto all fours to pick up the larger pieces."

"Damon… why don't you just get a dustpan-"

"OUCH. Fucking hell." A piece of glass sliced into Damon's thumb, causing him to reflexively suck it in his mouth. Alaric walked over to him, kneeling and grabbing Damon's hand.

"Ric what the hell?!"

"I need to take a look at that." What Alaric saw would have made most people faint. Damon had a gash in his finger almost a centimeter deep. Blood was gushing out of it, faintly pulsing. Without thinking, he dabbed the sleeve of his shirt on the wound to see it more clearly. Just as fast as he wiped away the blood, the slice filled up again with bright red blood. "Well if you are human- you definitely need stitches."

Damon winced as Alaric held together the two sides of the wound and applied pressure.

"Well, good thing I'm  _not._  This will heal in no time."

"Usually, I see cuts like this heal almost instantly on you and Caroline. A little slower on Stefan because of the animal blood."

"Yes, one of the many downsides of a bunny diet."

"But Damon, look." Alaric took his hand off the wound. "You haven't healed at all."

Taking a look at his hand, the sight almost made Damon squeamish. The two sides of his thumb were filleted open, exposing the different layers of flesh.

"Well, would you look at that- oh wait! You did!" He thrust his hand in Alaric's general direction, causing a drop of blood to fall to the floor.

"I'm going to get you a band-aid. I should have one in my car." Alaric turned to walk toward the door, but before he made it there the door nearly opened in his face. It was Bonnie and Stefan.

"Alaric where is she." Stefan pushed past Alaric, nearly shoving him against the wall.

"Nice to see you too Stefan. Elena's not here, she's at the hospital."

"Caroline just texted us that she left the hospital, we figured they'd be here by now. She didn't happen to message you?" Bonnie looked confused.

Alaric dug through his pockets, whipping out his phone. He pressed the button to unlock the screen, seeing Caroline's message from about five minutes before.

"Uh, guess I didn't have my ringer on…"

He tapped out a string of messages quickly.

_Damon's awake too._

_Not doing so hot._

_Bring band-aids._

Stefan's screaming bellowed from the living room, his words nearly unintelligible beneath the growl in his voice.

"What the  _hell_  is Damon doing out of the cellar!" His voice was filled with rage.

Alaric looked at Bonnie, his eyes in a panic.

"Damon's in there, and he's bleeding. He's bleeding next to an angry ripper vampire." He sprinted to the living room.

"Stefan no- get away from him!" Alaric stepped between the two brothers, raising his hands in surrender.

"Wait, Alaric, are you bleeding? I can smell blood- and it's flowing pretty quickly." His brow furrowed. Traces of his vampire veins peeking out from under his eyes.

"No Stefan- that's Damon."

"Guilty as charged!" Damon chimed in, smiling. He waved his still actively bleeding hand in the air.

"Really Damon? Now is not the time for joking."

"Why is he bleeding? What are you not telling me Ric?" He stepped closer to Alaric, making them almost chest to chest.

"Oh! I cut my hand on a piece of broken glass. Dropped my water!" Stefan and Alaric both ignored Damon.

"There was nothing  _to_  tell Stefan. Damon had passed out, Elena and Caroline got in the accident. I just got back from the hospital, and Damon just woke up. He cut his hand and hasn't stopped bleeding since."

"Ric says I need stitches!" A snarky smile stretched across his face.

"What do you mean he's not healing? That blood- it smells human." He backed up from Alaric, shaking his head.

"I think he  _is_  human Stefan. I don't know how, I don't know why but-"

"He is human. I can see it." Bonnie was standing in the entrance way to the room.

"You can see it?"

"Of course. All witches can read auras, and Damon's is human. It's still definitely his, but the light of it, it shines like a human's. Stefan, there's no way you can't tell he's human too."

"I mean, his heart sounds human, he smells human."

"Bon bon, Steffie, I trust both of you, but if we are really going to buy a ticket to board this train of thought, I'm going to need more than a look and a sniff." He deadpanned. "We need to do some real tests. See what powers I don't have anymore."

Alaric sat down, satisfied enough now that Stefan wasn't going to attack his own brother.

"I agree with Damon. We need to be 100% sure what we're dealing with."

Before they could discuss the issue any further, the front door opened again, this time with Caroline and Elena.

"Hey guys! We're home!" Caroline called through the halls.

Stefan and Bonnie both stood up, immediately walking toward the door.

"We are so glad you're ok!" Bonnie squealed as she wrapped Elena in a bear hug.

"Yes Bonnie, I'm fine, but you're suffocating me." Bonnie let up on the pressure. "Really, I just want to lay down, I have a headache. It's getting late and I spent the whole day in the hospital. God, it's so dark in here compared to the hospital, I'm feeling better already."

Elena walked away toward the living room, ignoring everyone. She flopped down on the couch opposite of Damon, barely even noticing he was there. He realized that nobody had probably mentioned to Elena his issues, and he didn't want to worry her while she was in this state anyway. He sat up straighter on the couch, crossing his hands so that the injured thumb was tucked safely under his arm where she couldn't see.

"This is so much more comfortable than a hospital bed."

"I'm surprised they let you out, it hasn't even been a full day." Damon looked her over. She did look completely fine.

"Yeah… I'm surprised too. I'm going to go talk to Caroline quickly. I'll be right back." Alaric got up, walking out of the room with purpose.

Elena rolled over, propping her head up on her hand, angling her body toward Damon. She squinted her eyes looking around the room.

"What is that smell in here?" She got up quickly, her eyes growing wide and alert. "Wait, it's you."

"Gee, you really know how to make a guy feel sexy, telling me I smell. I mean I know I've been sick but really, rude."

"No, it's not bad…" She sat down on the couch next to him, pulling both of her legs up and sitting on them. Her hands traced over his shoulders, pulling his arms uncrossed. She surveyed his skin as he angled himself toward her. Goosebumps flurried to attention at her faint touch, but he still kept his hand in a fist to hide his injury. She traced down his arm to his hand, peeling open his fingers. Damon took in a sharp breath- she would find out now that he wasn't healing.

"Damon, you're hurt." She mumbled quietly, almost robotically. She didn't look up to make eye contact, instead raising his hand up to her mouth. She eyed the gash, the crimson blood pooling out of it, completely mesmerized.

"Elena, I don't think this is really a  _kiss and make it better_  type of situation…" Damon trailed off anxiously.

She didn't respond, instead sucking his thumb into her mouth. A primal moan escaped her lips as she swirled her tongue around his finger, savoring the novel taste of Damon's human blood. She drank him in, the pull causing his skin to go slightly numb.

"What are you doing?" His voice was hurried, worried.

She still didn't say a word, instead raising her head and looking him in the eyes. She wiped the blood off her mouth with the back of her hand, smiling softly. Looking down at her hand, she saw the beautiful red smear, firing back to life her hunger. The desire to feed was too strong to be satiated by just a sample- she needed a full meal. Planting both hands firmly on his shoulders, she pulled him closer.

"Don't scream." Her pupils dilated. "This won't hurt."

Damon's eyes glazed over as she tilted his head to the side, sinking her teeth into his neck. He grew dizzy as she nuzzled into him, digging her nails into his shoulders as she gripped him tighter. The rush was amazing, unlike anything she had ever felt before. Her whole body hummed with arousal, her eyes rolling back in her head. Now straddling him, her hips bucked with each sip of blood. She didn't even realize what she was doing- unaware that he was human, that she could kill him right now, or that she was a vampire. She lost herself in the feed.

"Elena! Stop!" Stefan vamp sped into the room, slamming Elena against the wall. "You're going to kill him."

She was breathing hard, nearly growling as she struggled to get away from Stefan's grasp.

"Caroline, what did you do?!" Stefan screamed, tears rising to his eyes.

"Stefan, calm down. There is no way Caroline would have done this on purpose." Alaric tried his best to get Stefan to listen, his voice steady and strong.

Stefan squinted his eyes closed, trying not to snap. Lessening his grip on Elena's shoulders, he took a step back. He turned around quickly to face the rest of the group, finally letting them see the tears streaming down his face.

"She's gone. She's dead. Can't you see that?" His veins were completely exposed around his eyes, his skin turning to stone. The smell of Damon's blood permeated the room- he was nearly bleeding out.

"Stefan, you need to get out of here. There's too much blood. We need to get Elena out of here too." Alaric tried to reason with him, but before any of them could react, Elena left the room in a single  _woosh._

Stefan crumbled to the floor in defeat, clutching his head, sobs ripping through his body. He never wanted Elena to be a vampire, and to him this fate was almost worse than death.

"She's gone. We lost her again." Caroline whispered.

"We have until sunlight to find her. She doesn't have a ring. I'll gather everything to make her one."

The room fell quiet as they all stared blankly at a bloody, lifeless Damon.

"Is he… ?" Caroline trailed.

"Dead?" Damon groaned. The whole room sighed in relief. "Nope, still alive over here, but I think I'll need more than one band-aid now."


	27. I Never Gave a Damn About the Weather, And it Never Gave a Damn About Me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the vampire diaries, any of its characters or any of the meandering plots. There are a few direct quotes from the show peppered in here, I don't own those either.
> 
> Title Credit: "Do you know what I'm seeing?"- Panic! At the Disco
> 
> Notes: Well, here you go. This is my best writing yet.
> 
> Oh no Elena you're a vampire
> 
> Bad Elena
> 
> The end
> 
> JUST KIDDING!
> 
> Real notes: So this has taken me forever for a bunch of personal reasons that aren't great. But, now I'm back, armed with a brand new chromebook that won't break every time I touch the touchpad, and I hope to make you guys happy! There are way too many parallels to other scenes in books, movies, and even previous chapters of this story, so I hope you notice some of them! It's a bit silly and dramatic, but I didn't want it to be too dark and existential.

Dew was settling on the asphalt, droplets of water filling the tiny crevices and cracks of the forest-canopied back road. Breeze ruffled through the leaves of mature, southern Piedmont valley trees, the air crisp as it rolled off of the Blue Ridge mountains less than a half hour away. Autumn was fighting off the last few strongholds of summer, the auburn cast of the leaves threatening to engage the kill switch for them to drop at any moment. Willow creek rolled over pebbles, the slightly mineral smell of water mixing with the organic scent of the damp forest floor. Soon, it would freeze with winter, becoming a skeleton of the herbaceous scene it was now, but in this moment it was only frozen in its own serenity.

A car hadn't driven by in at least an hour- it was 3 am after all. The quiet would be overbearing to a human, unsettling and heavy, but to a vampire, it was the only time of day where all of the outside noise died down. Soaking in the nature, heightened vision made it possible to discern each star in the night sky. Being undead, it was easy to feel unnatural, but really the connection to the earth was just different. Laying down in the road, a vampire's body and the ground equalized in temperature to the point where a human couldn't tell the difference save for the sharp contrast between rough pavement and supple, flawless skin.

She stretched her arms, linking them above her head and lengthening her spine- more of a habit than an urge. Her hand brushed the cool metal of her Lapis Lazuli daylight ring, spinning it around her slender finger mindlessly.

Reflected in her eyes, the waning crescent of the moon reminded her of how she felt- like a chunk of her soul had been punched out and discarded as the vampirism had taken over, filing her in with darkness just like the moon was shrouded in its own dark. The only exception was that she wouldn't fill back in, her glow wouldn't return by the end of the month. She was this way forever.

An approaching engine interrupted her internal monologue. The oncoming headlights cast a shadow of her lithe silhouette, first stretching out long and shrinking to size as the car got closer. She turned her head, rolling her eyes at the unwelcome light. This moment, however, was an opportunity for experimental self-exploration, her mind suddenly spinning down a new path. A certain amount of thrill came with this type of scenario. As a human, the danger would have been terrifying- adrenaline inducing. Her fragile mortal life would have hung in a delicate balance. As a vampire however, it was just fun- thrilling even. Her impulse was suddenly consuming her. The driver would be terrified once they realized they were about to hit someone, their fight-or-flight hormones making their blood that much sweeter.

At least, she thought it was sweeter, that's what Stefan always told her. He was always saying that it was too easy to get caught up in the hunt, insisting that vampires are predators set to kill. The warnings were constant- remorse, rumination, guilt, and shame would plague her for decades because her compassion was the link to her humanity. Just hearing about all of Stefan's vampire issues was enough to make her exhausted, but hearing him project all of his shortcomings onto her, when she had only been a vampire for a week, was exhausting.

She just wanted to figure it out for her own, chalk it up to teenage curiosity, or perhaps suddenly being faced with the concept of eternity. That's what led her here, contemplating her undead life and dying to escape.

The car was only about ten feet away when she  _wooshed_  up, standing in the road and making direct eye contact with the driver. She took in every stage of the emotion shown on his face, from surprise, to fear, to sheer terror. A strange feeling overtook her as she began to play the game. If she tried to put a name to it, the closest thing would be arousal.

Wheels screeched, the chemical-laden smell of burning rubber tainting the sweet night air. The car was able to stop just a foot away from her, much to the relief of the man behind the steering wheel. Planting both hands on the hood of the car, she leaned forward, smirking at the man and signaling for him to get out of the car. Trembling, he fiddled with his seat-belt before opening the door. Even through the glass and metal of the car, over the sound of the pattering engine, his heartbeat was louder than a steam train in Elena's ears. She felt the veins begin to harden around her eyes. Just hearing the blood triggered her instincts, but she took a breath in and held them in. This was a game, and if she wanted to play, she couldn't scare him more by vamping out. She needed a willing ear, and he was unfortunately it.

He stepped out of the car, legs nearly buckling with residual shock. Lanky, but clearly at least in his mid-twenties, he had a patchy beard and thick glasses. Slightly baggy worn-out blue jeans hung from his hips, paired with a faded band t-shirt. The smell of sweat, most likely from the stress, radiated from his skin.

"Hey- miss." His voice was shaking as he stepped forward to her. She leaned her hip against the side of the car. "I- I'm so sorry I didn't see you and- I mean- uh, it's not like I expected anyone to be out here or anything…" He wiped the sweat from his palms onto his jeans. "Are you okay- do you, uh like… need any help?" Elena stepped forward, slinking slowly forward. He swallowed nervously. "No judgement but… why are you out here so late- like alone. Did your car break down or…" He swore he had seen her laying in the road, but he couldn't make sense of that. His eyes darted side to side searching for a car- an explanation that would make much more sense than the reality.

"I'm…. lost"

She was now only a few inches from him, his breath hitching as he began to feel even more uneasy. Something about her made his hairs stand up, goosebumps pebbling his skin. "Do you need to use my phone?" He shoved his hand into his pocket, digging around before whipping out a silver, dated flip phone. The screen teetered in his trembling hand. "Or maybe like… a map?"

"Not that kind of lost… metaphorically… existentially… " Elena shook her head, pursing her lips like she was making a decision. She placed both hands on his shoulders, locking eyes. The tone of her voice was calm and even. "What I do need you to do is stand here, don't move, and listen. No matter what I tell you- don't be afraid. Do you understand?"

Like an automaton, he responded, the compulsion taking hold.

"Yes. I understand."

"Good then. Where should I start…"

* * *

_Dear diary,_

_I was wrong. I thought that I could smile and nod my way through it, pretend like it would all be okay. I had a plan- I wanted to change who I was, now that I've changed completely. I wanted to create a life with someone new, even if that was just myself. Without the past, without the pain. Someone alive- someone human. But it's not that easy. The bad things stay with you. All of the bad things you've done- they follow you. You can't escape them, as much as you want to._

_It's been a week since I woke up, taking my first human breath in over a century and a half. It's everything that I remember, but at the same time completely foreign. I missed being human more than anything in the world. Being a vampire was incompatible with my human self- whether I was just immature and naive as a human or whether I couldn't handle my human compassion once it was heightened._

_I can't believe that I'm writing a diary- again, something I barely even did as a human. I wish I could look back on those diaries, to try to remember how I felt back then, but they all burned in the fire that destroyed our childhood home. I was just a kid then, barely out of my teenage hormones, and here I am, 24 again- human 24._

_I worry that this is how it will pan out for Elena. I never told her this, but she and I were more alike as humans than she could ever know. I want to tell her it will get easier- but she knows that. I know she doesn't want to be around me right now, but I need it. I know she needs time. She probably thinks this is all my fault._

_She never wanted this, even if she said she did. When we were in New York, she never meant it. All she was looking for was an escape from her reality of being the doppelganger, of needing to run from Klaus, hell, even from being a teenage girl in a small town. At the end of the day, she never wanted to give up her humanity._

_Maybe she doesn't think it's my fault, but I think it is. And I can barely live with that, let alone live with that while I try to readjust to humanity._

_For now, there's nothing I can do except keep taking it one day at a time._

Damon closed the heavy, leather journal and placed it on the table next to his armchair. He reclined back, letting the over-sized furniture consume him. He reached over, groaning at how much more effort it was to even just grab his glass of bourbon now that he was alive. Somehow, his room seemed so much bigger now that he was human. The adjustment was expected- he never lived in the boarding house as a human. The unpleasantries of the Tudor-style mansion started to nag him- drafty windows in particular.

As a vampire, he was never bothered by the weather, but now it was like he was in a constant flux of uncomfortable body temperatures. Heightened vampire senses were bothered by things like creaking floors, thin walls, or scratchy sheets- sensory annoyances. Human senses were bothered by a lack of comfort- temperature, the firmness of a mattress, tightness of clothes. Luckily, since money was never really an object, he already had the finest of almost everything, and the means to buy whatever he didn't.

For the past few days, he had decided that the best way to come to terms with his humanity was to avoid it at all costs. Locked in his room for hours on end, he watched Netflix snuggled up in cashmere sweatpants. Surrounded by down pillows, he spent most of the days drowning his feelings in television or fending off human exhaustion with frequent naps. He couldn't make it through more than three glasses of whiskey without feeling nauseous- in his mind the worst betrayal of being human.

_I can't believe I have to work up a tolerance again. This is pure torture._

He slumped further into his chair, enjoying the last sips of much needed post-diary whiskey. It was remarkable that he had gotten out of bed at all today, even if his only motivator was to have a drink and scribble down his cloudy mortal thoughts in his diary.

_At least my heightened emotions were easy to identify. These stupid human ones are dull, murky and complicated. As a vampire, my only driving urge was hunger- any mix of emotions translated to that. Now as a human my thousands of other urges get in the way. I can't make sense of anything._

Just his one morning drink threatened to put him back to sleep. Resolving to live something closer to a normal life today, he heaved his body out of the chair, joints creaking and bones cracking. He knew that it was normal to feel stiff in the morning, but dramatically he felt like a 74 year old not a 24 year old. Every tiny amount of pain was amplified- a paper cut, stubbing his toe, accidentally biting his cheek- and even halfway through the day he was so tired he could barely keep his eyes open. He couldn't remember how he dealt with it before he turned. The only solution to all of his problems right now would be coffee and a handful of Tylenol.

He made it downstairs in a blur, his stomach rumbling along the way. When he got to the kitchen, he groaned at how much work it would be to make a cup of coffee. He never saw the appeal of those machines with the little plastic pods until this very moment. Coffee beans clamored into the grinder, the brief roar of the machine threatening to give him a headache. From now on, he was only going to buy pre-ground coffee- adding extra effort to his morning routine could never be worth it. Four scoops didn't seem like it would be enough, so he heaped another spoonful into the filter. He filled the pot with water and poured it into the top, flipping the orange button and impatiently waiting for the dark liquid to drip out.

"Good morning, brother." Stefan stood, legs crossed leaning against the door frame. "So what are you up to today? Are you going to watch Twilight or have you made it to the Hunger Games yet?"

"Didn't anyone tell you, Stefan? The books are always better than the movies. Everyone knows that." Damon rolled his eyes, staring intently as the coffee filled the carafe, the steam fogging up the glass.

"Oh, my apologies. I just figured, you know, that at this point you'd be out of things to watch. After all, you've barely left your room since you….well..." Stefan trailed off, scratching the back of his head as he searched for the right words.

"What? Spit it out. Since I became human? Well, you might forget, but being human is exhausting, and my bed is  _very_ comfortable. Perfect for naps, binge watching… I mean, I know it's seen much more  _action_  in its lifetime," He wiggled his eyebrows. "...but I feel like now it's learning to experience its full potential."

"Look, a lot of new vampires go through this same kind of thing, cloistering themselves away, avoiding what they've become, but the only thing that will make you feel better is to go out and get back to your normal life." Stefan made his way into the kitchen, cabinets opening and closing as he grabbed coffee cups.

"You don't understand- my normal life  _was_  being a vampire. That's who I was, what I did. Vampires can go back to their normal human routines, but what do I go back to? Should I go snack on a cheerleader, or do you think we should steer clear of cannibalism?"

"Well, maybe just a little sunlight, some fresh air. Human bodies need that. Then, I don't know, maybe we could grab some food at The Grill, get a few drinks while we are at it." He smiled at his brother, patting him on the back.

"Oh right." Damon turned around, finally looking Stefan in the eye. "The only other part of my routine besides being a vampire was drinking Bourbon, in large quantities, with my best friend. Or by myself. But either way, can't exactly do that anymore either."

"Damon, you are being dramatic. You can drink, just not an entire bottle at a time. You'll save some money."

"Money for what, for more food? You forget- feeding on people is  _free_. Thank God we are already loaded because human food costs money, something we never had to worry about when we were human before, you know, being kids and all." Damon's stomach growled again, giving him away. "Speaking of which, I should probably eat something. Whiskey on an empty stomach is not a good idea… "

He pushed past Stefan, grabbing a loaf of bread and twisting it open. At first, he only threw one piece of bread into the toaster. His stomach protested, gurgling like a starving pit to hell. He threw in a second piece. Stefan grabbed the carafe, pouring coffee into the mugs. Damon hadn't realized the coffee was done, which made Stefan smile a bit. A vampire could easily hear the exact moment the coffee pot shut off, the moment the dripping stopped, but his brother, once one of the most fearsome vampires he knew, couldn't even hear it from a few feet away. It was almost cute to see him this way.

"There's something I wanted to give you by the way. Really, we should've given this to you sooner, but you weren't leaving the house anyway so it gave us time to be creative." Stefan dug around inside his pockets, pulling out a small black box.

"I don't know if things changed in the past few days, but the last time I checked, it wasn't ok to propose to your brother, human or otherwise."

Ignoring Damon, he opened the box, revealing what used to be Damon's daylight ring.

"Oh, so you are asking me to go steady. Why the hell would you be giving me back my daylight ring? Did you take it from my room or something? It's completely useless now anyway."

"No, Damon, it wasn't in your room. The second night you were human, you got insanely drunk and threw it into the pond out back screaming something about how… hold on let me remember. Oh! Yes. You said 'I'm an invincible sun walker. I don't need this stupid blue and silver ball and chain anymore! I'm not married to the night!'. Then you well… you can ask Alaric the rest of it." Stefan took a slow sip of his coffee, holding back a chuckle.

"Alright, alright, get it out. Make fun of me. You only have about 70 years left to tease me. So I'll bite. Why are you giving back the daylight ring. Turning me into a vampire again?"

"Not quite. You see, Lapis Lazuli has metaphysical properties to dispel magical and psychic energies, making them ineffective and harmless. That's why it can be spelled to protect us- well, vampires- from the sun. The sun burns vampires because, magically, their bodies reject its energy. The Lapis filters and breaks up the sun's energy, so it can't hurt us anymore. Bonnie had a good idea, though. She wanted to see if she could make you an anti-compulsion ring. That way, you don't have to carry or take vervain. She was able to replace the magic from the ring with a spell to block you from compulsion. The only small difference- She had to add a small circle of tiger's eye to the back. This way, it can dispel the psychic attack from compulsion, while psychically intercepting the energy between you and a vampire's eyes."

"Wow, Steffy. They teach you all of that at Hogwarts? I'm impressed. Such a broad knowledge of spells and crystals- you're a natural Hermione Granger. Or maybe not, you do seem more of a Ravenclaw than a Gryffindor."

"That answers my question then, you weren't watching Twilight, you were watching Harry Potter." Stefan smirked, getting the ring out of the box and handing it to Damon. "Look, I know it doesn't mean much to you right now, but I know that you will want to wear your ring again. And this way, it still has a lot of meaning. We can't have you getting compelled, now can we? Especially not with new vampires around..."

The bread popped up out of the toaster, giving Damon an excuse not to respond to Stefan. Instead, he snatched the ring out of his hand, sliding it onto his finger before grabbing butter from the fridge for his toast.

"Thanks for all the concern, Stef.." Damon grabbed his coffee, still holding his toast in the other. "I think that was enough human social interaction for the day, don't you think?" As Damon walked toward the stairs, Stefan followed at a distance.

"I'm not even a human, remember? I'm making us go out to dinner tonight."

"Fine then, it's a date. Bring your letterman jacket so you can put it around my shoulders when I get cold."

* * *

It would never cease to amaze Elena, how she could compel someone to stay still and they would stand there, frozen. Her hostage therapist, the young guy she had intercepted, was like a soldier in front of her, just awaiting new orders. She had to remind herself that he was still a person, so she made an attempt to make the conversation more personal.

"So, what's your name?" Elena cocked her head to the side.

"Uhh-" He hesitated. Elena realized then that she had compelled him to not be afraid, but that didn't exactly cover social anxiety, which he clearly suffered from. She stepped forward as her mind tried to figure out the right words to refine this compulsion.

"You don't need to be nervous around me. We are friends, you're confident around me." Suddenly, his face relaxed.

"Finn. My name is Finn."

"Hi Finn, I'm Elena. You know, it's really great that we crossed paths. You see, I've been kinda going through a lot lately, but none of my friends are quite objective enough to understand. They remember me too much as I was- you know, before I was a vampire, before my parents died even, but that's not me anymore. Well, to be fair, this whole creepy, lurking in the road thing isn't really me either, but I've just felt really melodramatic, you know? Have you ever just felt melodramatic, Finn?"

"Yeah, I guess…"

"You're killing me here, Finn. I really need this to be a conversation," She locked eyes with him again. "When I ask you questions, go into a little detail." She started to back away, pursing her lips when she realized she made a critical mistake. "But not too much detail. Short, one sentence responses please, no rambling. So, where was I… Oh, yes. Have you ever felt melodramatic?"

"Yes. I was a bit of an emo teen."

"Well see, I wasn't. I was a perky, tan, happy cheerleader. I even had the high ponytail and the cute uniform, friendship bracelets, the real small-town deal. Then my parents died, and I was serious, strong, mature, but not sad. Not even mopey to be honest- I just became flat. I didn't understand how polarized all my vampire friends' personalities were. It blew my mind how they felt so many uncontrolled emotions. Damon, well he was a vicious, murderous douchebag- most of the time. But when he wasn't he was so sweet. Stefan, he was moody, brooding- the definition of a drama queen to be honest, but when he was angry he was a monster. Caroline- well she was insane before she became a vampire-"

"You… sure know a lot of vampires."

"If you lived in Mystic Falls, you'd understand. They're a dime a dozen, and now I'm one of them. I never wanted to be one of them. Or did I? You know, everyone kept saying 'Elena doesn't want to be a vampire, she would never want to be a vampire, her compassion would kill her.' And sometimes I felt that way too, but it's like I said it once and people never asked me if I changed my mind. The only person who kind of took me seriously was Damon, but to be honest, I was so drunk most of the time that he probably didn't believe me completely. He was pretty drunk too, he might not even remember. I'm sure you understand binge drinking, you look like you're in college."

"Actually, I go to a Christian university about 30 minutes away. I don't drink."

"Christian….so you believe in heaven and hell then? Good and evil. Tell me, and be truthful. I want to see your true emotions about this. I don't want you to hold back" He froze for a second, the new round of compulsion sinking in. She leaned forward, letting her vampire features reveal themselves. "Do you think I'm a demon?" His eyes went wide, a silent scream building inside his chest. She took another step forward, so close she could feel his breath on her face. "Am I evil?" Her face wasn't hostile, she was just looking for his true reaction- from someone who had never seen a vampire before. She was craving anything that remotely resembled validation. Her expression was soft, as she raised her hand to caress his face. He flinched away.

"You are, you're scared of me." Her voice was reserved, even, holding back the flood of emotions clawing to escape. "But you don't get it- I'm not a bad person. I haven't even killed anyone. I got close with Damon- I mean, I wanted to kill him." She was beginning to crack. "The hunger, it was just so strong… and every emotion I had about him, it all just mixed into even more intense hunger. But I stopped before I killed him. I resisted! " She pleaded, stepping back against the car again, craning her neck back to stare up at the moon. A few tears glinted on her cheek in the moonlight. "But doesn't that make me a better person? That I wanted to kill him, but I was able to hold myself back? What do you think?"

She turned back around to read his face, but he had started to sprint off toward the woods. His heart rate was so fast that it was most likely life-threatening. Her emotions swirling around her like a hurricane, she couldn't handle losing her grasp on the only thing currently in her control- this innocent human, Finn. Elena sped in front of him, seemingly appearing right in front of his face. He crashed into her, faltering back and nearly falling to the ground. She grabbed him by the shirt to pull him back up, his breath hitching as he flinched his face away from her. The scent of his fear made it impossible to retract her vampire features. Nobody ever explained to her that you could smell human blood through their skin. It seemed obvious now- skin is only a few millimeters deep, but it was moments like this where it really made sense. His hammering pulse brought the blood even closer to the skin, the temptation almost too much for her to bear. Elena, her morality still her compass, was proud that she was able to resist biting into him. Despite the hardened black veins and fangs, she relaxed her face.

More similar to the actions of a lover than a predator, she cupped his face in her hand, righting him so he was standing comfortably on the ground, staring into her hazelnut eyes. She smoothed his hair with her free hand, lifting his chin toward her.

"Finn, you don't need to be afraid of me, I won't hurt you. You're young, innocent. I just need a friend right now. I need a friend because I feel like I don't have anyone right now. And you, well, " She adjusted his glasses, straightening them out. "You are exactly what I need. If I wasn't entangled with all of these vampires, you might be the type of guy I'd eventually date in college. You seem smart, you're handsome...in a dorky way. What do you study at school?"

"I'm… a pre- med" He was still a bit out of breath, his chest rising and falling aggressively.

"See, I want to be a doctor too. Well… I did at least. Now, who knows. I don't think being around that much blood is the smartest choice as a vampire, you know? And skimming blood from the blood banks probably violates some part of the Hippocratic Oath…" Just talking about blood was making her thirsty again. She hadn't fed in hours, which for a new vampire felt like an eternity. Her willpower was being pushed to the limits, but she was still convinced she could push through it. She knew she needed to calm down, taking in a deep breath and closing her eyes.

_Deep breath in… Deep breath out-_

Taking a deep breath around a human was a mistake.

Her undead lungs were filled with the aroma of the thing she craved the most- living, human blood. She couldn't hold herself back any longer, and the guilt of that realization made it all the worse.

"Finn… I'm so sorry. I couldn't do it, it was just too much… being out here alone, and I'm just feeling so… emotional. And hungry- I'm really hungry. This is going to hurt-" A tear fell from her chin onto her chest. Her nails dug into his shoulders as she pulled him to her chest. "But you can't scream. I promise, I don't want to hurt you.." With a primal hiss, she pushed his neck to the side, lunging forward to close the difference between her fangs and his flesh. Warm blood pooled into her mouth as she sucked eagerly, the absolute bliss consuming her. The second she started feeding, she began sobbing, her tears mixing with the blood staining the man's t-shirt. She nuzzled in aggressively- her instinct was to feed the fear away, because all of her emotions were resolving to hunger.

It almost eluded her- that moment when he began to go limp. That second where his pulse grew very quiet, his skin just a bit colder. Elena noticed the sharp change in comparison from when she started, ripping herself away immediately. She lost track of how long she had been feeding, but luckily, it seemed that she stopped just soon enough. Words couldn't describe her guilt- even though she didn't kill him, she still felt awful. Cautiously, she walked him to the side of the car, propping him up against the cool metal. His eyes were drifting closed. Afraid she was losing him, she slapped him lightly on the face, his eyes fluttering open.

"Finn.. you need to listen to me. Forget what just happened. You were driving on the road and you thought you hit a deer. You looked all around your car, underneath, and in the woods. It took a few tries to get your car started, so you were out here longer than expected. You're dizzy because you're sleep deprived, and once you get to wherever you were going, you'll take a nap."

She wiped the tears from her eyes as she rose her wrist to her mouth. She bit down and lowered her arm, dipping her index finger in the gash and coating it in her blood. Gingerly, she traced the outline of her mark on Finn's neck, massaging the vampire blood into his fresh wound. It took about a minute before the skin knit itself together, and after wiping off the blood with her shirt, you could barely tell he was bit in the first place.

As she watched him get into his car and drive off, another pair of headlights snaked through the woods- a pair of round, hazy headlights she swore belonged to a baby blue, vintage Chevy Camaro.


	28. The Only Thing I Want To Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, the characters, or the stories. If I did, it wouldn't have been able to air on network television, if you know what I mean ;)
> 
> Notes: Smut, smut, smut-ti-ty smut. LOTS OF SMUT! So in this chapter, you're going to see the first Delena smutty scene where Elena is a vampire and Damon is a human. It's weird. A dynamic never explored in the show, it's going to be a bit hard to write. Damon's body will act… a little more human, and I know that tarnishes a bit of his 'sex god' reputation, but I don't think you'll be disappointed. Remember, just because Elena is a vampire doesn't mean she suddenly becomes more experienced- she's still only a high schooler after all! Review, follow and favorite! It helps me keep going!
> 
> Title song credit: "Love me like you do" Ellie Goulding

Dinner with Stefan had been nearly unbearable. He insisted on taking him to a movie, but Damon could barely stand sitting through it. As if the subject wasn't bad enough- some terrible comedy full of cheap jokes and easy shots- Damon found it impossible to sit still. It felt like every minute he had some kind of human bodily function screaming at him to pay attention to it. The pins and needles feeling in his legs, an itch in his back, the urge to go to the bathroom that could only be caused by drinking a large soda- he hated every second of it. Popcorn was another devil in and of itself. Kernels stuck between his teeth and the salty, buttery flavor conjured up a thirst that could rival a starving vampire. He knew he should enjoy it- this whole week was full of human experiences that he knew he should revel in- but instead he was just constantly annoyed. For years, his deepest, most secret desire was to become human. He wanted it more than anything. Now that he had it, he wished he could take it back- each sensation compounding his irritation.

Stefan wasn't making matters any easier. Always vocal about how badly he missed humanity, he was adamant that vampirism was the worst thing that could have ever happened to him. He wanted Damon to get to a place where he is happy to be alive, to live his human life to the fullest- without dealing with too much vampire drama. Damon was still too brave from years of being invincible, and Stefan didn't trust him to be cautious around any vampire, especially not ones that he is in love with. That's why he did whatever he could to keep him away from Elena. He didn't want to risk his brother's new humanity by having him be around a vampire fledgling.

Stefan remembers the hunger he felt as a teenager-turned-vampire. All of the teen angst is amplified, and the confusion of growing up becomes too much to handle. Every hormone fluctuation, petty argument, or minor frustration transforms into insatiable blood thirst. The hunger is impossible to ignore even for a second. Being seventeen brings with it enough complex and unbridled emotion, but vampirism makes matters worse. A seventeen year old, teenage,  _girl_ , vampire- that is quite possibly the most deadly combination. There was no way to predict how Elena would act. Until they were more confident in her behavior, she wasn't going to be in the picture. As soon as they realized Damon was human, Stefan had brought in a lawyer to sign over the house deed to Damon. He mixed vervain in the coffee, not before compelling him not to invite Elena in until told otherwise.

For a moment, he had contemplated telling Damon about the compulsion, but he thought it would be better if he didn't know. He worried that Damon might misconstrue this protectiveness with jealousy. His brother had become very close to Elena, igniting fire in the cursed Salvatore love triangle. It was still unclear to him how that happened. One day, Elena was his sweet, kind, innocent girlfriend, and in what seemed like the blink of an eye, she was living with Damon in New York doing unspeakable things. It was like her entire life in Mystic Falls stopped mattering to her, and Damon was the only one who would let her throw it all away. He had so many regrets, constantly going through what he did wrong to push her to Damon. Stefan was, of course, still hurt- but none of that mattered right now. Elena's humanity is what made him fall in love with her- he didn't know if he could even still love her as a vampire. Unfortunately, he didn't have the emotional bandwidth right now to explore that line of feelings. All he had was this dark theater.

Stefan realized he didn't even know what happened in the movie as they were walking out of the theater. Boxes of popcorn, mostly abandoned kernels were discarded. Drinks, only unwanted melted ice left in the bottom sloshed as they were tossed into the bins. Damon followed a few paces behind, his human coordination taking longer to amble down the stairs.

When they entered the theater, it had still been daytime, the sunlight warm on Damon's skin. Now, the early fall nighttime breeze made him shiver. He had forgotten a coat. It was human habits like this that he still didn't have the hang of. He had had entirely enough of brother bonding time, and was eager to shake him as soon as possible. It had been almost a week since he had seen Elena, and at this point his human mind could barely think of anything else. The last image of her in his mind- his muddled, murky, human mind- was of her looking at him in horror after drinking his blood.

Her delicate pout had looked fearsome with his blood smeared around the edges. Even though he wasn't a vampire anymore, he still thought it looked sexy as hell. If he had any common sense, he would have been terrified, but he couldn't bring himself to be. He had to know her-  _this_  her; reconcile his feelings now that the tables are turned. Stefan cleary didn't want that to happen. It was obvious that his messages and calls weren't going through, and he was starting to get suspicious about why she hadn't stopped by the house.

A small voice told him that she didn't want to talk to him. Now that she was immortal, she had an exciting eternity ahead of her with unlimited possibilities. It had always been ambiguous how Elena felt for him. Obviously, she felt something- they spent the summer partying and having sex. The more emotionally intimate parts of the relationship were what scared him the most. There were moments that could build a case that she loved him as much as he loved her. The night she was stuck at Whitmore, she didn't want Stefan to help her- she wanted Damon, the one who wouldn't judge her and would keep her safe. Clouding most of these moments though, were all the times where he steamrolled the situation, enabling Elena to make mindless decisions, taking decisions away from her for her protection. It had been a while since a 'big bad' was fighting at their coattails, but back then, things were so complicated.

* * *

Getting away from Stefan wasn't going to be easy. The way Damon saw it, there were two approaches: lie to Stefan directly, or lie to Stefan by sneaking out. Damon Salvatore was not a coward, human or not, so he chose the more direct approach.

"Stefan- I'm going out for a drive. It's a nice night and I want to take the top down and enjoy the fresh air." He grabbed his keys off the hall table, slid his arms through his leather jacket, and braced himself for Stefan's response.

"That sounds nice actually, I'll go with you." He put down the book he had been reading:  _Moby Dick_. "Are you sure your human eyes are adjusted to the dark well enough for driving though? Your decreased night vision probably takes some getting used to.."

"What Steffy, scared of the dark?" He rose his eyebrows, smirking at his brother. "The car might be old, but it has headlights. I'll be fine. I'm not blind Stefan- just human. An old, ex-vampire human." He shrugged.

"Well then, by all means, you can be my chauffeur for this night-drive. Let's go, brother" Stefan started to stand from the couch, his smile looking a bit forced.

"Actually, I want to go alone. I'm almost 160 years old, I don't need a babysitter... I need some time alone to think, you know?" The last part he tacked on to appeal to Stefan's sensitivities. His brother was always so introspective. It would be hard for him to deny Damon some time to be alone with his thoughts, which was exactly what Damon was hoping for.

Stefan rubbed his hand across his face in defeat. Anxiety began to tighten the muscles in his face. He sensed ulterior motive in Damon's words, but he didn't want to bring it up. The last thing he wanted to do was send an irritated, human, Damon out on the road.

"Alright, well- take your phone in case you have car troubles or something. Don't worry, I'll stay up." Stefan got up, poured himself a glass of scotch and moved to a chair next to the fire. He stared into his glass, avoiding eye contact with Damon. His brother was right, he can take care of himself. Elena swore she would leave him alone until her thirst subsided. She had promised Stefan that after she attacked Damon in the living room. Elena was kind, she was compassionate, but he couldn't trust her as a baby vampire. Even the saintliest of people had killed in their first months. He didn't like the situation at all, but there was little he could do besides sit here and wait for Damon to come home, drinking excessive amounts of alcohol to calm his nerves. The bourbon clung to the walls of the tumbler as he swirled it in the glass.

He heard a jingle of keys, the slam of the front door, and the purr of the Camaro's engine.

Damon was gone.

* * *

Night driving was absolutely exhilarating. The hairpin turns of the backroads snuck up on Damon now, the lack of streetlights compounding the challenge. It was far too cold outside to have the top down, but with each curve Damon savored how his body shifted, leaning into the movements. His nose and cheeks burned with the chill. Wisps of raven hair tickled his forehead, and his eyes grew dry from the rushing air. Every sensation was unmistakably human.

Something was pulling him toward the forest, calling out to him and pleading for him to drive into the dense and isolated woods. More of an invitation than a demand, he didn't feel commanded, rather excited with the prospect of getting there. He wasn't quite sure where he was going, he just knew he had to continue. Originally, his plan was to drive to the Gilbert house, park a few blocks down the street and sneak inside. He didn't even remember turning the opposite way out of the boarding house, heading away from town. The goal of the evening was to find Elena, to see her, to talk to her, to understand why she wasn't reaching out to him- but instead he was nearing Willow Creek with no signs of life in sight.

An ache was growing behind his eyes, a side effect of the time of night. He had slept in until 9:00 this morning, but it hardly felt like enough. He cursed himself for not drinking a coffee before he left.

It wasn't until he had been driving for about twenty minutes that he saw another pair of headlights languidly chug past him in the opposite direction. With the thick mist, the headlights were as hazy as Gatsby's lantern, casting an eerie glow.

' _Strange'_  he thought. ' _I wonder what they're doing out at this hour?'_ He refused to acknowledge that he didn't know what he was doing out here himself. The night seemed even darker after the car passed and he squinted in vain to see the road. It was no use- the Camaro didn't have fog lights, his vision was weak, his eyelids were heavy. He didn't see the shadowy figure in the road until it was almost too late.

Whining and squealing, the wheels disturbed the serene quiet of the forest. Rubber burned as the heavy, steel-framed sports car skid to a stop, swerving into the other lane. Damon's leg was locked, his arm strained and gripping the hand brake. He was frozen in that position, bracing himself for an imaginary impact. His chest hurt, heaving up and down as he began to relax his muscles. The engine continued to hum, reminding him to shift the car into park. He raked his fingers through his hair, feeling the sweat on his brow.

As he looked up, he noticed the figure approaching him, a slender silhouette gliding forward. She elegantly stepped into the glow of the headlights, taking what little was left of his breath away.

This wasn't the Elena he met on the road over a year ago, calling her parents to pick her up from a party. Standing in front of his car, this was a completely different breed of woman. She looked like the embodiment of the night- sexy, dangerous, full of mystery. Cascades of silken hair, wavy from the humid fog, were tousled about by the breeze. Her voluptuous crimson lips were curled into a smirk as their eyes met for the first time.

' _Crimson. Scarlet red. Are they stained with… blood?'_  Damon thought to himself as his pulse raced. His body was scared of the predator who stood in front of him, but his heart wanted to rush forward and wrap her in his arms.

"Damon!" She sped forward, opening the car door and dragging him outside. Pulling his body against hers, she rolled them on top of the car's hood as she began to grind against him.

"I missed you  _so_ much…." Her mouth crashed against his with a greedy desire. As their tongues danced, Damon recognized the coppery tang of blood. Everything clicked- the car he passed, the isolated road, the recent feed- Elena had taken a page from his own book. He never thought he would be on the other side of a classic 'lay in the middle of the road' hunting session. It was incredibly hard to think while Elena was all over his body, and she could easily sense his distraction.

"What's wrong?" She broke away, her eyes suddenly flaring to a panicked frenzy. "Don't you want me Damon? Do you not want me anymore now that I'm like  _this_?" She stood up, flashing her fangs, her eyes going black. She simultaneously looked like she was about to burst into tears or kill him on the spot. Fisting his shirt in her hand, she yanked him up off the car. He dangled in her grasp. "Do you not want me anymore now that I'm like  _her_?"

"Elena, calm down." He tried his best to keep his voice steady and even. New vampires had the tempers of small children, and it took a certain amount of skill to redirect their emotions. "Of course I want you, have you seen you? You are made of sex." He swallowed nervously. Usually he would've come up with something more flirtatious and suave to say. This was not his best work. "I was just… caught off guard. I had been out looking for you tonight and-"

All it took for her to be back on top of him was to hear that he wanted her. She wasn't going to let him talk anymore. Her vampire libido was screaming at her to rip his clothes off- so she did. Fabric scraps were tossed into the forest with abandon as her hands rushed back to his chest. Her fingers danced around the planes of his pecs, circling his nipples with a light touch. She switched the pressure, roughly raking her nails from his clavicle to his lower abs, leaving bright red marks in her wake. Splayed on the hood of the car, his alabaster body was illuminated by the moon, the blue of his eyes matching the paint of the baby-blue Camaro. He was beautiful, and she was going to have him.

He was completely overwhelmed. She touched him with precision, studied him with curiosity. He knew that she was seeing him, in a way, for the first time. He remembered what it was like, being intimate with a human for the first time. She was seeing every vein running under his skin, every muscle flexing to her touch. Beads of sweat, like tiny crystals, were starting to emerge from every pore. She could hear his heart flutter, his breath heavy. Something primal within her sensed his pheromones, a heavy smell that the predator in her craved. Dancing across his body, her fingers felt each curve, every scar, each hair. Each touch made her feel like her body was going to combust, the level of her passion soaring out of control. Every part of her mind was hyperfocused on him, as if she had never thought of anything else before and she would never think of anything else again.

For him, it was all a blur. To the same extreme that her senses were heightened, his were diminished. He couldn't keep track of everything that was happening, each emotion and sensation melting into one feeling- bliss. She felt like warm honey, enveloping his body, embers glowing under his skin. As her touch grew more heated, more hungry, so did his singular desire- to have her. Her hands fiddled with his fly, deftly unbuttoning and unzipping it in one movement. She eyed his hip bones, admiring the curves of his v-lines, as she yanked his pants and boxer-briefs down just enough to expose his dick. Wrapping her hand around his cock, she leaned into him, watching him unravel as she slowly began to stroke.

Her hands were firm, a bit cold. He twitched to her touch, his body rising to attention. As she rubbed him, she was grinding against him, her mouth dangerously close to his neck. Her sweet breath- part of the enticing allure of a predator, sent shivers down his spine, making him lose control even further. A trail of kisses made its way up the highway of his carotid artery, following the sharp contour of his jaw before stopping at his mouth. He melted into the kiss, sliding his arms up her waist and planting his fists into her hair. The simple movement gave him a bit more control of the situation, an attempt to be an active participant as opposed to a blissful victim to her beautiful seduction.

He remembered what it was like- fucking in his car outside of the bar. They hadn't seen each other for a matter of days and the passion was almost too much to bear. This was different. Somehow a week felt like an eternity, and her heightened desire was no match for what he was feeling. Each was consumed by the fullest extent of their capacity for lust. There was nothing hiding how they felt; this was the first real time they were hooking up sober. The intensity of the sensations slapped Damon in the face as Elena suddenly dropped down to her knees.

He would be lying if he said he wasn't a bit terrified of having a vampire's mouth around his cock. Katherine had always been too much of a gentlewoman in the 1800s to give him blowjobs. He never would have asked such a lady to do a whore's act. As Elena wrapped her plump lips around him for what felt like the first time, he was thankful that societal expectations and standards had changed. She bobbed along the length, her soft tongue adding just a bit of pressure underneath his shaft. Her tongue swirled around the head before taking him deep in her throat, moaning in pleasure at his taste.

A small amount of suction followed her head up his shaft, pulling what little bit of blood he could spare into his cock. Drops of precum leaked from the top. The strength of his erection was making him dizzy. They needed to fuck- now. Logistically, that was going to be a bit difficult. The car was still in the middle of the road, Elena was wearing skinny jeans, and Damon was uncomfortably pressed against the hood of the car. This just wouldn't do. Elena pulled Damon to his feet, guiding him a few feet away from the car. She reached into the cab, shifting the car into neutral.

In a show of strength, she planted both feet to the ground, bent her knees, and pushed the car onto the side of the road.

"Good, now that that's out of the way…" She vamp sped forward, wrapping him in her arms and dragging both of them into the woods.

He remembered what it was like to zip around like that, catching people off guard and seemingly appearing out of thin air. It was invigorating being on the other end of it. She pinned him to the ground before standing up taking off her shoes, and shimmying out of her jeans. Her shirt pulled easily over her shoulders; she wasn't wearing a bra underneath. Damon's pants were still around his ankles, and it wouldn't be fair to be more clothed than her.

Soon, they were fucking on the forest floor. Elena rode him with a hunger, leaves falling into her hair. Her thin hips ground down into him, having him inside of her didn't feel close enough. He turned her over, thrusting into her with all of his power. Her screams of pleasure were dampened by the surrounding trees- they were the only sound he could hear. They were simultaneously incredibly exposed and intimately hidden. He wasn't going to last very long- that blow job had been incredibly effective- but he had to, for her. Luckily, vampires cum faster than most humans, so Elena was right there with him in her arousal.

They were set in a steady rhythm, her long legs wrapped around his waist. She pushed deeply into each thrust, reveling in how he filled her up. Forehead to forehead, their bodies were buzzing with potential energy, anticipating the orgasm that was so dangerously close. As the waves of pleasure hit, they rode it out, entwining themselves further into a web of limbs.

Being a human was exhausting, and as his body cooled down, he melted into Elena's arms, settling into the ground next to her. It was 4:00 AM, and the once insatiable Damon Salvatore had met his match- sleep. In his century and a half on this planet, he never once thought he would see a day where he fell asleep immediately after sex, but here he was, lying on the dirt, struggling to stay awake.

His eyes fluttered shut as soft, delicate fingers intertwined with his.

It couldn't be real, his ears must have been tricking him.

He swore he heard the words whispered by her beautiful soft voice:

" _Damon, I love you."_


	29. I Drifted For a While Down the Road to Ruin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to The Vampire Diaries. If I did, I'm sure I'd be doing something more exciting than writing fanfiction on a Friday night.
> 
> Chapter title song credit: Long Black Road- Electric Light Orchestra

Morning air, succulent and sweet, smacked Bonnie Bennett in the face as she flung open the front door. She squinted her eyes up at a hazy sky, cursing the fact that her instincts were right- it was going to rain. Yesterday, she had spent over an hour washing her hair, conditioning the curls, and delicately pinning them up one by one- now, this humidity was certainly going to destroy them. Stefan jumped back when the door opened; he hadn't even knocked yet. Bonnie however, underestimated as always, had sensed that they were there, and more importantly, sensed why.

"So Elena and Damon are both missing. Both of them." Bonnie pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing in frustration. "Do you  _really_  need a witch to figure out what they're probably up to? I am pretty busy you know."

"Bonnie, I know, I know, but look- Damon is human. I don't trust Elena with him right now. Who knows what could be happening. I've tried calling him almost a hundred times and he isn't answering-it's going straight to voicemail." Stefan's eyes looked exhausted, lavender-brown rings making his face appear hollow. Vampires technically didn't need sleep, but Stefan looked like he was somehow deprived.

Bonnie wondered to herself:  _When was the last time he fed?_

Shaking off the worry, she pulled her attention back to the matter at hand.

"Alright, I'll help you find them, but afterward, I have to keep continuing my research. If my theory is right, Elena hurting Damon might actually be one of the potential solutions to our problem."

"What are you saying? That like, the link can still go both ways? It's not like a one and done thing?" Caroline was suddenly filled with excitement. "Stefan it means we can make Elena human again! That's amazing!"

Before Caroline could start celebrating Stefan jumped in, his demeanor somber and reserved.

"But Damon would have to die for us to test out this theory. And if we're wrong… then he's dead for good."

"But if we fed him vampire blood, wouldn't he come back regardless?" Caroline whined. "I mean what's the big deal, he's been a vampire before."

"But is that what Elena would want Caroline?" Bonnie's eyes were digging into Caroline's shallow exterior. "Would she want us to take Damon's human life away from him?"

"This is a second chance for him. After all he's been through- after what I  _forced_  him to do- I think he deserves to not lose his humanity over a magical hunch."

"And who knows, with the way this soul bonding seems to work, there's a chance that it might not work the same way this time. Magic is unpredictable. I'm powerful, but if things were to go wrong, I couldn't fix it. Any action we take for this has to be Damon and Elena's decision."

Stefan and Caroline both hated that this was the situation they were in, that Damon and Elena would have to agree on something that affected Elena's well-being. It was completely out of their hands.

"For now though," She sighed. "since you barged into my house at 5:00 in the morning, let's at least address the immediate task at hand: finding Damon and Elena. Follow me."

Bonnie led them downstairs into her small, unfinished basement. As they descended, candles began to alight, following them until the room was comfortably lit. She had become quite the elegant witch, making every expression of magic appear effortless. It was a far cry from her early days, when even the most simple spells would cause blood to trickle from her nose, or for her body to entirely collapse. While nobody was paying attention, Bonnie Bennet had grown into the birthright of the Bennet witches.

"I just need to grab some materials and I should be able to do a simple locator spell. Despite all of the overwhelming evidence that they are together, I'll do a locator spell for both of them anyway."

She walked over to an old, rusted metal cabinet- the kind used to store tools. Opening it up revealed what seemed to be hundreds of tiny vials. She grabbed two bottles that, from a distance, looked nearly empty. Placing them on a rough wood table, Stefan and Caroline noticed that they were actually filled with strands of hair. The tiny labels in Bonnie's delicate handwriting weren't particularly helpful- the text was written in some kind of code or runes. While the two observers stood baffled by the little vials, Bonnie spun around to a small fridge. Once the light flicked on, you could see that it too was filled with tiny bottles- mostly dark crimson.  _Blood._

Bonnie produced two tiny bottles, again, with indiscernible labels.

"When did you start collecting all of this?" Stefan furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Listen, with as much trouble we find ourselves in, a witch has to be prepared. Nobody misses a few strands of hair, a syringe or two of blood. Then there's the powdered blood that I scrape up when we clean up after, say, stabbing an original vampire." She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm the center of attention when someone needs me, but the rest of the time, I kind of slip through the cracks unnoticed."

A heavy brass bowl made a thud as she dropped it onto the table, adjusting it at a specific angle to the corners of the table. She poured in the blood and hair from vials with matching labels. The locks were long, silky, and dark.

 _It must be Elena's_.

"Yes, this is Elena's." Stefan and Caroline were shocked as she seemed to read their minds. "Don't be shocked. In a room this quiet and remote, with very little outside distraction, it's pretty easy to hear your thoughts. We are essentially in a magical panic room. Bennett witches couldn't possibly be this powerful if we weren't at least a  _bit_  psychic." Nobody pried any further, they were starting to notice that perhaps she felt underestimated, and they didn't want to step on any toes.

"If it's Elena's…" Caroline squinted her curious cat-like eyes at the now empty bottles. "Then why isn't her name on the label? It seems just like a bunch of random characters."

"It's an ancient Gaelic script. Before you ask, no- Salem witches weren't Gaelic, but it's a common language I picked up along the way in my studies. Of course, it's then put through a cipher that only I know, so that any random person who knows Gaelic couldn't come in here and find what they are looking for."

Her precautions were wise. There's no telling what this much material - especially doppelganger blood- could do in the wrong hands. The damage could be unprecedented. Bonnie was incredibly comfortable with this power however, cool and collected as she popped from shelf to shelf grabbing more generic ingredients. It looked to be brick dust, some kind of oil, and a dried, flowering herb. She tossed tiny pinches of the dry ingredients in before pouring just a tiny amount of the oil. The heavy marble pestle came down hard on the brass bowl, an almost melodic sound reverberating through the room.

It reminded Stefan of the Tibetan Singing bowls. The ones he had used to help Caroline calm her unquiet and neurotic mind after her transition.

The last step was spreading out a rudimentary map of the southern Mid-Atlantic onto the table. Placing both hands on the bowl, Bonnie closed her eyes, setting the mixed contents on fire. A pungent aroma wafted from the conflagration, a floral and mineral scent muddled with burning hair. When she opened her eyes, the flame died out, the remaining glow showing specs of gold in her eyes.

Pouring the viscous mixture onto the map, it slithered about as if a live snake, settling on a point just about 30 miles outside of Mystic Falls. Bonnie pulled a pin out of a nearby tomato-shaped cushion- the type used for sewing- and placed it on the map.

"Elena isn't very far away, that's great!" Caroline looked like she was ready to run upstairs, get in the car and go, but Stefan reminded her of the other reason they were here.

"We still need to figure out where Damon is."  _If he's anywhere. If Elena didn't lose control with him._ Stefan couldn't imagine having such strong emotions toward a human while he was a new vampire. When he was turned, the only person he had felt attached to was Katherine. Once he finished his transition, he learned that a large amount of that attraction was just compulsion, and with Katherine supposedly locked in a tomb, he was left with nobody he even had an ounce of attraction to. But if he did, he knew for certain that that emotion would have turned into ravenous hunger. Swallowing hard, he tried to calm his nerves and hope for the best.

Before repeating the ritual for finding Damon, Bonnie placed her hands on the table and closed her eyes. The entire table seemed to become engulfed in flames. When the flames flickered out, it revealed a clean bowl and a clean map; the only thing remaining was the tiny red pin. Stefan and Caroline were left, again, confused.

"Just because Damon and Elena are so…  _connected_ …" Bonnie shuddered at the thought of just how connected they could be. "... it doesn't mean that I should ignore sanitary practices. You wouldn't leave an operating room dirty just because your last patient was someone's brother or husband." She rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed with all of the questions from Caroline and Stefan, both spoken and unspoken.

The ritual seemed to take different times for different people. To Caroline, she barely cared this time around. Not paying attention, the second half seemed to take less than a second. For Bonnie, the entire spell was so methodical, that each motion felt like an orchestrated measure in sheet music- each step taking a perfectly concise set of time. For Stefan, the ritual seemed to take hours. As hard as it was to admit, he was more worried about his brother than he had ever been worried about anyone before. The anticipation that, perhaps, the tracking mixture might hit the map and disperse, not finding a location at all, was too much to bear. That would confirm his worst fear- that Damon was dead. This time, for real.

To Stefan's relief, the mixture sprang to life as it hit the map, quickly concentrating itself around the little pin.

"Just like I thought, Damon and Elena are together. Honestly, I don't think I needed to waste my precious ingredients for this, but at least now you have peace of mind." She dusted off her hands on her pants, gathering up her materials and putting them away.

"So like, that's it?" Caroline's voice was growing more impatient. "What do we do then? Go in, guns blazing, and rip the two  _lovebirds_  apart? Ugh, never mind, it doesn't matter. We just need to get her back. Let's go, Stef." She turned around on her heel, storming out of the basement like a woman on a mission- which she was.

Stefan looked at Bonnie, his eyes apologizing to her for Caroline's behavior. He didn't dare say the words out loud- he knew Caroline would be able to hear both of them. Their friend could be genuinely terrifying when she was so set on a goal.

* * *

In the middle of the woods, the silence was pierced by desperate cries, seemingly calling out to anything that would listen.

"Oh God, No, I'm sorry Damon. I'm so so sorry, I didn't mean to, I just… You were just… No-  _please_. You have to wake up." Tears were streaming down Elena's face.

It had all happened so quickly. One minute, they were lounging on the damp ground in post-coital bliss, not a care in the world. The next thing Elena knew, she was on top of him- and not in a romantic way. Somehow during their escapade, Damon must have cut himself on a thorn, because a small trail of blood dibbled from his side. Vampire instincts took over Elena's body and she was on him like a fat kid to cake. Nothing about it made sense. She had been able to maintain self-control during their lovemaking, resisting the constant urge to sink her fangs into him. Even during a blowjob, her fangs stayed hidden; the pulsing blood going to his groin was resistible. There had been a terrible miscalculation in that assumption, though. The self-righteous words of Caroline Forbes echoed through her head as time seemed to stop around her.

' _Vices are the best distractions. They draw your mind away from the hunger, the thirst. Any urge you give into that's_ not  _blood is a win. Alcohol, cigarettes, food, shopping, sex...'_

_Sex._

The second the distraction had been over, she attacked. Naively, she had thought the sex would be the most tempting time, but she had been wrong. She had done the opposite: she worked up an appetite.

Now she was kneeling above him, shaking his seemingly lifeless shoulders, completely unsure what to do. She couldn't tell how much blood she had drained, but the gash in his neck was deep, wide, and messy. Blood covered everything in her field of vision. Suddenly, she dropped his body. As she had tried to shake him awake, she was making the scene much more harrowing, spraying blood everywhere. Her skin was stained red, and she could only assume the same of her face.

_Think, Elena, think. You can't let him die, you have to save him._

A nagging voice in her head chimed in, taunting her.

_You can't let him die if he's already dead._

At that point, something snapped inside her brain. She knew what she had to do. After all, she wanted to be a doctor when she graduated, so she just put her mind into triage mode. If he had a pulse, it was faint- her eyes and hearing couldn't sense it well, so she resorted to standard tactics. Her hand slid down his arm to meet his wrist, pressing her cool fingers into his wrist.

It was an excruciating millisecond before she felt a feeble pulse rise and fall. She knew it wasn't smart, but she leaned down and kissed his forehead- she just couldn't help it. But she knew that he could die at any moment, he wasn't doing well. The only chance he had was vampire blood, so Elena crunched into her arm and held it to his lips. A few drops fell into his open mouth, but nothing was happening. Vampire blood didn't heal instantly, but she felt like she would have seen some change by now. Without the active force of him sucking her blood, her wound closed itself, making her bite back in and reopen the wound.

She repeated the cycle, biting her arm over and over until there was no unmarked flesh left. The bites were coming faster than she could heal as her panic grew. Squeezing her arm made blood flow more quickly, massaging his throat caused him to swallow, but his pulse barely strengthened, his gaping neck wounds wouldn't close. He was alive, but not healing.

Trapped in her bubble of panic and despair, she didn't even hear footsteps approach her from behind. She hadn't heard the car pull alongside the road moments earlier, she hadn't heard the voices of her friends as they called into the woods. All of her senses were focused on Damon.

Strong hands gripped her shoulders, breaking her focus and throwing her off of Damon. It was Stefan and Caroline.

_Why are they here?_

"Elena." Stefan growled. "What have you done!" Stefan tried the same thing, biting his wrist and pressing it to his brother's mouth, but the result was the same. Caroline held Elena back while Stefan tried to shake his brother to life.

"Damon? Damon, are you with me?" Stefan patted at Damon's cheek, his green eyes growing glassy with welling tears. He went through all the motions, feeling for pulse, peeling open Damon's eyes, listening to his breathing. Unsatisfied with the wound healing, which was finally showing some progress, Stefan bit back into his wrist and rubbed it onto the wound. The skin quickly began to knit together, stopping any more blood from leaving Damon's body.

"Stefan, I'm going to get her out of here. She can't be in the same car with Damon. You can take Damon back in his car; it's on the other side of the street. Are you okay to get him there on your own?"

"I'll be fine, just get her out of here. We can't afford for her to hurt him anymore right now."

But before Caroline could drag Elena away, Elena had slipped out of Caroline's hands and vanished. For a moment, Caroline considered chasing after her- she was an out of control fledgling after all- but she knew that Elena was as shocked at her own behavior as she was. She would find her soon, but right now, she was going to help Stefan save his brother.


	30. Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, the characters, or the stories. And unlike Elena, my floors are laminate, so I can't hide things under them.
> 
> Chapter title song: Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime- Beck

Being home felt different somehow. The lights were brighter, the floorboards were creakier; she could feel the faint draft creeping in through the window. When you're human, everything is more muted, more subtle. Now, it was like Elena was seeing her childhood home for the first time. It was mid-morning, and Jenna had just left to drive to school. Jeremy had been out late with Tyler Lockwood, so he had spent the night. Elena had the house all to herself.

She was thankful. If Jeremy was home, she would be able to hear his heartbeat constantly. Eventually, she would learn how to tune it out, but for now it still made her focus zero in on one thought: blood. After what she'd done to Damon, the last thing she wanted to do was hurt anyone else. All she wanted to do was plop down, face first, into her soft bed and try to forget all of this happened.

Before she laid down, a pit stop to Jeremy's room was in order. She walked around his bed, over to a spot on the wood floor near the window, pressing on the boards lightly with her foot to find the loose one. With her newly enhanced hearing, this was easier than ever, and she was quickly opening up her floor to reveal a small, hidden compartment.

 _Jackpot_.

She knew, with his troubled past, that Jeremy would have a hidden stash of… something, and since Jenna did a full sweep of the room a few months ago, Jeremy must have gotten smarter with his hiding spots.

Inside of the dusty hole were a few miscellaneous supplies of your typical teenage neerdowell- a glass bowl-pipe for smoking pot, a lighter, a small bag of weed, and the object of her desires- a large bottle of cheap vodka. Elena hated the cheap stuff, but right now, she was looking for quantity, not quality. She had to tune out the voices in her head, screaming at her; the voices told her she had ruined everything, and they wouldn't stop. Voices that told her she needed to turn it off, to stop feeling, go on a feeding frenzy and just succumb to the evil inside of her. But she wasn't willing to do that, not yet. She had enough shame as it was, she didn't want to make her problems any worse.

Hidden a bit farther into the compartment was a little orange bottle full of prescription pills left over from after their parents died. They were prescribed to Elena, but it wasn't surprising that a rebellious teenage boy would have pilfered them from the shared bathroom. For a brief moment her hand hovered above the weed, but to a vampire half empty snack-bag wouldn't make a dent in her psyche. Dusting off the pill bottle and grabbing the vodka by the neck, she stood up. The floorboard was easily kicked back into place on her way back to her room, but she paused before she made it all the way there.

The prescription pills reminded her of the anxiety medicines she had hidden in the medicine cabinet, so she made another quick pit-stop. She considered taking a bath, but even as a vampire it didn't seem particularly smart to fall asleep in the bath. Plus, she was far too exhausted, she decided as she sat everything down on her nightstand and peeled off her jeans.

Sitting cross-legged on her bed, she squinted her eyes; her emotional pain gave her a physical headache. Opening the child-locked bottles was hilariously easy for a vampire. As a human, of course anyone over the age of eight could manage that, but most people at least fumbled with it awkwardly for a second or so, especially Elena, with her delicate, lanky fingers. Her mind was going to keep her up awake, the guilt of hurting Damon clawing and gnashing at her brain, trying to break her down. For a vampire, it would take a lot to knock her out, but hopefully, this would do it.

The mixture of pills in her one hand, the bottle of vodka in the other- this combination could easily kill a normal person. That's what Elena was counting on at least. Maybe if her breathing slowed enough, if she got close enough to dying, she would actually be able to stay asleep. Cheap vodka might taste like mouthwash, but at least it covered up the bitter taste of un-coated pharmaceuticals. For good measure, she drank far past the threshold of washing down the pills- she finished the whole bottle. By the bottom of the bottle, she felt at least tipsy, letting her body fall back into the pillows and letting the blackout take her over.

Almost as quickly as she fell asleep, she lurched awake. Her lungs cried for air, a human reflex mainly, but she gasped regardless. The air had a musky smell of cheap aftershave clinging to it, smelling abrasive and a bit sickening. Human breathing, painfully loud, was grating at her eardrums. If a vampire could have a hangover, this would be it.

"Good morning, Marilyn. Did you have a fun overdose?" Alaric waved the bottles around, unamused. The rattling of pills in the bottles made her want to scatter like a cat. "Oh, what? Do you have a bit of a headache? Huh, you know, just because you're a vampire doesn't mean you're immune to feeling…. crappy."

"This is hell. This is absolute, unbearable hell." She turned over onto her stomach and threw her pillow over her head, the last words sounding mumbled.

"I'm sure it is, you probably died a few times in your sleep. That's not particularly restful. I suppose it feels more like how I feel before my ring brings me back. And if it's anything like that, it ain't great." He raised his bushy eyebrows. His expression wasn't empathetic, but instead disappointed.

Elena lifted the pillow, turning to her side. A long, dramatic sigh escaped her lips as she squinted her eyes.

"Hangovers sucked less than this when I was human. At least then Damon would give me some coffee and-"

"Oh yeah, I've heard  _all_ about his special coffee. But here, I'll give you the next best thing." He tossed her a blood bag as he walked over and unscrewed a thermos of coffee. "My human palate doesn't know if those would taste good mixed, but either way, both will help you out. Suck them down because we need to talk about what happened out in the woods."

She did as she was told. Alaric had that authoritative effect on everyone. It was something halfway between fatherly and managerial: a teacher. He had been right on the mark too; the blood and coffee had her feeling almost completely back to normal. She could think again, her ears weren't ringing, the headache lifted. More importantly, she wasn't hungry anymore. The grey-blue tinge lifted from her face, the golden honey tones returned to her chestnut eyes, and her lithe muscles relaxed. She went from looking dead to a healthy, sanguine, undead woman.

"Down to business. Do you remember what happened early yesterday morning?"

"That was yesterday?" Her face scrunched into a look of bewilderment. Glancing across the room, she could see her reflection in the mirror. A rumpled head of hair, eyeliner smeared under her eyes, and the rumpled black camisole on her torso were proof that he was telling the truth. Suddenly she felt incredibly naked, pulling the covers higher up around herself as she leaned back on the headboard.

"Yes, and now it's early afternoon. Now I don't want to act like the bad cop here, but just answer the question Elena."

"Of course I remember, I just- I just can't… '" Tears started to well in her eyes as her composure immediately shattered.

"No, Elena. Listen to me." His volume increased. "Just say exactly what happened, just the facts. If you don't address things directly you're more likely to turn it off. You don't want to turn off your humanity, do you?" His tone was even and stern, but she kept crying. He wasn't going to back down, instead repeating the question.

"Elena, what happened yesterday morning in the woods?"

She took a deep breath.

"I… I attacked Damon." She let out the breath. Just saying those words out loud, getting it off her chest, made her feel so much better somehow.

"Okay... that's a good start. Now what else? What happened before? Don't worry about whether or not it's something I'd want to hear. Let's start off with why you were in the road." He leaned forward, folding his hands.

"I was hunting. I laid down in the road, and I fed on the first person who drove by. Then, Damon found me. I don't know how he did, actually." She trailed off. The question hadn't occurred to her until she said it. Alaric, having heard the familiar tune before, rolled his eyes.

"That used to be his go-to existential crisis routine- the whole lay in the middle of the road thing. He probably figured that's what you were up to."

"I was hungry. I wasn't having an existential crisis-"

"Sure you weren't. I'm sure transitioning to a vampire for a teenage girl is a piece of cake." His sarcasm was so thick it could be cut with a knife. "But I'll ignore that bit. Did you kill this person?"

"No, it was just a  _snatch, eat, erase_. I was actually kind of… proud of myself." At least Damon would have been proud of her. Alaric, however, was unimpressed.

"It was still incredibly careless for you to be out there by yourself. You have so many people offering to help you- I know you're more responsible than this. So, after that person left, Damon drove up and ran into you?"

"Well, he didn't  _run into me_ …"

"Elena…" He was not in the mood to deal with any sass. Damon definitely rubbed off on her, and not for the better.

"Yes. Damon drove up, we… spent some time together… and then he fell asleep and I…" Suddenly she seemed to be somewhere else. Distant and disconnected, tears flowing uncontrollably.

"And you bit him. You bit Damon, you drained his blood, and he almost died. You need to say it yourself- out loud."

"I can't-"

"Say it, Elena." There was a beat of silence.

"I bit Damon. I drained his blood, and he…" She swallowed and wiped some tears from her face. "He almost died."

"You were extraordinarily lucky today. But you already know that, right?"

He looked over to Elena. He knew he was being hard on her, but she needed to hear it. More importantly, she needed to confront the truth head on, and be honest with herself. Tears were still quietly streaming down her plump, reddened cheeks.

"We haven't been making rules just to make your life hard, Elena. We never have been. You've been through so much, but that doesn't excuse your bad behavior- not anymore. When you were a human, binge drinking, constant partying, all the running around with Damon- breaking the rules then was one thing. But now you're playing with fire- life and death."

"I know, Ric, I-"

"Let me finish here, okay? You were playing with life and death before, yours, but you had someone there every step of the way reeling you in. Someone who, despite his laundry list of flaws, loves you enough to let out the leash but still hold onto it tight. Someone who was always in control, always looking out for you. You had Damon. As irresponsible as he might be, I knew if you were with him you would be safe. Now, I want the same for him. He deserves that."

"I know he does. I want that for him too Ric, I want to be there for him and protect him, but look at me- I'm a mess. I hurt him, and he'll never forgive me."

"Elena, of course he will forgive you! He could never hate you, and you know that. But here's the thing- Damon is still the same person. Even though he might be the one who needs protecting, he's still going to be torn apart trying to protect  _you._  I almost guarantee that right now, he's kicking himself for not being able to protect you from yourself. If he were a vampire, you know he would be here for you every step of the way, teaching you the ins and outs of your new pair of fangs."

"I disappointed him…" She threw her head down into her hands. "I'm a terrible vampire! I disappointed him and that's the last thing I wanted to do. I thought I was doing so well, trying to be him. I did the snatch, eat, erase. We had sex and I didn't feed on him then. But I got too cocky…"

"Maybe you were being more like him than you thought- which, I might add is a  _terrible_  choice in role model. But we can unpack that another time." He added that to list of things that needed to be unpacked that he sincerely thought would get lost before they made it to baggage claim. He especially hoped he'd never have to think about Damon and Elena having sex ever again.

"No Alaric, it's not about role models. I love him."

Alaric wasn't surprised- he suspected as much- but he wanted to hear her out on this. It seemed like there was more to her statement than just the admission, and he knew that he might be the only person who wouldn't judge her for caring for Damon. So he relaxed his posture, his facial expression, and did his best to seem more open.

"When did you realize you loved him?"

"I knew I had feelings for Damon before…. Before I turned. But things were so chaotic. I was running from everything- from home, from myself, from feeling, well, anything really. Damon was all passion, adventure, and danger." Her eyes sparkled a bit as she said those words, almost uttering them like a prayer. "But what I was afraid of more than anything was what he really could offer: a love that consumed me. I wasn't thinking straight, so I couldn't be sure of anything. I was so used to being told how I was supposed to feel, what I was supposed to believe, who I was supposed to love; I just kept running. But once I turned I started to remember things."

"During transition, you'll remember anything you were compelled to forget." Alaric pursed his lips, the words mostly whispered to himself.

"Yes, I remembered everything: I'd been compelled to forget so much. Did you know I met Damon first- the night my parents died? He had never even met me before, but somehow he seemed to know me better than myself. He said things to me that only a soulmate would know to say. I remembered how he said that he didn't deserve me, but that Stefan did. And that he loved me so much, that he wanted what was best for me even if it wasn't what was best for him. Just thinking about that memory, it tears my heart apart because he deserves love. And how do I show him that? By telling him I love him and then almost murdering him." She shrieked as tears fell faster.

In all honesty, Alaric wasn't sure what to say now. Even for a mature vampire, this situation would be nearly impossible to handle. For a newbie like Elena, success wasn't even an option. To make matters worse, his experience as a middle-aged man left him ill-prepared to be faced with a crying teenage girl. Instead of focusing on the odds stacked against them, he chose to just go through the history books a bit.

"Let's flip the cards for a second then, shall we?" He stood up, taking a seat on the foot of the bed, hoping his closeness would serve as a gesture of comfort. "Damon loves you too, but he has done some  _serious_  things that ended up hurting you. I don't know if you want me to go through the whole list- it would take a while- but does killing your brother ring a bell? And you forgave him for that. I'm sure he will forgive you."

"But he doesn't deserve this. He deserves so much better than me." Her face scrunched up as she fisted her hands in her hair, shaking her head.

"Remember how you said that the memory of him saying those same words breaks your heart? Well I'm sure hearing you say the same words right now would break his heart too. I know that everything feels out of control right now. But you will get through this. I know you don't know what you're doing here-"

"No, I don't."

"But I know both of you, and you can't take the self-deprecating road here. The spirits have somehow tied you and Damon together, and that means you guys need to fix this. Not everyone gets that kind of divine intervention, you know."

Alaric's phone buzzed. It was a text from Stefan.

_Ric- Damon's up. He won't talk to me. Can you come over?_

Ric tapped away at his phone, firing back a response. He could almost see Stefan's deeply furrowed brow through the phone.

_Finishing up something at the Gilbert's, I'll head over after._

"What was that?" Elena asked.

"Damon's awake."

* * *

Dear Diary,

There's something unsettling about seeing Damon like this. After I brought him home yesterday- after he was attacked- he's barely woken up. I've cajoled him into the basics- drinking some water, eating some food- but all the while, he was still half asleep. It seems like all of the life has been drained from him. Not in the sense that he lost blood, but in the sense that he seems so… helpless.

Physically, I think he is fine. Dr. Fell came by the house to monitor him. His pulse was a bit slow, but other than that he was making a fine recovery. I could have given him more vampire blood, but that's not what he wants. I fear that now, this final act of pain and confusion might have broken him completely, and there's nothing I can do to fix it.

I can't imagine the confusion or hurt he's feeling. As much as I don't want to think about this, he loves Elena more than anything, perhaps even more than I do. But he has always been the protector, never the protected. Not only did I let this happen, but I let him get hurt by the woman he loves. I did this to Elena too. I know how she feels for him, even if she hasn't said it directly. Hurting someone you love is the worst pain of all. The only thing I can be grateful for is that he is alive, that Elena didn't kill him. That I didn't kill him. Neither of us would have recovered from that.

All my life, he has been the big brother. Older, stronger, fiercer, more confident- more powerful. His threat to make my life an eternity of misery was backed by a ferocity strong enough to make me quiver in my boots. Now he seems so small, frail and fragile. Like his light has left him. I don't know what else to do.

I'm not sure I'll ever know what to do.

Stefan gently closed his leather bound journal, leaning back on his desk chair as he combed his fingers through his hair. Damon was still down in his room, still showing no sign of waking up. Stefan felt like he was only sustaining Damon, keeping him alive but not helping him get back to living. Yes, it had only been a day, but something about Damon's condition terrified him, like someone hit by a car who would be paralyzed for life. Either way, he was human, and he still needed to eat food and drink water. Stefan swung by the kitchen, grabbing some bottled sparkling water and throwing together a bread and cheese plate. He figured if he stuck to the foods Damon ate even when he was a vampire, when he didn't have to eat at all, that maybe he could finally get him to eat something.

He lightly rapped the door to Damon's bedroom, not bothering to wait for a response before going in. Damon was turned over, facing the window. At first, Stefan thought he was asleep, but as he walked around to the other side of the room, he could see Damon's eyes were open, complete with a thousand-yard stare.

"Hey, Damon," Stefan kept his voice gentle, his soft smile reflected in his tone. "I brought you some food." He gently placed the tray on the side table. "I was going to bring you some wine, but you're still a bit dehydrated. If you drink this water though, I'll change my tune on that."

Complete silence. Damon's eyes, however, looked far less cloudy and much more aware, so cautiously, Stefan proceeded at trying to make conversation.

"So you've been kind of in and out of things, I don't know how lucid you've been. Dr. Fell stopped by, and although you lost a lot of blood, you're going to make a full recovery. She did insist that you drink plenty of fluids, and you were even on an IV for a few hours, just blood and saline."

"Well, that's a first." His voice was flat. "I never thought that as a human I'd still find a way to consume blood."

Humor, kind of. This is a start. I can maybe work with this, Stefan thought, still treading lightly.

"Who knew the blood supply in the basement would come in handy for humans too? Here, why don't you sit up a bit?" Stefan walked to the head of the bed, leaning over and grabbing a sham pillow from the other side of the bed. He placed it behind Damon's back, fluffing it gently before heaving Damon up by his shoulders. He placed the tray of food and water on Damon's lap, standing there awkwardly waiting for him to eat. "Do you want me to put on some TV? We could rent a movie or something."

"Look brother," Damon twisted the cap off of the glass bottle of water, gulping down a few generous sips. "I appreciate the effort here. I really do. But this isn't a sitcom. I don't need any brotherly bonding to heal my emotional wounds or… whatever." He gestured vaguely with his free hand while sucking down water at record speed. "Aaah, that feels much better." He replaced the cap from the bottle, placing it on the nightstand. "Now, what I do need is a shower. Just because I'm a living meat sack doesn't mean I have to be completely disgusting."

Damon couldn't fool his brother. This confidence was an act. There was no way that he could go from brain dead zombie to chipper and cocky that quickly. It was a complete 180, and Stefan could see right through it.

"You don't have to act like you're okay. You've been up here for almost two days, you're clearly not okay." Stefan's brow furrowed into a deep ravine of distress.

'"Fine. I wasn't okay, but now I am. Bodies heal. I'm just finally awake now, good as new." He pushed the tray aside, tossing the blankets off from his legs. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go shower-" As Damon slid off of the bed, he realized he had made a terrible mistake. His legs were weak, trembling- like barely-set gelatin. His vision blackened, stars dancing in front of his eyes. Dizziness overcame him, and unable to stop it, he collapsed to the floor. He didn't lose consciousness, and immediately tried to drag himself back up. He was unsuccessful, this time his arms completely slipping from under him. With that, his confidence broke just as quickly as it had sparked to life.

Stefan rushed down to his side at vampire speed, catching his brothers head and further rustling the mop of inky hair that was already completely disheveled. Sobs began to rip through Damon's chest, tears falling to the dark wooden floor.

"Hey don't worry. It's okay, I've got you." He spoke softly. "You just stood up too quickly, you'll be fine."

"NO, STEFAN!" He screamed, smacking Stefan away. "You don't get it. When you're a vampire, all you think about is how much you miss being human, but you forget that this is what it's like. I'm weak, I'm useless. I can't even be around Elena without being in danger. What kind of life is this? What kind of life could I offer her?" His tears began to dry a bit as he realized he shouldn't go too deep into this issue with his brother, Elena having broken his heart and all.

Stefan however, noticed a peculiar tone in Damon's words. It didn't seem like Damon was hurt by what Elena did at all, but rather hurt by the fact that he was the one vulnerable to it. It wasn't quite victim blaming, but more like a developing inferiority complex. Almost as if Damon, forever cocky and confident, was embarrassed. Under any other circumstances, Stefan would have laughed at the thought, but right now, his ever empathetic heart was full of sadness. He took a deep breath, trying to find the words that could simultaneously soothe Damon while skirting around the awkward topic of Elena.

"Look, you cared for her when she was human. Did it bother you then that she was a bit more fragile? That she was mortal? That she might not be able to keep up?"

"No, but Elena was good at being human. She had the Rolls Royce of human traits. Humanity suited her well."

"Well then, is she any less good as a vampire?"

"No, vampirism just amplifies those traits, and once she learns to control it, she'll be fine. But look, I sucked as a human. Being a vampire is what suited me. I was awesome at it. All of the traits that made me a scummy human made me great at being a vampire. I even looked good in all black. Now look at me- I'm a complete failure at being a human."

"Damon, I knew you as a human. You weren't awful at all, you just were ill suited for the times. The human Damon I knew didn't fight in the civil war because he didn't believe in the Confederacy's cause- not because he was lazy. Yes, he partied and drank, and was a bit of a womanizer, but he loved to live life to the fullest. You have a kind heart, Damon- you did then, you did as a vampire, and you do now. You fought for years to hide it, but you're a… good person. Deep down. Sometimes, very deep down." He chuckled lightening the mood.

"But what if Elen-"

"But what if she doesn't like you this way? Like I've said before, like you've told young vampires many times before, becoming a vampire doesn't change who you are. It just makes you more impulsive, amplifying your personality. I think… " Stefan took a deep breath. He didn't want to utter these words, but he knew he had to anyway- even if it was through gritted teeth. "I think she'll love you just the same." He let out the breath, avoiding eye contact.

Damon smiled a bit inside. Stefan really was a saint. Any other person wouldn't be able to talk about their love triangle so delicately, especially given all of the fringe drama. Damon didn't want to give Stefan too much credit, he was still himself after all.

"Well, I don't think anyone will care for me too much if I'm this disgusting, so why don't you help me up so I can take a stab at that shower." His voice was still vulnerable, but some of the sadness lifted.

After a short shower, a change of clothes, and finishing off the last of the food tray, Stefan watched Damon crawl into bed and drift back off to sleep. He drew closed the curtains, turned off the lights and brought over some water to leave by the bedside. While they had made some progress, he accepted that there was a lot to unpack here that Damon simply wouldn't be comfortable talking to him about. He walked out of the room, glancing back at his brother as he grabbed his phone out of his pocket. His nimble fingers tapped out a text to the only person who he knew could get through to Damon- Alaric.

Alaric would be over in a few hours, after dealing with some sort of issue at the Gilbert house. Feeling as if he had done absolutely everything in his power, Stefan decided to do everyone a favor and take care of himself. He threw on a light jacket before heading into the woods to hunt. Like Damon, he was no good to anyone, especially not himself, if he was hungry.


	31. We Drink Away the Days with a Takeaway Pizza

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, the characters, or the stories within. I really wish I had a pizza right now. I hope that isn't a spoiler.
> 
> Chapter title credit: Don't - Ed Sheeran

"Hey, Damon!" Alaric bellowed to a seemingly empty house. He knew Damon was still at home, probably sulking in his bedroom. "I brought some pizza, figured you still aren't used to eating so much human food. Thought it might help."

There was nothing but silence.

"I brought some beers, too… " His voice trailed, a bit sing-song. Finally, he heard some footsteps begin to shuffle from upstairs. If there was one thing that could always motivate his best friend, it was alcohol. Damon seemed to be dragging himself down the stairs, each step a challenge. His raven hair was a mess, bags sat under his eyes, and his 5 o'clock shadow was looking more like 10 o'clock darkness. Wrinkled cashmere pajama pants sat low on his hips, his chest bare. A black silk robe was draped across his shoulders, gaping open. He looked like The Dude, if The Dude was a stylish ex-vampire.

"You look like hell, man" Alaric patted Damon on the shoulder as his friend pushed past him into the kitchen.

"Well Ric, your 40 some-odd years of humanity haven't been treating you so well yourself." Damon grabbed two beers out of the six-pack Alaric brought. "I'll be taking these. Judging by your stomach, you don't need any more beer." He twirled around, grabbing a bottle opener from the drawer and cracking open each bottle. He chugged the first one in under a minute.

"Alright, buddy. Why don't you wash that beer down with a piece of pizza. You know you can't keep up like you used to. The universe didn't give you back your humanity all for you to die of alcohol poisoning." Ric slid onto one of the kitchen barstools, opening the pizza box and cracking open a beer of his own using a keychain.

Damon seemed more than ready to head back up to his bedroom, cloistering himself away, but Alaric patted the stool next to him loudly. His stern eyes commanded Damon to sit, communicating, without saying a word, ' _We need to have a talk'._

Reluctant, Damon sat down, reaching into the box to grab a slice. Before he took a bite, the piece of pizza went flying across the room. He shook his hands as if he had touched something contaminated, his face full of disgust.

"What the hell is that!" He shrieked. Alaric fought back a chuckle, taking a generous bite of his own slice.

"What, you don't like Hawaiian pizza, Damon? You're an asshole in every  _other_  way imaginable, so I assumed you'd want the asshole of all pizza flavors." He winked. "Come on, give it a try- it's not so bad."

The triangle covered in ham and pineapple was slowly approaching Damon's face. He had to think fast- catch Alaric off guard. Right before Damon was about to push the pizza into Alaric's face though, his friend swerved to the left, avoiding marinara-sauce catastrophe.

"Look Damon, calm down- it was just a joke." Alaric turned around the pizza box, revealing that the other half was pepperoni and sausage, any man's crowd-pleaser. "Consider this my white flag. I know that we haven't really had a chance to sit down and talk about the… things… that have been happening lately, and I'm worried about you. I don't think that any of us really handled your transition well, and I just want you to know that from this point forward, I'm here for you. When you went missing we all thought that, well, you were dead."

Damon picked a pepperoni off the pizza he was holding, popping it in his mouth. He avoided eye contact. "Well, I'm  _not._  So, end of discussion everyone, job's done, time to go home."

"Damon-"

"Look Ric, through everything, Elena was everyone's number one concern. I get it, I do-"

"That's exactly my point, Damon. You love her. This whole time everyone's treated you like the villain, and I can't imagine how that feels when you care about her more than anything."

For a few minutes, neither of them knew what to say. Beer bottles clinked against the granite counter top, their sound saying more than words could.

"I was protecting her from all of you, you know." Damon whispered. "I was protecting her from all of you, and in return you all just pushed her away more."

"What are you trying to say? I don't get it. All of us- especially Stefan- do everything we can to protect her. Why would she need protection from  _us_?" Alaric paused, trying to make sense of Damon's words. He wasn't defensive, he was genuinely confused.

"Did you ever consider that you all were protecting her so much that she felt trapped? Maybe that not being able to make decisions for herself might be… suffocating, perhaps?" Damon kicked back the last swig of beer. It was his second bottle.

"Huh, that kinda makes sense then." Alaric finished off his beer as well. This revelation didn't phase him as much as he thought it would. After talking to Elena, he had picked up a similar vibe from her as well. "If we're dropping big, plot-shifting revelations then, I'll go next. I stopped by the Gilbert house, spoke to Elena."

"Oh really? What did she have to say?" Damon's voice was even, yet curious. Newbie vampires were notorious for word-vomit scenarios, oversharing their emotions and an inability to keep secrets. Somewhere deep in his insecurities, he worried that she might have spilled the beans on the ' _I love you'_ bomb.

"After I gave her a good lecture on the dangers of drugs and alcohol, she-"

"Wait, what? Is this a dad joke, or did something happen?" Damon was confused. Drugs and alcohol couldn't kill a vampire, but destructive behavior is destructive behavior.

"It's just classic guilt. Right now, her guilt is-"

" _Heightened_ , yes, continue."

"She felt so bad about what she had done, so out of control, that she just wanted to shut down for a while. She was so afraid that if she shut off her humanity, it would cause her to do more harm, so instead she really just wanted to sleep. I mean according to you, alcohol does kill cravings, but still… I don't think what she was doing was particularly kosher."

"Okay, I'm starting to think that you might have just gone full guidance counselor on her, Ric. She is a vampire, nothing save a stake in the heart will hurt her. Remember what I  _just_  said about how she doesn't take well to feeling suffocated?"

"Look, I know it might sound silly but nobody should cope with their emotions the way she did. She downed a handful of pills- opiates, Valium, who knows what else, and then drank a whole bottle of vodka. She was a mess, she looked like…"

"Anna Nicole Smith." They said at the same time. At their synchronization, they clinked their beer bottles.

"I'll give you a fatherly-concern free pass on that one." Damon pointed the neck of the bottle at Ric. "But in terms of newbie vamp behavior, that could have been much worse. Pressing the shutdown button was kinda smart actually." Damon shrugged his shoulders.

"Back to my original point, after I talked to her about acting out, she told me some things she's starting to remember." He paused, waiting for that to sink in. "Feelings she had pushed down, memories compelled away, putting the puzzle pieces together- that sort of thing. I don't think I need to tell you how awful she feels about what happened, but unlike Stefan, I know that you're not going to blame her for it."

"I know. He's convinced that I might feel betrayed, but really I just wish there was something I could have done to help her. To stop her from having to feel that pain."

"Oof, your pain is that you wish you could stop her pain that she has from causing you pain. Now  _that's_  a dramatic cycle if I've ever seen one. With all of that drama, you know you can talk to me about any of it, right?"

"What more is there to say, Ric? I love her, I've always loved her. You know this,  _everyone_  knows this. Even Elena knows that. She knew well before she ever wanted to. You remember the whole-" He put on a mocking female voice.  _'I love Stefan, it will always be Stefan'_  thing, right?" He turned, rolling his eyes. He was preparing himself for what was about to come. He was sure that Elena probably told Alaric about how saying ' _I love you'_  was a mistake, that now her head was clear and that all she wanted to do was run back into Stefan's arms. "So on my front, nothing has changed. I still love her. There's nothing more to talk about." He upended his current beer, finishing it off.

"Actually, there is. There's a lot more to talk about Damon." He grabbed Damon's shoulder, making him look him in the eye. "I know what you're thinking. You're worried that now that her head is clearing she's going to go back to Stefan, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. I know what she told you… right before the attack. She meant it Damon. I can't tell you the whole story here, but human and all, she still loves you." He let go, his tone lightening. "I have absolutely  _no_  idea why, but it's the truth."

Damon's face melted. The depression that had been chaining him down lifted a little. But he wouldn't believe it completely until he heard it from her.

"I have to go talk to her." He got up, looking ready to rush out the door.

"Hey, not so fast, it's probably not the best idea this second. Sit your ass back down." Damon reluctantly listened. "It really wasn't my place to tell you any of this, but I can't have you sitting up in this house depressed when you have something to be happy about. So pull yourself together, get some sun, take a walk, and let's get you back in working order. I told Elena to do the same thing- she needs to learn to adjust."

"Whatever you say Ric." Damon smiled a bit. He would be lying if he said he wasn't happy to have his best friend by his side right now.

"Oh, and one more thing. You're human now, so you're going to need to learn how to fight for real. I know you just got up and out of bed today, but if you're feeling up to it, maybe we can at least show you a few things out in the yard."

Damon's eyes perked up at the word 'fight'. Maybe he could get the hang of this human thing after all.

"Nice ring by the way, Damon- is it vervain?"

"I don't know, Stefan gave it to me. He said Bonnie spelled it for protection, so I couldn't get compelled. It wards off danger or whatever witchy juju she imbued it with."

"Huh…" Something about it seemed off to Alaric, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Instead, he finished off another beer and dove right back into the pizza.


	32. Goodbye Mary, Goodbye Jane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, the characters, or anything within the universe. I do own a lot of wine, custom vampire fangs, a chromebook and an imagination, which is how we find ourselves here right now.
> 
> Chapter title song credit: Goodbye Stranger- Supertramp

After finishing off their pizza and beer, Alaric and Damon moved into the living room. They took turns spinning classic records while they played a leisurely game of poker. Damon was almost having fun when their male bonding was cut short by a sudden influx of people flooding into the boarding house.

First, Bonnie showed up, dragging a heavy looking book-bag with her. Next, Stefan returned from hunting- confused, yet not entirely surprised that Bonnie had shown up. Everyone was milling about, stalling for something. All of the stalling stopped when the last two people arrived: Caroline and Elena.

"Caroline, are you crazy? You never should have brought her here- it's too soon." Alaric yelled, instinctively stepping in front of Damon.

"I'm with Alaric on this one Caroline. You remember what happened yesterday, don't you?" A vein was nearly popping out of Stefan's forehead- he was holding back his rage.

"She needs to be involved in this Stefan. We can't keep her in the dark."

"Caroline filled me in… at least on what she knew. Damon and I are linked, which is why when I turned into a vampire, he turned into a human. I also know that if he were to turn into a vampire again, there's a good chance that I could become human again. I think that's worth talking about." Elena's voice, a universal pacifier, seemed to call everyone to sit down and listen; each person found a seat in the living room, keeping a safe distance from each other.

"Elena," Bonnie frowned. "We don't know that for sure. There's a strong possibility that this was a one-time thing. If we killed Damon, his body might not even be able to become a vampire. He's a supernatural anomaly that, from what I've found, has only existed once or twice in history."

"So,  _witchy,_  when exactly were you going to tell us that you found other cases of this  _Freaky Friday_  business happening?" Damon's sass flared.

"I've been doing research this whole time, not that anyone has really cared all that much. I've been reading up on three situations that seem to be similar to ours. One was between a werewolf and a human, one between a witch and a vampire, and one other between a human and a vampire. The werewolf and human situation- that one didn't quite fit the bill. The link caused the human to become a werewolf one full moon, causing the couple to be in an out of sync transition cycle where one was always a wolf. The witch and vampire one was a bit closer, with the witch and vampire each taking on parts of each other's powers. Wanting to be together forever, the witch decided she would give up her powers if it meant being able to become a vampire and stay with her love for eternity. When she died, well, when they thought she died, she didn't come back as a vampire. From what I can gather, it seems like all of the witch blood in the vampire's body made his blood less effective, and not strong enough to get her to transition. She seemed dead and they buried her, only for her to dig herself out of the grave. Their powers had merged completely, each becoming half-witch and half-vampire.

"Back before I became human I remember that I started to feel things more as if I were human again. My hair grew faster, I was more susceptible to temperature…" Damon trailed.

"And I could heal quickly. I thought it was just because I had vampire blood in my system, though."

"All of these cases revolve around blood sharing, although I'm very confused as to why a human and a werewolf would have blood shared. The story mentions that the werewolf had bitten the human, but it doesn't say anything about drinking blood deliberately."

"Let's rule that one out then. Seems irrelevant." Alaric decided.

"Agreed." Caroline, Bonnie, Elena and Damon and Stefan uttered, almost in sync.

"You said there's one more example, right? Between a vampire and a human?" Caroline chimed in.

"That's where it gets weird… It's a long story, so settle in. Back in the 1800s, in England, there was a vampire named Cecilia and a human named Edgar. Edgar was a man of status, meeting Cecilia at a party in London. They fell quickly in love, getting married within six months. He knew of her secret, but it didn't matter to him. Within a year of marriage, however, an outbreak of Spanish Influenza ripped through the city. They shared blood regularly- he was her sole donor. When he fell ill, she was able to ward off his symptoms, but her blood couldn't completely wipe out the virus. He died one night, waking up the next morning as a vampire in transition. Cecilia woke up a human, of course. Noticing that he was in transition, she fed him her blood, and he was a vampire."

"That's not a very long story at all, it sounds like exactly the same situation we're in." Alaric, like everyone else in the room, wasn't seeing anything strange about the story of Edgar and Cecilia.

"That's just the beginning. See, Cecilia had been turned when she was sixteen years old. By the time she met Edgar, she was 205. All she had wanted was to have children of her own, which was finally possible. Edgar could never possibly be the father of these children, and the thought of Cecilia being with any other man made him mad with jealousy. It seems like just the suggestion, with his heightened emotions, drove him off the ledge. He became overbearing and suffocating, monitoring Cecilia's every move. She didn't get out much, but at a family holiday gathering she met Edgar's brother Albert, and despite the spirits connecting her to Edgar, she fell in love with Albert. He could give her the family she always wanted. Divorce wasn't an option, especially when your husband was a vicious, jealous vampire, so one night she staked him. He never expected it- Edgar was so blinded by his emotions that he thought she was still in love with him."

"She must have been a great actress… playing both brothers like that. Sounds like a certain doppelganger bitch we used to know." Damon rolled his eyes.

"Why do you always have to bring everything back to Katherine? It doesn't sound like Cecilia was  _playing_  anyone at all. She had a tough situation, and she wanted to get out. And unlike Katherine, it seems like Cecilia actually loved one of the brothers." Stefan said through scowling eyes. "Now, can we let Bonnie finish the story, Damon?"

"Fine. Continue." He gestured, waving her along.

"Now, where was I… Oh yes. When Cecilia staked Edgar, she immediately turned back into a vampire, swapping places with Edgar. But what she hadn't accounted for was that she would turn into a vampire… that had a stake in its heart. She felt her body transition back into being a vampire, followed by a sharp pain to her chest. Edgar awoke at the same time, as a human, with the stake still lodged in his heart. Albert walked in hours later to find both of them dead- Edgar in a pool of blood and Cecilia cold and grey."

"That's very Romeo and Juliet." Caroline shivered. "I always used to think that story was so romantic, but now it just seems creepy. So what are we supposed to take away from this story? That if we try to reverse the process and make Elena human again, she and Damon will die?"

"Not exactly." Bonnie pursed her lips. "It just means that it's a possibility. It means that there isn't a hard set rule that if one dies, the other lives. The process is more of a conditional swap. The details are a bit unclear though."

"Hold on-" Elena stood up, beginning to pace. "I think I understand it better- let me try to explain. So Cecilia was human, and she staked the vampire Edgar. But when she did that, he arguably never came back at all, since he was already dying. She became the same as he was before the swap, a staked vampire. There are two things at play here that complicate it. The physical stake is the worst part. It seems like injuries are swapped when one person dies, but a stake to the heart is the only injury that a vampire can't recover from. She swapped conditions with a doomed vampire. Making it worse, that means Edgar woke up doomed as well."

Alaric continued where she left off.

"The other factor is that the vampire was the one to die. Any injury that would kill a vampire would kill a human, but not the other way around. Elena died in a car accident, so when she became a vampire she was healed. Damon didn't have any injuries as a vampire, so he was fine when he became a human."

Stefan continued.

"Edgar became a human while injured. So he might not have ever come back at all, like Elena said. What I don't get though is why the stake would have hurt Cecilia when she was a vampire? I understand that their injuries stay isolated to their bodies, but I don't understand why Cecilia would feel the stake that was in Edgar."

"My guess," Damon jumped in. "Is that the swap happened right before the vampire Edgar died. Think of it like transition, but for death. Until the desiccation happened, he wasn't actually dead, but being staked is something you can't reverse."

"For the sake of avoiding talking in circles, can we just assume that the lesson here is to not kill the vampire first, but to make sure the human is always the one to die before the swap?" Caroline tapped her toes impatiently. She didn't like long, drawn out discussions that were mostly conjecture. They took up patience she didn't have.

"I think the story also shows that there is a possibility that we do both survive if we try to go back." Elena sat back down. "This is a decision that stays between me and Damon, but before we make a decision, I think that we should figure out exactly how it should be done. After that, we will know the risks and we can make a decision on whether to try to switch back. Sound good?" She surveyed the room. She could tell that there were people who didn't want it to be her decision, mainly Caroline, but she wasn't about to let Damon's humanity be taken away from him without his consent.

A few hours and multiple arguments later, they came up with a game plan on how to make the potential transition as foolproof as possible. Combining the previous swap of Damon and Elena with the stories Bonnie found, they formulated a list of conditions that had to be met. First, it couldn't be Elena's blood to turn Damon. Although they had little reasoning behind this, it had been Caroline's blood to turn Elena, and that transition was successful, so they didn't want to jinx it. Second, Damon had to be the one to die, and it had to be from a method vampires could recover from; they decided on breaking his neck. Third, Elena couldn't be the one to kill him. After talking it over longer, they realized that another factor in the story of Cecilia and Edgar was that she killed him, thus triggering their transition. There was a definite possibility that this could have been the reason she ended up dead, so someone else would kill Damon while he had vampire blood in his system. When Damon asked for volunteers, Caroline's hand shot up immediately, to nobody's surprise.

The final condition was that, before the process took place, Damon and Elena would need to blood share heavily- or at least, that's what Alaric thought the final condition should be. While Bonnie insisted that the blood-sharing had only catalyzed the connection that was already there, Alaric was convinced that it could make the bond stronger, bettering their odds. Stefan wasn't so sure, since when Elena turned into a vampire, Damon and Elena didn't share any blood. Obviously, the usual scenarios of blood-sharing were something Stefan didn't want to encourage either, and everyone could sense his lingering jealousy. Although Damon confirmed that Elena would be able to feel his pain more strongly if they shared blood, it was argued that pain wasn't lethal.

"Wait, but if they blood-share right before he's turned, wouldn't it be Elena's vampire blood that turns him?" Caroline had a point. "I thought we didn't want that?"

"Right, and then I'm getting turned from the watered down blood of a vampire who might not even be a vampire once I die?" Damon was concerned.

"I think that settles this debate then." Bonnie threw down the metaphorical gavel before turning to Alaric. "Sorry to veto your suggestion Alaric, but we will bypass the blood sharing. Worst case, if the bond is too weak, both Damon and Elena will be vampires."

"So that's it then. Now all that's left is for Damon and Elena to decide what they want." Bonnie shut all of the notebooks she had open, trying to look busy while everyone else shifted awkwardly in their chairs.

Caroline opened her mouth to speak, most likely to throw in her two cents, but Stefan reached over to stop her. Alaric threw a look at Damon, then a look at Elena.

"We should all get out of here then, and let them talk it out." Alaric stood, walking toward the door. In a familiar pattern, Stefan sped forward, stopping Alaric.

"Are you crazy? We can't leave Damon alone in the house with her right now. Her emotions are heightened, she has no self control. Think about what could happen? Do you think that they'd follow all the rules of the plan right now? No, he would probably just die."

"Stefan, calm down. Let's find a middle ground." Caroline and Bonnie stepped forward, so that they were all standing in the hall close to the door.

"You know Elena and I can hear you, right? Well… she can, vampire hearing and all, but I know you're talking about us!" Damon bellowed. He didn't join them, choosing to stay in the living room, sitting on his couch opposite of Elena.

"I have an idea. What if I give Damon my Gilbert ring for the night? That way he can't die by any supernatural hand. And if he can't die, then the transition won't happen, meaning Elena is safe too." To sweeten the pot, Alaric threw in another detail. "Plus, let's have them talk it out somewhere public- not the boarding house. Elena is less likely to act out in public."

"I don't know, Alaric, that sounds even riskier. We don't want her hurting anyone else..." Bonnie trailed.

"I think she's fine, actually." Stefan couldn't believe what he was saying, but it was the truth. "She sat in the room with three humans for hours today. She argued, lost her temper, got emotional, and not once did her fangs come out, did her face wrinkle, or did she need to go grab a blood bag. I don't know if the situation with Damon was an anomaly or if she was scared straight, but I think she would be fine for a few hours or so. If you want I can tag along at a distance…"

"We wouldn't make you do that Stefan. This is hard enough as it is." Caroline put her arm on his shoulder. "I'm with him on this. I think she would be fine. Let's give them one night to think it through, and then by this time tomorrow, it will all be over."

* * *

With the situation out of their hands, Bonnie decided it might be important for them to have a girls night in and relax. Stefan and Alaric both went into the D.C. area so that if anything happened with Elena and Damon they would be right there to help, which left Bonnie and Caroline with the boarding house to themselves. Bonnie raided the wine cellar, grabbing out a huge bottle of champagne big enough for a party- or in this case, a blonde, emotional, vampire named Caroline Forbes. They snuck into Damon's bathroom, filling the tub with fragrant bubbles, sitting in the bath in their cutest swimsuits and talking about everything that was bothering Caroline- which was a lot.

"I've been there for him this whole time, Bonnie. I'm the only one who has." She poured herself another glass of champagne. "You can't imagine how hurt he is, watching the woman he loves get dragged around God's creation, being corrupted by his evil brother, eventually losing her life over it." The glass of champagne was gone. This time, Caroline just reached for the bottle and took a swig. "Elena is even out there with Damon right now, and what does Stefan have to do? Babysit them. That's so unfair!"

"Caroline, I think you're being a bit… over-dramatic here. You can't honestly say you're surprised that Elena has feelings for Damon, can you?" Bonnie took a shy sip from her glass. She wanted to be sober enough to watch her words, not wanting to upset Caroline too much.

"Well her  _feelings_ \- if that's what they really were, if he wasn't  _compelling_ her the whole time- are wrong! Stefan is her knight in shining armor- the perfect guy. He even has the gorgeous hero-hair to match. Breaking up with him should have been enough for all of you to see that she wasn't in her right mind. She would have had to be crazy to give up her one true love."

"Is he perfect for  _her_ , or do you just think he's perfect? Maybe she's not the one he's destined to be with. The spirits, regardless of how much blood Damon and Elena shared, wouldn't have allowed this type of life connection to happen between any two people. The fact that Damon and Elena were bonded so easily shows that fate wanted them to be together- that they are soulmates. You don't get more than one soulmate, that's not how it works. Well, actually that depends on your belief system, but what Damon and Elena have is arguably  _much_ stronger than soulmates. More like… twin flames. So that means Stefan's must be… someone else." The coy witch shrugged her shoulders, trying to be obvious without giving everything away.

"Bonnie Bennett, what are you implying?" Caroline jokingly chucked a handful of bubbles at Bonnie.

"I'm just implying that maybe you've been so invested in finding Elena just so that you could spend more time with the green-eyed,  _hero-haired,_ rose-tattooed Salvatore brother."

It finally hit Caroline. Bonnie wasn't wrong- everything about Stefan was dreamy. From the day Stefan walked into Mystic Falls High a year ago, Caroline had started planning a June wedding. Stefan, however, had always been Elena's- and would always be Elena's, or so she thought. She had never considered that one day, she might finally get her chance with him. As the girls finished off the bottle of champagne, Caroline picked up where she had started months ago- figuring out how to make Stefan Salvatore hers. Maybe one day, she would get that June wedding.


	33. Wild and Fluorescent, Come Home to My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to The Vampire Diaries. You know the drill ;)  
> Title credit: Supercut by Lorde

There was definitely something familiar about the club they were standing outside of. It was the same club where Elena had run into Damon a few months ago. The club where they hooked up in the back alley, sharing blood and kisses until they finally parted for the night. This time was a little bit different though. Before they headed out, they dropped their things in Damon's loft near Dupont Circle, almost a clone of his place in New York- modern, hip, and dripping with luxury.

They got ready in separate rooms, Elena chugging down at least three bags of blood before heading out. She slipped into a green silky dress and curled her hair into loose waves. This might be her last night as a vampire, so she wanted to live it up. Damon dressed in all black, hating how is skin now had more color to it. It didn't quite compliment his go to all-black wardrobe as well as his pale vampire skin did. The change was too subtle for most people to notice, but he did, and it bothered him. As each of them got dressed, they unavoidably began to tally all of the things they liked and disliked about themselves in this form.

Elena hated how her skin wasn't as warm, instead it floated into a more pale olive tone. Damon was amused by how his facial hair grew faster. He could now potentially grow a beard, which was an opportunity he never had. Elena on the other hand, loved how she could go a week without shaving her legs. Damon's eyes were a more natural blue, while Elena's brown eyes were a bit darker and more intense. In all honesty, the differences between the two of them were very small, but the biggest difference was that Elena would look this way forever, while Damon would start to age.

He didn't know how he felt about that, but it was a moot point. In his mind, he had already decided that whatever Elena chose would be his choice as well. If she wanted to be a human, he would give up his humanity. If she wanted to stay a vampire, he would stay human. For tonight at least, he was going to stay human. He slipped Alaric's Gilbert ring on his index finger, ignoring how gaudy of a thing it was. He still wore the ring Stefan gave him on his other hand, the one with the Salvatore crest. He might not need it for daylight anymore, but last time he checked, the Gilbert rings didn't prevent compulsion. The last thing he wanted was for the martyr Elena to compel him into agreeing on a decision that was in his best interest instead of hers. She didn't get to make any sacrifices this time. He wanted her to have whatever she wanted out of life. Sure, he had missed being human more than anything, even if being a vampire suited him so well. But if nothing else, at least now he had a taste of it again- a vacation from the blood lust- even if it was only for a short time.

He slid into his leather jacket, anticipating the chill they would face on their walk to the club. When he saw Elena come out of the downstairs room, she took his breath away. He savored that moment- how seeing the woman he loved could actually make him feel like he was going to die. She was so beautiful. The world didn't deserve to have her beauty for eternity, and he knew Elena deserved the chance to live out her human life. There was a small chance she would choose to stay a vampire, but he knew how unlikely that was.

Once they were at the club, Elena locked fingers with Damon, pulling him past the line and toward the bouncer.

"What are your names? Are you on the list?"

She looked into his eyes, her pupils dilating as she quietly spoke to him.

"I'm Elena Gilbert and this is Damon Salvatore. Not only are we on the list, but we have a VIP table in the back, and you'll send over someone to walk us to it."

The man blinked before talking into a headset. Seconds later, a waitress dressed in a sleek, white outfit came out, walking them to a plush, round table service booth near the back of the club. Damon looked at her with awe, incredibly impressed.

"What?  _Damon Salvatore doesn't do lines._  Remember?" She smirked. "Although that wasn't entirely true. I've seen you do  _plenty_  of lines… of coke."

"Those days are behind me princess. I don't want to risk the health of my pathetic human heart on drugs. My liver, on the other hand, I'm fine with ruining." He waved up his hand to call back over a waitress. "Nice touch with the VIP table by the way, where did you learn that trick from?" He winked at her. "Now you, however, can do as many drugs as you want. It's your last night being a vampire after all, you might as well live it up in your invincible body."

"My last night as a vampire? You say that like it's already decided." She frowned. While the club was loud, their table was far enough away that they could still have a conversation- especially while sitting so close like they were. They had started sitting on opposite sides of the table, looking like they were in a negotiation, but somehow within minutes Elena was almost in Damon's lap. It's like they were two opposite poles of a magnet, drawn together. The waitress came back, holding a bottle of grey goose and a bottle of champagne, quietly leaving behind a few glasses before rushing off to give them privacy.

"Of course it's your last night as a vampire. Don't lie to me for a second by telling me that you don't want to be human again." He furrowed his brow, but not in an aggressive way. He pushed a piece of her hair back behind her ear, looking at her with concern. It was obvious- she was about to try to take the selfless road.

"But Damon, you deserve a second shot at humanity too. Who am I to take that away from you?"

"Elena, I had 24 years on this planet before I became a vampire. You haven't even had eighteen. On the basis of that alone, you deserve to be human again. My decision is to become a vampire again so that you can have that life back. Maybe in a few years, who knows, we could try this whole swapping thing again."

"We are pushing the luck at trying it a second time. Don't you think it's safer to just leave things as is?"

"Fine." It was time for him to start busting out other excuses. "I like being a vampire. I don't want to get old while you stay young. You never saw my father- I probably won't age well."

"Come on, I know that you're just saying that to prove a point Damon. It's okay to say that you want to stay human. I remember when you compelled me to forget some things that you told me. One of those things was that you missed being human more than anything in the world."

"Don't you miss being human too?"

Elena paused, unsure how to proceed. It seemed that she and Damon were at an impasse, but she knew that Damon's decision was most likely backed by everyone else. If this conversation was going to go anywhere, she needed some more courage, so she opened up the bottle of Grey Goose and poured out two shots.

"Look, let's just party one more time. I've said what I think, and you've explained your side. There really isn't much more to say about it, and I think that we should both think it over, try to see it from each other's point of view. Last time we were here, I was human and you were a vampire. So why don't we try having fun tonight, with me as a vampire and you as a human, and see which was better? Then tomorrow morning, we can make our final decision."

"It's a deal then. If, when all is said and done tomorrow, you still want to be a vampire, then so be it. Just remember, I don't want you making your decision based on me- I want you to make the decision based on whether or not you want to be human. I'm fine with either outcome."

"Alright- let's drink to that!" Damon and Elena picked up their shots, toasting them before tossing them back. For equal measure, Elena chugged from the vodka bottle for a few seconds. It wouldn't be fair to let Damon get more drunk than her. She could tell the vodka tickled his throat, and it made her giggle.

"Hey, don't laugh at the lightweight. You should've seen me last time I was here. I had the whole table full of  _gorgeous_  people. I was full as a tick- of blood  _and_ booze."

"I know," Elena deadpanned. "I was here, you know."

"I know that, but I didn't think you were here to pay attention to me. I mean, why would you?"

"Of course I paid attention to you. You were nestled in the back of the VIP section, feeding off of a redhead so gorgeous and curvy that it made me feel like a wispy child. The table was full of gorgeous people, and you had  _all_ of them. It was the first thing I saw when I walked in, so I made a beeline to the bar to distract myself. You didn't even notice I was there."

"Elena, I could smell you the second you finally got in the club. I'd have to be- well I would have had to be miles away to miss that delicious honeysuckle scent." He leaned over, his eyes becoming hooded as he ghosted his mouth over her neck. "I was worried that it would be gone once you became a vampire, or that I might not be able to smell it as a human, but it's just as sweet now. Sweet with a tiny hint of spice." He nipped playfully at her carotid artery. He couldn't do any damage, but the motion sent memories flooding into his brain of how amazing her blood had tasted to him back then. For a brief moment, he wished that they could both be vampires- that he could taste how amazing her vampire blood would be. When vampires shared blood, it was a type of emotional bond unparalleled by anything else- except maybe a spirit bond like the one he had with Elena.

His playful nip made her giggle, her mind drawing back to how dizzying it had been when he fed from her in the alley. The most alluring part had been how it didn't even hurt. Somehow, as his fangs pierced her delicate skin, all she felt was waves of pleasure shooting through her body. Now, his blunt human teeth almost tickled. His mouth stayed there though, his tongue applying pressure as he kissed up her neck, trailing as he tasted her sweet, vampire skin.

Everything about vampires had been built to draw prey in. They were the epitome of seduction, and Damon loved being on the other end of it. He pulled her closer as he turned her head towards him, preparing for a deep kiss. His efforts were cut short as she placed a finger over his lips, gently pushing him away.

"Not so fast- we are going to take another set of shots and you're going to dance with me." Her pupils dilated. If he didn't have the ring Stefan gave him, he would've been compelled.

"Elena Gilbert- did you just try to compel me?" Damon teased. Immediately, Elena jumped back in shock, looking ashamed.

"I didn't mean to! I'm sor-"

Damon just laughed.

"It happens to everyone when they're new. Anything you want badly enough can come out as compulsion. You might assume that it's hard to learn how to use compulsion, but it's the opposite. It's hard to learn how to  _not_  compel people. At least, for me that's how it was."

Elena still looked mortified, so he poured two more shots.

"Since you asked me  _so nicely…_ " He couldn't help but laugh again. "Of course I'll drink more booze and dance with you. What else do you think we came here for?" He winked.

They repeated the routine, clinking their shot glasses and Elena chasing hers with a healthy waterfall of extra alcohol. Once they were done, Elena grabbed his hand and dragged him onto the dance floor.

"Your confidence is astounding. Last time you were here, I sat at the bar nursing a rum and coke while I watched you flail on the dance floor. You were a fish out of water then, but look at you now. Leading  _me_."

She walked them directly into the center of the lit dance floor just when one of her favorite songs started to play: 'Feel so close' by Calvin Harris. She locked her arms around Damon's neck as the infectious beat pulsed through them. They danced like that, face to face, completely carefree. After a minute or so, Damon had an idea of his own, twirling Elena around so her back was pressed up against his chest. His strong fingers gripped her hip bones as she swayed side to side, the music hypnotic and sensual. It was just as it had been when Damon snuck up behind her at the club last time. Somewhere inside, she had known it was him- but she had been too nervous to turn around and look. In this moment, she couldn't be happier that he was the man behind her, leading her hips to the music, sliding his hands up and down her curves, kissing her neck from behind.

They were just as drunk as they had been the last time, and when Elena flipped back around, she licked her lips, just like before. This time however, the hunger was entirely different. She wanted all of him. Last time, she had offered her neck to him, but now, more than anything, she wanted him to offer himself to her.

He noticed her eyes flick down to his neck while she felt up his chest. She trailed her hand down to his waistband, dancing her fingers back up his abs and returning her arms to latch around his neck. As her hands touched his neck, she felt her eyes crinkle at the edges, a hunger growing deep in her core. She quickly turned her face away from him.

"I'm sorry-" He cupped her head in his hands, but her eyes drifted to his carotid artery.

"Don't be love, even I couldn't resist last time."

"I don't want to resist." Her eyes would not budge from his neck. He leaned over to whisper in her ear, his voice hot and seductive.

" _Do it, Elena."_

"But… what if I hurt you?"

"Don't worry about that. Just worry about making it feel good, and it will." This was his first lesson to her as a vampire, and she was an eager student.

She began to kiss his neck, hiding her face with her hair as she prepared to sink her fangs into him. She felt her canines elongate, and once they had made their appearance, there was no way to resist. Every thought was focused on his pleasure, and the strategy worked.

To Damon, he felt a quick prick followed by a flood of bliss. It felt like electricity was flowing through every vein in his body at once. He could feel how much she loved him as she fed. It was as if their minds were one. Suddenly a ravenous frustration grew within him. They weren't close enough, they were wearing too many articles of clothing, he wasn't inside of her. Just when he thought he was going to burst, she pulled back. Locking eyes in a moment of recognition, they crashed into a kiss. Damon tasted his blood on her lips, somehow overpowering the bottle of vodka she'd had at this point. It didn't matter to him though. Kissing her was all that mattered. He felt like there was nothing before this and there would be nothing after this. His life was her tongue dancing in his mouth, their lips locking, teeth nibbling, hands tangled in their hair.

They didn't realize it, but their passion was the envy of the entire club. Their gorgeous bodies were grinding, swaying and sliding together, mesmerizing anyone who dared to look. They were completely lost, hopping back and forth between the dance floor and the bar.

Elena, very drunk herself, noticed a little too late that Damon was starting to stumble. Trying to be a good protector, she made him drink a glass of water, which he did not appreciate. They still couldn't keep their hands off of each other, the urge becoming unbearable around 1:00am. Elena hailed them a cab back to the loft, and then all bets were off.

If she was going to decide to be a human or a vampire, she needed to have sex with Damon one more time- and this time, not in the woods. High on his blood, drunk off of Grey Goose, she nearly carried him upstairs, so eager to get him into bed. She was moving too fast for him- physically too fast. He could barely follow her movements with his eyes. One second, they were both fully dressed and he was laying on the bed. The next, Elena was in her underwear and Damon was stripped down to his boxer briefs.

"Hey! I hope you didn't rip that shhhirt." He slurred a little. "It was Varvatos. If you did, that would be a dick move." He pointed a finger at her jokingly.

"Well, I'll show you some dick moves." She smirked, pulling down his boxers as she initiated what would be the most amazing sexual experience of human Damon Salvatore's life.

* * *

They woke up in the morning, the apartment a bit chilly and the sky outside misty. It didn't matter much to either of them- they were snuggled under the fluffy down comforter- still naked from the night before. It was Damon's idea to get up first. He had to go to the bathroom, but more importantly, he was starving. He knew Elena was a terrible cook, and he didn't want to leave the apartment- or the gorgeous naked woman in it- to go out to eat. That made his only option cooking, and he was thankful that the maid always stocked pancake mix for his mornings-after. This time, though,  _he_  was the morning after.

After pulling on a soft henley shirt and some warm cashmere pajama pants, Damon made his way downstairs. As he mindlessly went through the motions of making pancakes, Elena snuck up behind him. She stared at him for a minute or so, admiring his domesticity. He was adorable in the kitchen, dancing around to music while he cooked. He was listening to Santana, twirling his hips as he whisked the thick batter. When ' _Smooth'_  came on, he started singing, his southern drawl sneaking out. It glided like butter over the melody, melting Elena's heart one note at a time.

Finally willing to reveal herself, she waited until he put all of the cooking utensils down and pulled him into her arms. He picked up that she was nudging him into a casual Salsa dance, and Damon was ready to bust out his skills. Even as a human, he was a fabulous dancer- his movements could seduce anyone.

"You know, before you  _whisked_ me up into this dance, I was trying to  _whisk_  myself up some breakfast. I worked up quite the appetite last night." He lifted Elena's hand, twirling her around before pulling her tightly into him. His hand was on her lower back, rocking her with the beat.

"I know the feeling. I used to wake up the same way, remember? I'm surprised you're not too sore to walk. You kept up with me pretty well. You're barely even bruised, and I know I wasn't gentle."

"I'm still not used to making love as a human. I miss being the vampire in that equation. What about you? What was it like being the woman in control? Did you miss being human?"

"If I'm honest, Damon- I do miss it. Maybe right now isn't the time to say this, but I've made my decision. I want to be human again. You're so much better at being a vampire than I am. The only way I'd want to be one is if you could be too. If all of this goes wrong, and we both end up vampires, I'm okay with that. Are you?" She stepped back, searching his face for an answer. Her eyes were wide and nervous.

"Of course I am. If me being a vampire means that you get even the tiniest chance of being human again, then I'm in. There's no convincing necessary, this is what I wanted all along. Plus- I'm much more fun in the bedroom as a vampire." He wiggled his eyebrows at her, twirling her around pulling her into a hug from behind. He jokingly nibbled at her neck, making her giggle.

"I wasn't going to say anything, but before, sex used to last all night. I wore you out in a little over an hour- And that was pushing it."

"I've been there. I've been a vampire- I know that you probably wanted to keep going forever."

"How could I not? Have you seen you? You're.. Delicious." She licked her lips, letting her fangs slip out before busting out laughing. "I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. I've always wanted to say that."

"Busting out the fangs… nice touch." He couldn't hide that his pulse had jumped a bit at the prospect of her feeding off of him. "Trust me, I'd love to be your breakfast, but if we are going to switch back today, I think everyone is right- we shouldn't share any more blood than we already have."

"You drank my blood?"

"You didn't notice?" He lightly kissed her cheek.

"I guess not. Or maybe I don't remember, I was pretty drunk. Was it at the club?"

"Even if you were drunk, vampires rarely black out. It was just a tiny bit 'lena." He mumbled her name, kissing down her neck, nuzzling into her warmth. "I nipped your lip while we were kissing. I'm sure it wasn't enough to mess with the swapping spell."

"Well, why don't I let you get back to making those pancakes, so you can have something else to nip on."

Damon made pancakes. Elena did her best to make coffee. They enjoyed their last morning like this. Tomorrow, their lives would be completely different, even if they weren't sure how.

* * *

"So, are both of you ready?" Alaric asked. The group was gathered in the boarding house living room, all of the curtains drawn- even though it was night. What seemed like hundreds of candles were lit. Bonnie said it would put the spirits in good humor and bring protection.

"I'm ready as I'll ever be." Damon straightened his shoulders, walking to the middle of the room.

"And you, Elena? Are you sure about this?" Bonnie asked, Elena nodding in response before joining Damon in the middle of the large oriental rug.

"Then let's get on with this." Bonnie handed Damon a vial of blood. "This is Caroline's. You need to drink it."

"Bottoms up." Damon eyed the thick liquid before throwing it back. It was sweet and floral, but disgusting compared to the few, sweet drops of Elena's blood he had tasted.

"Alright then, there's only one more step." Stefan said, looking over at Caroline. "Are you still sure you want to do this? If anything were to go wrong…"

"Stefan, if anything were to go wrong I wouldn't want you to bear the burden of killing your brother."

"Guys, can you cool it with the  _dying_  talk?" Alaric's tone was annoyed. "Nobody is dying here today."

"Actually, Elena and I are  _both_  dying if you want to be technical..."

"Damon, watch yourself or I'll snap your neck  _myself._ " Alaric huffed.

"Then let's get a move on. I'm ready. I'm really chomping at the bit here for someone to kill me." Damon motioned for Caroline to come over. "Come on vampire Barbie, you do the honors. I'm sure you've wanted to do this for a whi-"

_CRACK_

Caroline vampire sped over and cut him off mid sentence.

"God, that felt good." She panted. "Okay now what? We just wait?"

Elena and Damon fell to the floor at the same time, a loud thud echoing through the boarding house. Stefan picked them up one at a time and laid them on couches. When they woke up, no matter how they woke up, they deserved to be comfortable.

Everyone paced around for what felt like an eternity, but was more like an hour. Bonnie had made relaxation tea, sharing it with Alaric and Stefan. Caroline refused, breaking into the stash of blood bags they'd brought up for Damon's transition, nervously sucking through the tubing. Nobody said a word, instead just trading nervous glances at each other. With each minute that passed, they feared that neither Damon or Elena would wake up.

Suddenly, everything changed as Damon and Elena's bodies both heaved up at once, coughing and wheezing. The group split, with Caroline and Bonnie rushing to Elena's side and Alaric and Stefan rushing to Damon's.

"Elena! Welcome back, how do you feel!" Caroline squeezed her. "Oh my God it worked! That's a human pulse! I'm so happy! You're alive!"

"I won't be much longer if you don't stop squeezing me, Care." She laughed, her friend letting her go. Before they could celebrate much longer, they heard a concerned voice call over from the other couch.

"Hey guys, you should come see this." Alaric's voice was low and confused.

Elena tried to get up, but Caroline motioned for Bonnie to go over and see what happened while she stayed and fussed over Elena. Her vampire ears could already hear the news Alaric was about to report on.

When Bonnie got over to Damon's couch, even her human eyes noticed his breathing. His obvious, not-vampire breathing.

"I… don't think he's in transition Bonnie." Stefan's brow furrowed as he moved his hands all over Damon, testing different spots for a pulse.

"How would you know he's not in transition? Aren't people still functionally human until they feed?" Caroline yelled over.

"From all of my research," Alaric squinted his eyes at Damon. "His pulse should be slow, his breathing shallow. He should feel like he has a hangover. How do you feel, Damon?"

"I have a bit of a stiff neck, but other than that I feel fine. I have been in transition before, remember? And it didn't feel like this. It was miserable." Damon heaved himself up so he was sitting up.

"Maybe this time your body adjusted to it better. How can we know for sure?" Stefan looked at Bonnie.

"I'm not sure… the obvious way would be to give him some blood and see if he transitions. That's the only way to know." She shrugged her shoulders.

Alaric rushed over to the cooler, grabbing a blood bag and tossing it to Damon. Cautiously, he ripped the tubing, taking a sip. Immediately he spat it out, it was disgusting.

"Before you guys celebrate, I know how newbies are, sometimes the first sip is gross, but the second is better. I'll try again to make sure." Another sip. Another mouthful of blood went flying across the room.

"How do you feel?" Stefan furrowed his brow.

"Completely normal. I'm human, brother. I don't know how, but-" As Damon lifted his hands to shrug, Alaric snatched his hand from midair.

"You're still wearing my ring- my Gilbert ring." Everyone's eyes widened. "Caroline was supernatural- the ring won't let you die at the hands of a supernatural entity- and turning into a vampire counts as dying."

"Wait… No. No no no! That means it didn't work!" He was frantic, trying to scramble to his feet. "Where is Elena- is she okay? Is she- ?"

Tears welled in Stefan's eyes, but he was smiling. "Go ask her yourself."

Damon shot up as fast as he could handle, walking across the room to Elena. Nearly pushing Caroline out of the way, he leaned over and pulled Elena into a hug, joining her on the couch.

"Are you really human too?" Elena was crying happy tears.

"I am if you are, otherwise this is just a dream." His eyes glistened with tears as he kissed her forehead.

"Now we get to live out the perfect, human life together. I can't believe it."

Damon stared into her eyes. His mind filled with all of the possibilities of a human life with Elena. It was almost too much love for his heart to hold.

"You better believe it, because we have  _so_  much life to live." He pulled away just enough to look her in the eyes. "You have no idea of all the adventures we have in store."

She smiled- no, smirked- at him. His heart fluttered out of control, in perfect time with hers. Everyone else melted away; they were the only people in the room.

"Damon Salvatore, don't threaten me with a good time."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Cry to Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18803422) by [LaCroixWitch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaCroixWitch/pseuds/LaCroixWitch)




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